Your pain has convinced you that you are alone here; that there is no way out of the well of the wound that has swallowed you. I am a teacher. I sit on a throne of certainty and ease, as if it were never tested; or so it now appears. Now that I am showing others how to live a life of ease... But this throne has not been mine forever. And my place upon it is tested every single day. There are many gates that one can pass through to reach awakening. The gate of oneness, the gate of nothingness, the gate of the present or the gate that I came through… The gate of suffering. I do understand pain. The smile you see on my lips has been pieced together from the crumbs of a shattered life I once led. I have left myself behind so many times. I have died again and again. I have made a hobby of dying in this life. It is as if I were an onion, whose layers have been peeled off one by one by pain.
It is a decision we get to make and re-make every day… To stop resisting the way that life strips you clean… To let it take bone and blood and sinew. To let it take all that you think you are. The moment you can’t fight back anymore and you let go is the moment life stops stripping you clean and instead begins to dress you. It dresses you in the image of transcendence. It cradles you in the support that was there all along. It carries you to the very thing you desire. But I do understand how hard it is to allow. It is just that I also understand how much harder it is to stay where you are. In a resistant state of being, trying to keep it all together, doing what you’ve been doing all your life.
When we outgrow our current life, our life does not wait for us to be ready to move on to a new life. It simply begins the process of evicting us. We have to let the life we are currently so identified with, die. But to let something we are identified with die is to let a part of ourselves die. And for most of us, we are only willing to do that when we discover first hand that there are worse things than dying. It is only when you let yourself die to what you have outgrown that you find yourself born again; and in an instant. I wish you the freedom that is inherent in being stripped clean of yourself like an onion, layer by layer and one by one.
The theme of this entire trip to San Francisco has been 'shedding'. Allowing what was to die. And taking the actions required in order to step into a new life. The common theme for people at this time on earth is the feeling of being stuck in transition. At times like this, you end up torn between the idea of allowing and the idea of taking action. They seem (at face value) to be contradictory states of being when they are not. To be in a state of “allowing”, means to deliberately choose thoughts, words and actions that allow your desires to manifest in your reality. It is to be in a non-oppositional state. In order for you to allow your desires to manifest, your thoughts, words and actions must line up with your desires. For example, you can’t desire money and simultaneously think the thought “there isn’t enough money” and have money manifest in your experience because the thought of money and the thought of there isn’t enough money aren’t a vibrational match; they aren’t in alignment. We cannot be thinking a thought that feels emotionally negative to us and be in a state of allowing. We cannot take an action that feels emotionally negative to take and be in a state of allowing. And no amount of action that we ever take can make up for what we lack in thought. But is action a contradiction to allowing, or is action a key ingredient to allowing?
Most of us have the same picture in our minds when we think of allowing. For most of us, the picture we have is a person who is blissed out and meditating in a state of complete, passive surrender to the universe. We picture in our minds, a state of inactivity. We imagine that allowing means letting the universe live out our lives for us. We treat our lives as if we were chess pieces here to be played by the universe according to a pre determined game and we call it “destiny” or “purpose”. But this picture of allowing is a misunderstanding. The state of allowing is not a state of inaction; it is not a state of spiritual laziness and surrender. It is a state of deliberate focus and inspired action.
You could think of the state of allowing as the state of total non-resistance. And the state of total non-resistance is not stagnant energy; it is forward moving energy. There is a saying in the spiritual community, “whatever happens is meant to happen”. And it is true that the way you know if something should be happening is if it is happening. But we, in the spiritual community use this saying to cop out of the responsibility of being the creators of our own lives. When we feel utterly powerless to our own lives, the thought “whatever happens is meant to happen” is a comfort to us. It helps us to release resistance, but that there is the problem. Those of us, who live our lives according to this belief, often feel deep down that we are powerless to our own lives. We live our lives at the mercy of the universe, which is to forget that we are extensions of this universe. In essence, we use the passive surrender statement of “whatever happens is meant to happen” when we have given up. We have created so much resistance relative to our lives and we distrust our ability to create what we want to such a degree that giving up and turning it over to the universe feels like relief.
The entire reason you are here is because the universe at large knew that it would benefit by projecting itself, in the form of you into the physical dimension, which is the leading edge of expansion. “Leading edge” means that you are the one leading the universe, not the other way around. You are the one telling the universe which direction you want your life to go, not the other way around. The universe is merely arranging your reality so that it is an exact mirror and match to your current thoughts. Whether you are thinking something negative or positive, you are telling the universe what to become and thus what your reality is to become. The universe is no more God than you are God. The universe is learning through your perspective and your desire what is right for you. The universe is not playing us like a chess game full of inanimate chess pieces. Instead, we are like animated chess pieces that tell the player (the universe) which direction we want to move and through that, the player (the universe) learns about itself. The chess player learns about itself through the chess pieces because the chess pieces are just a projection of itself. The chess pieces and the chess player are different manifestations of the exact same being.
You did not come here so the universe could live your life for you. In fact, that would be the sure fire way to stop the expansion of this universe. When you spend your whole life turning your life over to the universe, there is no real point to living. It is as if there is a lull in the game because the universe can’t play the game when you don’t play the game. The universe keeps waiting for your move because it’s your turn and you keep waiting for its move because you think it is the universe’s turn. You wind up stuck. You are not giving the universe the energy or momentum to direct. It is important to remember something; you have to throw the ball for the universe to throw it back. Another important thing to remember is, the more balls you throw, the more chances that one of those is going to be a home run. When we are attached to the idea of needing one specific thing to pan out so we can meet our desire, we develop a lot of resistance because we fear that if it does not pan out, we will not achieve our desire. And so, we can’t stop worrying about it. Worry is resistance. And so, if we can instead throw energy towards many options, we will have less resistance and therefore we will be in a state of allowing towards our desire and thus, it will manifest much faster and easier.
On a practical level, we can see this issue playing out amongst the demographic of people who play the lottery. If we become convinced that the only way we are going to make millions is if we win the lottery, we put all of our energy towards the lottery. But we also care so much about winning the lottery that we worry about the potential of not winning the lottery. And thus, we resist the very thing we desire; and because of it, we do not allow ourselves to create a situation in our lives where we do win the lottery. And what’s more than that, we disallow all other potential avenues for financial abundance to come into our experience. Via our beliefs, we have told the universe that the only way that money can come is via the lottery, which is the very venue that due to our worry, we are in resistance to. We cannot allow our own abundance when we are doing that. Instead, we limit ourselves. We are not throwing multiple balls to the universe, we are throwing one ball to the universe; and because of our own resistance we are throwing it poorly. It is sort of like throwing a ball into a gale force wind. And thus, the chance of that ball becoming a home run is very low.
Spiritual living and allowing does not mean a state of blissed out laziness. That very idea is a direct opposition to the truth that you are the creator of your reality. Action feels good; it feels good because you manifested physically specifically to act. The sweetness of the experience of taking action as the result of an inspiration is the reason we choose to come into the physical dimension again and again. And so, it must be said that sometimes the highest form of allowing is taking action. Passive surrender is not always the most allowing state. Passive surrender can be the result of disbelief and distrust in the self. It is all too often the indication that we are trying to cope with the feeling of being overwhelmed and powerless. We use the modality of passive surrender to escape the pressure of being in charge of a reality that we feel is out of our control.
The time has come to ask yourself: Am I trying to let the universe live my life for me, or am I the one living my life? In order to be the one living your life, you must first deciding what you desire and then use inspiration to take action to move in the direction of that desire.
Living a spiritual life does not mean taking a back seat to God or a back seat to the universe. It means allowing yourself to work with the universe instead of against it; to work with yourself instead of against yourself. What is meant to happen is what you want to have happen! The universe will arrange all necessary conditions for you to achieve your desires and because the universe doesn’t have resistance, it will arrange those conditions the second you desire them. If anything other than what you think you want to have happen occurs, it is because of one of two things:
1) You yourself, are resisting what you desire with something you are thinking, believing or doing.
2) You are in denial of what you truly desire, while you have been simultaneously subconsciously informing the universe of what you truly desire; and so the universe is responding to the deeper, stronger truth of what you really desire.
In either case, you are the one calling the shots. You cannot live your life without taking action. Learning to surrender and just “be” is valuable because it helps you to release resistance and re connect with the truth of who you are as a spiritual being in a quantum universe with no time, where the present moment is all that exists and it is perfect as it is. But to try to “just be” in the physical dimension is not possible. It is ended-ness. It means that you are not allowing yourself to be the creator that you came here to be. This is your life. Now live it.