I think I'm having trouble with this one because I am unaware of what I am holding onto. So I believe I must also ask myself, what is it I'm holding onto that does not allow for connection and safety? I am fearful of losing my sense of identity any type of relationship, especially romantic. So I feel that I have built up walls to protect myself, but I'm learning that when people come into relationship they inevitably change one another. This is not always a negative thing, but a growth opportunity.
So this is where my thought process has gotten me...I'm willing to give up the search for negative qualities in others, and the initial judgement of others so I can be more open to connections.