Tanya Lee

Hello! Nice to be back! With regards to AI, will a sentient machine obtain a soul? Can a human reincarnate as a robot or an android? Will a sentient AI take over the whole Universe and become like God? Like replace Source and make the whole Universe synthetic?🤖 Questions, questions.. I see some similarities with Battlestar Galactica, where the Cylons (a synthetic race) goes to war against humanity, or the Borg in Star Trek. A more benevolent outcome would be like Star Wars, with C3-PO and R2-D2. Helpers and allies of humans. When it comes to climate change, there's alot of talking about ''The Green Shift'', where we are rapidly depleting Mother Earth for precious metals to make the whole world electric. But the dilemma we face is that by destroying the environment to mend the climate, we are harming the planet anyway.. And corporations and governments have the power to dictate the future. For instance where people are forced to implement climate-friendly tech no matter the cost. (Smart-homes etc). No questions asked, just obey and be happy.. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.. We cannot separate Nature, the environment and the climate. Quo Vadis humanity? Do we choose Love or misery? That's the Big Question. Right now we are nuking ourselves in the foot. If we are continuing down this path, there will be misery. We are being bombarded with (dis)information in a pace never before seen in history. We feel like we are being drowned in ones and zeros.. I see some changes though. More and more people are pausing from the digital domain and are going back to analog. Like reading real books, listening to cassettes and vinyl, putting down their phones and talking face to face. It's a kind of slowing down time to a more relaxing way of living! A way of being more in tune with the surroundings. After all, the Universe is analog! We are currently living in Kali Yuga, the hardest age. The age of separation and narcissism. Only by coming together and see each other as one, we will transition to The Golden Age, or Satya Yuga. We have a job to do. About reincarnation..I wonder, is it possible to reincarnate into the past? And, can a person jump timelines? Like if the timeline you are on are a bad one, can you shift to another, or do you have to stay on the current one? I wonder what would be the best way to deal with that..knowing that somewhere down the road something challenging could happen. Maybe change yourself so that the outcome will be different? Instead of just go ''so what..there's nothing I can do about it''. Well, if the outcome changes, maybe that's timeline-jumping! Btw, this was a long post! ⏱️

You have been through alot of hardships, Teal! But you are the strongest person I know of!💪 ''If it doesn't kill you, it will make you stronger!'' You are the inspiration that humanity needs! I am reading a book right now, called ''Divided. Why we're living in an age of walls''. It tells about the separation of humanity, about why we make borders and fences all around the world.. The ''us and them'' mentality which unfortunately divides us. Why humanity fears one another and doesn't understand that we are one.. Wars and hunger, people dying on the beaches of Europe because they dream about a better life.. The nationalism and racism that runs rampant in the world right now. The deep cavity between the ''have's'' and the ''have-not's'' where you see wealthy people close themselves in whith gates, alarms and armed guards because they are afraid that poor people will rob them of their riches.. On one side you have the poor who live in shacks, and on the other side of the same town you have luxurious high-rises with swimming-pools and 4 cars.. No wonder we became hosts for the virus. But have we learned?!? Not yet, it seems.. We must reach rock bottom before we can awaken..! Every person will have their catastrophe.. Look at the earthquake in Turkey and Syria. 50.000 dead.. look at the war in Europe. The Earth is shaking us.. WHEN WILL WE LISTEN???? As long as there are wars, disasters and hunger, people will flee. We have to find the best solutions for everyone, a win-win-situation. It's up to us all to figure out how.

Very interesting question from the first guy! Spirit guides can of course see our past lifetimes so their perspective is very different from ours. Do they know how it is to live in 3D? Because I feel that humanity ''down here'' is doing the hard work with all our sufferings and wars and all that, while they are sitting ''up there'' safe from ailments and harm. But, if they learn from us and we learn from them, then we are each others ''teachers'' so to speak. That will give them an insight into life in 3D even if they cannot fully ''walk in our shoes'' and we will get an insight into life in ''heaven'' even if we cannot fully ''walk in their shoes''. We are all Source though, only seen from different places. I understand that their point of view is more objective because they are more direct in contact with Source Energy than us. We tend to forget where we are coming from, but our experiences, though subjective, are as valid as theirs because we are Source as well, even if we think we are not. We all have a piece of the Puzzle! It's up to humanity what we will do with the information we receive. Act on it or discard it. Then I listened to the girl who wanted to be an artist and the feeling she had of having to concentrate on one specific trade. We all have heard of the ''one-trick pony'' or the ''jack-of-all-trades'' Some will excel in one thing only while others can be prolific in many things. For myself, I make music and take pictures. I have no difficulty in doing both. It just means that I can make my own records and the cover-art as well! When it came to photography, I took a big chance and joined a world-wide contest ''Cewe Photo Award''. Even though I didn't win anything, It was fun to put myself out there for the world to see my pictures! I will continue with photography until my eyesight is so poor that I cannot see what I'm taking pictures of anymore! Rofl! Practice makes perfect! And regards to the music part, my trilogy is now finished. Now the work to put my music out there begins. It's a more convoluted process because of record contracts, legality and all that jazz. Monetizing, copyrighting and so on. It's like walking in a totally unknown territory full of pitfalls and winding roads. But that's part of the thrill of it all! Different things can go hand in hand like a loving couple! I have heard of people that have gone tired of one thing and will try ''another outfit''. Just be open to the impulses which come through.😉

Wow Teal, you are on FIRE today!🔥 The way to success is often littered with failures. When you ''fail'' it just mean you have to change your approach, you have to learn from the mishaps. It's a learning curve! Then you will understand that the way you approached something was not the right way to do it. You then start anew and learn from it, so that you will not do the same mistake twice. Or maybe you should be doing something completely different. If you continue to fail, maybe that's Universe's way to tell you that the path you are taking is not the right one! Was it Einstein who said that you cannot solve a problem with the same mindset which created it in the first place? But, as history has shown us, humans often never learn from their mistakes and failures.. Sooo, they repeat it. Over and over and over again, until someone says: Wait a minute! Stop! Go back and see why you fail! Better to do something else than to be mediocre for the rest of your life! If you can't sing then you can't sing! If you can't cook, let someone else do it instead! You will understand your talents and gifts as well as your shortcomings! Not everyone can be Gordon Ramsey or Beyonce. But even they started out as amateurs. They did what they loved to do, and even if they got knocked down they got back up again! Like Teal said, don't think or worry too much about if you're going to be this Big Kahuna someday in the future, just do the (small) things you love. Be here now! The future is not set! And when it comes to shadow work, it can be like an addiction. I have heard of people who meditated for 5-6 hours every fecking day, because they couldn't bear to live in the flesh.. I once heard them say: if I don't meditate or do yoga, I would be a bad person.. So, like all tools, there comes a time when they become a crutch, a hindrance. You have to know when they are useful, or else they will backfire! Too much of a thing can be hazardous to your wellbeing. Moderation, moderation, moderation is the key! That's why all things have two sides; one dark and one light. A small flame can be very cozy, while it can get out of control and become a raging inferno! A breeze can be soothing, while a hurricane will just blow you away! Meditation can be very beneficial for you, but too much will make you forget yourself completely. Is self-hate the reason for bigotry and racism? Do people hate others because they remind the haters of the part of themselves that they hate? When the self-hater is a protector, does that mean that they feel they have to be protected against others? If that is the case, then self-love is the only option. When you learn to love yourself, you can no longer push others away. When you learn to love those parts of you that you have rejected or disowned, then it is easier to take others as part of you as well! That with Buddha is interesting, because people have misunderstood Samsara and thought that they had to break free of it, meaning ending reincarnation. Transcending flesh all together, because they thought that life is suffering. That brings us back to meditation and monks sitting in a cave somewhere doing nothing else. The loathe the contrast between flesh and spirit. They only want to sit with ''their nose in the sky'', while their body is screaming for needs. Your body needs food and water! Don't reject it! This Universe is contrast! Night AND day, cold AND warm and so on! That's what yin and yang is all about. ☯️ The dance between light and dark! Be a better dancer! Swing to the rhythm of life! Don't reject it! Imagine how boring life would be without contrast.. We have contrast inside of us too. Light and dark.🌓 Like Teal said, a dichotomy. We can have prejudices aswell as being loving. The political correctness is like walking on glass. That's why freedom of speech is so important! Because then you will know where people are coming from. You will see their true form, even if it hurts. Only by seeing that, you can cast light upon it and work with it. Or else it will just go underground and fester like an infection. Next time it surfaces it will be much worse.. This was a long one, but I hope people read it, and not go tldr.

A correction: The old ''cathedrals'' were repurposed long before the end of the nineteenth century, they were only the first buildings to undergo that ''restauration''.

I noticed when Teal was talking with the guy with money fears that she mentioned free energy. That immediately caught my attention! I have been interested in free energy for years. Imagine having a device which could tap into that! I started to think. Hmmm, what about UFOs. Anti-gravity is a form of free energy. Look at the Biefeld-Brown effect and the Casimir-effect. Some people talk about a worldwide civilization which were called Tartaria. In that civilization you had buildings with antennas and Helmholz-resonators on the rooftops which would receive and harness energy from the air/ether. This technology, referred to as antiquitech, has been around since the pyramids of Egypt. (The word pyramid means fire in the middle.) The old master-builders used alchemy and spiritual technology to make these incredible structures. Some have speculated that the pyramids had Helmholz-resonators in them to receive and amplify sound. They were not burial-chambers at all! These were built waaayyyy before the huge flood. 🌊 After the flood, new buildings were erected all over the world with rich ornaments and stucco. Look at the old greek ''temples'' for instance. Sacred geometry. These ornaments had a special purpose. Like Teal's frequency-paintings, they were attuned to, and depicted certain waveforms. These are the secrets of the old masonry. You can see it for instance at the Vasily-cathedral in Moscow. Onion-shaped domes all around the building. They received frequencies which they resonated with to make healing sounds or electricity. Look at gothic cathedrals with the round ''window'' or ''eye'' in front of them. Cymatics. Like when you pour sand on a loudspeaker and slowly alter the frequency. Patterns will emerge. I imagine those buildings could transmit healing sounds or provide power to a whole city. That energy was free for all! Then something happened at the end of the nineteenth century. A catastrophe of unknown dimensions. Maybe released by people who didn't want free energy to exist. Buildings were torn down or repurposed as churches, with crosses instead of antennas. That means the old ''cathedrals'' were in fact power plants before christianity came along! Our whole history is a blatant lie. They had world-fairs which would showcase new inventions and generators for energy. But those generators were part of a plan to make people pay for electricity instead of getting it for free. This was the age of Edison and Westinghouse. Along came Nikola Tesla with his radical inventions. He proposed wireless energy which could be transmitted all over the planet. They burned down his laboratory and stole his papers because they didn't want anyone to give free energy to the humanity ever again..🙁 But over the years, some brave amateurs have tried to make free energy devices, like a car which ran on water. (It worked!) These people were murdered by big oil and the corporations which were afraid of losing their income. There are lots of videos on Youtube depicting people who are still trying to make such devices, like over-unity devices which give more output than they use. People at large scoff at these things because they say that you cannot make devices like that because of the law of entropy and energy conservation. ''First it is ridiculed, then it is violently opposed, then it is regarded as self-evident.'' - Arthur Schopenhauer There will come a time when necessity really is the mother of invention again. That will be the time when science and spirituality finally merge! These are dangerous thoughts, but you have to be the heretic. The one who rock the boat. On The New Earth, free energy will be a natural thing, like water and air.

I have OCD as a comorbidity to ADHD. It was first triggered 37 years ago as obsessive/intrusive thoughts when I got a girlfriend. The thoughts were gruesome. I thought I was going mad. They told me to kill and maim, like ''I must slaughter, I must slaughter''..They were accompanied by images of killing, where I saw myself killing her or other people...😨 I could almost feel it in my hands too, like they were ready to strangle people.. For years I struggled with them, but luckily enough I never did anything harmful! I started saying to myself: ''They are not my thoughts.'' and ''I won't do it!'' Because they were so out of alignment with me that I was certain that aliens put those thoughts in me to control me.. They were also accompanied by a cold feeling inside, like a suction in my chest area.. After many years, they started to disappear more and more! I now know that they came from my brain like it was a part of me that hated love.. A part that wanted to be in control over my feelings.. So when I was in love, the controller in me wouldn't have any of that. Like it was the total opposite of love.. I still have some remnants of them from time to time, especially when I'm around people I really care about. But they are much much easier to stop now! 😃 (This sounds like a real horror show, but I could never hurt anyone! When I see an insect, I take it outside or put it on one of my plants!) But I must admit when I am feeling angry, I can say bad things that I don't mean.. It feels good to write this down. It's like a therapy for me! I am not afraid to be open about things like this anymore. I am like an open book now. ''I can't lie!'' - Jim Carrey And when it comes to the OCD-part, I sometimes must arrange things in a certain manner. Like line things up perfectly on the table or drum on the steering wheel when I wait for green light while I am counting.. One other thing it has done for me is making me perfectionistic in different areas, like when I make music, I can go back and change things until I feel they are perfect. (Minute things like a click or something that feels out of alignment in the track.) That's why I am remastering certain tracks now, to get rid of what I call ''irritation-moments''. Making them ready for release! When I do that, a feeling of total relaxation comes over me! I also have misophonia, where certain sounds put me in a fight or flight mode. Sounds that are on a level of irritating that can only be decribed as torturous. Other people chewing in a certain way, or clocks that tick-tock and so on. When I hear that, I go Grrrrrr!!! I have to get out of there quick or else! I am super-sensitive to noise-pollution! I have a very developed sense of hearing👂, so maybe that has something to do with it. People my age (56) start to lose the sense of hearing more and more, but not me. Even after years of using headphones, I can still hear high frequencies. And I hear down to 14 Hz. My father measured my hearing when I was younger, and he told me that my hearing was exceptional! I saw the curve, and it was waaayyyy beyond normal! I read that misophonia is a common trait for people with OCD and Tourette's which I also have.. so couple that with my super-hearing and we have a recipe for trouble..

My childhood-movie was Star Wars - A New Hope. I watched it when it came out! I was eleven, and sat in the theater and got goosebumps all over me! The sound of the lightsaber, the dogfights in space, and of course Luke Skywalker! One thing I remember was how frightening I thought Darth Vader was. And I loved C-3PO and R2D2! After that, I have been a fan of everything Star Wars! Have all the movies, and figurines of R2D2 and Vader in my bedroom! I built LEGO-sets of Millennium Falcon and X-Wing. I have also played a lot of video-games from SW-universe. My favorite is Jedi Knight: Dark Forces 2! And when I first discovered The Dark Crystal, I was blown away. That was not a childhood experience though, I saw it as an adult. It made a huge impact on me, to say the least! The ending, when the Urskeks became whole, made me tear up.🥲 Integration in effect! An interesting note is that The Dark Crystal's spirituality is inspired by The Seth Material by Jane Roberts.

This was an amazing and important exersize about emotions! I have anger issues these days, that's why I have been absent from the forum for a while.. (I am back for good now, by the way!)🙂 When I grew up, anger was not ok, so I hid it, turned it off and just went on my day.. I became very soft and timid, and I lost friends east and west. I let them waltz over me, because I had no personal power at all.. And all I wanted was to have them in my life regardless of their behavior against me.. (Stockholm Syndrome much?) The anger came back now because of the helplessness I feel towards the situation in the world, war and all. I felt that the Universe put me here to just die in a nuclear holocaust. And anger towards Putin because he holds the whole world hostage. I wanted to kill him, run over him and let him bleed out in the streets like a fuckin' roadkill..🤬 It lead to a fear that my awakening was futile, that I would never get away to a safer place where I could connect with other people on the path.. The anxiety of just waiting for the armageddon.. The worry that I would always be alone with my anger and fear, sitting in my apartment twiddling my thumbs every feckin' day until I died..🙁 But then something in me spoke. It told me to continue on my path and do the things that I felt was of importance for me to thrive. My spiritual discipline is back, and I am now helping other people, especially when it comes to something that I can relate to, namely being trans. I have alot of experience in the field, and I now know that I can help them to grow and live a happier life! It helps me grow too! I am slowly starting to live my purpose. First on a local level, and then expand it outwards into the world at large! My work has begun! And then I got an email from the team that said ''Don't be a stranger''. I read it and felt that you wanted me back, to reconnect! Now I am starting to understand that you really care about my wellbeing! You are my real friends, even if I am alone in my home and cannot meet you face to face (yet)! (I really want to someday, if that's possible!) This makes me wanna become a more active member of the tribe! You are me and I am you! My fear of war and despair is starting to disappear. The anger and despair reminded me of all the times where I felt worthless and unwanted because of lack of self-love.. I thought that nobody loved me, not even the Universe.. I even felt that things in the world were happening just to stop me from awakening..(!) How wrong I was! I have really been down there, you know.. Rock Bottom (A cool band-name by the way!). Now I just have to integrate the angry side, the sad side, the fearful side and all the other sides of me that I didn't want, because I felt ashamed of them, ashamed that I could sink to those depths.. I have to bring them home and nurture them, not shame them anymore. They are me and I am them. I am going to write a love-letter to myself now! A million thanks to the team for the continued support! I love you all!💖

Great workshop,Teal! I'm a very emotional being. I cry a lot, tears of sadness but also of joy!😀😭 In Norway that can be seen as being hysterical or detached from reality. We are a germanic people too.. Here in Norway you are supposed to hide your emotions. Being introverted is a huge part of our culture, so we don't talk about our feelings alot. That leads into depression. We are among the most pill-eating peoples in Europe. We eat antidepressants as they were candy..💊 When people here show appreciation for something, the applause is muted. You can hear it in our music, it's sentimental and serious. The same in movies, they are laden with serious themes, and the dialogues are often very stiff, like reading from a book.. Everything (especially in the 70's) was very pedagogically correct. No spontaneity at all.. But then you have our comedians. They are often incredibly funny, because they are taking the piss out of the stiffness and the seriousness of our daily lives!🤪 Like in the 70's, 80's and 90's we had Kirkvaag, Lystad & Mjøen, or KLM. They won international acclaim with their shows, and are often compared to Monty Python. If you don't laugh when you see them, you are dead! And going even longer back in history, you had people like Leif Juster, who was the funniest comedian in the history of Norway. His face and his manners made people really roflmao. (He was tall and gangly, and often self-deprecating.) He did an early form of stand-up, often singing and dancing. (It's a very norwegian kind of humor though, he made all the things that we are irritated about in society into comedy gold!) So, I guess when you have a very introvert population, you have the funniest comedians! Look at the british with their understatement and stiff upper lip, they have given us some of the greatest comedians on the planet!

I did the raven meditation yesterday! It helped me to set my goal and desire in stone. I have always been a little sceptic about if my aim was true or not! The raven led me thru the desert, cities and water. It took me around the planet and it landed in a workshop with Teal!😀🦢 So, I guess I am going to a workshop in the near future! That's the next step on my journey! And it's exactly what I hoped it would be. There have been times where I thought that it was a very lofty goal, but I trust the raven! And nostalgia. Aaahh, where to begin. I get nostalgia when I hear my favorite music! 🔊 It takes be back to the place where I heard it the first time! I can clearly see the interior of that place and the exact feeling of being there! I feel so safe when I hear that particular song, like no-one or nothing can hurt me! In my case, it's the band Saga and the song ''Help Me Out'' The first time I heard it, I was in a little cabin in Sweden in 1981. My parents, my brother and I were on a round trip in Sweden, and we came to a camping with a lot of small cabins! I had just bought a cassette with different artists on it, and when I heard ''Help Me Out'' for the first time, I couldn't stop listening to it! I played it over and over again at least ten times that evening!🎶 I still have that tape! Saga became one of my favorite bands of all time, and I am going to a concert with them for the first time ever in october! (They are a canadian symphonic rock/progressive rock band formed in 1977!) I can feel the same when I am on a mountain-trip. I always play some ambient tunes that I love, and when I come home and play them again, I am transported back to the mountains that I love so dearly! (Uh-oh, here come the tears!🥲) It always work like that! I also feel a strong nostalgia for a time without Internet and mobile phones, like the 90's. That was the decade where I became alternative! I became a ''freak'' and loved to go to underground clubs and hearing Nirvana, Soundgarden, Faith No More, The Sisters Of Mercy while getting stoned! The 90's were a very colorful time. Like really multicolored! Everyone accepted each other, smoked a bowl together and just hanged out! No phones, everybody met face-to-face!🙂😀 When I am writing this, more tears are flowing. I peeled onions again..! Sometimes I wish I had a Tardis or something so that I could travel back in time!

First, as long as I live here in No(r)way, I will travel to my favorite place near the sea, to a morain called Mølen. There I will sit and meditate on lava-rocks while the waves are crashing against the stony beach. And I am bringing my trusty camera and taking pictures. 📷 I love photographing! Then I will clean up garbage. A lot of plastic find it's way to the beaches and rocks, suffocating wildlife.. (It's a bird sanctuary, protected by law.) It is especially magical in winter. Imagine this weather-bitten and barren landscape covered in snow (...)❄️ (Of course, then it will be too cold to meditate outside anyway. Or maybe not..haven't tried it yet, and there is a saying here: ''There is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing!'') And when I finally depart for a new place, It will be conscious community living to the max! There is no other way to live! It will end the isolation, the loneliness, the feeling of being cut off from people! So, no more sitting in my cave like a hermit! Even my dad (r.i.p) warned me of becoming one.. a cave dweller.. But first, I have to integrate my selves completely, and then I am ready for the interdependence of a community. To be a resource and to be an active member of that community! Live life the way it was meant to be lived! Talking, hugging, eating, loving and creating together with my real family! Lifting each other up to greater heights! Teaching, helping, caring, laughing, crying, dancing and living! Every day! So be it!🫂🫂🫂😄💞🥰🫂💖🫂

I have tried LSD, shrooms and DMT. It didn't do much to me at all.. Just a tickling in my neck. I did feel like I was ten meters tall though. Weird. Maybe I wasn't open enough. Maybe I am not supposed to use an external method to gain wisdom. But I haven't tried Mother Ayahuasca yet, could be interesting..! (I will add though, that the only thing which have worked for me is cannabis.. It has given me extreme periods of clarity. It even made my kundalini rise..it felt like a warm wave inside my spine.. I have felt it all the way up to my third eye.. But in the end it became more of a crutch. So I had to let it go!) First I thought that without it, I would never reach awakening.. Now I know that I was wrong! My gawd was I wrong! I am awakening without it! I am now high on life instead! Have to add that it is almost impossible to take drugs/plant-medicines here in No(r)way because of prejudice and extremely strict laws. In Norway, you WILL be arrested for any other drug than alcohol.. We have an almost fascist-like approach to ''narcotics''. If people find out that you are using, they will call the cops. If they see you plucking mushrooms in a field, they will call the cops.. Gestapo in full effect.☹️ (Fascism never went away, it just got new clothes.. You can't polish a turd!) And try talking about this in public, you WILL get flak'ed. You do not have freedom of speech when it comes to drugs... The cops will do a full body-cavity search if they suspect cannabis. (Yes, cannabis is the ''Big Bad Wolf'' of drugs here. You have cops that will strip-search teenagers in public, like lift up penis to see if you have a little lump of canna. They don't care if they destroy lives..It's The Big Bad Cannabis, you know... They will trash your apartment/house searching for drugs, like a SWAT-team.. Stories of young people in jail who have been stripped 500(!) times, fingered in the ass.. Women have been forced to take out their tampons..All in the name of The War On Drugs.. It makes me fucking mad. 😡 Like we are the Taliban of the western world.. The most ass-backwards country ever.. But alcohol is oki-doki. Better drunk as a skunk, than high as a kite.. There's a lot of alcoholics here, a lot of broken souls that reach for the bottle when the going gets tough...🍺 (Norway, the happiest country in the world! /s) Aaand, of course, prescription drugs. We now have an opioid-crisis like the US.. People are getting addicted to painkillers, antidepressiva, benzos and you name it. And when the doctors take you off these silent killers, people take to the streets looking for relief instead. Because of the strict laws, the pushers have a good time making a lot of money.. We have some of the highest numbers of overdoses in the whole of Europe...In 2020 we had 324 of them. (In a population of five million) That's a frighteningly high number! But, there are signals coming from courts that we have been too restrictive.. They have, in some cases, reduced punishments for users! And they have said that police have never been allowed to do strip-searches in the first place. That means that the cops broke the law.. Ironic, isn't it? We should start seeing addicts as humans instead of criminal trash! We still have a looooooong way to go..

When you talked about adoptions, it just said ka-boom inside me... I was adopted when I was a toddler, only a few months old.. I tried to contact my biological parents, only to find that my bio mother wouldn't tell me anything about my bio father.. Hmmm.. 💭 Maybe I was the result of a fling/escapade, or rape.. (...) (I know that I have two older siblings, though..) I don't even know if my bio parents named me before I was named by my adoptive parents.. This has to be where my sense of rejection came from, the feeling of not being good enough. The feeling that nobody loved me. My poor little child self just wanted to be loved, but I couldn't love myself for decades.. Even if people said that they loved me, I couldn't believe it, because I thought that I was unlovable... But when I found out that I was trans, things started to happen. It started with glimpses of femininity inside me, and that led to me hating my male parts, since I was born male and felt unloved.. I legally became a woman and started on HRT. But, as I have mentioned in another comment, It made my male self a hard hater and my female self a feeble selfless ''politically correct'' being. Then I started on the spiritual path again after a long remission, and slowly began to say to myself that maybe I wasn't so bad after all. From there it became easier to love myself! Then....I started following you, Teal. Boom! 💥 I learned to integrate both parts and I became whole. Now I'm non-binary and ''happy as a pig in shit''! I now love both my male side and my female side! My self-love is starting to go through the roof! But I still have issues of doubt now and then though , because an aspect of me tells me that I don't fit in anywhere..and that I'm still not good enough for the Universe. That spirituality and awakening is a lofty goal that I cannot reach. The feeling of only having five senses. The feeling of being, as I call it : A ''cold fish'' with no non-physical abilities at all... And the other aspect tells me that ''yes, you are loved! You are an unique being with a mission here on Earth!'' (I have seen angel numbers for years though, and they are telling me more and more of great things coming my way. Like really great things! A few days ago, I started to see in ''high contrast'' meaning that white is pure as snow and black is vantablack! Everything is much more vivid! Like my eyesight is getting better and better! (Have astigmatism and are far-sighted) It feels like 400K super high resolution.) I just have to extend that love to the little ''unwanted'' child in me, the aspect in doubt of my abilities! But practice makes perfect, and I am getting closer and closer to complete oneness in myself! Then I can help others with the same issues! Being, like you said, a social glue! But my decision to go this path and wanting a conscious community made me ironically more alone because my friends are not interested in that. (I mentioned that in an earlier comment.) Maybe they were not my real friends after all.. I know that I belong here, I just have to tell my rejected little me that I don't need to feel rejected anymore.. That's my task at hand. Just now I had that ''too lofty to think that I belong in this'' thought.. (ooops..) Like the scene from Wayne's World : ''I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy!'' This is, after all, the tribe that will change the world! The biggest revolutionaries ever. I try to imagine ''little me'' being part in this. Wow! Can it really be happening? Are there really people out there who will welcome me into a community? The community? I sometimes think that the bigger and better something is, the slimmer is the chance of being part of it. But... then I remember that I am a fractal of Source Itself, and I say yes! I am welcome! I can participate! I am worthy! This is the real answer! My self-correction mechanism kicked in! I feel like I am part of something vast, something so huge and immense that it makes me shake, rattle and roll! (Lol!) At last, my little adopted self is home for the very first time in my life. I love you Teal!💖 I love The Tribe!💖 (PS. I know that the video is old, so maybe you already have done an adoption-retreat.. If not, I will participate! I don't have Facebook though.) (Other social media I can use?)

Ohmy gawd, Teal, when you talked about conscious community, I almost wept.. I have been living alone in my apartment for 25 (!!!) years😮, and thought that I would never have the opportunity to move.. And.. my greatest desire is a conscious community, but none of my friends are interested in that 🙁, and, living in Norway, getting new friends is almost impossible.. People here are incredible introvert and strangers are often frowned upon.. You cannot just walk up to another person and start a conversation..we are as cold as ice.. And when you have the interests that I have, well, you almost become a recluse. So, I am free, but I am not yet free. If I was to buy another place, for instance a house in the countryside, I would still be alone even if the place itself offered peace and tranquility. Because a person like me in the countryside of Norway is a big no-no. I am too different and too awake. (Hehe!) I would stick out like a sore thumb..they would kick me out of there faster than I could say ''change is the spice of life!''. You are not, I mean NOT supposed to be different than the others. You have to walk in line, have the same meanings and opinions as others. (The Law Of Jante) ''Don't think that you are something. Don't think that you are better than us.'' They had a survey in 2011 which placed Norway as the 6th most conforming country in the WORLD.. We are extremely politically correct. It makes me wanna puke 🤢🤮 So when a person is a spiritual anarchist like me, they get FLAK'ed. Alot. (And norwegians are some of the most sceptical people on Earth, so if you talk to them about spirituality, they laugh in your face..) This is the scourge of social-democracy..You are supposed to be assimilated into the mainstream. (Pay taxes, get to work and be a good citizen!) People who are on welfare are often seen as parasites who don't contribute to society. But I am not willing to conform to a profoundly sick society anymore! I have cast my vote! (Aaand I have no ties with this country anymore, can move anywhere if the situation arises. Have no family on my own, no job or other obligations.) I could sell my apartment asap and move to another country if I knew people who would welcome me into their community/tribe!🫂 Have resources, will travel!🚢✈️🚆🚗 ..We are not supposed to live like hermits..