Ask Yourself...

dancing. 
meditating.

accomplishing some particular tasks.

When I look good. Also when I'm waking people up or showing them love they've never had before.  

1. Having my hair done.

2. Genuinely trying to understand others' perspectives.

3. Following thru on my word to myself & others.

Compliments from people, living with good habits

Starting a moneymaking business 

Having done something I set out to do, 

Climbing 🧗🏾‍♀️ 

Finding thingss, people and places that my heart resonates with and actually going towards them!

My ability to love

When I stand up for myself

I am able to connect with people. 

I am physically beautiful.

I am artistic. 

When I have a real good talk with people on deep emotional stuff & when I feel accepted by them.

I feel the best about myself when I know what i'm doing/talking about. I feel powerful when I can convey information/concepts/thoughts confidently , effectively, and beautifully. When I'm performing a task, the thrill for me is in getting it "right." Even thinking about perfecting/mastering something makes me smile. I also love it when my ideas "work," or produce a desired result.

When something I shared (that helped me), helped someone else (as well).
It makes me feel great when I have an idea in mind and I manage to actualize it.

PS Funny how my mind thought about the bad sides to each answer.

When i'm disseminating information. I love the expression of wonder on people's faces when im making them aware of something they never knew about before.

Taking good care of myself

When I’m in truth. 

So.e of the shit iv overcome 

Being brave to be truthful.

1.  Accomplishing a really difficult task

2. Giving advice that helps someone feel better

3. Singing and listening to music

4. Being present with my emotions

5. Expressing my opinions about something

Connecting with others fills me up and makes me feel fantastic about myself! 🙂

All the stuff I successfully accomplished so far in this lifetime…ain’t over yet either. 🙏🏻🥰

Taking the risk. Diving off the cliff to the unknown. Controlling my movement. Surviving. Feeling myself like a pile of shit but finding a way to understand the purpose of that pile.

There are moments when i get this euphoric rush out of now where and verge on the point of ecstacy.  I love that i can be an open conduit to this. I hope to repair the tare in my soul.

The long eyelashes of my son. Even if he looks like his father, I am the producer. 

(hahaha...*warning....this i do write essay long replies*....i guess i use this as my Q&A journal since i have been doing it for a while in real time)

What makes me feel great about myself?

Hmm,...my initial thought was....i don't know. I have to think about it.

...i'm thinking...

..hmm,..does anything make me feel great about myself... fuk...if i don't have an answer for this that is sad. Surely there must be something Katy. Have a longer deeper think....

Well i think because i don't feel great about myself that is an initial hindrance to the question.

..Have i ever felt great about myself?.. well i guess, yes. When i used to dance. More specifically when i had a routine nailed down and it was one i enjoyed that i could express alot of emotion in. When i knew/felt like i was doing well and had an audience or people watching ho could appreciate my expression.

In my adult life when have ever felt great about myself..apart from that? "Great about myself". That's a pretty specific phrase. There have been fleeting moments e.g. getting accepted after an audition into a course (which turned out to be hell). But other things of celebration have not been fully really for my sake. Yes i passed my driving test recently (late learner)...but it felt good, not great.. as it wasn't the motivation from myself but pressure from family. ffs.

Ahh jessus, seriously,....that's sad man, how can i not think of any other time "I have felt great about myself". Jeez....i think i need to work on self-esteem more than i realised. But also like....how can you feel great without achieving something. I mean would that not, for myself i feel like, have to come from achievement. ..? Hmm... i guess no actually it doesn't have too. I guess feeling great about oneself doesn't need to be conditional to 'achieving' something.

I mean the question "When do you feel great?" is different and maybe a bit easier to answer than "When do you feel great about oneself?"...

I am trying to think when the last time i genuinely felt this way was.

Oh wait i remember the last time- it was 2018!...................4 years ago............hmm....Katy...that makes me sad....i don't want you to go so long between spells of feeling great about yourself.....I am sorry you feel that way>not necessarily bad- but just never better than ok...Just a middle ground. Hm,, i guess that is much better than the majority of 13-28 when alot of that time- certainly not all- was self hating, self destructive.

Yes so i was saying, 2018. I took part in a fun Charity race with the Ladies from work. I loved it, the endorphins got flowing and i enjoy physicality,..or maybe used too enjoy it more before i started feeling pain in my body- my knees. But yea, such a high from that, and also i kept a good pace. Myself and a colleague broke of from the rest of the group who were taking it easy (all abilities could take part), and we ran together supporting each other in going forward. And i enjoyed supporting her, especially towards the end i was like someone you can do it!, we can do it!, we are nearly there! And then i said come on, and took her hand as we crossed the finish line together! (which for me is funny as i am competitive person, but we felt more like a team than two single people running with each other). Was such a good day. Felt great after the accomplishment. Keeping pace, only slowing to a walk once for a short time on an incline, to supporting each other to keep going, the high from the endorphins, the fresh air, pushing through the struggle of the body being pushed to its limits. And haha being the first two back from our workplace haha,..by quite a wee bit. #stillloveabitofcompetitionespeciallywheniamonthewiningedge ahha .

Okay well, i'll leave it there.

Except,..maybe i can think of what's one step i can take to help me "feel great about myself" going forward. Hm....hahah i was going to say more regular showers hahaha....

But i think i know what i need to do. Find one thing, any physical activity that i ENJOY and does not at this point harm my body e.g. injurious/hard on the knees and do it once a week. Hmm, i am already feeling resistance to this,...and now fear....because of past health things.....Hmm,,,, okay lets aim to start once a month i think Katy can help you to work on feeling good in your body and take it from there if you want to build on it. Which very highly likely as soon as i return to any form of fitness after a very long hiatus i will feel very strongly...(as a secondary- to spend money wilfully on a physio to assess things so can go forward with much more ease also).

But superseding all of the above in the last paragraph is i need to get out of here. I need to make sacrifices temporarily for the next few months to get out of this flat. Where you live can have a massive impact on your life. I find it difficult to make sacrifices especially when it comes to food choices etc. for financial reasons but, BUT Katy> it doesn't mean you need to eat cheap junk. There are ways around it, and you know that.

We are close> next month there will hopefully by then be enough to drop a deposit, first month, moving company. If i commit to the sacrifices. Short term pain long term gain..