I’m avoiding taking responsibility for myself because I don’t want to move forward in my life.
I wanna stay stagnant and feel comfortable where I am for once, because my mind is putting me through hell on a daily basis and it never gives me a break.
Sometimes I wish I was never born.
So I guess I’m avoiding healing myself as well because of this. Because I feel as if nothing matters either way, cuz who cares if person XYZ in 8 billion people even lives or not right? Who cares? Who even knows me? Who even really loves me? Not even I do.
All I do is cry and feel sorry for myself for not being good enough, for not making it ‘happen’ like other people do. I have done nothing, nothing, in my life, to measure up to what I wish I was considered as. Yet I feel like I must be what I wish I could do. But, again, who cares … why am I alive again?