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Ellieaj

Premium Member - Yearly
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  1. Ellieaj

    47

    My hidden agenda is to magically get what I want without putting in any work towards it. I want everything to come to me and I don't have to do anything to get it.
  2. Ellieaj

    92

    I am currently afraid of dying while I still feel so unknown to the world. I want to know myself and I want people to know who I am and what I'm about.
  3. Ellieaj

    25

    Where I'm staying rn is lovely and an improvement from the last place, I feel so much potential for my growth and healing in this life, I'm happy to be me. I think I'm cute. My inner child is sweet and adorable and wonderful. I just want to work towards creating stability and finding my joy and purpose. I have the eternal passion sigil tattooed on my arm, it's my newest tattoo and I feel so grateful that I got it during a time when I had the money to do so the other day my car broke down and I was stuck on the road in a right turn lane just before an intersection, bawling and not knowing what to do thinking no one would help me, but someone did! He even brought me water, pretzels and Gatorade. A few other people driving by also asked if I needed help which I really appreciated. I've been seeing angel numbers more lately which I love, it feels so comforting to me. I've also been able to see some beautiful places I had never been to before. Someone was burning sage outside earlier and it smelled nice and helped ease my mind. I have tiger's eye under my pillow, Teal is doing workshops again, I feel hopeful that I will be able to tap into more creativity over time as I integrate my trauma, I have a 528 hz tuning fork that I got for a really cheap price a while back. My friend who I had a painful falling out with liked my post, so maybe he doesn't hate me. Synchronicity is pretty cool, I could see the Milky Way the other night, I had good coffee today!
  4. Ellieaj

    68

    I would believe in myself and be softer with myself. I would encourage myself to make consistent efforts towards my goals without beating myself up when I fail to reach my unrealisticly high standards for someone who is a beginner at learning a skill.
  5. Ellieaj

    66

    That people won't understand me/will reject me
  6. Ellieaj

    56

    Prioritizing connection
  7. Ellieaj

    4

    Finding what gives me a sense of purpose, aligning with self love, having safe relationships
  8. Ellieaj

    33

    I would wish for abundance in all areas of life
  9. Ellieaj

    66

    That the universe is not on my side, that things won't work out the way I want.
  10. Ellieaj

    35

    Edit to my last post: I just realized that the reason I fail to implement new routines in my life is that I expect too much too soon and then get overwhelmed and quit. So with this in mind I am going to start by creating a drawing once a week not every day
  11. Ellieaj

    35

    Losing that art competition as a kid. Damn that really had me believing I'm not good enough, not talented enough, that I will fail in my artistic pursuits. And I haven't been disciplined at all in developing my skills since I left college. Feels like so much wasted time. And yet I'm sitting here still afraid to start, thinking "what's the point? It won't get me anywhere." Still doubting my abilities and at the same time I know drawing is what I'm talented at but I never practice. Why have I been avoiding it? My avoidance is making it so that I will never improve. That's obvious now that I'm writing this but I have had such an aversion to drawing because of the pain of my insecurities that I haven't even been thinking about it lately, even though there have been SO many obvious signs telling me that art is my calling. Wow okay. Now that I'm aware of this I just need to follow through and make changes. Idk why it feels so hard to discipline myself outside of the context of a classroom and create consistency in my life. I think I've just been holding on to a lot of self doubt and not believing in myself. Okay it's time to do something different cause I can't ignore this. I am afraid but I am going to take a step in the direction of pursuing art, starting with creating a daily routine to practice drawing. I don't know where it will lead but I've got to start somewhere.
  12. Ellieaj

    10

    Loving. Confident. Dedicated.
  13. Ellieaj

    11

    What the future holds
  14. Ellieaj

    20

    She would be disappointed by the monotony and suffering in our life. She would want us to love ourselves and go towards our desires and prioritize our happiness.
  15. Ellieaj

    13

    Write poems
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