Ask Yourself...

To the studio or to the beach.

Edited August 5, 20224 yr by User1645655297

If I had tooo.... 

OK let's imagine my place got flooded because some pipes in the wall broke. 

I first of all be super pissed... Now it depends first of all on the weather.. 

If it was cold and rainy, my first stop after fetching coffee and a small something to eat, be the library. Ide take a walk at the river talk to strangers, make Fotos, write, sketch. 

And Ide love to go where there is music or acting, or something like a poetry slam. Maybe Ide go on a dateXD

Like just find someone who wants to go to the same place also and have a conversationXD

And Ide buy myself flowers because I love myselfXD, and than give them my date as a presentXD because maybe I love them tooXD

Probably a bunch of roses. 

And Ide like to eat chocolate cake. 

And play hide and seek in some old building, with my dateXD

This sounds like the most beautiful and fun day ever, I would never want it to end. I be wanting to stay up all nightXD and watch the stars. With that person. 

OK if it was warm 

Ide be heading out into the inner city also, sitt at a pond, write, sketch, talk to strangers. Walk through the pond (even though Noone ever does that) Ide probably sitt at the pond with my feet in it. And go on writing like this. 

Than Ide fetch a coffee or eat at my favorite breakfast buffet. And Ide like to have a dateXD

I think Ide like to do alot of stupid shit with this person, for no other reason than "chaos" and FUN:) 

Wed try to open locked doors that we think are interesting, play hide and seek in clothing stores, be trying on what the other person has collected, slide down the stairsXD and upset strangersXD

Afterwards we eat some small spicy delicious deserts. And shop spices and natural herbs at a market.

I think I probably like to get closer with this person somewhere more hidden. Ide like to ground myself, lay somewhere outside on the ground, look up into the sky. 

Ide like to wonder around.. Sit in someone else's garden have some tea there with my date and pretend it was my own garden. Not a nicely kept one, a wild garden like my English grandmother always liked to have. 

If we ever got caught doing any of this run away gigglingXD

In the evening Ide like to go to a car cinema, cause I've never been there.

Now... I have a Baby and how beautiful all of this sounds, it ain't possible XD maybe not all in one day but maybe I could do one of these many things every other day. 

This was a fun question. The best question ever. 

I would probably go camping for a week or 2, followed by killing myself finally. Freedom from the misery that is my false, fictional, nonexistent (according to your sick field) life. 

First, as long as I live here in No(r)way, I will travel to my favorite place near the sea, to a morain called Mølen.

There I will sit and meditate on lava-rocks while the waves are crashing against the stony beach.

And I am bringing my trusty camera and taking pictures. 📷 I love photographing!

Then I will clean up garbage. A lot of plastic find it's way to the beaches and rocks, suffocating wildlife..

(It's a bird sanctuary, protected by law.)

It is especially magical in winter. Imagine this weather-bitten and barren landscape covered in snow (...)❄️

(Of course, then it will be too cold to meditate outside anyway. Or maybe not..haven't tried it yet, and there is a saying here:

''There is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing!'')

And when I finally depart for a new place, It will be conscious community living to the max!

There is no other way to live! It will end the isolation, the loneliness, the feeling of being cut off from people!

So, no more sitting in my cave like a hermit! Even my dad (r.i.p) warned me of becoming one.. a cave dweller..

But first, I have to integrate my selves completely, and then I am ready for the interdependence of a community.

To be a resource and to be an active member of that community! Live life the way it was meant to be lived!

Talking, hugging, eating, loving and creating together with my real family! Lifting each other up to greater heights!

Teaching, helping, caring, laughing, crying, dancing and living! Every day! 

So be it!🫂🫂🫂😄💞🥰🫂💖🫂

I would go to somewhere they do a fashion show and be with creative people.

I would go to the river, get coffee & lunch, bring my laptop + sketchbook w/ pens & markers, go for walks, & choose places to explore which inspire me. I'd sketch, explore & come up with ideas for new projects. Then, upon returning home I'd relax. My studio is at home, so I'd spend some time working on my current project in the evening (my fav time to create)!

I'd go to a beautiful ceremony space immersed in nature where all my friends are and we'd do dancing, connection, drink cacao and just be messy human beings.

This would be a challenge for me. I used to fill my out-of-home days at an office. I now work at my home-office all day. If money was no object, I would find a library, or bookshop, maybe with a shady garden to read in. Maybe it would be a university library or lecture hall where I could explore all the subjects I've never studied. Thank you for the question.

Go to the beach and watch every sunrise and sunset possible 

Work at a wildlife rehabilitation center (what I want to do now), travel around the world visiting zoos, sanctuaries, rescues, aquariums, museums, and photographing wildlife.

If I had to stay out all day, every day.

I would visit family and friends.

Depends on the season and whether I had any money, car, I’d visit with family since I’ve lost all my friends. I would try to turn lemons into lemonade and always 2 birds one stone. So you see, no, I’m sorry. I cannot, will not, leave my house all day. I tried to leave, but thought hell no I think I’d rather stay.

This is the easiest question ever. Because I've been dreaming of beeing homeless for like 7 years. I've been way to often codependent (and sincerely afraid for my life) on psychopath. Only because of my attachment to an apartment and the modern way of living, and things. I realise things don't make me happy at all, they give me anxiety and stress. I like to buy them and hate to own them, consumerism is the only joy there is in this "world"XD Also I realised I sincerely don't manage to fit in. It's my inner psychopath that's so fed up, it wants to banish society at large. You know like indegeneous groups banish psychopaths who don't abide to rules and don't fit in, Ile banish myself (cause yall are psychopaths) also because personal freedom really is threatened and not a given anymore. Child protective services in Germany are the most strict and worst. They don't help at all, they terrorize and traumatize people (and also don't protect children) all at the same time and really the simplest thing gets you in trouble, and they do nothing for you, nothing. (I prefer a country less "rich" and less controlled and strategized) where people organize themselves more often and I don't belong here, people her are intensely focused on having things and on money and status. (even the people who arrive here, arrive here for these very reasons) but atleast foreigners mostly from countrys in the south are talkative and open. Germany is not my cup of tea never has.. It's not that I don't like or cherish my things (of like I don't want to own anything), but I cherish them more if they are less, less to manage. I also realise how I have much more energy spending a day in nature, VS. In the City, the one makes me be present, energized, satisfied, happy, feel like I am alive and belong and do something meaningful, healthy and pleasurable the other one gives me anxiety and what not, stress, feeling alienated. Some people feel safe in "the world" I don't. I feel safe in a forest. This world trains you away from your body and your humanness and healthyness. 

I honestly feel more belonging with a bird or a tree or grass or a wolf, than with other humans. A forest owns me and makes me feel special and beautiful. 

And if I just go, life becomes an adventure, and I become like willow. Even if I feel lost or alone or afraid outside. I feel it. And I start to feel belonging with everything (even with other humans again). Also trees don't lie or gaslight you and take you further away from your inner compass. 

Here it's like I'm trying to live a life that absolutely not authentic, beeing like everyone around me only to belong (Wich I still don't) Wich is what I also did wrong in pregnancy (instead of having fun and filling up my heart) and wonder why I'm failing and feeling like shit not even knowing why I feel that way. Feeling gaslight all the time, all the time. Wich makes me not feel my feelings. You are not alone there are people everywhere XD and you have so much safety and what not this is just it. And yeah I feel like shit why though?XD

Ive been scapegoated all my life, really like everywhere, and faced struggles with overly dominant authority, also I've been left alone all my life. And I'm putting myself in that position. Not anymore. I need to find my crowd. Or just beXD. Crowded by trees:) Exit. RebellXD, less rebellious and in a more authentic and healthy way. Still salty thoughXD and yes a bit rebellious...

The Jugendamt wants me to find a bigger apartment (it's also. Mandatory) my apartment has only one room XD let's see what they say if I have no room anymoreXD(if they'll be able to locate meXD.... I've been searching for a new place allready than I stoped, looked at how I could "escape" for real, and put way more effort into that.. Know it's repeating just a bit more intense.. 

I need to leave anyways.. I'm not vaccinating my childXD.. Also not letting my child put up with that government shit.. Wearing masks and all that when that gets trendy again... I'm not staying for this. 

And yes I do have mental health issues, feeling way stronger and everything outdoors. And no I can't shit on the vaccines, can't vaccinate my child. Cause You know that's wrong. 

You have 2 options like 1. You've failed already, fail in other things also, become more comfortable.. Maybe than everything gets better. 

You've done things wrong. 2 wrongs don't make it right. Pick yourself up. Stand your ground be authentic. Repair what's been broke. 

I look online for a new place... Noone wants to give me an apartment.. Because I'm like a single mom and what not. And than I see all these people who also look for an apartment

Do I want to work and fight for something (anyone barely gets a chance on?) I don't actually even want? NO.!!!! Not a single itsy bitsy inch of interest within my soul. Completely fully uninterested. 

I want to own my truth and feel free to speak my truth. In Germany you must be afraid of the Jugendamt if you actually say the truth. Everything is so pretentious at the same time everyone is starving for realness. Everything's just weird and wrong and offXD

I also don't want to vaccinate my child, vaccinations are mandatory. (the jugendamt will take your kid if you don't) because I genuinely feel it will hurt and damage him. 

Also don't know weither to let him run through the school system. (for the same reason) I don't even want to go back to school myself (and they want to make me too) 

I want him to grow up like Tarzan. (wich also Noone fancys over here, except for some immigrantsXD a child is best silent and sitting still, never get wet or dirty or beak something or touch things that don't belong to you, even though it's 2024)

I would tidy everything up. Pack up the most important and practical things. Maybe like have one box of things I don't want to take along neither want to sell and store that at my cousins or uncles place. Sell all my shit. Leave and never come back ever again. 

I would walk the streets around the country side, sleep in a tent or hammock in small forests. Go swimming in lakes and rivers. And just experience and wittnes nature. Make small camp fires, cook something, go fishing, climb on trees, collect herbs, and I would feel my feelings. I would walk alot carry my son on my shoulders or back. Carry my equipment in a wagon around my hips. In small towns throughout our way, we would eat in restaurants just for fun.. 

I don't use a carriage for my child anyways Cary him. On my shoulders all the time, seldomly in a carrier on my back. While also carrieng our stuff.

Someone I consider to be enlightened and a reincarnation of Jesus (he's genuinely kind and strong, an actual genuine consistent "truthseeker" With a small following, exactly as prophecied, he's just like Jesus described in the Bible, only he doesn't believe in God or the bible:) (although I don't actually believe in reincarnation, if I did though I feel like I'm a reincarnation of Maria MagdalenaXD, though I did everything differently this time, not walking up to a master for forgiveness, figuring things out myself, only I sadly failed) whatever, he told me. We cannot all leave than there will be none of us left. 

Maybe he's right, I though may live an authentic life! 

And who is he to tell me I shouldn't leave, Jesus was also just a human beeing. And he is not my master, and anyways Ive failed us:) he's actually someone for me to consider a leader. Genuinely. Though I've failed him as I said, banishing myself. Also setting myself free. 

And the better it gets, the better it gets. Healing. 

Life is worthy, fuck spirituality. 

Yall know my father the sociopath (introverted spiritual psychopath) he was a complete disaster.. Aswell as absient. He still though held his spiritual ideals high, as a coping mechanism. I allways thought every dark has his light. But no. All this did on a subconscious level, was give me the feeling I will never be spiritual or enlightened enough to be meaningful or receive a tiny bit of actuall love or apreciation. Beeing seen only once (not used) this is why I became obsessed with spirituality while at the same time extremely resistant and dispising it. 

Here is a scene in my head Wich comforted me because it describes in pictures how this emotionally actually feels. A little bit. 

She heard him coming down the cellar floor and asked exited as allways: do you see me. He smiled cold and calculated: I see you allways. Not looking at her, he never did. He knew as for as long as she believed that lie she would be of use and it didn't cost him much to fake smile.