AlexJulian

I haven't been there in a while, I remember feeling more of the local culture... but when you are a kid you are more impressionable anyway. The hodgepodge/complexity aspect I do agree with. Barcelona is interesting in that you have Las Ramblas which is extremely touristy, and also a hotbed of pickpockets and prostitutes working in the open. I think that could be the city trying to claw back some of its lost energy to tourism and "balance the scales" energetically. I sense a bitterness there. I'm trying to feel into something too, which is like a celebration of the macabre in a way... you mention some of the seedier energies in La Sagrada Familia, etc., and there was an occult, macabre quality to a lot of the modern and avant-garde art in that 1900-1945 time period, a period dominated by war and death on the world stage. The art of Barcelona is so much the art of a modernist dream, kind of an escapism that isn't quite an escapism because it's so rooted today in things like money and tourism and being photo-worthy. To some extent I think Barcelona is frozen in this bipolar reaction to pain, which is to escape the pain with ornate spires and flowing shapes and outlandish motifs, which also serve to memorialize a traumatic imprint, never quite transcending or alchemizing it. The "oohs" and "aahs" of the tourist crowd are to some extent a lack of awareness as to what all this dazzling richness is really about, since tourists just see it as adornment. So there is a "blood diamond" quality to the aesthetic here, in that you have something beautiful and precious but that was won at very high cost. It's the monstrous and the horrific, swept into a consumable display and fractalized somewhat to make it picture-perfect. Yeah, I think Barcelona has a very unusual relationship to its own pain, since that pain is so distant and cut off. Somehow it seeps into this bravado quality, and rather than being either fully repressed on the one hand or exposed and dealt with on the other, the pain is worn on the body like jewelry: like fancy watches and makeup and scarves. "You can't attack me because I'm already using my own pain as a weapon." That's the (deep) subconscious murmuring. "What now?" There is a shrug of the shoulders and a wicked smile. This city also has a lot of accessible Roman ruins. I think there you have the energy of the conquerer mixed with the energy of the conquered, the Romans + the native Iberian peoples. Something strong and beautiful that surely had its origins in lots of pain and slaughter, a sign of dominion that could only exist (the Roman Empire) through ceaseless war. You get lost in trying to understand if you're a victim or perpetrator. Rather than feeling this chaos and awakening through it, you build walls and towers and mosaics and masonry to commemorate it. Thanks Teal.

I get Teal's view on gender roles and I also don't get it. So we want to restore masculine energy to men and feminine energy to women (but especially masculine energy to men). I understand why this matters but it also feels like it puts humanity in a very survival-based place. Like men are there to protect women who are naturally more fragile, weaker, and tend to feel unsafe. Is this the holy grail for humanity in the long run, this kind of adherence to traditional biology and the confines of M vs. F? Or is this just a stage we are passing through? Is there a more integrated and less polarized future for humans that, whether androgynous or something milder, takes us past survival and biology? And finally, how does the importance of restoring the M/F duality mesh with the souls incarnating who choose non-traditional gender roles such as being gay? I have heard Teal speak on both topics (the importance of traditional gendered energy and non-traditional sexuality) and she seems to view both as key to this time we are living in. But how does this all work? If men should be stepping into their power as protectors and defenders of the feminine, where does this leave the gay man? Is it his job to totally stand apart from this dynamic, like he is an appendage or offshoot to humanity as a whole? (So it's like his entire mission is divorced from the mission of the majority of male humans?) And what does this say or imply about what genuine empowerment looks like for sexually atypical men? Does their empowerment have a gendered component as it does for most men (i.e., an empowered man can use his power to safeguard the feminine), or must he derive his power from outside gender itself? I'm a little surprised that I haven't seen any questions like this come up when I have viewed so many of Teal's workshops.

Society has created such a clusterfuck of gender/sexuality so my feeling is that we don't really understand what sexuality is all about especially when it comes to the reason for souls incarnating in the gendered bodies they have chosen. "Straight", "non-binary", "gay", "bisexual", etc., all these have massive shadow sides with lots of fragments. When you're dealing with identities that are so non-integrated in the first place, it's sort of an illusion to say "I know exactly what I am and I stand proud with it". Not trying to give anyone a hard time here who has spent a lot of time on themselves, but this is literally such a rabbit hole... not even Teal IMO has approached the complexity of this issue, at least not publicly.

Interesting about food. I'm also wondering what she would say about when your body/mind are not aligned. You are getting cravings for a food but if you eat it, you don't feel well, etc.

Thank you Olivia... I have one of her books arriving soon and it will be the first one I read. I will look at those other things... thanks !!

Wow this was jam-packed... does anyone know the best place to hear Teal's esoteric and non-shadow-work thoughts? I'm starting to wonder if perhaps my healing and reintegration journey could be helped through more actual knowledge (from Teal's perspective) which could then resonate with me in the form of "more possibilities for empowerment", if that makes sense. Knowing more stuff about the structure of the universe, the soul, etc. allows for a bigger picture.

Thank you for putting yourself out there! I hope you are doing well! You did great up there and I'm sure you're proud. ❤️

The last couple was so heartwarming! Great to watch. Big thanks to them for putting themselves out there.