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What am I pretending to not know?

(Answer In The Comments Below )
From "100 Of The Most Powerful Questions You Can Ask Yourself"

Nothing has the power to completely alter perspective and therefore your thoughts and actions and life quite like a question. Inquiry leads to understanding. The quality of the answers we arrive at, correspond directly to the quality of question we ask. The better the question, the better the answer. One of the most important things to realize about a question is that a person learns far, far more from the process and work involved in answering a question than from the answer itself. This is why spiritual teachers throughout history (including myself) have tended to pose so many questions to their students rather than to simply offer a direct answer. For this reason, I have selected a collection of 100 of the most powerful questions that you can ask yourself.

Make sure to take time to carefully consider each question that is posed in order to meaningfully answer them. And don’t forget to come back to these questions again and again throughout your life, especially whenever you are feeling stuck, because the answers will most likely change over the course of your life and also cause you to change your course in life.

- Teal Swan

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That I not want what I think I want but only want it for power. That I’m really a small inferior person and not like the heroins and hero’s I always wanted to be like as I grew up. That I’m more the side character who is just in the background living a mediocre life without any significant talents or desired. 

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Afraid of my light, my power. That if I were to step into it I would be revealed as a fraud and would be completely abandoned once and for all. That my ego is bigger than anything I actually have to offer. 

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That everythings a mess and wrong and has to change. (Im pretending like everything is fine) and i know I pretend my mess is other peoples fault, while its mostly my own (unhealed trauma response pain chain reaction stuff) but we are all guilty in this so who cares who I blame, doesnt nake that much of a difference. I also pretend to know what is right and what Im doing, but I dont. Not at all. XD 

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What's truly bothering me. 

That I'm most likely a shitty mom, and even if Ide give my all and be at my best, Ide most likely still mess it up. And I just ain't good enough to be a mom.

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it's a sense of disappointment. like I feel everything is so hard. like what I want is hard to get and far from me. that there are obstacles that always have been there and through all this journey of healing and becoming aware I still have not addressed the real shit.

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