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lightworker

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About lightworker

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  • Birthday 11/02/1975

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  1. lightworker

    New York Workshop 2019 - 2/2

    The woman with the two masks. I wonder how she is doing and if she was ever able to access that vulnerability and despair? She reminded me of my mom. I want her to be okay so desparately and her session triggered me because it reminded me of how my mom doesn't see me. Same dynamic. Except external. ALso internal for me, as I know my internal environment is abusive. I really loved her when she was vulnerable, Teal was right that that vulnerability is where she is most lovable. The protector part says "you don't know me and you never will" despite seeming gregarious and friendly. It feels off be
  2. lightworker

    New York Workshop 2019 - 2/2

    Have you tried asking it
  3. I'm seeing I have some impulsivity around food I might need to take care of. Perhaps I feel like I can't get nourishment from life. A problem with recieving? I will ask my self.
  4. LOL I impulsively ordered food from doordash yesterday and it was flavorless and soggy. LESSON LEARNED. though i did it again today so really, I suppose I might need to learn twice. this time the food was good but not good for me. and then I implusively went to the gas station with my roommate and spent money on junk food i won't eat just to spend time with her. perhaps I could have planned these things better. Next time, I will go with her and just let her know I like her company lol.
  5. lightworker

    79

    I overcompensate for the pain of rejection in my childhood by trying to be all things to all people. I overcompensate for the rejection of my femininity by becoming hyper feminine. I overcompensate for feeling and being invisible my whole life by being loud and outspoken.
  6. lightworker

    Consequences

    I love this question. I always assume it's my shit to deal with and deal with it however feels best in the moment.
  7. lightworker

    Consequences

    Ah wow I went into my futility last night too. It turned out to be deep emotional abandonment trauma and emotional isolation. It was one of the most intense shadow work processes I've ever done. But I say that now about all the processes I do. Things only keep getting more intense for me as I begin to heal deeper trauma.
  8. lightworker

    Consequences

    I just did a cp a few hours ago around deep emotional abandonment and isolation as well. I woke up feeling like shit and figured it was bc of that, plus the fact that I ate a bag of sour patch kids last night (lol) because it was intense. this video was quite affirming.
  9. It's been interesting to note the reactions people have to this concept. They take on the patriarchal, shadow definition of ownership (which is not really ownership but abuse) instead of feeling into the actual meaning of the word which is to take responsibility for the well being of something as your well being, which is love.
  10. I agree - the only reason I haven't gotten completely sick of it is the her video on being transgender is one of the best and most compassionate videos I've ever seen on the subject so I know she's not transphobic. I just wish she'd use language that was more inclusive and less focused on cishet romantic relationships. I tend to just take what applies in the way I want to apply it from her now, I don't think she means to not include non cis people, I think she generalizes on purpose to reach the largest audience and trigger people into expansion. To be fair, gender is one of the most tri
  11. lightworker

    Change Your Name?

    I'd pick Vanya because it's pretty.
  12. Like I love u and sometimes the things you say come across as purposefully antagonistic or misrepresent actual problems. Like this one. I don't know of anyone who says the genders are the same or wants them to be so this just doesn't hit, with most of the population that actually wants healthy chosen gender expression. I know of fringe 2nd wave feminists who feel this way but they're a minority so it seems like you're projecting a bit of your mother onto the world.
  13. You can't say something like this without acknowledging that gender is a spectrum and that gender roles are toxic unless chosen. Because sure genders are not the same but that's not what people are really saying or really want. People want to be able to choose their gender and gender roles without those things being forced onto us which is the problem.
  14. lightworker

    Depletion Shadow

    Did u miss the part where her whole shtick is the mental and emotional work moreso than crystals and excercise
  15. lightworker

    Support Network

    How can you find people though? Especially in times like this? I feel so isolated and alone and unsupported. I am living with "friends" but they are disconected emotionally and the relationships are empty and shallow. Trying to emotionally connect is unsafe with them. They don't have friends, and there are no events to meet people.
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