My repeated failures at staying true to a routine leaves me feeling defeated slot of the time. With every failure comes a lesson but it feels as though these failures will last for a long time and I feel powerless to improve myself. 

Little hard to put into words...

Physically I am not in the location I want to be, but it doesn't bother me as much since I'm doing everything I can to move. I feel too good for my old time-filling distractions to be fitting anymore, but I don't yet have anything else to fill that place. I know I cannot rush things and trying to work harder will only leave me burnt out. 

It's just this weird space of knowing a transition is about to happen and being okay with the pace it happens at, but not having a thing to enjoy in my free time. Empty space ready to be filled with something new but the new thing isn't here quite yet. Emptiness isn't the emotion I'm feeling but there is a sense of "something should be here" 

I'm at a rather good place in life rn, all things considered, and it's about to get great. The in-between is... being noticed?

My partner does not fulfill me but he is also a really great person and I’m afraid no one will ever love me and want me as much as he does. However, he doesn’t defend me or stand up for me at all and he is a coward in many ways and it is a huge turn off for me. I also feel like I’m a lesbian not bisexual and I’m afraid to go back to dating girls because of past relationship issues and because I feel like I will disappoint my family again but I know I can only be romantically not sexually attracted to men. I’m not feeling the confidence it would take to make such a big change. I feel like I’m too old as well. I’m 26, I know that isn’t old but as a woman I feel like my time has passed for dating and now everyone prefers the 18-23 year old girls. I’m stuck and I feel like I may have to accept that I will just be alone potentially. 

No progression, no growth, aimless so I placate, not having a job that excites me, no being a part of a big thing

That I have been keeping myself small. Part of me wants to be seen and part of me wants to hide. I want to blossom like a psychedelic flower but I also fear the consequences of that. I've been seeing more of my true self and I think she's beautiful. I want to express my authenticity but I also don't want the attention on me and I'm afraid of making waves. Seeing a clear split here haha. I spend a lot of time relaxing and entertaining myself and I crave a life where I am more productive in creating things. I've been processing a lot of heavy emotions and needed more rest lately. I'm hoping as I work on alignment I'll get more creative energy flowing. If you read this, thank you

my life is a living hell--the only time i feel peace is when others are asleep, the only freedom i have is rebelling against everything i know. i have someone i love but im too scared to go see them. end of story

the unfortunate fact that i'm still breathing

I am basically a practitioner of western medicine and I am so unsatisfied with the results it provides to patients. There are no lasting solutions and everything is so superficial.

Wow, the second time that this presented. Ok,So, I feel unfulfilled in my relationships and I feel like I can't communicate my authentic self to people, and that I am always seeing them as separate on a pedestal or down in a ditch, I don't feel worthy of letting myself get attention and improve my social circle, like a school kid who always feels that she is not fit to talk to the cool kids and that it would be a waste of time talking to losers 

Self hate 

No good friends, no secure community, no healthy touch & intimacy, no support no interdependence. No freedom. Toxicity.

The roadblocks I experience along the path to the goals I’m working towards whether they’re health related or family related or even work related I don’t seem to be able to get to goals especially now

That I don't have a partner. I am a lone wolf by nature, but wish I could meet another person like me. Become a lone wolf pack of two lol

Being stuck in a relationship that grows at a snails pace. Being attracted to a man who is sometimes a boy. Loving this person who is complicated and who has mental issues and not having the tools to cope with that. Having euphoric moments with him and then having the opposite of that. Wanting to move on and the anxiety of leaving. Wanting more for myself, being trapped. Lying to myself. Making do with what I’ve got. Losing my spirit and dimming my authenticity for the sake of another. 
 

Geez that’s sad!!! (And depressing!) 

Glad I have Teal tho to help heal and guide.

The fact that i'm aimlessly floating through life. Like seriously...wtf am I doing here? Lol

Not having a romantic connection or relationship 

This question came in handy right now. 

I hate the fact that I'm living my life according to the 'shoulds' of those around me who are older and say that they know better than me. I'm miserable and completely isolated right now and I'm so close to tearing everything I've been doing to the ground because my current way of living doesn't reflect my authentic truth and want I actually want to do while being incarnated. 

PS. if you feel like it, reply to this comment because I could really use someone to talk to. 

Destructive criticism from me

On 11/10/2020 at 2:05 AM, Bobbie Dryden said:

My partner does not fulfill me but he is also a really great person and I’m afraid no one will ever love me and want me as much as he does. However, he doesn’t defend me or stand up for me at all and he is a coward in many ways and it is a huge turn off for me. I also feel like I’m a lesbian not bisexual and I’m afraid to go back to dating girls because of past relationship issues and because I feel like I will disappoint my family again but I know I can only be romantically not sexually attracted to men. I’m not feeling the confidence it would take to make such a big change. I feel like I’m too old as well. I’m 26, I know that isn’t old but as a woman I feel like my time has passed for dating and now everyone prefers the 18-23 year old girls. I’m stuck and I feel like I may have to accept that I will just be alone potentially. 

I’m wondering how you’re doing, always stay true to yourself, doesn’t matter who you’ll disappoint because  at the other side there always relies some peace & freedom for yourself 

I'm feeling like I'm not living the life I'm supposed to, and haven't met people with whom I'm supposed to be with. Haven't found a way, being lost. Losing time & spending a lifetime without experiencing true love.

- my own thoughts

- the past

- past relationships

- wounds from these relationships

- lonelyness

- stress

- cold-heartedness and criminal oportunistic nature of people

- my actual personal truth Im gaining through my current and recent experiences ( Im actually ignoring it the best I can) Cause I dont know how to handle it or how it would change me. I feel like afraid of my own personal truth. ( I feel like if I actually acknowledge my own truth it will hurt so much, it will turn me into a psychopath)

On 12/18/2020 at 11:06 PM, christine96liu said:

my life is a living hell--the only time i feel peace is when others are asleep, the only freedom i have is rebelling against everything i know. i have someone i love but im too scared to go see them. end of story

update: I moved halfway across the world to be with this person, and we're very happy. There have been so many adventures i have had and so many wonderful people I have met (including teal!)

I feel much happier and content in my life, I hardly recognize the person who wrote the comment above...sending much love to everyone!!  (especially old me^)

On 4/19/2022 at 12:41 AM, christine96liu said:

update: I moved halfway across the world to be with this person, and we're very happy. There have been so many adventures i have had and so many wonderful people I have met (including teal!)

I feel much happier and content in my life, I hardly recognize the person who wrote the comment above...sending much love to everyone!!  (especially old me^)

Wow!

Feeling very disconnected to people, and having accumulated so much crap in my life that I don’t really know how to interact with anything or anyone. I’ve gathered waaaaaaay too many entanglements.

lack of a thriving social life, no boundaries or a defined sense of self in which I feel valued, worthy, strong, open, and in the flow with. Perpetual nice girl syndrome. I really lack of a strong sense of self, in short. 

I don't like how my aggressive side has dominated my soft side. I am sad because i drop people very easily,  and am afraid that i will do it to my duaghter.