Winter Rising

I think that at this moment in my life, ie. the time I've personally experienced and has continued into the moment I have right now.. I actually know a lot more about myself than I'm giving the awareness, credit, and understanding for, and the fact that I haven't taken the step to sit with myself in a therapeutic, self-study structured session (parts-work or other self-inquiry resources -specifically ones I've received from Teal's work- comes to mind as what I could do or would/ will need to do) I'm disadvantaging myself because the usefulness of being able to use myself as a resource and feel the security of trust within myself to navigate, interact with and express myself in my current experience is inhibiting me from seeing my progression or ability to continually expand in a natural way that's based on the human experience of living moment-to-moment and growing through the relationship with life as-it-happens sort of thing and I'm inhibiting my presence, self-love and level of connection with the beautiful people I have around me right now, not truly feeling the essence of the real-time experience I'm having with them. So, I think I've been ""lying"" to myself by not fully allowing, attuning to, or focusing presence into my brain to hear out the thoughts that have been tapping into my mind/ awareness about what the amount of healed states are that I'm already experiencing, how these healed parts of me are assisting me now and how I can utilize the method of therapy I've already done and apply that into deepening my understanding of this, to give the recognition to the parts of myself who are ready for and needing that and for furthering my presence in my reality.

Bigger: I can value myself in place of the ways that I feel undervalued. Ie. I can want myself for the things/ in the moments when I am feeling unwanted by the experience around me or within me. Smaller: I can pay attention to what it is that I feel unwanted for and about, and acknowledge that part of myself as being important for the way it (I) feels and recognize its existence and presence in myself, time, and life - noticing it has inherent value of my whole self and realizing that I can spend more with this aspect of myself to discover who it is, where it's from, what it feels, what it thinks, what it wants, what it's been through and how I can help this part of myself, at the earliest convenience that I will have later in my day.