Ask Yourself...

On 1/20/2023 at 12:51 AM, Johnny4evrrcat yours said:

Hello! Seek and ye shall find! O how I’ve searched. SO happy to have found you and your site etc. I became a fan a long time ago but never forgot. I watched the video about touch. It was almost overwhelming. So true, so long, so heavy is the burden of loneliness and lack of any physical touch and have now forgotten…

On 1/5/2023 at 6:47 PM, GuyStar said:

To be in an environment whereby I can have enough time to detox, restore my mind, hormones, and psychological wellbeing. To be healthy and no longer dependent on substances to be happy, to quickly develop inner inspiration, motivation and purpose to do all the things I love in life. To stop repeating bad destructive coping mechanisms and habits and develop my true purpose. 

Heyyyy that was my post and I’m not the forrrevercat

https://tealswan.com/100questions/1-r1/?do=findComment&comment=39341
 

I have need for a  new teacher or sensei or friend or aquaintence. Ask me anything and I’ll prove it

to be in power

My hidden agenda is to date them and it is my hidden agenda because no one knows about it. I want to hide my motives, because I care of how I'm being perceived. I lack self-trust and depend on others to meet them. I can't see far from the trees to see the forest. I feel like dying most of the time, and want people to rescue me (I don't know how to rescue myself). I think the world is bad. I want to see what it's like to feel alive by making them also feel miserable. There's not in a day that I don't think about how I'm being perceived. I feel fear when I am judged, so I keep my blindspots open.

That was a deep quote/paste. I could feel your sadness,  you don’t ever need to feel that way with me. There are people in my life though getting fewer by the day. I will survive. “How do I know?” I endured a lot of abuse as a child and teen. As an adult the bullies leave me alone. I would be honored and sit in wonder if I had someone like you as a friend or more. I’ve been alone so long I cannot even hug my mom, I haven’t felt a loving touch in so many years, I’m running on empty

Control things, skip responsibility and consequences. 

Because it makes me a bad person. Because I don't want to own my mistakes. Consequences can feel like punishment. I want to change, silently. Just let me. Forgive. 

I want to be non reactive.. Non reactive towards anything that causes any harm. And want to change like real silently. And disciplined. 

It's like we all put our guns down. Don't shoot, Noone shoot. 

The real problem is you can't skip your trauma and emotions. And your hurt, just like that.