This message is quite relevant to me right now. I want to heal something but I also feel resistant to healing it.
Today I was thinking about the time I first discovered the soul retrieval process. I was around 20 at that time and went through a really bad situation what we can call a dark night of the soul. I had illnesses and I believed I was going to die so I stopped fighting for life I just surrendered to death. My whole life was pain, so why would I want to stay.
Then something happenned. I went through a process which was weird to say the least, I went out of body and started seeing things from other dimensions, I was going back in time and going forward in time, I met my soul parts and somehow I know what to do. I wasnt thinking about it I was just doing the process, and somehow I felt such power and trust that I never ever felt before. My mind went blank and I didn't think about anything. When this process ended, I felt like something came back which I have lost before. At that time I didn't know how, but I healed instantly. I was shocked, I was walking like a nutcase for days wondering about what the hell just happened.
I went to spiritual teachers and gurus to ask them about these things but nobody knew anything about it, they see me as strange who can travel in dimensions and see things that they don't see. They convinced me to forget this and follow their teachings. For a lot of time I did so, I forget about this whole thing and suffered because of it.
These teachers dissappointed me completely, they managed to convince me that I am a bad person. After many years I got fed up with them, I left and went on my own journey.
I always had spirit guides around me but I was so frustrated with them that I chased them away. But this time I listened to them and I was willing to find out why the hell I am here.
Somewhere I heard a word 'soul retrieval'. I didn't know the meaning of it, I just felt that this is important for me, so I looked for the meaning and find out that this was the process that I did many years before. Then I found inner child work.
Then I went to a bookstore and Teal's CP book literally jumped in front of me. Just fell to the floor and nobody was around, so it was weird. I bought the book. Basically CP is a form of soul retrieval.
There is still a tug of war inside me because of the many years in disfunctional spiritual groups, which really screwed me up. I never would have listended to those people. I have resistance to soul retrieval because they made me belive that it was the gift of the "dark side" and shit like this. I know that this is the solution to heal my current problems, just have to face the resistance and the pain, which is so hard to do alone...
I experienced before that the universe is absolutely in the favor of my healing and gives me all the tools and informations to help me heal. I just have to let the universe to help me. And have to face the part that is in so much pain that wants to leave..