Admitting to myself that I was in pain and hurting mentally, emotionally and physically as a result of a traumatic upbringing. Admitting to myself that I am the creator of my own reality and therfore I am accountable for my past, present and future. Admitting to myself that I needed to surrender to healing, and abandoning the things that did not serve me so that I could make space for the things that do serve me. Admitting that loving myself wasn't this corny pretentious act that I thought it was. 

After my 3rd suicide attempt when it didn’t work that I was either gonna die or do everything I can to learn how to live.
I realized That I didn’t actually want die, but that I wanted to live but I just didn’t know how to. 
I pulled out all the stops to do whatever I could to make myself happy and love myself.
Didn’t last long though those darn onion layers. 

oh well it sure did propel me on the world of self actualization and I could never go back 

I've had quite a few of these. The best one was being picked by Teal Swan to go on stage. 

In 2017, when I finally stopped lying to myself. It js like a part of you knows the truth and I go with the fake hope anyways. Ever since then, I never lied to myself.

I took acid when I was 16 and during the offset of the trip I went into the void it was some form of samadhi I presume, I was completely empty and my body stood straight and well. There was a distance between me and my body, it obeyed my will but I felt to separate from it yet present with it. At that I decided I'm going to make meditation my number one priority in life and I vowed to return to that state. To this day I still pursue this aim (I'm 21 now)

When I was 8 years old and my parents got divorced and a hell of new life began, the oh my God kinda life.

Hearing people outside of myself say things that i'd suppressed, for any given reason.

On 11/2/2020 at 2:52 PM, Sarah Mohamed said:

After my 3rd suicide attempt when it didn’t work that I was either gonna die or do everything I can to learn how to live.
I realized That I didn’t actually want die, but that I wanted to live but I just didn’t know how to. 
I pulled out all the stops to do whatever I could to make myself happy and love myself.
Didn’t last long though those darn onion layers. 

oh well it sure did propel me on the world of self actualization and I could never go back 

That's beautiful Sarah. I admire your commitment to self- love and self-actualization

Winning a court case against the mental health services and having a somatic release of grief, making peace with my sadness and producing soul felt artwork that I have just sold!

being put in a psych ward

The moment I was retraumatized by being judged by a number and the same moment my self-hate was gaslit. I am pushed to the brink of suicide. And yet now I am awakening so idk which moment to really choose. It's like every day I feel more clairty than yesterday. 

The day I had had it completely lost and decided to no longer be complacent or please anyone anymore no matter the cost. 

That day for the first time, I actually truly stood up for myself and the ironic thing is that was the time I didn't even need to communicate this to anyone. It was the conversation I had in my own heart and it defined my relationship with myself for the times to come. 

The moment I had to spend a week without my kids repeating the pattern of the wounded codependent woman who puts others before myself. It was a pattern I knew was there but to see my programming in full affect right before my eyes was truly that double edged sword moment. Ahhh to integrate the fiery aspects of self. 

Meeting Teal for the first time live in 2015 in Basel workshop ^^ wont forget that ever

Knowing that I have A soul that shows me the way thru intuition.

Being born against MY will

My first life-changing moment was when I realized Hell/The Devil only existed to Christians because "Hell" and "The Devil" are concepts in Christianity. That's when I started researching .

Losing my grip on reality in 2019. Changed my sense of security forever. 

Asking my DoorDasher out, realizing how manageable making new connections really is 

Living in Arizona

First was when I first fell in love and realized that we will never going to make it and saying no to it. The second was being under direct fire and surviving it with 3 impossible "signs". Looking forward for the next one.

June 29/ 2021 around 4:20am when I received a phone call from the father of my boys, crying and saying: please someone help my son! that moment I knew my life was about to change forever…and June 29/2021 around 6am when I finally arrived at the house hoping I was wrong and as soon I saw his face I knew there was no way around…my life was changed forever in that  exact moment…my beloved son was gone, he shot himself.

It was around June 13th 2021.....The Lord Spoke down to me & started waking me up..... like they say once the rabbit is out of the hat, you can't just put it back in ....

I was 17 and i was using l.s.d. ( which i had started taking when i was 14). The night had alot of opening experiences, it seems that i went to far into a place that i was not invited and was attacked by the places natural defenses be for the owners knew i was there. Best way to explain it. 

  If anyone wants to know the full story just ask. Anyway at the end of the night after i had cut both wrist and was crawling around a pitch dark field looking for the blade so i could do a better jod. A hand fell over my eyes a brusted away the chaos.  Like a curtain pulled from the night sky i could see starlight and i knew what was going on, i had stopped falling. That is when i knew there where other creatures in the next. There is much more to this story but this is the defining moment. 

The moment I realized that as long as I feel the need to give anything, I am with the wrong person. With the right person, I feel like a shining diamond even when all I am doing is sitting on the beach absorbing the sunset, the person who makes me feel capable and powerful even when he caretakes me.