Ask Yourself...

That I can live a normal life, that I can get things like anybody else I cannot expect myself to do things like everyone has, I just CAN'T! I have had way to much abuse done to me, I've cannot handle the stress of going the same way people have, I cannot go back to school I'm too old, I'm 25 and I just want to have a family were to belong. I can't expect myself to myself under the pressure to be a certain way to finish a career or to go to a place that seems to put more limitations on to you.
I can't. even if it meant a once in a lifetime oportunity, I can't go to a school again, I can't write a fucking scientific paper because I'm an artist, I CAN'T FUCKING WRITE SOMETHING THAT FEELS SO LIMITING, I CAN'T DO MORE MEANINGLESS SOULESS TASK THAT HAVE TO BE DELIVERED, I CAN'T DO ANYTHING THAT I WON'T PUT MY HEART AND SOUL INTO IT! I want to be free I don't want to follow rules and have to go trough a process and a sistem that takes out a lot more from me that it ever gives me back.
I don't care what I end up doing, if I get to do what I enjoy the most, wich is telling stories however I fucking choose and having money from it, it doesn't matter where I end up in the world, if it's africa, asia, america or oceania, IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER
ALL I WANT IT TO EXPRESS MYSELF ARTISTICALLY AND HAVE A LOVELY FAMILY THAT I HAVE BUILT, THAT IS WHAT MATTERS TO ME.
going to a place that will cause me pain, FUCK THAT, I'M DONE WITH HAVING TO HAVE THIS "DIDN'T FINISH UNIVERSIY" ENERGY, WHAT IF IT CLOSES DOOR ON ME, I DON'T CARE I DID NOT COMER HERE AFTER SO MUCH TORTMENT TO DO WHAT OTHERS CHECKMARKS WANT ME TO HAVE.
my own health and happiness are first and I build my life how ever it starts building itself, I won't put myself in the painful process were I feel in so much pain.
and what will I do?
well I start by writting a fucking story, many I am passionate about that and there is no fucking person no even myself to stop me from doing what I love!
LET'S GO!

Every single possible expectation.
Let go of every expectation.

my wife and mom care about me. no one else care about anything about me

That there is gonna be no contrast if I have manifested the experience that I wanted. That its gonna be all perfect sunshine and roses

The expectation of something to happen and also of my environment shouting and yelling and dissaproving of me for the hearts choices we are making for our own well being 

I need to let go of expectation that T will bring out my true masculine energy and my true self.. I must get there myself, with a little guidance).

That i am not special.

That I am healed, as soon as I find the answer on how to heal. 

That I find the answer on how to heal. 

Wrong negative destructive believes about myself. 

That I feel good. 

that i should feel good all the time

The expectation to know what to do

Performing all the time and expecting myself or it to be perfect or go perfectly. Getting a job and releasing resistance to money in like seconds time