Ask Yourself...

Metaphysics
 

Physics

If I attract as though a mirror why does my spouse cheat on me constantly. I am completely faithful. But want to leave relationship now. 

What makes me lose my connection to myself?

Believing other people's opinions despite my own doubts. So, doubting myself, gaslighting myself, thinking "maybe they're right" when I know they're wrong. Not being healthy. Hanging out with people I'm not compatible with. Eating crappy food. Not exercising or getting sunlight. Watching TV or the News and believing what they say, or not being critical of what I'm viewing. Not paying attention to my emotions, body, feelings. Drugs, alcohol, doing work I hate. Not taking care of my appearance or body. Not having my nails done. Letting people mistreat me. Not having really, really good boundaries. Not following my heart every day. Not having any fun - all work and no play. Conversely, all play and no work. Equating work with doing things I don't want to do for survival. Limiting and false beliefs that make me feel caged, trapped, stifled. Not being centered in myself, being ungrounded.

And what makes me get that connection back?

Stepping back and looking objectively. Disidentification. Saying "no". Trusting my own judgment and estimation of events, validating myself. Eating well. Exercising. Meditation. Nature. Sunlight. Green juice. Conscious media consumption, being aware of symbols in the news and in stories. Stories that humanize and spiritualize the human experience. Really good art. Being grounded in my body. Being sober. Doing work I love. Scheduling time for both work and play each day. Making work and play synonymous. Writing fun stories. Making fun art. Doing my nails. Dressing cute and comfy and put together. Saying no to people I'm not compatible with. Saying no to people who mistreat me or misuse or abuse me. Saying no to people who are being disingenuous, manipulative, rude, trolls, bullies, making fun of me disguised as joking, or can't accept the gifts I give them. Saying no to people I just don't like or want to be around. Being kind to people. Random acts of kindness. Smiling at people. Gratitude. Nature. The sky, stars, wind, rivers, ocean, trees, bugs, plants, rocks, canyons, lakes. Looking at pretty houses. Beautiful clothes. Pretty jewelry. True artistry and craftsmanship. Following my heart. Connecting to my heart daily. Meditating on god, the sun, the galactic center, Jesus, etc. Doing what I love for money. Getting paid and making money. Having more then enough. Having just enough. Not having enough and knowing it will be okay anyways. Trust. Faith. Allowing. Letting go. Shifting beliefs, doing shadow work, doing parts work.

Honestly, being in a relationship makes me lose connection towards myself. What makes me get it back is a breakup, when we break up I finally feel that sense of autonomy again. And do what I gotta do. 

What makes me lose connection with myself is isolating for longer periods than necessary, and what makes me get that connection back is going into nature and driving up to an event 

Shame and feeling powerless.

I guess it would be resolving shame through love and getting my power back.