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#54

How am I currently neglecting or harming myself?

(Answer In The Comments Below )
From "100 Of The Most Powerful Questions You Can Ask Yourself"

Nothing has the power to completely alter perspective and therefore your thoughts and actions and life quite like a question. Inquiry leads to understanding. The quality of the answers we arrive at, correspond directly to the quality of question we ask. The better the question, the better the answer. One of the most important things to realize about a question is that a person learns far, far more from the process and work involved in answering a question than from the answer itself. This is why spiritual teachers throughout history (including myself) have tended to pose so many questions to their students rather than to simply offer a direct answer. For this reason, I have selected a collection of 100 of the most powerful questions that you can ask yourself.

Make sure to take time to carefully consider each question that is posed in order to meaningfully answer them. And don’t forget to come back to these questions again and again throughout your life, especially whenever you are feeling stuck, because the answers will most likely change over the course of your life and also cause you to change your course in life.

- Teal Swan


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I'm currently harming myself by:

1. Finding reasons to not workout.

2. Focusing on what I don't like in my relationships.

3. Antagonizing myself by picking apart, analyzing, and finding something wrong with literally every thing I do.

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I am currently neglecting and harming myself by:

1) Avoiding making close connections because I’m afraid I’m not good enough.

2) I’m downplaying some of my emotions because I’m scared to ever feel the way I did before again. 

3) I’m not wanting to progress in life because that would mean interactions with others which I can’t handle because I’m so afraid of rejection. So instead I keep myself in a comfortable but stifling solitude where I never feel bad but I also never feel fulfilled. 

4) I’m afraid of my own body. I feel like it wants to attack me and instead of listening to it because I’m afraid of what it has to say, I just bypass it and hope that my positive focus and healthy lifestyle will heal me from my autoimmunity. 



 

 

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Neglecting: emotionally mostly as in lack of self regulation 

harming: not doing emotional processes in the right way resulting me in retraumatizing  myself making my wounds worse.  (Which I now know is because I can’t emotionally regulate myself) 

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Damn hold on.. for starters I should probably drink more water. Then maybe I’m using the phone to much (for the wrong purposes, social media n whatnot). Most importantly though, although not currently, is to learn how to be easier on myself, especially after making mistakes. 

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Ooooooo shit. I dont eat right, i am forsure dehydrated right now, I take to many pills, i close myself off way to easily, and i am not working on educational growth.

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I'm busy with stressing myself and procastinating at the same time, buisy with worrying, overthinking,  catastrophizing, ocd, and hating myself. 

Instead of just letting myself be, who I want to be. Have and live the life I want to have. 

I think Im afraid of my emotional baggage. And I don't have self trust in my decisions. Im afraid if I meet my pain, in my dispair, I will take a wrong route, one that leads to destruction. It's actually unlikely to be honest. But that's the fear keeping me from living my best life.

This is all trauma related. 

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Im neglecting my desires and needs, I feel shame towards my desires, and I don't know how to create situations where I'll have my needs met. I have severe physical pain, and I'm mentally in a dark place, but I just try to do everything as usual, because I don't really have another choice.

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I feel I'm in vain. My whole personality everything I've reached so far, is fake. I feel like a stranger to my life. My decisions don't make any sense. 

I don't know any further how to move on how to live. 

And this is because I've neglected parts of me for far too long. And it backfired. 

I had one part of me, that didn't want to be a mother this part of me also during pregnancy, felt like dying and like in prison and doomed by the thought of having a child. This part wanted to have a career or something of that nature, travel, enjoy itself ect. (because I never enjoyed my life, the way I wanted to, I didn't feel Like I deserved it) and I rejected this part of me. 

Than I had another part Wich didn't under no circumstances wanted to do this on its own, raise a child. 

And I also neglected my fears. 

 

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Giving into spiritual dogma about the actual nature of reality and life, mostly due to my mental illness making it impossible for me to let go of such abhorrent and agonizing topics. I hate spirituality. I hate mental illness. I hate everything.

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