In relationships, our differences are like unique flavors that are complementary to the overall flavor of the whole dish. A beautiful relationship is one that involves both autonomy and connection.
Sometimes, we struggle with this concept. We lose ourselves in relationships and begin to perceive the relationship to be inhibiting to our freedom or swallowing of our identity. To enhance your awareness around this concept, I want you to watch two of my videos on YouTube. The first is “How To Develop Healthy Boundaries” and the second is “I Han Have Me and I Can Have You Too”. But sometimes, our struggle for independence and freedom within a relationship leads us to create real problems in our relationships.
On a vibrational level, as spiritual energy incarnated into a physical human perspective in this particular time space reality, we mush be a vibrational match to the people who we come together with in our life. This is the most true of our primary partnership, which is usually an exclusive romantic one. As we progress through life, we give birth to desires and those desires call us forward into our expansion. This forward progression causes change. In order to stay a match to people in our reality, we must change and progress in tandem. If we begin to vibrate at a different frequency and desire different things, we will eventually be led in different directions. This does not work for a partnership. It means the partnership will end. To understand more about this, watch my video on YouTube titled: “The Catch Up Effect, The Real Reason We Fear Change.”
What does this mean? It means quite simply that if we want our relationships to continue long term and if we want to feel good in our relationships, we have to BE ON THE SAME PAGE. When I counsel couples, every conflict I see boils down to this simple thing. The two people involved in the relationship are not on the same page. The differences between their perspectives and desires and therefore thoughts and actions about a subject are causing a wide vibrational gap to form between them.
In a relationship, it doesn’t matter whether one person likes chocolate ice cream and the other likes vanilla. There are a lot of differences of opinion that have no impact on a relationship. However, there are also a lot of differences of opinion that have severe impact on a relationship; things like one person wanting an open relationship and the other wanting an exclusive relationship. These are differences that if not reconciled, will cause an end to the relationship. These are genuine incompatibilities. And the real stress and pressure that is felt in a relationship is about these incongruences.
I’m going to break it to you in this way... In the world today, tolerance of differences is a social value. We love to say, “Agree to disagree” as if it is some enlightened form of acceptance. But it is not, it is nothing more than an unwillingness to try to really understand each other and find common ground. And guess what? Agreeing to disagree about things that have real impact on the choices you make today and thus your direction and thus your future, does not work in relationships. On a vibrational level, it is relationship suicide. It’s like saying to your partner, “Agree to disagree, so you go towards Japan and I’ll go towards Mexico and we can have a partnership from there”. It’s not going to be sustainable. This is why assessing compatibility is such a critical part of dating and forming friendships. And staying in a situation where you are putting up with being on a different page in a way that is causing you pain, is nothing more than endurism. To understand more about this concept, watch my video on YouTube titled: Endurism (The Flip Side Of Escapism).
If you are in pain in a relationship, I guarantee you it is because you are not on the same page. You’re trying to stay together despite the fact that there is a vibrational gap between you. You are in pain in the same way that you would be if you were trying to hold on to two sides of a canyon over a crevasse and the canyon was growing wider and wider and you were being ripped in half as a result. And the only hope of salvaging this relationship so it gets less painful is to get on the same page or part ways.
So what does it mean to be on the same page? It means being in alignment with one another so you are side by side, headed in the same direction. It means reaching agreement. It does not mean one of you gives into the other. It means you do anything you can do to find a meeting of minds so that both of you reach understanding, some kind of agreement and feel good about the direction you are headed. And this requires lots of effective and ongoing communication.
As people, we are in a state of constant flux. We change. And we cannot simply change our mind or our direction and expect our partner to be on the same page as us. Yet, this is what we do so often. We have very poor skills when it comes to resolving differences. We tend to swing to either ends of the scale. Either we give in and silently resent the other person and punish them in passive aggressive ways or we defiantly do whatever we want regardless of whether or not the other person is in agreement. This causes our partner to not trust us and feel abused by us.
What we have to get is that there is another option. To each become very sure of “where we are” emotionally and mentally and what we want so we can communicate it to each other. Then, we seek to find agreement that does not require sacrifice. We seek to find agreement that will feel good to both people.
The beauty of the fact that partners need to be in agreement to stay together is actually universally genius. It forces us to become aware. It forces us to have to expand our mentality and look outside the box so as to find alternatives that are potentially even better than either person had in mind to begin with. This is why it can be a great idea to involve outside perspectives in the attempt to get on the same page. People who are external to the relationship often see alternatives and solutions that both people involved were blind to.
It’s really important to realize that when most people say compromise, they really mean sacrifice what you don’t really want to sacrifice. This kind of compromise never works. It’s no better than agreeing to disagree. You cannot give up something that is important to you and accept what you do not want to accept. This only leads to emotional tension in the relationship and resentment. So, when you are trying to get on the same page in a relationship, don’t think about compromise. Don’t think about both of you giving up something important to you for the sake of the relationship. Think about trying to find a way that works for both of you where neither of you has to give up anything that is important to you. The point of trying to understand each other and see a disagreement from different perspectives is that just the act of doing this can actually change our point of view on the subject so we inevitably make different choices and go a different direction.
Sometimes, when our partner shares his or her perspective, we actually see that their perspective feels more right to our hearts and so we get on the same page as they are on. Other times, they see that our perspective is actually more in alignment and so they get on the same page that we are on. Other times, we both get onto a totally new page, but in alignment with one another. And other times, we find that what feels true and right to our hearts is to be on different pages and end the union in our physical life embodiment. We must allow for all of these potential outcomes when we set out to get on the same page with each other. But if it is a desire to stay together, it is more likely that the universe is simply using you both as a means to create expansion in you both and so, by intentionally finding a meeting of minds, you will get on the same page.
So, first identify what aspects of your life or subjects you are on a different page about where being on a different page is causing you pain. And then, here are some tips for getting on the same page with the person in your life who is on a different page.
Express to the person that you think you are on different pages about something and tell them what that something is. Then, express your need to get on the same page about it and why that is a need of yours. It’s important to make this conversation be one where the style of communication is not attack and defense. It needs to be one that gives both you and them a positive, solution oriented feeling. From there, you both have to agree to sit down with the intention of getting on the same page. Chances are, they will be up for it because they are just as uncomfortable as you are about being out of alignment with each other.
When trying to reach a consensus, you have to enter into the conversation genuinely wanting to find a meeting of minds rather than to win or give in. It is important to not abandon yourself and really speak your authentic truth, while simultaneously allowing the other person the space for their authentic truth. The goal at first is to fully understand each other.
This is where you put forth your perspective. Often I suggest to people to separately write down their perspective about the situation. Essentially, I have each person become very, very clear about what page they are currently on. Then, both parties come together and begin by sharing what they have written down. The most important aspect of this exercise is to become crystal clear about what you each want in this situation and what you each need in this situation. Then communicate that to each other. Ask as many questions of each other as you can so as to enhance both of your awareness about the situation.
The goal in our minds must be finding a solution or option that meets both of our needs instead of compromise. It needs to be a win win. In fact, if you put it like that, you can understand the energy of being on the same page. Both parties have to feel like they have won by agreeing. And if being on the same page means making any concessions, you must make sure that the concession is one you are genuinely ok with giving. If it isn’t, you’ll be on the same page for 3 seconds before you end up on different pages again and so the exercise will have been useless. So we then brainstorm different options that could bring us together in agreement. If need be, we involve other people in this process so we can see alternative perspectives and alternative solutions.
For anyone who is interested in some really great tools to use to resolve a conflict between people, I did a video titled: “How To Resolve Conflict” available through YouTube.
Relationships are the heart of our expansion here on earth. If we are suffering in a relationship, it isn’t complicated; it’s really this simple… you’re not on the same page at this red-hot minute. And if we want to maintain these relationships in a way that feels good, it’s really this simple… make an effort to get on the same page.
Life today is complicated. It is so complicated that you will be hard pressed to meet someone who isn’t completely overwhelmed with it. It can start to feel like you are stuck in perpetual angst. You feel pulled in all different directions. The pressure keeps mounting. Life feels unfulfilling. It is at this point that you need to purify your life. And the way to do that is to realize that even though life is complicated, it is also incredibly simple. It is as simple as figuring out what you value and living unconditionally according to those values. You’ve got to prioritize in your life according to your values no matter what.
What is a value? It is what you consider from your honest, authentic core to be most important. Deep inside your heart, what do you really want? Your values are about how you want to be in the world relative to others and to yourself, what you want to do and how you want to go about doing it. When the things we do and the way we behave in the world towards others and towards ourselves match our values, we experience simple contentment. The complications fall away as we purify and streamline or lives in the direction of our true desires.
For most of us, there is a big difference between what we value doing and what we are actually doing, how we value acting and how we actually act. We feel like something is just wrong but don’t know exactly what and so we don’t know what to do about it. If we value spending time connecting with our family, but we work a 70 hour work week, we are not living according to our values. If we value being creative and artistic, but take a job in accounting, we are not living according to our values. If we value being useful to others and doing something of meaning, but sit on the couch binge watching TV, we are not living according to our values. If we value pouring all of ourselves into the pursuit of an achievement, but we quit pursuing our goals for the sake of taking care of someone in our life, we are not living according to our values.
The people who are happy on this earth, are the people who are actually doing what they value doing and acting how they value acting. They do not have the experience of being pulled in many different directions because they know their values enough to be able to prioritize according to those values and let the chips fall where they may. Life will seem much more simple because you will know exactly what decisions to make in your life as long as you are clear about your values.
The hardest part about defining your values (so as to live according to them), is to be brutally honest with yourself about what your actual values are. We live in a society that tells us some values are more acceptable than others. Some values make you good, while other values make you selfish and bad. In other words, you’ve been raised to think some values are right and some are wrong. This invalidation of our actual values (and subsequent true priorities) is what caused us to get out of touch with our actual values. To actually live according to our values, we need to be willing to consider that we may actually have values that we have been conditioned to believe are not acceptable to have in comparison to other values. This is especially true when we are expected to self-sacrifice. Essentially, other people expect us to have the same values that they have and thus prioritize according to those priorities.
Value conflicts are the main cause of incompatibility in couples. They are responsible for a huge number of the breakups you see happening in the world. Obviously if we are in a relationship and if values are reflective of our true desires, and our true desires are taking us in opposite directions, towards opposite ends, there is no way to keep the relationship together. The conflict will just keep mounting until there is a rupture beyond repair. This is why it’s so critical to figure out your values and to find a partner whose values are consistent with your own. I think this should in fact be the most important part of dating websites.
Values are not the same as goals. A goal is something that is achieved and then it’s done. Values are about something important that is ongoing. It is something you keep doing for as long as you hold that value, potentially for the rest of your life, as opposed to something that gets crossed off your list once it is achieved. For example, achieving a gold medal win at the Olympics is a goal, not a value. But achieving as an ongoing principal is a value. But there’s noting wrong with goals, in fact your goals can be a good way to figure out what your actual priorities are.
You have values relative to every sector of your life. You have values relative to work, values relative to friendships, values relative to marriage, values relative to parenting, values relative to personal growth, values relative to spirituality, values relative to leisure and the list goes on and on.
So how do you figure out your values? I have some questions here for you to answer…
Looking back at your life: When were you the absolute happiest and why? What were you doing, what factors contributed the most to your happiness? When were you the most proud of yourself and why? When did you experience the most fulfillment and meaning and why?
Looking at your life now: What situation makes you the unhappiest and why? What desire or need is missing from your life now? What part of your life now makes you feel the happiest and why? What provides the most meaning and what makes you feel the most proud and the most fulfilled in your current life?
Look at each aspect of your life and ask yourself, what personal qualities do I want to bring to this aspect of my life? How would I behave and what would I do if I were the ideal version of myself relative to this aspect of my life?
Looking at your future: If you could design the perfect life for yourself, what would it look like? What would you be getting out of your life being that way? What is the best part of your ideal future life, the part that matters the very most to you? What would make you the most proud, feel the most fulfilled and give your life the most meaning and why?
Ideally, you could design a life where you are able to make space for all your various values. You could engage in one value, without taking away from another value. But values are all about clarifying our prioritization. They dictate what we decide to do and not do.
This universe, being a time space reality of growth, loves to gain self-awareness through making you choose between top priorities. It loves to put you in a pinch where you have to decide what you really want. And if you don’t make this choice consciously, you will make it subconsciously. The problem is, the subconscious often prioritizes what provides safety as opposed to what provides the most personal fulfillment. So, you run the risk of losing something that is actually the most important to you by not consciously acknowledging this is your number one value and therefore priority and making life choices accordingly. For this reason, when we are looking at our values, we need to ask ourselves, “If I could only satisfy one of these values, which one would I choose?” If you don’t know what your true values are, life will teach you. Unfortunately, it likes to do so through the school of hard knocks. It will put you in all kinds of painful situations so you can figure out what you don’t want and consequently, highlight what you do want with glaring color.
You need to prioritize your top values and when push comes to shove, prioritize your number one core value above all others. Now is the time to take a look at your life and to be really honest about how you are not living in alignment with your top value or values. From here, it’s about deciding how to live in alignment with your actual values. It’s about asking what changes you could make today to do that. When you decide what steps to take in order to live in alignment with your goal, break those into even tinier steps and then, follow through.
When you are looking at your top values, ask yourself if these values feel true for you. Do they cause you to feel integrity? Can you proudly proclaim them to others and would you support these values even if they come with consequences or conflict with the values others expect you to have?
People ask me all the time how I deal with so much opposition and pressure in my career. The answer is simple, I decided long ago; after a suicide attempt in my teens in fact that nothing was ever worth living out of alignment with my true values. In my career, I am living according to my values and so I am willing to face the consequences and impact of living according to those values because anything is better than not doing so. It gives me a very strong core.
Sometimes values are a bit confusing when we decide that we value feeling a certain way or having a certain kind of person in our life or achieving a specific goal. When this is the case, you can ask the following questions:
Perhaps you decide you want to feel a certain way. Such as be happy. Ask yourself, If I did feel happy, then what would I do differently than I am doing today? What would I be doing more of or less of?
Perhaps you decide you want a certain kind of person or friend or romantic partner. Ask yourself, if I did have this kind of person in my life, how would I act or what would I do in the relationship? What qualities would I want to bring into the relationship? What steps could I take on my side to line up with that person?
Perhaps you have a specific goal you want to achieve. If this is the case, you just have to ask yourself, what am I trying to get out of meeting this goal? Or what is this goal in service of?
Determining your core values is the most important part of becoming aware of your values. Your core values are the absolute deepest values you have. They work similarly to core beliefs. They are at the root of all other values. To find these, we need to ask ourselves, what would this value mean to me? For example, if a value I have is making money and I ask myself what would making money mean to me? The answer may be freedom. Freedom is a core value of mine. I then make choices in my life in accordance with freedom. Or say spending time with my partner is a value, if I ask what would spending time with my partner mean to me? The answer is connection. Connection is a core value of mine. I then make choices in my life in accordance with connection. And if this core value is my top value, everything else in my life comes second to connection. We can take this deeper and deeper if we choose. For example, I could ask what would connection mean to me? Only to find that there is a value even deeper than connection such as belonging.
Strong emotions are always connected to a core value, which is why being really upset is a perfect time to really center in on our core values. The situation we are in, where we are really upset, is essentially threatening one of our core values. So use those times that you get triggered to really become clear about your core values. Look closely at how your life is not being lived in accordance with your core values!
Changing your life to live according to your priorities involves a lot of risk. It is a message to the universe about your actual commitment and where you are actually choosing to put your energy. It is a message to the universe that you are so committed to your value that you are willing to lose things that you are attached to that do not compare to your top value. And the universe will respond by falling into alignment with out top value.
It is very easy to put off acting in accordance with your values because of the risk involved. For example, say your value is spending time connecting with your romantic partner, but you think that to do that you have to make enough money to be able to quit your job and do that. This situation requires that you live out of alignment with your values today, working constantly to make enough money to quit, so you can live in alignment with that value one day in the future. This does not work. There is no true future in this universe. There is only now. The universe responds to your prioritizing in alignment with your values today. Do today as you would do in the future. That is the only way the future will look different and be the one that actually reflects your genuine values. And there must be no conditions set on living in alignment with your values. No exceptions. If of course you want to live a happy life.
Values may change over the course of your life. So you must let them change and let your life change accordingly. Living unconditionally in alignment with your true values is a lifelong practice. Meaning it never ends. It is the north star of our life. They are the foundation of who you are and what you stand for. Don’t try to talk people into having the same values as you have, just find people who already integrally have the same values. Because living in alignment with your core values is a scary change, I encourage you to watch my video on YouTube titled: The Catch Up Effect, The Real Reason We Fear Change. It is my promise to you, that even though it is frightening, you will never do more service to your life by doing anything than you will by changing your life so as to live in perfect alignment with your priorities today. So don’t let anyone talk you out of your core values. Knowing them and living by them is the difference between just going through the motions and really living.
For so many thousands of years, infidelity has been so closely linked to immorality that it’s difficult to have a conscious conversation about it. It is such a hot button subject that you can almost feel the hair standing up on people’s arms when the subject even comes up.
For those of us who have been cheated on, the experience of being cheated on causes wounds that leave us bitter and distrusting. For those of us who have cheated on our partner, the experience of cheating makes us feel ashamed of ourselves and condemned. Hardly anything else that we can do to each other creates more relationship insecurity. We walk into all subsequent relationships with that relationship insecurity. And the biggest part of that relationship insecurity is that we do not understand what causes people to cheat. Knowing what causes people to cheat, allows us to understand what we can do to prevent it.
I am going to progress throughout the rest of this video with the assumption that cheating means two people have both previously agreed to an exclusive romantic and sexual relationship and thus cheating is a betrayal of that agreement.
Most of us get into relationships because we desire to feel the security and consistency of connection. We often call this love. Also, many of our emotional needs are satisfied by having this consistent, secure connection. In order to feel loved, we have to see that these emotional needs are being considered and consistently met by our partner. Sorry to break it to you, you are not a one-person show. Many of the emotional needs you have, require another person or thing to be in relationship to, regardless of what you’ve been taught by spiritual people who profess the highly wounded egoic idea of being all things unto yourself.
This is a bit tricky because some of our emotional needs seem contradictory. For example, we have the need for autonomy and also the need for unity. And so much of the struggle in relationships is in fact about this conflict between seemingly opposing needs. To understand more about this, watch my video on YouTube titled: “I Can Have Me and I Can Have You Too”.
We have been telling the lie that cheating is all about poor self-control or about lust. Well guess what? Cheating is not about those things at all. We’ve been telling the lie that if a person loves you, they will never ever cheat on you and so if they cheat, it’s because they don’t love you. Again, this is not true at all. To understand more about this concept, watch my video on YouTube titled: “Endurism”. We’ve been telling the story that the person who cheats is the bad guy and the person who is cheated on is the victim. Again, this is not the full picture. So, knowing that everything we’ve been telling ourselves about cheating is a lie, what is the truth about cheating?
We cheat because our emotional needs aren’t being met in our current relationship. It is literally as simple as that. For example, one person may feel like they are losing themselves in a relationship and so they need to feel a sense of their own autonomy. By cheating, they are able to feel sovereign and strengthen their sense of separate self. Or another person might start to feel lonely and worthless in a relationship. By cheating, they are able to feel attractive and thus better about themselves and also feel the emotional connection they are being starved of by their partner. Knowing that cheating is a way of getting emotional needs met, it is easy then to see how cheating could become chronic or habitual. It could turn into an addiction such as sex and love addiction or porn addiction to help someone escape their feeling of inner emptiness and isolation. For more information about this, watch my video on YouTube titled: “How To Overcome Porn Addiction”.
Look back at the situations you’ve been involved in relative to cheating and try to see what unmet need you were trying to meet by cheating. Here’s an example. I remember cheating on a guy when I was teenager. At this time, he was a golden child who had everything good in life and loved life and I was the black sheep who couldn’t stop being hurt and who hated life. I began to feel less and less understood by him. My need to feel understood and seen and heard and felt turned into isolation every time he’d tell me to just lighten up and tell me I was just too negative. Eventually, I met a guy in anger management class who was an orphan and obviously in pain. He hated life just as much as I did because life treated him bad too. I ended up cheating on my boyfriend (even though I loved him more than anything) with this new guy because doing so, made me feel seen and heard and understood and as if I actually had some company where I was at. It made my sense of isolation disappear for a time. My needs were not being met within the relationship I had previously committed to.
I also remember being cheated on in my 20s. I was in a really dark space at the time and I had a habit of criticizing my partners. Gradually, the guy I was with started to feel less and less respected by me. His self-esteem went way down when he was with me. Eventually, he cheated on me. And years later he confessed that he just felt like he needed to feel respected and good about himself. He cheated on me with a girl who felt “over the moon excited” to be with him. He didn’t love her, but she showered him with compliments. His needs were not being met within the relationship.
I will say it again; cheating rarely has anything at all to do with loving or not loving a person. It has to do with emotional needs not being met. Does this mean cheating is good? Again, this is a debate over right and wrong or good and bad, which is futile. I’d rather say cheating is best avoided because it hurts both people. It causes suffering to the cheater and the cheated on. But so does just putting up with your needs not being met consistently. This is endurism. And there is something you can do to prevent both cheating and relationship endurism. That thing, is communicating.
Cheating does not happen in an atmosphere of effective communication. We need to become aware of what our needs are (especially the ones that are going unmet) and we need to voice our needs to our partner. We need to become aware of our partner’s needs (especially the ones that are going unmet) and from there, we need to discuss a way to meet both our needs and our partner’s needs within the context of the relationship. We need to have these crucial conversations the minute that the warning signs come up. And guess what, we need to be tuned into our partner enough to notice these warning signs. Also, communication doesn’t just happen in the form of talking.
In partnerships, we make bids for affection. For example, we may inch up close to our partner or crack a joke or do their laundry or do any number of things that essentially say, “I want to connect”. We often totally miss these bids. If we do notice them, we either intentionally ignore them, turn against them or turn towards them. Let’s say our partner buys us flowers as a bid for connection. We could ignore the bid completely and not acknowledge the flowers. We could turn against the bid by getting angry at him for doing it. Or we could turn towards the bid by thanking him for it and admiring the flowers. We have a way of telling our partners about our unmet needs through these bids. The relationships that make it, are the ones where partners notice and turn towards their partner’s bids.
I will warn you that sometimes, when we are open about our needs within a relationship, we find that our values are incompatible. For example, one person needs and values openness and the other needs and values privacy. This incompatibility makes a relationship not possible because there is no reasonable way to meet one partner’s needs in a way that feels comfortable to the other. We get to choose at this point to sacrifice our needs and values for the sake of the relationship (I have never seen this work long term) or break up.
If a partner is not willing to try to make the relationship work by finding ways to meet your needs and by voicing their needs, you are in an abusive or a one sided relationship and this also means you are with a partner who is not committed and is therefore not workable and you need to consider breaking up. I realize this is easier said than done. But you cannot have a need and not meet that need. To understand more about this, watch my YouTube video titled: “Meet Your Needs.”
All this being said, the vast majority of the time we will find that our needs and values are in fact compatible and there are ways to meet both partner’s needs within the relationship so both partners feel fulfilled and secure. And we need to have this conversation and keep on having it way before cheating presents itself as an option. Cheating is a last resort in relationships. It usually means the emotional tension has been high and people have been dissatisfied in the relationship for a really long time. Keep in mind that fidelity itself is a big issue in relationships and we often walk into relationships assuming we have the same definition of infidelity, when we do not. So this is also a conversation we need to have with our partner before entering into relationships. To understand more about this, watch my YouTube video titled: “Fidelity and Infidelity in Relationships”. When our needs aren’t being met, we tend to be less vocal instead of more vocal and this is the same as signing a relationship death warrant.
You need to know yourself in order to communicate yourself to your partner. Let’s assume you had to give a speech all about slime mold today on the spot. Chances are you’d be a terrible communicator about slime mold because you don’t know the first thing about it. So become an expert on yourself. Become an expert on your desires, your values, your needs, your truths and your authentic self. Then share these things with your partner. Your partner wants this information. Chances are what is driving them crazy is the confusion that is coming as a result of not knowing these things. And if you need help having this conversation, involve a trusted third party to do so. Choose someone who is not going to be biased towards one person’s needs or another, but who is instead going to help you communicate both your needs and find a way where you can meet them collectively.
The betrayal of cheating may not be justified. It is still the person’s choice to take the action, instead of to communicate their needs and figure out either how to meet them, or how to end the relationship. But knowing that unmet needs are the motivators for cheating helps us to know what we need to be continually focused on and fine-tune in our relationship so we can create an atmosphere of relationship security instead of emotional unsafety.
How many of you have heard the saying “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger?” Or “No pain, no gain?” Or how about “It is what it is?” These sayings all have one thing in common. They help you to release resistance to a situation where you feel helpless to get out of a painful situation.
Releasing resistance is a good thing. So where is the harm in these sayings? The harm is that they can serve as justifications for not actively making changes so as to move beyond a painful situation. They can serve to keep you stuck in pain.
We know the danger of escapism. We know the pain of being around a fair weather friend. We feel the frustration of spiritual bypassing. Many of us have a fairly good grasp at this point about the fact that running away from pain and from things that scare us is not the way to create a fulfilling life. But we need to be aware that there is danger at the other side of the scale as well. There is danger in becoming attached to pain, unwilling to leave it. I have decided to name this danger “Endurism”. Endurism is equally as unhealthy as escapism. It is a coping strategy. It is a coping strategy for dealing with the perception that we are helpless to get our needs met. But it is a coping strategy that ensures you will spend you life coping with a painful life instead of creating life you enjoy.
We live in a world full of super mixed messages. Our current society is all about avoiding pain and being happy happy happy. Just look at the way we deal with negative emotions in ourselves and others. Just take a look at our consumer products and you will see this. And yet, on the other hand, we live in a world that glorifies struggle and pain and suffering. All the medals and trophies go to the people who struggle and self sacrifice and who take pain upon themselves in various ways. We believe there is serious virtue in suffering.
The various religious and spiritual communities around the world take this to a whole other dimension by virtue of their addiction to goodness and rightness. We stay in situations and perpetuate situations that are causing us pain so we can feel like we are good and doing what’s right. It’s a dull and ongoing form of martyrdom. There is an element of endurism in every codependent relationship.
And within the law of attraction communities, we are often so aware that escapism doesn’t work that we swing the pendulum to the complete opposite side of the scale. We know it doesn’t work to try to take actions to make change that are not first backed by changes in thought. But we often get stuck there. We forget that in the physical dimension action is actually part of the change process. It may be the second step, but it is a step we must eventually take. We tell ourselves there’s nothing we can actually do about a situation because we are a match to it. So we will just learn how to allow it and trust that the universe will eventually take it away and take that action step for us. In reality, part of the path of improving your vibration will involve literally taking actions that are in alignment with improvement. Sometimes taking the change action is in fact the only way to increase your frequency further.
In endurism, we are in fact escaping something. That something is the fear of making a change and the responsibility required to actually make that change. Our ego fears that by making the change that will enable us to progress and reach our joy, we will become a bad person and therefore lose connection with the people and things we want to be connected to. For more about this concept, watch my video on YouTube titled: The Catch Up Effect, the real reason we fear change.
Let’s peel back the layers and look at yet another angle of this issue. When we are young, what we want is for someone to love us unconditionally. We want them to be connected with us no matter whether we are feeling negative emotion or positive emotion. But what actually happens? People don’t unconditionally love us and they demonstrate that their connection to us is contingent upon us feeling good. To understand more about this, watch my video called “The Emotional Wakeup Call”. Anyway, I have very little patience for the way that people shame this wound and subsequent desire with sayings like “misery likes company”. Misery likes company because it needs company. Take a look at how this is true of your own suffering.
When we have this wound, we develop the idea that if someone loves us, they will endure any amount of pain to be with us. Essentially, we all desperately want someone to say “I’d rather be in pain and with you than happy without you”. In fact, over the course of our relationship, we begin to incrementally cause them pain and put them in painful situations with us. We are doing this subconsciously but deliberately to try to create the experience of someone loving us so much that they will endure anything to be with us. We want the opposite of a fair weather partner. We want something secure and reliable. We expect them to endure pain for our sake and for the sake of our connection. We have been taught that this is love. In other words, edurism is undeniably linked to love for many of us. But it is at this point that our partner says, “Wait a minute, no… If you loved me, you wouldn’t want me to be in pain or expect me to be in pain or cause me pain or put me in situations that cause me pain. You’d take the pain away or rescue me from it”. And low and behold, a relationship stand off begins.
And now let’s peel back the layers even further. When we were young, we were absolutely powerless to our parents and caregivers. This means, if we were in pain or had a need or desire, we were dependent on them to remedy the pain or meet the need. And what do we find? All too often, our parents gave us the message “sorry kid, there is nothing I can do about it, you’re just gonna have to put up with it.” We were not enabled to brainstorm ways to actually improve the situation or meet our needs or reach our desires or find alternatives to doing what we don’t want to do. We learn because of the situation we grow up with that we just have to put up with feeling unsafe or put up with having no money or put up with not being able to have the things we want or put up with being abused or put up with doing things we don’t want to do.
This is one of the most detrimental mistakes that parents make. Parents feel trapped in their life and so what do they do? They teach their kids that they are trapped too. This is the stage for endurism. And we wonder why so many people today walk around in adulthood saying “I hate my job, but I have to go to work anyway” or “I hate my marriage but I’m just gonna have to put up with it until the kids go to college.”
This is my advice to parents out there reading this. You want to maintain your own healthy boundaries while helping your kids to grow up unlimited by your boundaries. You want them to grow up with an attitude of freedom and with an attitude of “I can”. Not with an attitude of I’m limited, I can’t or I’m trapped. You would rather raise an adult who actively makes positive change in their life than raise one who is really, really good at enduring pain and hanging in there. So I’m asking you to lead by example. Quit enduring in your own life and if there are ways you’re demonstrating “you have to just put up with it” to your kids, remember that this is the lesson you are giving them for their whole life about their pain, not just this specific situation. I suggest seriously involving them in the process of brainstorming. Make them think their way out of painful situations and take actions to actualize their desires. Change the conversation in your family from “We can’t” to there’s always a way so, “How can we”? All that happens when we feed kids the message that they have to endure something and can’t make any change to remedy the situation is we force the kid to develop an attachment to enduring. They have to become ok with enduring. They have to find spiritual and non-spiritual ideologies that support the idea of enduring. They will grow up to force their partners and kids to endure. They will become stuck and trapped and subconsciously think that to stay stuck and trapped is virtuous. You’re gonna raise a kid that is great at coping as an adult. You don’t want to do that. You don’t want to raise a coper. So teach them freedom instead.
Now beware, when you look at the “endurism” you are engaged in relative to your life, you are going to become very defensive. You are going to find all kinds of reasons why it is good or right to perpetuate your painful situation. But reasonability is the enemy of progress. You have plenty of incredibly valid reasons to justify your endurism. No one is trying to convince you that your reasons are not valid. I’m just trying to convince you that your valid reasons aren’t good enough to justify living a miserable life.
Endurism is limiting. It is nothing more than the age old story of the elephants who are tied to a tree trunk they cannot move when they are little, only to grow to a size where they could easily move the tree trunk and not even realize it. So they stay tied to it unnecessarily. It is a taught limitation that turns into a self-imposed limitation. And sooner or later, an endurer is going to break. Endurism is to blame for most all chronic illness. It is to blame for terminal illness most especially. If we endure, the universe will eventually put us in a change or die scenario so we will get back on board with expansion. This is what terminal illness is all about… make changes for the better in your life or die. This is what life crisis is really about too. If you endure something despite desiring something else, there will eventually be destruction to the thing you are enduring. As in everything will literally fall apart so you no longer have anything to lose by following your joy.
Here’s an analogy. You are on a boat in the ocean. You don’t like that boat. So you desire a different boat. So it comes. And you still wont get off your old boat. You have lots of reasons for not getting off your old boat. So the universe says… “hm… I’m gonna have to make it easier for them to get off their old boat and onto the new one, so I’m gonna poking holes in the old boat”. But when the boat starts to spring leaks, instead of jumping on the new boat, you run around trying to patch up the holes on your old boat. Eventually, the only way to get you onto the new boat is for the universe to quite literally sink your boat so you end up in the water with the choice to drown or get on the new boat. This is why despite the fact that “Follow Your Joy” sounds like a precious and trite spiritual nugget, it is actually a super serious commandment not to be messed with. Anyone who has denied their own expansion will tell you that.
So how do you end endurism? Become acutely aware of the situations in your life you think you have to endure. Get really aware about the excuses you make so as to justify enduring those situations. Look for ways you actually DO have a choice in the situations you’re stuck in. Look at things you could actually do to make a change. Take your power back. Involve other people in the process too. Sometimes the elephant needs to be told by someone, “Hey… you’re three thousand pounds… you can move the damn tree trunk now”. Other people, who are on the outside of our jail cell, tend to be way better at seeing the way we can get out of the jail cell than we are from the inside.
Stop using spiritual ideologies and spiritual truths that are designed to help people release resistance to pain as an excuse to stay in the pain you’re in. Stop telling yourself or the people in your life that there’s nothing to be done and so how it is, is just how it’s going to be. Alternatively, you could keep doing that and watch your boat sink and their boat sink too
Did it ever occur to you that you did not come to this life to cope with life. Did it ever occur to you that perhaps you came here to positively change life? And if it’s not you, then who is it going to be? Stop keeping your power locked away. Every great invention or revolution or personal change is the result of someone refusing to keep coping with life the way it is and deciding to get outside the box to go in the direction of what they would prefer. Every one of us in the world benefits from this kind of person.
The way out of endurism is very simple. It is to follow your joy. Prioritize things in your life and live your life completely according to your values. And anytime you run into a perceived limitation, start looking for the loopholes and levers that will get you to freedom instead. And when you are dealing with other people, perpetuate their freedom instead of imprisonment. Help them find the loopholes and levers that will get them to freedom. See that love is not about enduring pain. Encourage them to live their life according to their values. Enable them to follow their joy.
It doesn’t take a genius to see that there is so much fear around change. Most of us resist change like the plague. We would so much rather stick with what is familiar to us, even if it is causing us pain. Why is this the case?
We cannot stand the pain of uncertainty. I did a whole video on this subject on YouTube incase you ever want to check it out. It’s called How to Deal With Uncertainty. Essentially, uncertainty is the state of being when something is either not known or not decided. When something is not known or not decided relative to a circumstance that causes us stress or pain, we feel vulnerable, anxious and helpless. But what I would like to expose to the collective consciousness today is that there is one particular type of uncertainty that creates the vast majority of our unwillingness to make changes in our life.
As humans, we are a group species. This means that our survival and ability to thrive is dependent upon being connected to other people. We have very real needs that do not go away when we grow older, which are dependent upon other people being there. In fact, most of the emotional needs are related to our connection with other people, such as the need to feel understood and to feel seen and to feel heard and feel belonging and to feel connection. This means, when we form bonds with others, those attachments are very, very strong. We depend on them so as to not starve emotionally. And in my opinion, emotional starvation is more of a threat to the physical human than physical starvation. This is why when someone is heart broken; you often see them quite literally starve themselves and loose weight dramatically. This indicates that emotional needs in fact rank higher for the physical human than physical needs. Separation from someone who you are attached to creates terror for you as a physical human.
We live in a vibrational universe. Everything is vibration. Generally speaking, over the curse of our life, if we are committed to growth and expansion our vibration will continually increase. Even if someone is not ‘conscious’ of growth specifically and simply makes a change for the better to their life, their vibration will increase. In a universe based on the law of attraction, we can only come into contact with and stay in contact with things that we are a vibrational match to in one way or another. So what happens if we change our vibration? We run the risk of no longer being a match to the people who we are currently bonded with in our current vibration. We run the risk of losing them. We run the risk of losing our connection. This triggers our attachment based self-preservation system. We would rather preserve our connection at all costs rather than become isolated, which is the number one worst fear for the physical human. It is a torture that far exceeds death. We would rather preserve our connection even if it means dropping anchor in the stream of expansion and staying stuck where we are, in excruciating pain.
The uncertainty that makes us incapable of making change is the uncertainty of whether or not the people and things we are bonded with and attached to will be lost to us as a result of making the change. Take a look at the story you are telling yourself about the change you are afraid to make and see how the deepest root of it, is in fact the fear of loss of connection and separation. For example, you may come from a background of poverty and you may not be making the changes to create wealth in your life. You may tell yourself that you are afraid of success. But is that really true? Or is it that you fear that by becoming successful, you are going to be shunned by your family, who has put down rich people all their life and made rich people ‘not one of them’. Or you may be afraid to make the change to your life to come out to your parents as gay, because you fear that they will reject you. Or you may be afraid to move to a different city because someone in your family needs you. By moving, you will feel guilty and bad and because being bad in your childhood led to punishments like time outs (disconnection), you are convinced that moving means losing your connection with them.
I call this the “catch up effect”. I call it this because any time you make a change for the better that increases your vibration and causes you to expand, the things and people in your life, must play catch up for you to stay a match to each other vibrationally. Luckily, because expansion is in the best interests of all beings, and because by loving them, you want to stay connected, the universe brings every opportunity to those things and people to make the shift with you. The universe does this in kind ways but also violent ways. In other words, by going with the current of your own expansion, it turns the fire up on the expansion of other people around you.
A while back, I was in the middle of a deep healing process and I got to a point where I could feel this process was about to change my entire vibration and my entire perspective on life and also my boundaries. I could feel that I was shifting in a way that would make me no longer a match to the relationship I was in, in it’s current form. I was so afraid of it that I went numb and couldn’t make myself continue with the process I was engaged with. I knew that by continuing, I was making a conscious decision to risk disconnection with my partner. I had to deal with that fear first before continuing. I had to become ok to potentially lose the connection so as to continue with the current of my own expansion. Fortunately, I was in a relationship with a man who was equally committed to growth and health and so when this terror came up, he essentially gave me permission to shift, even if it made our connection in our current state less secure. He later shifted with me. But I have had plenty of relationships where shifting meant losing the relationship in the physical dimension. I tell you this story to illustrate just how intense this fear is for us all.
Most people think it would be an absolute delight to be in a relationship with a spiritual teacher, like myself. But what they do not know is that the stream of expansion is flowing so fast through people who actively pursue and commit their life to awakening and expansion, that everyone in their life is drug along in that fast moving current. The flames of expansion can be turned up so high around people like myself that people who resist their on growth at all, get burnt by it. It can be agony to continually be forced to play vibrational catch up with someone you are in a relationship with so as to stay a match to them.
It is at this point that I will issue a small warning. The human ego, being comparative and competitive in nature, is tempted to use this idea of vibrational catch up as a means to strengthen its own sense of superiority. So I do not want you to begin using this catch up effect as an excuse to fuel your own sense of superiority. A person who is expanding is not “better” than anyone else. They have simply made a choice to ride the current of expansion. Rather I want you to use the catch up effect to understand what is going on in your life when you make a change and why you resist change so much.
Even the most unconscious person on this earth is a spiritual being and is therefore subconsciously aware of this effect. And so, on a subconscious level, he or she will be afraid to make changes to their life because they wish to prevent the pain of disconnection. He or she will most likely have to get to a point where the pain of staying as is, is equivalent to the pain of changing. In other words, they may have to feel as if they have nothing to lose for them to actually make a change. And the universe is perfectly willing to make this happen. Terminal illness in fact is all about this. It’s the universe putting you in a “you have noting more to lose… so change” scenario.
There is an old saying that goes, “To get what you want, you have to let go of what you don’t want”. This feels a bit like letting go of one ledge of a cliff in the hope that another ledge will catch you. So it is totally understandable why we would avoid this. This is a tormenting degree of uncertainty. If you are afraid of change, ask yourself “what or who am I afraid of losing my connection with by making this change?”
So what would I say to someone who is suffering from the fear of this catch up effect of universal expansion? I would say that you will find connection on the other side of your disconnection and that connection will feel so much better than the connection you have now. I understand you don’t have proof of that yet. And I trust that when you are ready to pull up your anchor and go with the current of your own expansion, you will do it.
I would say that the real dilemma of this life is that no one is exempt from the current of expansion. It is the reason we came into this life. So you must go with the direction of your healing, progression and desires or as you have noticed, you will suffer greatly. Do you want to live your life being held back in the prison of that pain so as to guarantee you will stay connected with someone? Is it even loving to them to do that; or by doing that are you preventing their growth, expansion, highest happiness and healing too? Perhaps the universe is calling you to make this change for the sake of them too, so you can call them into alignment with their own expansion.
Wouldn’t you rather have relationships where you are committed to consciously staying a match to one another by both committing to growth? Wouldn’t you rather have relationships where the other person looks you in the eye and says, I want your healing and your progression and your happiness and so I am committed to shifting with you when you shift rather than expecting you not to shift so as to stay connected to me? Wouldn’t you rather be this kind of friend or partner to others? Would you ever consciously want someone to give up on their own happiness, health and progress just to stay in a relationship with you? On a conscious level, no one wants this of anyone. The time has come to heal our past trauma around disconnection, separation and the isolation that followed.
Awareness is the principal ingredient for change. All other ingredients are accessory to it. And so, just by becoming aware of “the catch up effect” and seeing that it is really the root of our fear of change, we are a great deal closer to making change. When we can stare this root of our fear of change directly in the eye, we can resolve it and change will be the inevitable result.
Most likely, you have heard the terms “Guru” or “Spiritual Leader”. But it may be true that you have not yet heard the term “Spiritual Catalyst”. While Spiritual Leaders, and Gurus are similar to spiritual Catalysts in nature, the vocation of a Spiritual Catalyst can be quite different from the vocation of a Guru or Spiritual Leader.
By definition “spiritual” means something of an essential, incorporeal, perhaps even supernatural nature, the antonym of spiritual of course being, something of a purely physical and corporeal nature.
A Catalyst by definition is a thing which precipitates an event or change, often without itself being affected.
Therefore, a Spiritual Catalyst is a person who precipitates an event or a change on the level of spirit (the essential, incorporeal part of someone or something). Spiritual Catalysts, like gurus, have attained a high level of spiritual authority, awareness, and knowledge, which enables them to guide others. Spiritual Catalysts however, do not aim to become “Leaders” to their disciples as much as they wish to cause their disciples to question and find answers within themselves. It is the firm belief of a Spiritual Catalyst that if a person is caused to initiate their own exploration on the level of spirit, that a person will then become the conscious leaders of their own lives. It is also the belief of a Spiritual Catalyst that if a person becomes the conscious creator and leader of their own life, that their life will inevitably become a kind of living enlightenment; thereby allowing that person to live in a continuous state of internal peace and joy.
For centuries upon centuries, theologians have dreamt up various conceptions about what created the reality we live in. While some people have denied the existence of a “creator” behind this universe, most of the world’s population believes that the universe does indeed exist as the result of some form of advance intelligence. The name most often assigned to this being or advanced intelligence is “God”. As is the case with so many conceptualizations, the various ideas centered around what God actually is differ greatly. The truth of God however goes far, far beyond these conceptualizations. Even though language is a valuable tool, it creates a degree of separation which makes the accurate conveyance of God nearly impossible. To call God by a name is to immediately make God an “It”, which is to lose touch with the ultimate truth of God. It does not matter what name you assign to it. The essence of God remains the same.
God is omnipresent, Omni benevolence. It is the pure unfiltered oneness that is the universal truth of this universe. God is consciousness. God is Energy. God exists both incorporeally and in physical manifestation. It makes up all that is, which means you are God too, this is why God is often referred to as the higher self. You, sitting in the room you are sitting in, are a thought which was thought into physical manifestation by this united consciousness called God. You are not separate from God in this physical body. Your existence in fact depends on the continual focus of God into the “you” which you identify with in this life. What most people of earth have lost touch with is the axiom that God evolves due to the thought which is born as a result of the physical life we are living. God gains it’s very omniscience through every thought that has ever been thought. This united consciousness called God is in truth becoming conscious of itself through our every thought.
The genuine knowledge of God does not happen from a cerebral place in us. It happens from a feeling place, which is why it is impossible to dissuade someone from belief in God once they have experienced it. Feeling place refers to much more than just emotion, it refers to perception. Emotion is simply a physical, chemical translation of the energetic vibrations we perceive around us. The energetic vibration of God feels to people like unconditional love and worth. This is why over thousands of years, and across thousands of cultures, love is the one unanimously agreed upon attribute of God. It does not matter that people know conceptually what God is, or even that they acknowledge that it is. A life is not favored or forsaken for belief or lack of belief in it. The omnipresent potential energy which has often been called “God” is a universal, objective truth that is ever-present whether it is consciously acknowledged or not. You are never cut off from it. You are it.
This Source from which we manifest into this life is acutely aware that more evolution comes in the universe of a thriving physical existence than ever came of a suffering physical existence and so, it lends a bit of help. They are known as angels, they are known as guides. They are a true projection of source into a thought form. No matter what name they have gone by, their purpose remains the same, to aid us in our journey. And so I bring this message from the messengers to you…
Below is an excerpt from a channeling in front of live audience in Park City, Utah, October 12, 2010.
“This is an existence which you lead, is one of free choice. We can not therefore open the door to your awareness, before you do. You do this when you make the choice to believe before you see. We are limitless. We are that which you call quantum. We exist immersed in the potential of the person looking at this page. Every day in your lives, you are causing the expansion of yourself as well as the collective of all that is with your thought. And yet you still believe not in your perfection but instead in your unworthiness. The path to happiness and freedom is to see yourselves as we see you, as perfect as you are. Seek harmony within yourself; seek the definition of your joy. You can get anywhere you want to be from where you stand today. Every moment is new, if you allow it to be new. The only thing that could ever hold you separate from the solutions you seek is the perpetual attention to your problems instead. Everything that is part of your life is the aftermath of focus. Make peace with your lives. Make peace with them, and then move forward, by focusing on what you want your life to look like and feel like to you. Your suffering is unnatural. It is a pattern you have learned. Your essence is one of freedom and of joy. We want you to know that there is no separation between us from our perspective. You are not different from us at all. All you are doing is currently expressing yourselves differently than we are today. If you could see life from our view point, you would forever know the power of your being, your worth, your joy. This universe becomes whatever you request, if only you allow it to”.
There are many cultures around the globe that have multiple words for all the different kinds of love that there are. In the English language however, the singular word “love” is used to refer to a vast array of experiences. Love is the word we use to represent feeling states, attitudes, pleasures, or strong affections felt for any number of things from romantic attachments to sexual attachments to platonic attachments. The usage of this one term “love” to cover all of these definitions as well as complex emotional states is partly responsible for the confusion most people alive today have with regards to the idea of love. It is beneficial therefore, when understanding love, to become familiar with the way the universe at large sees love.
Love is a feeling space rather than a cerebral concept. It is therefore an experience rather than an intellectualization. To Source and therefore your transcendental, eternal self, love is not just an emotion or a virtue. Love is the basis for all physical and non physical being. It is the profound feeling space of total and complete oneness. Because Source is the experience of oneness, it is in the state of constant, unconditional love. Because we are temporarily in the experience in this three dimensional reality of “separateness”, unconditional love is a feeling space, it is a mental attitude, it is a decision we make and, most importantly, it is a skill to be developed. Love is not something that either exists inside us towards ourselves and others, or it doesn’t. Loving is something we learn to do. And loving unconditionally is a lifelong practice. But loving unconditionally is not something that can be experienced outside of the parameters of worth. If you are in this very moment still basing worth of yourself or others on externals such as what a person does and says, their talents, their gender, their aptitudes or their shortcomings etc. You are practicing conditional love.
To unconditionally love is to see the true essence of your own worth as well as the worth of others. All things created, were created from love to love. To unconditionally love others is to see that worth has nothing to do with externals (anything a person will leave behind upon leaving this life). It is to see the identical nature of you as well as their core essence. Once you have done this, it becomes easier to allow yourself in that recognition to experience the unchanging, eternal feeling space of that unity regardless of any conditions that differentiate you from them in this life. It would be true to say that love is a kind of spiritual awareness. No one on this earth deliberately practices “conditional love”. But most people of earth today are practicing conditional love by default. Often this default pattern occurs due to the fact that people do not mentally know any other way to love because conditional love that is the kind of love which was demonstrated to them throughout the majority of their lives (and people learn primarily by example). People also often practice conditional love because at this point in time, most people on earth have forgotten their eternal, non physical nature. When you are feeling emotionally bad because you are focusing on something you dislike about yourself or someone else, you are using that thing you are focusing on as your excuse to disallow Source, and therefore love, to come into your life (as it naturally would without the prevention of it). You are in that very moment, saying that your love is conditioned upon that external thing changing before you can feel love. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
Nowhere is this concept more paramount than in the relationship between you and you. No suffering is ever about another person. It is always the result of the relationship between you and you. You can never experience anything else other than external relationships which are an exact match to the internal relationship you have with yourself. If you could, it would defy the laws this universe is managed by. So, the real question to ask yourself on a daily basis is, “Am I practicing unconditional love with myself?”. The person, with whom unconditional love must start, is with the epicenter of all that is within your reality… yourself. From there, it is a promise that the unconditional nature of your love will reflect out across everything else in your life. And you will receive it back into your life two fold.
The body manages to be a very simple and simultaneously complex system that allows us interaction with this physical dimension. Nowhere is this dichotomy more obvious than with DNA. In essence, DNA is the very first manifestation of the blueprint of Source's "idea" of you. It is the meeting place of spirit and physical. For years, we as a species have been stuck in three dimensional awareness and therefore seen DNA as purely three dimensional in nature, which is not only inaccurate, it stops us from being able to see the whole picture of our reality, our purpose and our eternal nature.
DNA, like everything else, has a magnetic field and as such, is not restricted to the third dimension. It is inter-dimensional. DNA is both physical and non physical. In fact much more of our DNA is non physical than physical in nature. The part of DNA that we physically see as biological matter, which is protein encoded and hereditary, is dwarfed by the amount of non physical energy going into that DNA, which is informational in nature. Many people think that they are restricted to living out what is encoded in their DNA as if it were a life sentence. It is the scapegoat of many problems all the way from obesity to deformity. But DNA is like a group of cards all picked and assembled by Source creating the physical concept of you. And it is now your choice from your separate physical life, how to play those cards.
You can increase or decrease the ways that DNA communicates with the molecules and cells in your body. There is no such thing as something in the physical that is static. No matter what the statistics and odds tell you, anything that has manifested in the physical in the first place, has the ability to change. Nothing exists in this physical world that, with or without changes being made, has a decided outcome. DNA is not determining your thoughts, or your way of life or your physical health, it is an "idea" that is manifesting physically, that is constantly being amended by your thoughts and re informing your body how to "be".
You could think of DNA as a control tower that is broadcasting the energetic vibration of your thoughts out to your body, at which point the body assembles to exactly mirror the energetic broadcasts that it has received. Your thoughts are what control your DNA.
Everything about this physical life that you now lead is experienced from the standpoint of your physical body. If you have suffered from a physical ailment, you already know that when your body is in a state of illness, it reflects out into all aspects of your mind. What is overlooked in society today is that the reverse is also true. When your mind is in a state of illness, it reflects its self out into all aspects of your body. Though this concept may be a difficult one to grasp if you have practiced three dimensional thinking for the majority of your life, thought is not just an abstraction. Thought is the preview of what is to come in the third dimension. It is very easy to fall into the path of shortsightedness and say for example that an illness comes from a specific virus. It is easy to say you know it comes from this specific virus because you can see it visibly with a microscope hacking into cells. This however is the same as telling the story that the light which illuminates a room comes from a light bulb. The story of where light itself actually comes from can be traced much further than the light bulb. It is a much longer story, just as illness is a much longer story than what is obvious and visible, which we often call the "cause".
Many people assume that there are physical conditions that dictate by default how your life and especially your body will end up. Conditions determined by things such as DNA. The problem with this mode of thinking is that DNA is activated and told how to express it's self by the mind (human consciousness). Mind (thought) is the bridge between spirit and body. You, as a living being find harmony with your spirit using your thoughts and you use thoughts to create harmony in and of your body. Your entire body in fact originated as a thought. Therefore, when your thoughts change to match an energetic vibration which is negative, it is as good as re writing the blueprint of your body. This negative change then manifests as illness. Chronic disease is in fact weakness caused by chronic thoughts such as those of fear, stress, guilt, resentment, overwhelm or hate. If there is no weakness present in the pre- manifested vibrations of thought, there is nowhere for illness to occur, there is nowhere for traumatic injury to occur, there is no way for a virus or bacteria to effect you, and your genetic predispositions towards a particular disease will be dormant.
It is for this reason that the modality of mind medicine (thought) could quite possibly be the most important part of healing. No matter how much you do on the physical level to change circumstances that have already manifested, they will continue to manifest again and again if the thoughts you are habitually thinking remain the same. There is nothing that is physical that is truly static. No matter what the statistics and odds tell you, anything that has manifested in the physical in the first place, has the ability to change. Nothing exists in this physical world that with or without certain changes being made, has a decided outcome. To put yourself physically in a chronic state of health, all you have to do is make thoughts which hold a positive energetic vibration, (thoughts that feel good to think) the thoughts which are habitual and chronic for you to think.
The doubt in eternalness and the dread of oblivion is a dull type of fear which resides in the back the minds of so many of us alive today. It is a fear which most of us don't face until we are knocking on the door of our own death or are grieving the death of a loved one. When we have not faced death and the reality of it is upon us, we often do not know what to think of it and so, we fall into depression and deep grief. We become absorbed in illusion. The illusion we become absorbed in is the illusion of seeing death as our own annihilation; we also see it as the permanent loss of others. Sometimes this grief becomes so strong in us that we even let the death of others become our own death as well despite the fact that we are still living.
Our fear of death makes us miss the ever present truth that our existence is not restricted to the single lifespan stretching from the moment we are born to the moment we draw our last breath. There is in fact no such thing as beginning, just as there is no such thing as end. Ultimately there is no coming and there is no going. This physical life is simply a temporary expression of the eternal transcendental energy and consciousness that is you. When the conditions are right for it, that energy manifests into a life and when conditions are no longer right, it withdrawals its flow through that manifestation. It is an eternal cycle which takes place again and again. You can not have a life and you can not lose a life because you are life.
Though your eyes and ears may no longer perceive the presence of a singular expression which we call a life, it does not mean it isn't there. You can not lose the interconnectedness that is the basis of all that is. Your body is much like a radio sitting on a nightstand. The radio is the expression through which radio waves manifest themselves. The radio waves (which represent your real, eternal self) still exist there after the radio is gone. They are still all around you. They simply no longer have a physical radio to manifest themselves through. There is no such thing as extinction. You do not lose yourself in death. You do not lose others in death. They are all around you, like radio waves accessible at any moment.
Death is nothing more than a withdrawal of consciousness. And though our limited senses do not make it seem so, the loved ones who have experienced a physical death are closer to you in death than they even were in life. Because for them, there is no distance, space or time. Give yourself permission to be where you are, even if that is currently a space of grief, then gradually when you feel as if you are ready and wanting relief, search within yourself. Reach for the recognition of what you have always intuitively known, that there is no death, and therefore there is no such thing as genuine loss. If you do this, you will find a space of living without fear. You will know peace, you will touch immortality, and you will not know the sorrow of death anymore.
When a person begins to explore the concept that they create their own reality, often they begin looking for tangible, scientific evidence to back it up. While it remains true that the key to seeing everything is to first believe it, there is in fact scientific evidence to support the concept that you create your own reality. Some of the best scientific evidence behind the concept that you create your own reality can be seen through the study of electrons. Electrons are a main component (some even say the building blocks) of all matter. Electrons are not particles that sometimes become waves, nor are they waves that sometimes become particles. Instead, in a stimulus free environment, electrons exist in a state of potential until they are interacted with. Electrons are in a sense everything and nothing, wave and particle at the same time. They are in a state of potential until you or something else observes/interacts with them. Observation is not the most important thing, however, which dictates the form that electrons take. The expectation (thought) which the observer holds is.
This is one conclusion that has been drawn as the result of an experiment called the double slit experiment. During the double slit experiment, an electron cannon was set up in a stimulus free chamber. It was then aimed at a wall with two slits in it. Behind that wall was another wall which recorded the final landing points of the electrons after they passed through the slits. The cannon fired electrons at the first wall one at a time but very rapidly, much the same as a machine gun fires bullets. If a machine gun were to be fired at a wall with two slits, the bullets would produce a pattern of bullet holes on the second wall which correspond to the diameters of the two slits on the first wall. Therefore, it was widely thought that the electron cannon would create the same results. They should in a sense have formed two roughly rectangular patterns (a slightly larger outline of each slit) on the second wall.
However, that is not what happened in the double slit experiment. While some of the electrons in the double slit experiment hit the first wall and were absorbed by it, most of the electrons instead made impressions all over the second wall not corresponding with the slits at all, instead forming wave patterns on the second wall. Scientists then positioned a photon emitter to fire a photon at each electron as it traveled toward the two slits. They found that doing this changed the results of the double slit experiment. When the photons collided with each electron before they passed through one of the two slits, the electrons made it through one of the two slits only to land on the second wall in the machine gun bullet pattern they expected to see the first time. This experiment has been repeated many, many times and remains an experiment which challenges physicists even today, but it boldly points to the truth that through interaction via your observation and expectation, you are creating the very form which matter takes.
All matter that you see in this physical dimension is simply energy vibrating in such a way that it takes on static properties. When it does this, you perceive things with your five senses as being solid. Matter is in fact totally unsubstantial. Nearly 99% of an atoms (which makes up all matter there is) is considered "empty space". This means only one percent of an atom is actually manifested in the third dimension as something you can experience through your senses. When you experience something that feels like "touch", what you are feeling is actually the sensation of electromagnetic repulsion as your hand comes within one angstrom (one ten-billionth of a meter) of the atoms making up the other material object. So, you never actually physically touch anything.
All matter is also composed of the same exact elements. The only reason you see one thing as different from the next thing is that it is holding a different energetic vibration. Your expectation (thought) manifests that vibrating energy into its form. This is the way that thoughts become things. You are, literally, creating your reality. You are doing it every day with the thoughts that you are thinking. Your thoughts are one of the most dominant energetic vibrations within this universe. It should therefore be said that if you begin to practice thinking the thoughts that are in line with how you want your reality to be, soon you will see that those new thoughts will become your new physical reality.
You’re probably feeling it… No matter how cloaked your perceptions have become throughout your life, it does not take much to be able to tell that we are in the process of a giant shift here on Planet Earth. This shift is creating rapid change. You may have already heard a fair amount of hypothesizing about this shift, much of which falls into the doomsday category. Yes, there are large groups of people who have been firm in their beliefs recently that this shift is in fact the energy mounting only to culminate in the end of the world and apocalypse. The intercultural prophecies surrounding 2012 as well as what mainstream media marketing has made out of them has put many people on earth in a powerless position of anticipation, questioning and fear.
I will tell you today, that this fear is completely unnecessary. The physical matter that you see in your physical environment is at its most elementary level, nothing but energy. It is energy just like consciousness is energy. And consciousness is a universal truth, not just an individual truth.
Universal consciousness is changing. The consciousness of this dimension we are living in is changing. We are experiencing a great confluence of energies. Because of this, we are in the midst of a vast metamorphosis. It is a culmination which many of us have been looking forward to for centuries.
When the energetic vibration of consciousness rises, our physical dimension must stay in resonance with it. This is a universal law, because anything that is physical is merely the by product of consciousness. This means the Earth is raising its frequency and we as a human race are raising our frequency. As you read this, we are making evolutionary changes as a species.
This process can be called ascension, because we will be expanding at a very fast rate beyond the restrictions we have been experiencing for thousands of years. We are opening up to absolute, universal truth and to our own (non external) divinity. We are becoming more quantum and more inter-dimensional at our very core. We are evolving past the foundation of both our programmed and our inherited beliefs into the knowledge that this is a universe of no restrictions and no limitations. This allows us to awaken into the objective view of the truth that always was, always is and always will be… that we create our own realities. And that we do so with our every thought.
This galactic alignment (which is merely the physical byproduct of such a grand scale magnetic shift in our dimension following this shift of consciousness) does not spell the end of the world, it does not spell apocalypse. It spells a re birth. It is the birth of a new dimensional reality for us, the birth of a heightened consciousness. The realization of an evolved state of being for the galaxy we live in.
For those who resist this change and cling to what was, it will indeed be a painful transition, for many will be convinced that they are loosing their control, their identities and their realities. They will come face to face with the fear of death. They may even make their actual transition into death. They will find proof of apocalypse for themselves by looking at things like illness, wars and natural disasters.
But as humanity is approaching and in the midst of this critical juncture, you should know that just like any juncture, it is always your choice which path you take, the path of resistance or the path of allowance. If you choose to allow it and embrace this shift, you will not be swallowed up by this wave of change, you will be riding it. You will welcome this shift with open arms, excited for it. You will be able to experience the feeling of going with the flow of this change, and you can use its immense energy to achieve a state which perfectly matches the heightened frequency of this new consciousness.
Each and every day we are presented the opportunity to either use our minds to cultivate a lowered or a heightened energetic frequency in and of ourselves. This shift is a current of opportunity propelling you (if you will let it) towards appreciation, compassion, purpose, peace, understanding, forgiveness, kindness, awareness and joy. Let this current take you; trust where it is taking you. Do not let your focus be distracted by things you see around you (which others will be so intent on pointing out to you) which are detrimental to feeling good.
This is an opportunity to re train your mind. You are free to activate within it whatever you would like to have activated there. And subsequently, what you have activated within your mind will become your reality. It is my wish that you will come to know that you are not victims of this Universe. You are not victims of this Earth you live on. You are not victims of each other. You are unlimited, pure, potential energy expressing yourself in the manifestation that you see in the mirror every day. You came to this planet at exactly this point, eager for the experience of exactly this.
Before you are born into this physical experience, you exist in and as the space of being of what is often called "God". Though it can be said that you have a certain sense of self, it is not the kind of sense of self that imbues a differentiation or separation from anything else in your objective awareness. You exist in essence as what can be called your higher self. Soon after you are born, you begin to identify with your body, personality, culture, likes and dislikes, as well as all of the thoughts and beliefs that arise as a result of the physical experiences you have lived. The identification with all of these things builds the idea you have of yourself. But it is an idea that is restricted to the short timeline from your birth to your death in this singular lifetime. It is the temporary nature of this singular lifetime that often causes you, at some point in your life, to begin to question these roles and identities which you have become. This questioning leads you then to a deeper awareness of the truth of who you really are. It leads you to the discovery of your true nature. In other words, it establishes a profound conscious connection with your higher self.
Any kind of spiritual belief is empty of meaning without a personal and direct experience of your higher self. Your higher self is the eternal, incorporeal, omnipotent, consciousness that is your real self. It is the being that you go forth from and withdraw back to from life to life. It is the summation of all that you have ever been and all that you are. It is often called a higher self because the frequency of the energetic vibration of God and therefore your higher self could be interpreted as a much higher frequency than that of physical structure. Your connection to your higher self is unbreakable. It is in fact the focus of your higher self into the idea of you that created you in the first place. If that connection of focused energy from your higher self was to be withdrawn, you would die. For this reason it is always a capability of yours at any moment to utilize this connection.
Your higher self is focusing love and guidance into your life in every second of your life, and it is your choice to either prevent that focused energy or to allow it. You prevent this focused energy of your higher self by thinking thoughts that are of a discordant energetic vibration to the energetic vibration of your higher self. You allow the focused energy by practicing thoughts that energetically resonate with the vibration of your higher self. You will know if you are doing one or the other because when you are thinking thoughts that oppose and therefore prevent the energetic vibration of your higher self, the thoughts make you feel emotionally bad to think.
Likewise, when you are allowing the vibration of that focused energy by thinking thoughts that are a match to your higher self, the thoughts feel emotionally good to think. Your emotions are a translation, informing you at all moments of the day of where you stand energetically in relation to your higher self. When you are preventing the focused energy of your higher self, you quickly develop ailments of all kinds. When you create a lack of that energy flowing through you, you make yourself a match to illness, to accidents, and to absence instead of abundance and health. This is the reason that even though most people do not know what role their emotions play, feeling better still remains the motivation behind every action taken in this world.
Your higher self also plays out in a very important way in this physical experience you are living with respect to your desires. When you experience a situation which you would define as negative, it serves as a comparison. It serves as a comparison from which its opposite arises within you. In other words, the idea of what is alternately positive. This is an inevitable process; you do it even without conscious awareness. Your higher self becomes vibrationally that "idea" that you have consciously or subconsciously desired. This is how the higher self evolves and becomes more.
But once this has happened, like a magnet, the law of attraction (which is the most powerful and invariable occurrence in this universe) begins drawing you and your higher self together, because the energetic vibration of what you desire and the energetic vibration of your higher self is now a "like" energetic vibration. This means all things in the third dimension which you identify as your life and your identity are drawn together with all the things in the physical dimension that are an energetic match to the vibration of the manifestation of your desire. They are orchestrated towards you so that your physical reality becomes a full realization of that thing you desired in the first place (what you, yourself caused the universe to become). If you think thoughts that feel good, you are allowing those changes into your experience, if you think thoughts that feel bad, you are preventing them. However, they do not go away. They are always there, they simply can not become in your universe because you have free will which is expressed through choice of thought to not cooperate with your own desires.
The conscious awareness and utilization of your constant connection to your higher self is the key to achieving everything you desire as well as living a happy life, full of all the experiences you intended for yourself upon choosing to come into this physical life. Your eternal, true self is always with you, eager for your conscious notice and communication, in a space of unconditional love and aid, becoming more because of the physical you.
This is most especially a problem when people try to understand how the law of attraction applies to children who end up in circumstances which, from a societal point of view, are seen as horrific and unfair. A good example of this (though there are many) is the example of a child who is living in an abusive environment. Most of us have grown up as the result of our upbringings with the strong need for the world around us to seem fair. The entire punishment and reward system, which the majority of humans are raised with, mimics our human ideas of justice and lends to this need for fairness. But, the punishment and reward system does not mimic the laws of the universe.
Thoughts like "blame", "fault", "unfairness", "deserving" and "victim" are thoughts restricted to the human subjective mind and not the universal objective mind. Most of us who can read these words have lost our objective view of the full picture of the universe and how our lives fit into this big picture. We see a child is completely "innocent" and therefore we can not come to terms with something in relation to this "innocent" child that we identify as being unfair and which they do not deserve. We then draw the conclusion that some things must just happen at random and therefore we make these children out to be victims of circumstances which are completely out of their control. We can not see a child, who seems so physically incapable, as the capable creator that the child is. It feels better to us in the disempowered, fearful state of identifying with a child as a victim, to shift to a space of anger and to place "blame" with the abuser than to stay in that feeling of disempowerment. In our incredibly emotionally charged identification with the suffering we see in these children, however, the truth is highly obscured.
A child, who seems so feeble and innocent, is in fact an eternal and very powerful being, endowed fully with the free will to choose the thoughts that they are thinking as well as what they pay attention to. They may seem to possess so much less capability than an adult because of their comparatively weak physical structure, but they are simply in a different phase of the process of physical life. They are new to this particular physical life experience. But they are not new to life itself and they are not composed of new energy. Before they come into this physical body, they share the perspective of Source (that which many people call God). From the perspective of Source, each life is lived in order to expand all that is. Life is lived for the purpose of universal evolution. It is through this process that consciousness becomes conscious of itself.
Physical, three dimensional reality serves as the perfect venue for this evolution because physical life allows for the experience of contrast and comparison. In physical life, a person can not give rise to a desire, if they are not confronted with what they do not desire. Because of the tangible nature of physical manifestation, physical life is a very definitive, clear cut way for the conscious universe at large to discern what to become. The "negative" that already IS, which we see around us, is nothing more than an immense resource for the potential manifestation of all future possibilities created from all the previous, vibrational, collective experiences of all that was. Even the most horrific things we can imagine from our narrow, subjective, physical standpoint are not seen as horrific from the vantage point of the universe at large, because these horrific things are the breeding ground and cause for the birth of things like happiness and change.
With regards to objective view, there is a famous analogy which is that if a person bumps their toe, from the perspective of the toe, it is a tragedy. From the perspective of the rest of the body, it is a temporary, painful nuisance and from the perspective of the person, it is a frustrating experience, which is not significant enough to be remembered even the next day. The difference between the objective view of source and the subjective view of our physical lives is much like this previous analogy. Before a child comes into the physical dimension, they share this vantage point and perspective, and so they do not fear or avoid choosing into situations which are "negative". To them at that point and from that perspective, easy is not necessarily valuable. In fact, many of them deliberately choose into those situations of negativity knowing it will inspire them quickly and dramatically towards the exact opposite.
Non-physical beings have the free will to determine the future circumstances they will experience in the physical and so, some beings intentionally choose to experience things like destitution, imprisonment, poverty, depression, war, paralysis, suffering, rape and physical abuse so that they may use those things to define and intensify their knowledge of happiness, freedom, abundance, peace and kindness. These negative experiences are in fact the events most able to cause rapid, dramatic, positive evolution. They know it will cause extreme expansion not only for them, but for all that is. So, no matter what the physical outcome may be of such a choice, it is worth it to them.
Many of the great leaders and masters throughout history come from childhoods of great negativity. This is no accident, it is intentional… adversity is the fertile opposition which inspires the birth of triumph. It may not be something that anyone likes to accept, but the eternal, non physical portion of a person often chooses an abusive childhood for this purpose. This does not mean that children born into these situations should be left to suffer or are fated to suffer. Even though we decide into aspects of this life before this life, nothing is pre ordained. We are constantly amending our life and outcomes as we go along. We are constantly changing so, we can shift course at any point in our lives here. Even as children.
There is also another common way that a child can attract negative circumstances like abuse. This is when the child adopts negative energetic vibrations from his or her environment and then attracts those things which match that vibration into their own experience. We as humans like to draw imaginary lines in the sand defining when a person is and isn't responsible for their lives. We also like to draw imaginary lines defining at what age a person has free will and at what age the law of attraction can apply to them. The truth is the law of attraction is working day in and day out on all aspects and dimensions of this universe. There is no pause button.
There is also no pause button as far as vibration is concerned. Children adopt and therefore present "vibrations" long before they have the capacity to speak. Children offer thought well before their physical brains are developed. Thought is not a by product of the brain, it is a byproduct of universal consciousness. Children can adopt and present vibrations even while they are still in the womb. And so, they are attracting physical things which are a match to those vibrations even that early on in development. The expression of particular genes is even the result of these early vibrations. Vibrations can not be "imposed" from one life form to another, but they are an influence. And the stronger the vibration is, the bigger the influence is.
This feeling of strong influence leads to a sensation of it not being a choice to adopt a specific vibration around you. Instead it feels like it is forced. And so, the adoption of that vibration becomes default instead of truly intentional. If a child for example comes into an environment of extreme worry and fear, it is difficult for them (though it is still a choice) to not adopt that same vibration of fear and worry. They have not consciously decided how they want to think about what they observe, they are simply observing. They have observed this fearful way of thinking and adopted it, which makes them now a match to things which reinforce that vibration. It makes them a match to other people who also hold the vibration of fear and powerlessness (such as perpetrators). Perpetrators act out physically from the feeling of powerlessness and fear. Victims are also in the vibration of powerlessness and fear but they do not act on it. They are still, despite action, identical energetic vibrations. The child does not deserve it. It is not the child's fault. It is simply an effect of how the universe works with regards to vibration.
It is not healthy to think of the law of attraction with regards to child abuse in the human terms of "they brought it upon themselves". Instead, what is accurate is to say that everything which ever happens to anyone, child or otherwise, is an exact match to the energetic vibration they hold.
Quite often, children choose into situations where they are influenced into the choice of picking up and therefore adopting negative energetic vibrations from the environment around themselves. The law of attraction then draws them to those things which are an exact match to those energetic vibrations and it draws those things which are an exact match to those energetic vibrations to them. Once they come into physical life, most people, including children, do not know what energetic vibrations they are presenting until they experience the physical manifestation of them. This is not wrong. It just is, without judgment. And it can be changed at any moment.
There is no such thing as a childhood experience which a person can not evolve from. And even though childhood abuse is the direct result of the matching up of the negative vibrations present in the child as well as the abuser, it is not a matter of fault and it is not a matter of the abuse being somehow deserved. If we can, as a society learn to focus on our idea of the good we want for these children as well as the good we want for the individuals that are hurting them as the direct result of their own hurt, we will be aligning with the solution to child abuse. If we as the whole of human society could collectively align with the thought of what this world would look like, absent of fear and powerlessness and revenge, instead of focusing so intensely on the presence of it, things like child abuse would not exist.
Up until recently in our evolution, the human race as a species has undergone a long period of searching for spirituality outside of itself. Much of the ancient knowledge of the individual's connection with the divine has disappeared with the advent of the Newtonian model of physics.
The human quest for control and the separation created by things like religion, sex, race and language has deactivated an entire portion of our DNA. Even while reading this, if you are a person who has grown up under the "modern" model of physics and medicine, the idea of DNA having anything to do with spirit, much less being inter-dimensional in nature, will most likely be a concept that you do not fully accept.
But this is not only the truth of DNA, it is one of the major discoveries about DNA that science has neither explained nor explored yet. This "non use" caused the biological structure of many humans to change dramatically, and subsequently the generations born to them, to retain that biological change. Humans were no longer focused on their mind-body-spirit connection and so, the physical manifestations (much of them chemical) of that connection atrophied. As a result, many people of earth have to work to consciously access this connection and re-activate that unused portion of their DNA. All of this is about to change. In fact it has been in the process of changing for quite some time now.
We are in the midst of an evolutionary change. This evolutionary change is being led by the children of this "new age". More and more, children are coming into this physical reality retaining the conscious knowledge of whom and what they are, knowing why they are here and with more and more of their inter-dimensional DNA potential activated. These children have an actual biological system connection to the divine.
By now, you may have heard the "buzz" surrounding the first of these new humans called "indigo children". Though indigo children have been trickling in here and there since the 1950's, they did not register on society's radar until the 1970's. The first large wave of this variation in human form came about in the 1980's. Many of these children chose to come in to the physical existence at this time through parents who participated in the 1960's shift in consciousness.
Indigo children are the "warriors" and "trailblazers" of the new age. They are the bridge to the next level of humanity. Indigo children carry a new energetic vibration which has begun to transform humanity. For the indigo children, the door to universal consciousness is always open and accessible. They, along with the subsequent variations to come after them, are changing human consciousness.
Indigo children began to catch attention because their strong biological connection to "spirit", along with the fact that they have no knowledge (or care) of what is and isn't "possible", made it so that they could not fit into the current structure of society. There is no limit to their comprehension and they could not be made to conform. They did not come in looking to absorb the current beliefs of humanity; they came to build new belief for themselves and for man kind.
Because of their intense spirit connection and intentions, indigo children have come into this life with what seemed to many like supernatural abilities ranging all the way from strong intuition to full blown extrasensory capabilities. Indigo children, though physical in form, have an ethereal quality to them. The fact that these children have no concept of what is or is not impossible means that they will lead us beyond the limits of what we believe to be possible, and to break down the old patterns and barriers that have been present in society.
Because Indigo children are here for the purpose of facilitating change, they have also garnered much attention over the years for being incredibly difficult children to raise. Indigo children (like successive new age children) do not turn to adults for answers. They would rather find the answers within themselves and learn "the hard way". Many adults will expect respect from an indigo child based on age and life experience, but age is not a qualification for anything in the mind of an indigo. They have great problems with authority because they do not think that the world is the way it should be, and so they do not listen to the advice of people who have participated in making the world the way that it is.
Indigo children do not believe in the status Quo. They are non conformists to the extreme, but not for the sake of personal expression or fun, rather for the aim of altering this world's vision. They (unlike the successive peaceful, loving new age children) have the "warrior" energy of a person coming into life with the express intention of destroying beliefs and systems which they do not think serve humanity. They come in with the idea that many will be against them, but the will to succeed in bringing down any aspect of society that is archaic and limiting.
Anyone who values conformity or obedience will misunderstand and butt heads with the indigo. Indigo children do not respond normally to disciplinary action. Disciplinary action is exactly what they expected to be met with before coming into life and so… disciplinary action is faced by an indigo child, like battle. They often have easy tempers and so any attempt to get them to abide by limits will most likely be met with this temper and be treated like combat.
However, unlike what you would typically expect from a person with warrior type energy, they have very sensitive systems. Because their senses are taking in much more stimulus than the average person's, they have a lower resiliency to certain foods and environments, making them seem high maintenance. The indigo child will never try to join a group. Instead, they will isolate themselves until they find a kindred spirit.
Sadly, many of the first waves of indigo children, due to their various abnormal behaviors, have wound up being labeled as mentally ill, and therefore, many have been medicated and influenced out of their amazing gifts. The struggle they have faced in coming in to shift our society to such an extreme degree often makes their life circumstances so difficult that unfortunately, the suicide rate for indigos is very high.
Over the years many people have wondered why they go by the name of "indigo". It is because the new vibration that they carry moves in such a way that the light distribution versus the wavelength of this energy causes the human eye to perceive the electro magnetic spectrum of that energy at between 420 nm and 450 nm in wavelength, in other words… the color we call "indigo".
Now that the Indigo children have paved the way, children with even newer, advanced energetic vibrations have come in and continue to come in. They are still very young, and so we have not felt the full force of their purpose coming to fruition. You may hear them being called things like "crystal" children and "rainbow" children. Though they share the commonality with indigos that they are very empathic, hypersensitive, profound, intuitive and extrasensory, they differ in that they bring with them the energetic vibration of peace and even the energy of divine love and unity.
Their auras are very different because of this new vibration. Their auras, instead of taking on their own individual color, tend to be prismatic, either appearing like a clear, reflective light field that takes on the colors around it, or like the aura itself already contains all colors within the color spectrum (much like a rainbow effect). These children are connected, very sensitive, communicative and compassionate. Many of them have incredible abilities to heal others.
Many of these new age children, even more so than the indigo children, do not immediately possess the current social skills that are expected within society, because these behaviors go against their over all goal. Therefore, many diagnoses including the autism diagnosis will rise dramatically with the introduction of these new children.
They are here to assist the world as we evolve into a higher vibration where love and empathy become the norm rather than the exception. They are highly enlightened children who understand the ultimate truth, that there is no difference between that which is human/animal/ plant/mineral and that, in truth, all are one.
The social systems surrounding these children must be those which help them towards evolution instead of education. They will not respond well to harshness. Whether that harshness comes from things like loud noise, discipline, cruelty, anger, temperature extremes or unhealthy foods, they will respond to all of this by withdrawing into themselves, and some may quickly develop illness because of this.
These children, no matter what name they go by, are born with expanded abilities as well as more of their DNA active, and so they present an amazing new opportunity for the rest of society to evolve. Often, out of habit, society does not embrace the new vibrations which successive generations bring to earth. Therefore, many people are not personally able to experience their vision or reach beyond what is currently thought to be possible within their lifetime.
But if we stop trying to make them "fit the current mode and model" of behavior within society and instead embrace this new energy they bring, allowing it to transform us, they will guide us into the new advancement of our society, species and world.
There is a pervasive question lingering in the minds of many people today. It is the question of how we can reduce the ever increasing levels of crime and violence that plague our society. The usual answer to this question which is given by politicians and the media is that we have to be even tougher on crime. It is an answer that comes from a deeply held belief that fighting against crime even harder will eventually straighten this country out. This is an illusion.
You can not ever get what you want by pushing against what you do not want. We can argue as people all we want about the physical reality we live in but the truth remains the same, that what you see as physical, tangible manifestation is the direct result of energetic movement. And this energetic movement is controlled by thought. That means that if you are focused on crime, you will manifest crime. You can not focus on the problem and get a solution.
When a society such as ours does not understand this, we try to control others. We believe that it is not in our power what another person does or doesn't do to us. We believe very strongly in victim hood and so, we try to control others by creating laws. And we enforce those laws with harsh punishment for all those who disobey them. Laws are not control; they are merely the physical illusion of control. They do not work in the way that they are intended to work, and they run counter to the universal truth of freedom. They will fail and they do fail.
Punishment is fighting fire with fire. It is hoping that we can teach physical and mental health to a person by demonstrating the opposite to them. Punishing someone into wellness is a contradiction in terms and you can see it clearly demonstrated by the fact that the crime rate rises with the more jails we create. It is imperative that we facilitate a safe environment for all inmates and examine ways to better prepare them for their release back into society. The de-humanizing environment of jails and prisons does not help, it compounds these challenges.
Jails are not places of rehabilitation, they are terrifying, inhumane and miserable places for criminals that will luckily be seem as shameful to us in the future. They will in fact be seen in the same light as the infamous nineteenth-century "snake-pit" insane asylums are seen by us today. We are paying dearly in many ways for these institutions which do not work. And as afar as finances are concerned, they will fall of their own economic weight.
Inmates are traumatized, even more so due to the fact that non violent prisoners are put in the same holding facilities as violent prisoners where nonviolent offenders often do in fact learn a lesson… the lesson of how to be violent. And so, our justice system is not reforming criminals, it is creating them.
There is a mass societal failure at this point in time to see the truth of what creates a criminal. We hold victims in a piteous light and perpetrators in a condemned one, which is as inaccurate as it can get. On an energetic level, both the perpetrator and the victim have the identical vibration of powerlessness. It is hard for people to grasp the concept that anger and revenge is actually a much healthier state for a person to be in than the state of powerlessness and grief.
The difference between a victim and a perpetrator is that the perpetrator has tried to move closer to wellness by physically acting out in an attempt to no longer feel powerless by committing a crime. In effect, they project their feelings of powerless out onto their victim and in doing so, feel more empowered. It is a reaction rising from fear. They do not realize that any action taken from a place of fear (without first coming mentally into a space of freedom) will only produce physical results coherent with powerlessness, such as prison. The victim however, has merely stayed in the state of fear and powerlessness without acting out. But still, the victim and perpetrator share the exact same energetic vibration.
There are arguments across the board about whether criminal behavior might be hereditary (genetic) or learned. To those of us who understand the physical and non physical interplay of reality, it is very clear that your genetics are not the dictators of your life; they are the physical expression of a blueprint of thought. If thoughts change, the DNA itself changes. In other words, it is activated and de activated. It expresses itself and remains dormant based on thoughts.
So, even if we find a genetic similarity between criminals, the truth remains the same… Crime is the result of learned behavior and learned thought patterns. Thought patterns can be "picked" up before a child is even born. But more often than not, the criminal behavior we are seeing is the result of negative childhood experience.
Over the years, we have, as a society increasingly legitimized cruelty and callousness in response to the cruelty and callousness of criminals. In a number of prisons across the country we have reduced or eliminated the opportunity for inmates to earn college degrees, restricted family visits, and restricted access to books and magazines. And now there is even a growing public desire to remove televisions and exercise facilities from prisons. When we do not understand that punishment is not the way to rehabilitate someone, we want to make sure inmates are miserable every second of the day. We no longer want them to get healthy. In our ignorance and fear, we just want them to suffer.
It is this same vengeful attitude that leads our children toward violence. The peak age for violent crime in America is now eighteen, a number which is headed downward every year. Our children grow up with the impression that it's appropriate to be violent toward other people. They are not learning compassion or reconciliation, because we are not teaching it to them. It is time to do so.
Another important thing to recognize is that people are being put in jail for drug possession. More often than not, the drug dealers themselves aren't the ones taking up room in prisons; they are too wealthy and smart to get caught. Instead, they hire addicts, to take the risks that result in confinement. And it is not the drug dealers who create the drug problem anyway.
Among the poor, drugs are a problem resulting from alienation and isolation, of feeling unknown, unimportant, powerless, and hopeless. Among the affluent, they are an attempt to keep up with or escape from a lifestyle that has nothing to do with simple human joy, friendship or connection.
The problem that needs to be addressed is not the drugs themselves, it is the negative thought patterns that lead people to use them in the first place. These issues are ones that need to be addressed within ourselves, our families, and our communities. Not in jail. If we spent a fraction of the money that we would save by removing drug addicts from prison and put that money instead into rehabilitation centers and community revitalization programs, we'd begin to put drug dealers out of business in the only way that will ever last, by drying up their "market".
Our ideas of rehabilitation usually revolve around education, job skills, and counseling. But this approach guarantees that many prisoners leave prison as merely better educated and better skilled criminals. Until criminals are taught how to know and feel their connection and value to others, learn how to shift their realities with positive thought, and are taught exactly how to live within society, no true transformation will take place.
Often as a society, we hold true to the false belief that if we empower and treat a person who has committed a crime positively, that it is the same thing as condoning what they did. It is also believed that they will be more likely to go do it again. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
The only real way to rehabilitate negative behavior is by demonstrating positive behavior. Our justice systems will begin to work, (and may even go out of business) if those who commit crimes participate in programs which are oriented around positive focus such as cognitive behavioral therapy.
We must make our jails into institutions of service instead of punishment and make it the goal of jails to show those who have committed crimes, not only that they are loved but also to guide them towards a productive, healthy, empowered future. They need to receive the message that they are believed in and needed and valuable. If we empower them, they will no longer feel powerless to their impulses. They will have control over these impulses which they often feel they have no control of, which is in fact what leads to crime in the first place.
People who are happy do not commit crime. People who feel their own worth and value do not commit crime. People who feel free and empowered do not commit crime. Our deepest nature is good. It is this innate goodness which is unlearned. No child ever raises their hand in kindergarten and says "I want to be a criminal when I grow up".
We can not forget the potential that is inherent within every individual (a potential which never goes away) and hope to make any positive change in an individual at all. For decades our justice system has been run according to the tenets of retributive justice, a model based on exile and hatred. The time has come to focus our efforts instead on transformational justice. A type of justice that focuses on bringing a criminal back into society healthier, not closing him or her out of it.
Prisons can be turned into environments that maximize opportunities for criminals to become healthy and caring human beings. In the future of humanity, there will be no need for laws, for police and for justice systems. But at this point in time, when these laws and institutions still exist (and still make people who believe it is possible to be a victim feel safe) … Instead of doing away with them, it is time to change them.
Modern medicine has seen a lot of changes in recent years, but still the dominant focus deals exclusively with specific physical ailments once they've already happened, rather than the prevention of them. Learning to access and to utilize the intensely symbiotic relationship that exists between the mind and the body can help you to maintain a healthy life. Here are five practical ways to achieve optimal health that your doctor isn't likely to share with you.
Change Your Thoughts. The role of the placebo effect has largely gone unnoticed, misunderstood and even trivialized, which is unfortunate. The mind's effect on the body (which we call the placebo effect) could be the single most important part of the healing process. Many people believe they do not have control over their own thoughts. This is not true. Changing thoughts, like anything else, simply involves practice. The things that tend to get our attention are things we do not like about our lives, or the negative thoughts, while the things that are positive about our lives go unnoticed. Change your thinking to one of optimism and gratitude. Consciously looking for things to enjoy, appreciate and be thankful for is enough to dramatically change the energy that you are projecting into your world, as well as into your body. Learn to recognize your negative thoughts and beliefs, and then replace them with thoughts that feel good to think. Soon, you will find you have let go of the thoughts that are standing in the way of your physical and mental health.
Stop Paying Attention to the News. This may seem like an extreme measure at first, but bear with me. We often get so familiar with our normal routine that we do not realize we are filling ourselves full of information that is not in line with good health. Many people get out of bed and immediately begin the day by reading the news paper or tuning into the news on television. This ensures that you will start the day off on a negative foot. News, like any other business, must find a way to sell. Shock value sells. Negativity sells. It evokes a strong reaction from the reader or watcher that ensures it will get the attention needed to stay in business. The news paints an inaccurate view of our world. We often think that it is important to pay attention to "reality" and what is going on in the world, but the extreme and negative things that are going on are not all that exists in our world. Furthermore, even more so than the amount of negative things, there are positive things going on every day. These are the things that don't make for good headlines. When we hear or see something negative, but can't do anything about it, it fills us with the feeling of powerlessness and fear. It helps form an inaccurate belief that the world we live in is one which we should be afraid of. We also form the belief that we can be a victim at any moment. This way of seeing the world is incredibly detrimental to all aspects of mental and physical health.
Eat for Health. You are what you eat. When you are in a positive mind set, you will find that you gravitate towards foods which are a match to your overall health. When you are in a negative mind set, you will gravitate towards foods which are not a match to your overall health. It remains true that physically taking steps toward health is no match for taking mental steps toward health. However, when you are nourishing your body with healthy things, it can definitely help you to achieve mental health as well. Realize that feeding your body in a healthy way is one way of showing love to yourself. Try to have fun expanding your palette. No matter what you've heard, healthy food does not have to taste bad. It can even taste better than unhealthy food. Deliberately look for restaurants with healthy options on their menus. Eat whole foods, fresh vegetables and fresh fruits. Eat less processed foods, and get help to slowly overcome your attachments to sugar, alcohol, caffeine and other "junk" foods. This should not be a stressful transition to make. The stress involved in dieting often only worsens the problem instead of solving it. So, set attainable goals and make the transition from unhealthy foods to healthy foods a gradual one. In no time, you will notice a difference in your energy level and your overall health.
Find an Exercise You Love to Do. It is no secret that regular exercise plays a large role in health. You are living life in this physical body, so...use it! You do not have to be athletic to exercise and it does not have to be a source of stress for you. In fact, exercise for the sake of exercise when you don't enjoy it is detrimental to health. No one likes to force themselves to exercise. The way to get around the stress involved with exercise is to make exercise simply a part of something else you love to do. If you do not yet have a particular exercise you enjoy, you can start by searching for an activity that incorporates exercise that raises your heart rate for at least 30 minutes. You may try several activities before finding the one that really fits. Any type of exercise turns from a burden into a joy when you are focusing on what you love to do. For example, people who love being in water can exercise by swimming and because they love water so much, they will look forward to the exercise they are doing. The focus involved in a game of racquet ball, for example, can make players forget the amount of exercise they are actually getting. Physical exercise can also be a great way to get out and socialize in the community. Exercising with other people makes the process of exercise not only easier but more enjoyable. A lot of people are looking for other people to exercise with. If you integrate exercise into your daily routine, it will lead to a longer, healthier and more fulfilling life.
Put Out Into the World What You Want to Get Back. Simply put, you get back what you give out. We have a tendency to expect others to change the way that they are thinking and acting without realizing that the only person we can ever change is ourselves. The interesting dichotomy is that the minute you change the way you think and act, the world outside of you will also change. Begin to experiment with this by practicing random acts of kindness. Some good examples include: writing an affirming note with a message such as "you are worthy of all this life has to give" and putting it anonymously on someone's car windshield or opening someone's door for them, or saving left over food when you go out to dinner and giving it to someone who is homeless. These simple activities empower you. They help you to see that you can make a positive change in the world. You will start to feel capable and proactive. The positive way you will feel as a result of doing this will reflect out into all aspects of your body and mind. You will begin to notice very quickly that you are being treated the same way you are treating others and there is nothing quite like a supportive environment to help you achieve your optimum health.
Taking steps towards your mental and physical health, along with making your health a priority, enables you to live the fulfilling and joyful life which you deserve to live. Your life is an open canvass. Enjoy it and make a masterpiece of it. Let your physical and mental health pave the way.
At our most fundamental level, the human body and the human mind are not separate from the rest of our environment. Everything that is, is comprised of energy. So in actuality, we are this energy, which is vibrating in such a way that it differentiates us as human instead of a table or any number of other things we see in our every day lives. It was not until the mid-20th century that quantum physicists first identified this "energy field" which seemed to lie at the heart of existence. Science identified it as an omnipresent energetic substructure. And they called it the Zero-Point field.
Electromagnetic radiation can be visualized as waves flowing through space at the speed of light. These waves are not waves of anything substantive, but instead are ripples in a theoretically defined field. These waves, though not substantive, carry energy and momentum. Each wave has a specific direction, frequency and a polarization state. Each wave represents a ''propagating mode of the electromagnetic field.''
Quantum physics predicts that all of space must be filled with electromagnetic zero-point fluctuations. Zero-point energy is the vibrational energy retained by molecules even at a temperature of absolute zero. The origin of zero-point energy discovery is the Heisenberg uncertainty principle. The Heisenberg uncertainly principle states that, with regards to a moving particle such as an electron, the more precisely a person measures the position of that particle, the less exact the best possible measurement of its momentum (mass times velocity), will be. This means that a kind of parallel uncertainty exists between measurements which involve time and energy. Since temperature is a measure of the intensity of molecular motion, molecules would be expected to come to a stop at absolute zero. And, if molecular motion were to cease altogether, the atoms would each have a precisely known location and velocity (zero).
The uncertainty principle states that this fore mentioned scenario cannot occur, since precise values of both position and velocity of an object cannot be known simultaneously. Thus, even molecules at absolute zero must have some zero-point energy. The exciting part about this discovery is this: The "uncertainty" inherent in this principle is not due to any flaws in measurement which are correctable, rather, it reflects an intrinsic quantum vagueness inherent in the fundamental nature of energy and matter.
Matter springs forth into physical reality from the wave nature of the quantum field. Everything in our universe, no matter what its size, is part of and is comprised of the zero- point field. Matter itself is made of waves. All matter in the universe is interconnected as and by quantum waves which have no boundary. They are infinite. To the spiritual community, this means "zero-point" is a state of perfect resonance that contains all of the frequencies of all that is and ever was, which equates to the simultaneous presence and absence of all possibilities. The zero-point field is the scientific basis of oneness.
As a scientific concept, the existence of zero-point energy is not controversial. However, whether or not we have the ability to physically harness it is still controversial. If the technology does exist, it can not yet be scientifically proven to exist, as is the case with many new technologies.
Zero-point field energy is limitless. Harnessing zero-point energy would mean incredible advancement for our world view, our technology, our cosmology and our knowledge of existence and reality. The exploration of the zero-point field even has the potential of eventually unifying science and spirituality.
Living things, (being part of the zero-point field) emit radiation (which has frequency). This radiation emitted by living things can be seen and measured as photons. Photons are the smallest particles of light. One of the most essential sources of these photon emissions in living things is DNA. DNA may in fact use the frequencies giving off this light to drive all processes within the living body. And what's more, the frequencies which are giving off this light may be responsible for the communicative cohesion between species, which science can not yet explain, such as the way a school of fish is able to achieve instantaneous, synchronized movement. These frequencies may also account for extra sensory perception. The zero-point field can account for such unexplained communicative capabilities because the zero-point field is the space of collective consciousness. This suggests that our "harnessing" of the zero-point field (though still physically in its infancy), can happen and does happen every day through our thoughts. The implications of this are vast. This means we create reality through our consciousness and therefore thoughts, which gives us the inherent yet not fully realized ability to make anything exactly as we wish it to be… including ourselves.
Because the zero-point field is the space of collective consciousness, the zero-point field is an informational field. Our bodies "read" this information and then interpret it for us into physical reality. In other words, it interprets from the information in the zero-point field what we then see, taste, touch, feel, hear and even ARE. This means consciousness and even memory are not functions of the body. Consciousness and thought supersede our bodies. And memory is simply retrieved from the zero-point field by our brains.
The brain is like a quantum computer. If thought and memory exist outside the confines of the body (as part of the totality of the zero-point field) and physical structure synchronizes with the information and frequencies it interprets from the zero-point field, this means that your consciousness and the thoughts you think can determine what your body becomes. This is in fact the reason for the placebo effect. The zero-point field effects living organisms by restoring equilibrium and helping the body to achieve homeostasis. It helps restore our vitality.
The zero-point field, when activated with intention, can actually create what some would call "miracles". For example, if a person has been diagnosed with "terminal" cancer, the condition is usually addressed from purely the Newtonian physics modality of treating the tangible, physical symptom. According to this modality, it is seen as an incurable disease. But, if the same problem is addressed from a modality which utilizes the zero-point field using intention, it can be as good as re-writing the blue print of that person's body. You can re-write the energetic blue print of that person's body by deactivating the frequencies within the body which are causing the cancer in the first place, and this can lead to complete remission of a condition which traditional medicine called "incurable".
It is time that the main stream scientific and medical community focused more of their attention on quantum technologies, especially ones which relate to healing. The zero-point field is the new frontier of medicine. Healing modalities which incorporate a zero pint field approach will prove to be wildly successful. And soon, zero-point field energy will be widely understood by society. It will be recognized as one of the greatest leaps in understanding of man kind as a whole.