Seeking intoxication upon the feeling of lack

Disidentifying from my body-mind

Picking up litter and replacing it with crystals

I give out lots of pink energy but you know I really want it to find its way to me

If they're a girl I like cuddling them, massaging them and making them feel fuzzy. I like inspiring people and opening their crown chakras. I like making people laugh and feel at ease. I like to reveal rarities and mysteries to people. I like causing drastic positive changes. I like providing for and protecting people

I'll keep my morning habit of Neem & Turmeric consumption. I'll keep having baths instead of showers (until I get regular access to a river). To be honest I'd be happy for everything to change, there's nothing I can pinpoint right now that I'd want to leave as is for long. I would change my habits, I'd be an early morning riser, start the day with yoga but currently I am sleeping late and waking late, this I wish to overcome. I welcome a change in location and company, this has been long awaited. I want an upturn in my level of activity as well as physical and mental capability and sensory acuity. I wish for the strength to step out of my comfort zone. Also I wish to change my mental operation, tune down mental chatter, cease labelling things, stop judgement. End identification with mental process.

I took acid when I was 16 and during the offset of the trip I went into the void it was some form of samadhi I presume, I was completely empty and my body stood straight and well. There was a distance between me and my body, it obeyed my will but I felt to separate from it yet present with it. At that I decided I'm going to make meditation my number one priority in life and I vowed to return to that state. To this day I still pursue this aim (I'm 21 now)

That I seem to be on the right track at this young age. That my meditation is adding up, the lovely improvements I've made to my local area. My improvement in my relationship with my mother. The constant supply of fresh air or "good ass prana" if you will. My newfound interest in my yoga book. The moss that grows on stone. How much people like me. My cool screensavers.

My keen eye, my understanding, my ability to alter my image. My unique creativity. The sound of my voice. My height, great hair, sexy body and sensuality. My willingness to go the extra mile, my unique martial arts style. My intelligence. My sense of humour. My spiritual urges. My strength to walk alone and to stand firm in what I know. My varied knowledge. My ever-expanding people skills. My exceptional sense of style. My skill at poetry. My ability to be immune to things. My ability to accept things as they are. My honesty and bluntness. My ever increasing humility, my inginuity. How good I am at Plants Vs Zombies. My connection to the faery world. My ability to find excellent films.

The most poignant thing that I feel I don't know is what direction to invest my energies. What to do as a career. What my first step is. Every idea I have I only feel partially committed to, nothing has really grabbed me that I'm aware of

Self-realization

Being around people who I don't feel comfortable with. Or being around something that my mind labels as negative then it will drag me into superstition. To get out of this state I'll try and make myself question my resistance and see if I can release it which sometimes I can

I'd let it all burn because at that point it's time to start fresh.

Conscious behaviour and people. Social mechanics. Subtleties. The grand narrative of events. Nooks and crannies, unusual spaces. Colours. The underworld. Faery areas. Girl's butts. Honesty, deception. The elephant in the room. People's ways of interacting with the world. Unusual arrangements. Magical individuals positive and negative ones. Soul groups.

Compliments from people, living with good habits