Isolation is the dominant feel of these endless deserts of the South Western United States. Each tree and shrub must fend for its own survival. Even though they are rooted close together, their energy fields do not touch one another. Each one is living its own life adjacent to, but not with, the other life forms in the vicinity. It is ironic that I was born in the desert chaparral because it is my least favorite kind of landscape. It feels like the kind of place where a person would starve to death, but that death from starvation would be a wanted experience simply to escape the ineffable emotional isolation of being there. Some people love this feeling. For me, this unfriendly isolation inspires anxiety instead of a sense of peace.
I have returned to Santa Fe, New Mexico, the place where I was born. I decided to visit here for no other reason than intuition. Often I will feel a call and a knowing that I have to be somewhere. I feel mixed about this condition because on the one hand, it is good to feel my intuition so strongly that it cannot be denied. On the other hand, I am not really a person who loves travel. So this inner call represents more of an “I must” rather than an “I want to”. But it was a welcome opportunity to check up on the progress of the Completion Process observational study.
Your body was forged from the water belonging to the place you were conceived and gestated. Your body responds to it. One of the best things you can do on a physical level when you are feeling like you need a re-set is to drink the natural water that can be found in the place your body was forged. I have come here to drink it and to soak it in. On Sunday, we went to the Ojo Mineral Hot Springs. Upon arrival, the place was consumed by an electrical snowstorm. While the lightning passed, everyone sat in their swimsuits around the various open fires with the wind blowing snowflakes down from a vicious purple sky. We sat in the hot vapor kicking up from the pools. People sitting across the pool from you disappeared and then reappeared through the blinding mist as it moved. My favorite was the Lithia pool. The water in that pool felt light by comparison and sprite-like. I was transfixed by a group of three young women with coffee colored skin who kept simultaneously leaning their long black hair back into the spouts where the water flowed into the pool. Their exquisite profiles were shining wet. They were like a moving painting where the innocence of youth meets the sensuality that belongs to a woman.
We visited the Bandelier National Monument as well. The Ancestral Pueblo tribe that lived there was a small civilization, a bit like a large intentional community. We walked through the ruins of the adobe houses arranged in a circle below more dwellings carved into the rock cliffs above. Of all the native sites I’ve been to, I’ve never seen such a vibrationally positive dwelling. It is not very common to see thought forms that are truly positive in nature. Most of the ones that last through time are branded there by intense negative energy. But at Bandelier, there is a thought form of a love affair that took place between a teenage girl and boy. The imprint of them is still as alive as it ever was. It is located near the right cliff face and hidden from view of the village center below and just before the very first staircase you get to on the loop trail. I stopped to stare at it and stopped Ale to see if he could see or feel it for a while. Being there, I couldn’t help but imagine a Teal Tribe community being built just like this one was. I love intentional community. There is nothing better than poking your face out of your apartment to see the people you love most already milling around the common areas.
The Dominant Negative Vibration of Santa Fe is: Enigma. There is a sharp and shadowy energy to Santa Fe. It is not a safe feeling town on an energetic level. It is intense and it is a vortex, like Sedona Arizona. And the people who call Santa Fe home carry the same intensity… The same sharp shadow. No matter how calm things may look on the surface, there is no tranquility under the surface. But that lack of tranquility is enigmatic. The people of Santa Fe suffer from the feeling that their internal worlds will never be known, perhaps even also to themselves. They are puzzling. They are mysterious. And they are difficult to understand. This creates a feeling of deep angst and deep desolation. It is a painful, sharp, grinding desolation that eats at the people. No amount of friendliness can close the distance between whatever is being seen and whatever ‘thing’ inside they want to have be seen. It is a perfect mirror of the landscape that the city is built on. The people here have a deep desire to be understood by themselves and also by other people. But this desire seems impossible for them to actualize. The angst of this condition is by far the most dominant negative vibration in the city.
The Dominant Positive Vibration of Santa Fe is: Art. This vibration owes itself to the negative vibration of the town. The angst that the people feel to be known and understood compels people to express themselves in whatever way they can. But since the people themselves do not know what it is exactly inside them that needs to be known, they cannot speak it. They are therefore most inspired to use their hands. In doing so, they create art. Artists are like worlds unto themselves. They are enigmatic. Their art is the visual glimpse that you get of what you can only feel inside their minds and hearts. Santa Fe is itself like a gallery of artists. There is art absolutely everywhere. And each single piece of art has such depth to it. Each piece has an identity unto itself and is possessed by soul. Creativity, as an expression of the human soul, is thicker by far than the air in the city. Because of this dominant positive vibration of the city, it is perhaps the best place I have ever found to shop for unique art pieces. To be in Santa Fe and to not be an artist is to be a fish out of water.
I remember everything about this place. I remember the pueblo style plazas. I remember the way the light turns peachy between the sandstone color of the buildings. I remember the dried chili peppers that hang in heavy bunches from the wood rafters. I remember the abundance of turquoise in the glowing shop windows. I remember the emotion of the sky. I have vivid memories of being put in my baby carrier and walked through these streets. I remember how the natives in the area lay out their South Western style woolen blankets in a row under the rafters of the buildings; and sell their hand made crafts. Their hands and faces tanned and weathered into wrinkles that mirror the landscape of the land they belong to. And I have come full circle today by coming here in so many ways. I will leave Santa Fe knowing that a new cycle of my life has begun.