Phredmarie

Ooo, the "sitting on the fence" quote. Yeah, I wish we just dealt with real issues, instead screwing around picking teams. I too lean more to one side. Not long ago I posed the great question of how I could help close the gap. Don't you know, life gave me an opportunity to work with that. I've been living on the other side for 5 years now. All I can say is I understand why the say and do what they do and it's actually all setup by our system I think. It's time for me to move on now though. I'm hoping to Manifest movement this year. 🙏💪✌💞

I so appreciate what she says about all the absorption of information. Could it be avoidance... I had the experience once of sharing a childhood trauma and what I've learned from sharing it, and how I went from victim to survivor. After my speaking commitment was over, a young gal came to me in tears, and told me that she appreciated my sharing so much, because she now felt hope and believed she was going to be OK. In that very moment I literally thought, if my trauma can help people like this, I would have willingly signed up for it. Ok, ego right. But it was a definite shift inside my whole being. 🙏💪💞

I don't know if I'm replying to you proper in this app, but I know what you mean. I've had people tell me I'm an artist and I'm always like, naahhh. I'm just a photographer or listener or watcher, an appreciator of art. Appreciating beauty and capturing it is not being an artist. It's probably in us, we've just closed part of it up somewhere?

I've always felt stuck in the middle. Probably something to do with divorced parents. Anyway, I've always seen that there a two sides and more to every coin if you will. I abhor the narrative that one must pick a side or they will fall for anything. I believe picking a side is often a cop out. Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right. I've wanted to help bridge this gap, but I'm overwhelmed by it too. Like it's more like sociopaths to the left of me, narcissists to the right. Then of course I look inward and I'm like OMG am I a narcissist, OCD, ADHD, psychopath myself. I've called myself many things and I believe I may have narcissism injury. I'm all over the place. I've lost my center. Ok, that all just went off the rails. 🤪

She was a mess and never really figured herself out. Trapped inside herself. Ugh, I don't like this. I'm not ready to give up, but is that what I will ultimately do. Is that really what my mother did? I feel nauseous. 😪

Afraid of my light, my power. That if I were to step into it I would be revealed as a fraud and would be completely abandoned once and for all. That my ego is bigger than anything I actually have to offer.