Teal, cause I’d wonder what it’s like to have all those traits I always think I’d be much happier with than the opposites that I have (needing to be the opposite of me to be happy)

Instant healing

Emotion

Neglecting: emotionally mostly as in lack of self regulation harming: not doing emotional processes in the right way resulting me in retraumatizing myself making my wounds worse. (Which I now know is because I can’t emotionally regulate myself)

Sleep

That I’m too weak, incapable, can’t handle it, can’t do it, too small, too dumb, too traumatized

Me My sense of self

That I’m in pain

The sun the yellow

Grief an despair to see, weaker than other people so they can feel strong and empowered instead, loyalty in that way?

Differences in emotions especially joy

Shadow work, it’s even better to not eat much food or any at all when I’m processing emotions or thoughts

Inner landscape of emotions, like a painting joy to the left and dark negative and potential energy to the left like dark steady mountains

Self hate

That one day I’ll die, getting to be death and nothing