I am in the air again. Two months may not sound like much time, but it is the longest break I have taken from traveling for this work in years. Being back in the airport and back in the cramped seating of an airplane feels familiar. It feels like being back in the game. I did what I wanted to do with the break. I finished my fourth book and sent it off to my editor. And I spent the rest of the time traveling inward with only my own consciousness as my method of travel. It was not the time of rest that I wanted. It was an intense time of integration.
We are headed to Europe for a European tour. Most of my team is already there. They have been preparing for over a week now in the various cities on the schedule. I am arriving in Paris. We will spend just enough time in France for me to acclimatize before I go on stage in Basel, Switzerland. I am arriving in Basel with a new teaching that will prove to be a challenge to my skills of oration. But it is one that will be a surprise and it is one that will be unconventional, which is a recipe for drastic change in terms of the way that we view our life on earth. After spending hour after hour journeying inward to see the universe at large, I can clearly see what human consciousness needs at this time. I am ready to answer to it.
This week, we welcomed a new member to our community. A little English golden retriever puppy that was born on the solar eclipse that occurred one and a half months ago. He is already the precious light of our lives. I have named him Snow Moon. We’re calling him snowy for short. He is the most mellow puppy I’ve ever been around. He plays for 20 minutes here and there outside in the grass and carries his little sock toy around. He is already learning to follow, which is the most important behavior for a puppy to learn. The rest of the time, he is sleeping in someone’s arms. He has come into this life imbued with the energy of MERGE. The eclipse was all about individual identity vs. oneness. This puppy is a manifestation of togetherness. He is like the glue that holds everyone together. He teaches this by simply being. We have been focusing non-stop in my community on moving from isolation to connection so we are all in a space of self-congratulation that we have become a match to the frequency of merge. It is heartbreaking to leave him with the community members that are staying behind for this tour.
For my purpose here on earth, currently it is essential for me to travel. Traveling to different places allows for people to have access to me that would not otherwise be able to travel to see me. Traveling allows me to dive deep into the collective vibration of the places that I visit so that I can teach the most relevant information and answer directly to the most prevalent pain that is affecting each area. It gives me an even better handle on the human collective; our similarities and differences. I need to be able to tailor my information to whomever I find myself in front of. This is where the greatest expansion can be created. I did not come to earth with a specific message. I came to meet people wherever they are and to guide them in the direction of what they are wanting. I came here as a course turner.
It is really hard though to try to hold this polarity of my purpose with the fact that I am also a mother. I am a mother with a very close community and the need I have to fulfill this purpose around the world is so often in conflict with my need to be at home with my son and with the people who I call family. Most people consider me to be an obvious extrovert because of what I do in the world. But in fact the side that is much more intrinsic to my core is an introverted one. I am a writer and an artist. I could sit in a mountain cabin and write and cook and paint and cuddle with the animals and people I love most for eternity. But when I do this for too long, an insatiable inner force compels me to go out into the world. And so, I have found a happy balance between my work in the world and my 'homebody'. It is like inhaling and exhaling now. But I still intensely dislike leaving anyone behind. I already travel with a large entourage of sorts. But if I had it only my way, that entourage would include everyone I am close to. I am hoping that Winter (my son) hits the age, readiness and maturity level to come with me soon so he can learn from the world and so that I can stop grappling with the inevitable guilt that every mother grapples with when they have a career, especially one that requires travel.
The documentary that the director, Paola Marino made about me was released this week. It is now available online and I am told that there will be several live screenings of it in conjunction with my workshops. I have been battling with myself and with other people for the last two years about the focus on my personal background story. On one hand, it is an integral piece of who I am. It also involves several elements that are important to draw social awareness to. On the other hand, something always happens when people find out about my background; all the focus and interest goes to my personal story rather than to the information I am actually wanting to present. This has been frustrating me greatly. I have been mostly obliging people up to now and answering all their questions and allowing the focus to be steered there. But recently I decided I am going to steer the focus to where I actually want it, on the content instead of on me. The documentary is about me and so naturally; it contains lots of content about my background. So when I found out that it had been released in perfect conjunction with my decision to pull the focus off of me and onto the content, I had to laugh to myself. That is some cosmic irony right there. But I saw the segments of film that Paola shot while she was filming me over the course of two years and they are full of poetic metaphor. In my personal opinion, she is first and foremost a visual artist. She directs from this place and so it should prove to be a real visual art piece.
I will be writing more blogs over the next couple of weeks as I taste new experiences across Europe. For now, I need to try to get some sleep if I can. I find sleeping on planes impossibly hard. If I fail, I will resort to an entire flight of meditation and whatever new awareness that provides.