Looking to complete something or finish what you start is an important element of creating success, except for when it comes to things where there is never going to be an end. And one of the reasons that people suffer is that they tend to look for a point of ended-ness in things that have no end. They look to get things done, when there is no way to get it done.
One of the most common pitfalls of a person’s early spiritual practice (and when I say early spiritual practice, consider that a person could potentially be practicing spirituality and remain in the early stages of spiritual practice for an entire lifetime) is that they look to reach some point of ended-ness. They work incredibly hard, often making themselves miserable trying to reach a finish-line. That finish line could be something like enlightenment or complete integration and wholeness or being totally healed or being so fulfilled that you have no more desire or being totally conscious with no more unconsciousness within their being. Essentially, they strive relentlessly to be done in some way so that they can finally feel good. What they don’t realize until they experience years of never being able to reach that finish line is that the finish line doesn’t inherently exist. They are chasing a receding horizon line.
Before I continue with the rest of this article, I should probably tell you that I am not one of those beings who is relaxed and who loves being in the present moment and whom is all about the journey and not the destination. I am a super driven, achievement oriented being. The feeling of accomplishment and the potential of reaching a state of complete mastery is my single favorite thing. For this reason, what I am about to say comes with inherent credibility. When it comes to certain things, you need to hold to the goal loosely. You need to use it as a North Star and keep pointed in its direction. Fall in love with the potential of reaching that goal and with the possibility of achievement, knowing full well that you may never, ever make it there. Indeed, no one may ever make it there. When this is the case, your goals become a thing which dictates your direction in life. Not the measure by which you determine your success or happiness or lack thereof. It is also a literal guarantee that you will do things differently because suddenly, the satisfaction of the journey or process actually does matter. If the means are crappy, they are not justified by the ends, if the ends never come.
Let me explain just three of the things which may never have an “end”.
Enlightenment may never have an end. Enlightenment is complete awakening and complete awareness. It is to be able to resonate at the same frequency as source itself and as such, to be aware of what source is consciously aware of (this includes self-realization). It is to be able to perceive universal objective truth (which is the amalgamation of all subjective perspectives). Here is the problem with that. Humans tend to project the idea onto what they call Source or God or the Universe at large that it is all knowing, that it is entirely conscious and aware and that people are playing a game of catch up to Source’s state of completion. This is not accurate. If it were, no universal expansion would be occurring. There would also be no purpose to life itself, being in and of itself a mechanism through which learning, awareness, evolution and progression occurs. Source itself has a subconscious. It is continuously becoming more and more self-aware. It is in the process of awakening in and of itself. So any enlightenment that can be attained is gone the next second because that barrier of knowledge within Source mind itself is constantly expanding. There is no such thing as enlightened retirement or spiritual ended-ness. And even if there could be, would the universe choose that ended-ness over the exploration of all possibilities? If you could get this, every bit of awareness you gain would be an experience of ‘the better it gets, the better it gets’.
Another thing which may never have an end is healing. The spiritual field and self-help field and psychology field is full to the brim with people desperate to heal completely. They all want that one answer that is going to be the answer and that fixes the things they feel are unhealed in one go. They become completely discouraged to find layer after layer after layer after layer that needs to be healed. Because they never reach their imaginary finish line of healing, they feel discouraged, a sense of futility and a serious lack of self-esteem, as if they are just totally messed up. The entire universe, which you are a part of and also a fractal of, is in a state of fragmentation. If you could truly grasp the degree of this fragmentation and if you could grasp that other ‘things’ including other people in the universe were a part of you, you would stop thinking this was a one life-time endeavor. It would overwhelm you to such a degree that you would stop thinking you could fix it all.
Also, you don’t have to heal something completely to experience an improvement. Many people have an attitude when it comes to healing like they have to completely finish healing in order to feel good. This is not the case; every bit of healing will bring more and more improvement. More and more relief. Better and better life circumstances. So, if you looked at healing like a lifelong process, instead of rushing to get it all completed, you would have the intention and desire but not desperation to fix it all. Each time it became obvious that something needed to be healed, you’d feel excitement that an opportunity for things to be even better for you has arrived. And every time you experienced healing to any pattern or layer within your mind, emotions or body would be an experience of ‘the better it gets, the better it gets’.
Another thing which may never end is desire. Even the desire to not have desire, is a desire. Desire is the primary element that is creating both universal and personal expansion. It is not the devil as you have been encouraged to believe. You only suffer relative to desire if you think the day will ever come that you do not desire more or if you desire something that you think you cannot have. A desire cannot exist in you if it is not meant to be aligned with and thus actualized. And desire will never end. No matter how much you have and no matter what you attain, you will always, always want more and want something else. Joy must be separated from desire. Lining up with your desire can cause joy. But joy can be in the continual expansion and amendment of desire. If you know it will never end, a relaxation about attaining all that you desire will occur.
Make peace with desire. Make peace with the contrast (the wanted and unwanted) which gives birth to desire. If you accept all of this, you don’t have to make the achievement of all of your desires that goal line of happy ended-ness. Instead, allowing yourself to continually align with and follow your desires through life can in and of itself be what induces joy because it will be an experience of ‘the better it gets, the better it gets’.
Now that you are getting a feeling for this concept, I want you to ask yourself the question relative to whatever it is that you want to get done… Why do you want to get it done? What do you imagine will be the outcome or consequence if you do not? Can you see any resistance inherent in that? Really look inside yourself for the answer without making your desire to get it done wrong in and of itself. The desperate desire to get things done may just be an attitude of resistance to something. For this reason, it may benefit you to watch my video titled: Urgent, Deal with Your Resistance Before You Do Anything Else. Then ask yourself, what if I knew today with a 100% guarantee that there is no way to get it done and so I am never going to get it done? What would you do differently today and tomorrow and the next day?
You will be able to find your joy in life when you ask this question. The reason is that the people who experience genuine life satisfaction are the ones who would continue doing something and continue following the North Star of a certain desire or goal, even if they know they may never achieve it. It is in fact an indication of their love for the doing of something instead of the doneness of that thing. For example, Jacques Cousteau may have had the goal of exploring all the world’s oceans. It didn’t matter if he didn’t accomplish it in his lifetime, that wouldn’t stop him from going for it because he loved the doing of it. Each time, the better it got, the better it got. Each time he experienced more.
Another example is that a person who loves shadow work is not looking to get rid of their shadow or reach a state of total consciousness. Even if total conscious awareness is a goal of theirs, they follow it like a North Star they may never reach. The reason they keep doing it day after day is because they love knowing and seeing more and more. They love the outcomes. Each time, the better it gets, the better it gets. Each time, their shadow work causes them to be aware of more. The idea that there is endless possibility for them to become more and more aware each day; and a never-ending supply of things to become aware of, is exciting to them.
Consider that if you desperately need it to be done or to end, you don’t like the doing of it, whatever it is. And you did not come to this existence to hate the process of the doing of your life.