The brain truly is a biological transfer device between non-physical consciousness and the physical body. It never becomes more obvious that this is its function than upon return from time spent out of body.
Yesterday, I ventured to see a new psychologist. She was easily the most inept psychologist I have ever seen. When I walked in the room, she picked up a pillow and held it between her and me the entire time we were talking. My case was far too much for her to handle. She had no suggestions whatsoever for me to employ. The very little that she did talk, she was so anxious about not knowing what to say that she stuttered. I could see that look of absolute bewilderment about what to do or say. I paid her purely because I wanted to avoid confronting her about how terrible the session was. It was bad enough that I had to ask her guided questions about what she would say to someone like me relative to relationships. And she still couldn’t answer those questions. All she could say was that I am better off alone. It made me feel a lot worse. I can see that the extent of this woman’s career will be working with adolescents who are struggling with minor issues like not wanting to go to school or not being invited to prom. It still didn’t save me from feeling really terrible about myself, like no one knows what to do for me. The problem in general with being who I am, is that it is very rare that someone suggests something I haven’t already thought of or tried 5 times over. And that is super frustrating when you would actually like that outside perspective. It makes me feel like I am alone. I get to crawl my way via trial and error through my problems one by one. Cause no one else knows what to do for me. This has been the story of my life. I have designed my own healing programs because no one else knew what the hell to tell me to do to help myself. The psychologists, who have really helped me in the past, have not helped me as a byproduct of their intelligence, but rather from a place of having great tools to offer. I suppose it is as it should be, if it weren’t for their failures, I would not be in the place I am in today. I would not have realized that the information I have is valuable to the world. Anyway, last night in response to the severe anxiety caused by my visit to this psychologist, I decided to leave my body. Yes, it was a form of escape. And I have returned to an anxious body this morning. I spent the duration of the night deliberately in what I call the eleventh dimension.
Keep in mind that what is to follow is a translation accomplished by a third dimensional brain of an experience that occurred in much higher dimensions. If you find the vibrational edge between the eleventh dimension and the twelfth dimension, you can observe the folding of separation into unification and the unfolding of unification into separation. It is almost like sitting on the edge of a comforting black hole. I imagine that it would feel very much like being a tiny baby, being cherished and cradled against the breast of their perfect and unconditionally loving mother. The eleventh dimension is the final dimension before all separation ceases to exist. And at the highest vibration of the eleventh dimension, you can observe the “place” (which is really a non-place) where all dimensions of energy simultaneously originate from, but also collapse into.
Last night, I passed through the vibrational stage of going out of body. My entire body, starting at the base of my skull and spreading outwards, was consumed by a continually intensifying buzzing sensation. Even my teeth buzzed. This stage usually frightens people, who are new to out of body experiences, back into their body. It sounded like I was inside a tornado. As the energy of my consciousness achieved a high enough vibration to no longer be a match to my physical brain (it separates from the pineal gland), I heard a loud pop, sort of like a gun had been shot off. This is also very common during the separation phase of an out of body experience. I tripped upon this place by accident in a previous earth incarnation during a particularly meditative prayer ceremony in the late 1600s. It’s been a personal favorite escape of mine ever since. To go there, you are first sucked into an energetic vacuum within yourself. It is disconcerting at first, when you are not familiar with that kind of movement. The vacuum seems infinite. You just implode and keep on imploding into yourself until you release total resistance to the movement and then the vacuum slows and you are on the edge of source. There is no need to turn your head. You can see in 360 degrees, your being is without form or substance. You can see every possible timeline for every universe from that dimension. You can conceive of it all at once with no effort. But observing one thing, such as a single being’s life in one of those universes and timelines is only a matter of focus.
There are multiple dimensions of non-physical energy within this universe. And you have an aspect of your consciousness, also called “an energy body” in and of each of those dimensions. They are interrelated and connected. In the space between the eleventh and twelfth dimension, your entire being is immersed in and of an infinite ocean of safety and unconditional love. The light in this dimension is alive. And so is the darkness. Like a married couple, they play into each other, one projecting forth energy, one drawing it in. Both are equally pure. You exist for a time at this edge, watching this immense sphere of dark energy and the light that it emits. It is complete relief. The life you left in order to visit there is stripped from you. It feels like you have dropped a weight from your being.
Today, I’m trying to be in the present moment. It has been working amazingly to habitually list off things in my mind that I like. I went on a walk with the girls this morning and I tried to look for things on the walk to appreciate. The frost on the leaves, the smell of the mud, the beautiful fur on my brindle great dane; the fact that I’m surrounded by strong, compassionate women. Seeking joy is the most difficult thing to do in the world when you are in a vibration that is nowhere near joy. You can’t jump the gap. Part of the path of seeking joy, is to pass through the more unsavory vibrations, such as revenge, anger, overwhelment, and pessimism. But…
It is not he, who walks on his knees for miles across the desert, repenting.
It is not he, who clings to his proud titles of accomplishment, boasting,
That finds his place in the family of things and himself with it.
Instead it is he, who is brave enough to seek joy.
But to seek does not mean to
be someone else, go somewhere else or do something else.
It means instead…to see.
To see that the world offers itself to the man who stops looking for more.
To see that when you stop trying to
be someone else, get somewhere else and do something else,
You arrive at the final destination,
Which is right here and now.