Ellah

Master patience cuz I don’t have any

Damn hold on.. for starters I should probably drink more water. Then maybe I’m using the phone to much (for the wrong purposes, social media n whatnot). Most importantly though, although not currently, is to learn how to be easier on myself, especially after making mistakes.

I’m avoiding taking responsibility for myself because I don’t want to move forward in my life. I wanna stay stagnant and feel comfortable where I am for once, because my mind is putting me through hell on a daily basis and it never gives me a break. Sometimes I wish I was never born. So I guess I’m avoiding healing myself as well because of this. Because I feel as if nothing matters either way, cuz who cares if person XYZ in 8 billion people even lives or not right? Who cares? Who even knows me? Who even really loves me? Not even I do. All I do is cry and feel sorry for myself for not being good enough, for not making it ‘happen’ like other people do. I have done nothing, nothing, in my life, to measure up to what I wish I was considered as. Yet I feel like I must be what I wish I could do. But, again, who cares … why am I alive again?

The roof above my head. My family being healthy despite this clownid-19 agenda. My cat laying on her back with all fours in the air 😂 gotta love her

When something I shared (that helped me), helped someone else (as well). It makes me feel great when I have an idea in mind and I manage to actualize it. PS Funny how my mind thought about the bad sides to each answer.