• Pura Vida

    beach ride.jpgThe sound of her breathing crashed against the sound of each wave rolling in.  Her hooves clapped against the rim of ocean foam that led each wave to the sand.  Like lace, her hooves tore through it.  Her grey mane bounced against the powerful muscles of her neck. When she walked, a spray of salt water came up over my legs and the stirrups.  I held her back behind the group of other horses to be alone with her and the ocean.  I was not alone like I usually am looking out across the ocean.  I was with her, endlessness in front of us.  The infinite ocean was cold and deep and timeless.  But we were merged as if united in facing it.  Her large heartbeat beneath my calves granted her body warmth that fed me.  My heart found an identical rhythm with hers.  I felt the same feeling I fell in love with when I was young.  The feeling when your body and the horse’s body become one body.  It is the closest I have ever felt to companionship and safety.

    This week, I got to scratch something off of my bucket list…  Riding a horse on a beach.  I have been a complete horse fanatic since I was 2 years old.  I also learned to ride at 2 years old.  I had a horse the whole time I was growing up.  In the rural west of the United States, your horse stays in the back yard and so I would walk out back, get on (usually bareback) and ride off into the mountains for hours alone.  It is one of the most heartbreaking sacrifices I have had to make for living the life I have now with my “mission” so to speak.  I travel too much and don’t have enough time to dedicate to the lifestyle that is owning horses.  One day, I will return to it again.  But the one thing I had never done, which every horse lover must do before they die is to ride a horse on a beach.  It was even better than I thought it was going to be.  I was in pure heaven with not one negative thought for 2 hours straight.  For 2 hours, I was feeling safe and perfectly happy to be on earth.

    We were so busy setting up Philia here in Costa Rica that we didn’t get any chance to explore any of Costa Rica until this last week.  One of the things that never ceases to amaze me about this country is that despite its tiny size, you can drive 5 minutes and be in a totally different environment.  Every place feels different.  And hidden among them all are little gems.  Sanctuaries that are so beautiful, they don’t seem real.  This country is more beautiful than a picture could ever portray. 

    images.jpegMoving to a foreign country (like Costa Rica) is a war internally in the beginning.  It follows the natural course of any relationship.  To begin with, you’re in the ‘honeymoon phase’.  Everything you are focused on is positive…  The things that made you move there to begin with.  Then you enter the ‘individuation phase’.  You start to encounter things that you fear, things that make you feel like you don’t belong there at all.  At this point, you start to compare all the negative things about the new with all the positive things about the old. You get homesick.  There is a war between the part of you that hates it and the part of you that loves it.  If you get beyond this phase, eventually a secure relationship emerges.  The war within subsides.  You find ways to harmonize with the things that you clashed with and one day it begins to feel like home.

    full-pura-vida-in-tree-cabuya.jpgAny kind of contrast you can experience, brings with it incredible clarity.  I am so clear on what I love and don’t love about each country because of being able to experience so many contrasting experiences both traveling and living abroad.  One thing that I have been thinking a lot about on this trip is the role of government.  In Costa Rica the government is not palpable at all.  The freedom that is experienced here as a result is something akin to a friendly version of the wild west.  There is no sense of external social control.  And the Costa Rican people have a very laid back attitude towards the dangers that most governments seek to prevent.  Places that would be illegal to go because of risk in the US are lucky to come with a warning sign here.  The country slogan “Pura Vida” actually reflects this way of being.  You can use the saying as a greeting and as a way to say goodbye.  You can use it when you are remarking about the beauty of a place.  But it is commonly used here when things go wrong.  For example, if your car breaks down or if the electricity goes out.  “Pura Vida” is a way of saying “shit happens”.  And this allowing state of being is central to the culture here.  I remember asking a tour guide if they had ever had serious accidents at a particular waterfall site and his answer was, “if it’s your day to die, it’s your day to die… Pura Vida”.

    FUERZA_PUBA_1.gifYou can see people speeding at 70 miles an hour past police officers.  You will see them standing on street corners chatting with huge smiles on their faces.  Police officers here are like everyone’s local friend.  At first, coming from America, this lackadaisical way of living and governing made me feel really unsafe.  But recently a whole new way of feeling has come over me.  The government officials, including police officers, are supposed to be there for the wellbeing of the citizens.  Their salaries are paid for by the taxes of the citizens themselves.  It is an enormous amount of trust in fact that the people of society are placing in people who hold these positions.  And the reality is that in many places, places like America, there is a rift between the government and the people.  In America, as much as we may not want to admit to it, government officials and police officers are not our friends.  We fear them.  As an American, I grew up fearing the police and thinking that was just normal.  It wasn’t until I began traveling to places like Costa Rica that it really dawned on me how dysfunctional that is.  If the people in a country fear their own police and fear the people in their own government, that is a huge problem.  It means the country has the perfect recipe for military state, oligarchy or totalitarian dictatorship.  Now, I regard this as being one of the most functional aspects of Costa Rica.  Something that I wish it could share with the rest of the world. 

    I encountered an unfortunate pattern this week after I posted the videos and pictures from this week of touring…  A wave of people who were super angry and feeling betrayed to see those pictures.  Pictures where I was enjoying myself when so many people on earth are suffering.  

    When we are in pain or suffering the lack of something, it hurts to see someone who is happy and who has what we lack.  There is nothing wrong with this.  What is wrong with this is that we don’t want to admit that we are in pain about it or admit to why we are in pain about it.  So we believe it is the person who is happy or who has what we want that is causing our pain.  There were messages like “This post is an illustration of what is wrong in this world. If spiritual teachers would actually take care of the people facing tragedy and hardship instead of taking part in shallow pleasures, the world would be a much better place.”  Or “Considering you’re always concerned with everyone’s feelings, I don’t understand why you choose to ride horses”.  Or “Does Teal do anything besides photo-shoots?”  These comments all boiled down to one theme: You’re doing something bad and wrong by enjoying yourself like this.  There was an underlying assumption that by enjoying myself in these ways, I was causing suffering in the world.

    This slew of anger made me think.  Being in my position now, many doors to novel experiences are open to me.  Those experiences are the ones that people see on social media, not the downsides to being in my position.  They do not see the price I pay for it until they, themselves try to be in the same position.  They do not see the moments when I am suffering.  One day I might do a blog specifically about these downsides.  But this reaction people had highlighted a collective human issue.  The issue is:  You can’t win.  If you’re unhappy, you’re shamed for being unhappy and not being able to feel good.  When you feel good, you’re shamed for feeling good because of how many people are not feeling good.  People project the way they think you SHOULD be living and the things you should and shouldn’t be doing onto each other and it puts everyone in a position to never win.

    IMG_3035.JPGThink about this:  No one except the people who live with me have any idea of what my ACTUAL day looks like.  If I wanted to mislead you, I could do that easily.  I could choose to only post the pictures of myself at a soup kitchen feeding homeless people.  Or pictures of me hugging all the people whose jobs and families depend on me.  Or pictures of myself only meditating and doing yoga.  I could paint only the picture I know people want to see.  This is what most of my own colleagues do.  But then, I wouldn’t win because people would say I’m completely egocentric for doing that.  I could only have one of two motives for doing that.  1. Being so desperate for other people to see me as a good person narcissistically that I have to show the world what a spiritual and philanthropic person I am.  2. Trying to get people to follow my example and do the same thing.  The reality is that most people in the public eye simply do it for good PR. 

    This issue we have as people goes beyond deliberate misleading as well.  People on Facebook for example don’t necessarily deliberately mislead each other.  It’s just that when you’re suffering and when you’re fighting to the degree that it seems like the marriage is over and when you’re puking your guts up or when the baby is screaming in the middle of the night, it isn’t the time that anyone films each other or takes pictures.  Those aren’t the pictures you’ll see in anyone’s photo albums.  But they exist in every person’s life.  And honestly if you were suffering like that and someone grabbed a camera to film it, it would feel bad.  It would feel as if instead of being supported, they are making a spectacle of you.  But when we are in pain, these photo albums make it seem like everyone else is in heaven and we are alone in hell.  When we don’t have the capacity to face our own pain, we make it about them being bad.  When we don’t have enough money to feel free and secure and abundant, we make the wealthy person a horrible person for having the luxury they have in their life.  When we feel like we need rescue in some way from some pain, we make the person who is enjoying himself or herself a horrible person for being self centered.  We make them the reason that we can’t have what we want so badly.  This state is powerless.  This state holds us apart from being able to create what we want out of this life. 

    When we are not in someone’s shoes, we assume things.  We assume things that are often entirely inaccurate.  You are not in someone’s shoes (perspective) deep enough until you realize that you would make the exact same decisions that they are making.  You are not far enough in someone’s shoes until the judgment you had towards them dissolves.  It is the decision that someone’s perspective is wrong or bad that makes us incapable of stepping into their shoes.  Our ego will not let us do it for fear of becoming wrong or bad ourselves.

    It is time to become aware of the vulnerability in ourselves that is being triggered by other people.  The personal pain behind the anger and protection mechanisms aimed towards other people.  We do not need to be ashamed of this pain.  This pain is the one that has been needing our care and attention.  We need to take a serious look at the fact that we make it so there are social consequences when we feel bad and social consequences when we feel good.  We need to take a look at the guilt and shame we have as well as the guilt that we impose on others surrounding enjoyment. Especially enjoyment that requires financial abundance.  We need to get that the pictures we see on social media capture 1/1000th of a person’s life. It’s much easier to assume than it is to ask a question.  This is especially true when we are triggered by something and therefore closed in defense.  A question requires openness.  It is much easier to decide that someone is a bad person than it is to really look through our pain at our own vulnerability.  Looking through our own pain for our vulnerability requires great courage. 

    Today, I invite you to face your guilt and shame around enjoyment.  If you were really enjoying yourself to the highest degree possible, why would that be wrong and bad?  Teal and JP.jpg

     




    User Feedback


    Totally spot on about government; guilt and shame that surrounds the feeling of happiness as it relates to people's lives and abundance. When it comes to government, I tell people that systems are inherently heartless but what you can do is manifest the best people that represent that system in your life. You have to take what you like about the current system you are in and ways that it can be improved; but the first step is always to fill the gaps that you feel the system is in desperate need of yourself. I used to get really angry when I would see a happy couple walking around while I am single. Took me a long time to feel into  that pain and deal with it, now I am happy to just see people laughing and smiling because it lets me know that happiness is possible, if they can have it I can have it and I do have it because to quote the Beatles you are me and we are all together. Great blog teal keep it up.

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    Teal, I love it when you share this kind of pictures on instagram, to me it says that life is supposed to be fun and amazing. Whereas when you share negative things, I get it, but it also makes think of how difficult it is to be overcome the past and be happy. I study finance and I have a good relationship with money, so maybe that's why I get it.

     

    Edited by avilesandres
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    Yeah, it makes sense people get angry when others are happy. I suppose it's understandable. In the end, they are the ones getting angry, theyare the ones creating suffering for themselves. Then they spread this suffering with hateful comments and they become one more source of the same suffering they claim to care about. Ironic. But that's how life is or as the Costa Ricans would say: " es pura vida."

    I myself have been very sick now since March and I'm recovery very slowly. I feel crappy most of the time and my husband is happy and singing while sitting next to me on the couch. Really, there are time s when I just want to punch him on the stomach and tell him to shut up. Partly because in wish I could be healthy already, mostly because he is very  annoying. But  I dont  do this, because I know I'm very annoying myself.  Do I feel like a bad  person for feeling this way? Guilty? Bad wife? Not really. I used to feel bad about it when I was religious because  I wanted to be perfect. Now I just t want to be honest with myself. 

    So, even though my husband annoys me and I want to punch him, I let him be happy. I don't stop him or make him feel bad about being happy. I have learned to feel happy for him even though I feel like crap. And about teal's pictures, I love them. If I was as pretty as her, I would take pictures of myself  all the time. It's because of her pictures that now  I am more interested to visit  Costa Rica  some day. 

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    What the fuck JP sears doing there?

    Here is a perfect song for you teal-

    Ludovico Einaudi - Run

     

     

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    The greenkeeper Mr. Brown-Mooron was walking on the ships top-deck searching for an eagle or an albatross when he met the ships entertainment-boss Jam Session, but due to a memory loss, after an accident with Great Bill, he had just booked the rookie jazz touring band Baguette & Tourette instead of the upcoming R&B band Electric Car-Penters ...

     

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    Do people who are angry with you, feel rejected by you when you are indifferent to their efforts to contact you, and then they see you on a pleasant trip?

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    Teal, I really hope you hear the call to rest, relax and enjoy yourself more, despite some people projecting their own lack onto you. Imagine a world where we all feel like ALL our life is a holiday .... your life! Please, I hope these people don't get to you!!! Thank you for diving deep into their perspectives and sharing your gold mine of  insights! I appreciate you beyond measure! I hope you enjoy the fuck out of life today, and everyday xx 😘 

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    On 20/07/2017 at 7:37 AM, EvenStar said:

    Yeah, it makes sense people get angry when others are happy. I suppose it's understandable. In the end, they are the ones getting angry, theyare the ones creating suffering for themselves. Then they spread this suffering with hateful comments and they become one more source of the same suffering they claim to care about. Ironic. But that's how life is or as the Costa Ricans would say: " es pura vida."

    I myself have been very sick now since March and I'm recovery very slowly. I feel crappy most of the time and my husband is happy and singing while sitting next to me on the couch. Really, there are time s when I just want to punch him on the stomach and tell him to shut up. Partly because in wish I could be healthy already, mostly because he is very  annoying. But  I dont  do this, because I know I'm very annoying myself.  Do I feel like a bad  person for feeling this way? Guilty? Bad wife? Not really. I used to feel bad about it when I was religious because  I wanted to be perfect. Now I just t want to be honest with myself. 

    So, even though my husband annoys me and I want to punch him, I let him be happy. I don't stop him or make him feel bad about being happy. I have learned to feel happy for him even though I feel like crap. And about teal's pictures, I love them. If I was as pretty as her, I would take pictures of myself  all the time. It's because of her pictures that now  I am more interested to visit  Costa Rica  some day. 

    I wish you health and a speedy recovery first of all! Thank you for sharing your story, it's always so amazing to see how teals theories correspond and connect to each other. It's also good to get an honest opinion from someone with chronic pain. My grandpa  has had chronic health issues for months and I'm living with him.   He never expresses himself honestly, so it was helpful to read your words. It's always better to be honest with yourself I also completely agree! Thank you and much love ❤️ 

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    Teal:

     

    It is highly unlikely that the people who hate and resent you are going to give up their hateful tendencies and reactions towards you just because you inform them that you have immense periods of suffering in your life like they do. They are not going to allow themselves to be fooled or persuaded so easily, because they know full well and believe that what you say is not really that true. They know instead that when you’re current relationship with Ale finally disintegrates, that their will soon be a new lover or potential mate to take his place in a very short order. They know full well that you have many options and opportunities to explore while they feel and believe they are stuck in their painful isolated reality of suffering. These people don’t have a plane to catch so that they can lead the next expansive work shop. And they certainly don’t own a retreat in Costa Rica.  It would not be wise to think the people who resent you for the fun they perceive you are having are suddenly going to show empathy and compassion towards you. And why should they. No one is really showing any concern, empathy, or compassion for their suffering. All they are receiving is further attack and condemnation.

     

    The Abraham-Hicks community that you have spoken so fondly of on other occasions have the most destructive suggestion ever uttered. They would tell people who are unhappy because they don’t have what they want “to be happy and joyful” towards the people who are experiencing abundance, relationships, intimacy, success, and happiness. Ain’t never going to happen as you well know.

     

    People like me and others who are resentful because we feel and believe we cannot have love, good relationships, abundance, and happiness are not going to look and feel favorably towards you. We are going to see you as the enemy who is more blessed and looked out for. We are going to feel triggered when we see your success and abundance.

     

    At least you are honest and forth coming with your suffering and despair when they come. Does anyone think Mary Ann Williamson, Neal Walsch, Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer and all the other useless teachers to those who suffer are going to admit their pain? I respect you for that and that is why I still hang around.

     

    It is going to take much more to convince haters and those who resent than just to use words to tell them that because you experience abundance and success does not mean they cannot have it. Because this is precisely what we believe. When I see you successful or able to easily attract a lover or sexual partner, I feel damned. I feel angry and resentful. I do feel you are better than me and others and that God shows special favor towards you. When I see you successful, I feel much more despair and suicidal, believing you possess what I don’t and cannot have.

     

    Although you are headed in the right direction, there is still yet a teacher to appear to really address and help those individuals who hate, attack, and resent you and others because they feel threatened by your beauty, abundance, popularity, and success. I think you could be that teacher if you would make the final commitment to do so. I am one who knows and have lived what I have just shared.

     

    What I find most disappointing is that you will never see my words or read what I have put forth here.

    Edited by Wayne Williams
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    JP is the perfect person to help us recognize the humor in spirituality.  

    I lived life depressed because when I was happy, a family member would always try to bring me down about it.  They would ask with a disgusted look... "Why?"  But then when I was depressed, they would say shit like "you create your own reality" or "be positive"... HA!  

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    I cried from happiness when I saw your happy posts, especially riding the horse on the beach. ♡ 

    It's really strange to me that people are angry at you for being happy. I felt so much relief at being able to see this side of you. Being able to feel true enjoyment in your life.

    You are so open about so much pain, which is incredibly meaningful, but sometimes I feel sad for you, to only see you in pain, only always being tortured still. I was so glad to see that this isn't all your life is. ♡

    Edited by Rosewood
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    What a great Blog - so thank you Teal. Riding a horse on a beach I did as a teenager. I know you rode in CHCH, New Zealand. So riding on the beach - so glad you finally find your wind....

    I had to laugh inside when I read about people complaining about you in this. So, so sad and yet funny at the same time. I fielded a judgement from someone who decided to look up Teal Swan after my promotion of Teal's books at a Mind Body Soul event in Napier, NZ. This spiritual person who is also a clinical therapist amongst NLP, EFT etc etc and of course she found an Anti-Teal site and asked me to comment. I now have a real live Detractor and know what's coming next as the event was put on by a fellow psychologist (as well as others).

    So maybe I'll keep you people tuned when things start to happen... otherwise, I have also asked myself...
    "Why did I feel the need to defend Teal by accusing this person of judgement when all she did was look at this one site and not Teal's work itself? "Why, when she asked for comment did I say that she should give Teal the same consideration and the benefit of the doubt that she would normally give to a Client of hers and listen to teal's story before making up her mind based on others..?"
    We have interesting ways of reacting. This woman now is seething in wounded professional pride; possibly intended spite.

    Pura Vida...

    crystal Rob

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    Teal, you can not make EVERYONE happy...

    Wayne Williams

    I appreciate your honesty. I wish you all the best so you can see with clarity. Probably it will happen sooner or later. This state of mind can't last too long - otherwise it would drain all life from you. It is hell, I have been there, I know how it feels. Would you feel better if you see her poor and ugly? There is the same inner and outer beauty in you as in Teal but it could be hidden... And that is what Teal said in the movie about competition. Instead of trying to "slow down" our "opponent" we should do everything we can so we can run even faster. If she doesn't make you feel better anymore... just "leave" her and go in peace :) There is a a chance that she will read what you have written but remember that the Universe always listen to you. And she is a part of the Universe. Sometimes we feel like we are alone but we are never alone.

    Good luck my Friend.

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    On 7/28/2017 at 3:11 PM, Thomas88 said:

    Teal, you can not make EVERYONE happy...

    Wayne Williams

    I appreciate your honesty. I wish you all the best so you can see with clarity. Probably it will happen sooner or later. This state of mind can't last too long - otherwise it would drain all life from you. It is hell, I have been there, I know how it feels. Would you feel better if you see her poor and ugly? There is the same inner and outer beauty in you as in Teal but it could be hidden... And that is what Teal said in the movie about competition. Instead of trying to "slow down" our "opponent" we should do everything we can so we can run even faster. If she doesn't make you feel better anymore... just "leave" her and go in peace :) There is a a chance that she will read what you have written but remember that the Universe always listen to you. And she is a part of the Universe. Sometimes we feel like we are alone but we are never alone.

    Good luck my Friend.

    I could care less Thomas 88 what you appreciate about my honesty. You can tell me or others all day long that the same inner and outer beauty resides in me or others as it does in Teal and it will do nothing but  further antagonize the people who suffer and are resentful. The sate of mind of resentment can last a lifetime and has no expiration date regardless of what you say. Teal got the help she needed in counseling when she was younger and because of her beauty had no problem in attracting people into her life to reinforce she was desirable. I did not find that help even after 250 therapists and being hospitalized in mental hospitals 13 times. No one who does not have their needs being met is going to look at Teal and say to themselves: "If she can be successful, prosperous, and happy, then so can I." Teal knows what is going on in regards to all the hate being directed towards her. She just does not want to really address it. People who hate and resent are not going away. She can sweep them under the rug or she can embrace them as a part of herself. You are not my friend.

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    On 02/08/2017 at 0:10 PM, Wayne Williams said:

    No one who does not have their needs being met is going to look at Teal and say to themselves: "If she can be successful, prosperous, and happy, then so can I."

    I know how it looks from the point of view of someone who barely walks - watching someone who runs a sprint is not very motivating (but only if we do not believe that we are able to run fast as well). That is why we should never compare with each other. There is this guy - Nick Vujicic - he does not have arms and legs - and yet he is happy and successful... Everyone have or do not have something... Why do we compare with others and focus on what we don't have instead of appreciate what we have (even if it is just an arm or a leg... probably Nick would give everything for "just" an arm...)?

    Nobody is perfect. There will be always someone who is richer, more successful, more handsome, stronger, smarter... if we measure a human value in this way...

    Quote

    I did not find that help even after 250 therapists and being hospitalized in mental hospitals 13 times.

    I think we should not always trust "specialists" in 100%. If I would not take my life in my hands probably I would still be very unhappy and sick...

    Still wish you the best.

    Edited by Thomas88
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