I sat in a courtyard open to the sky. Disciples wandered past at a leisurely pace. The light weaving it’s way through the place, tinted itself pink as a result of reflecting off of the immense carmine colored walls. I couldn’t help but think about the labor that went into building such a place. Nearly every inch of it made from small, layered bricks. The place, like a palace is comprised of numerous live in rooms, temples, classrooms and meditation halls, and a 9 story library where some of the oldest written records of ancient philosophy and religious scripture, medicine and law, astronomy and architecture and so much more reside. A meeting place for the exchange of information, I left my body last night on purpose to find a very specific teacher who was said to have graced the hallways of this, Nalanda University in ancient India.
Silabhadra was a monk, who in his time was a highly regarded philosopher. He is considered an expert in the Mahayana teachings, a collection of teachings centered on how to become a bodhisattva, especially when it comes to the idea and practice of cessation. Emptiness as it meant to Silabhadra was the still point of liberation whereby there is no rising and no falling (of vibration), no light and no dark. No past and no future. All were an illusion of the mind. Now a little known fact about Silabhadra is that because of his intense study and personal practice of Sunyata, he attained the ability to time travel and was one of the first scholars to record his findings in the area of consciousness and it’s implications with regards to time travel. The original text are written in traditional Chinese, many of them stuffed inside other Buddhist texts that he spent his time translating from Sanskrit into Chinese.
I walked in on one of his lectures and watched him for a time, having no conscious understanding of what he was saying, as it was all spoken in a different language. But I absorbed the feeling of the place. Even though Silabhadra had made a life long practice of giving up worldly attachments, he still demanded respect; so much so that his students at the end of the session I witnessed, all assumed a position on their knees and elbows and crawled backwards so as to not turn their back to him. I sat in the courtyard long after the rest had left and he stared at me, motioned an aggressive hand gesture as if to tell me to get up and go. When I did not, he tilted his head as if in acknowledgement. I called one of my personal guides to project himself forward as a translator. The first thing Silabhadra said (translated by my guide) is “this place is a sacred place”, as if to warn me if I had negative intentions. I told him that I came from the stars. It was the most benevolent and understandable thing I could think of to say to explain my out of the ordinary presence there. To that, he smiled and his eyes widened. He kept his distance as if deciding whether he was afraid or if he was privileged. It was interesting to me that he did not doubt what I said, I wondered if he had not had interactions with extraterrestrial beings in his daily yogic practices. Long story short, we engaged in a conversation where I asked him about time travel. And I told him about my experience 2 days ago, which was the very reason for my visit to him.
When I was seven years old, I had dropped a cup of water when I was with my childhood mentor/abuser. My punishment is that he grabbed my neck and forced me to the ground to drink water out of the dog bowl, then sexually abused me. After which point, he injected me with ketamine and I dropped deep into what they call a “K hole”. But I went deep enough into this K hole that I found myself sitting in front of a stone fireplace, reclined on a couch with two darker skinned people sitting over me, touching my arms softly. On my left, a plump and friendly female, with her hair pulled back and deep chocolate colored eyes. She knew my name. She was telling me “Hi Teal, We’re right here, we aren’t going to leave you alone. We’re here with you”. To my right, a man who looked Native American to me, with short black hair, slightly peppered with silver strands. He had a proud, strong jaw and coffee colored skin. He was looking into my eyes as if worried about me. He was also looking guilty. I saw a necklace around the woman’s neck. The pendant attached to it, was a drawing of a pattern I had seen for years around people’s heart area. I was mesmerized by it. I picked it up and she took it off of her neck for me to see. I knew that it needed to go to the man’s chest. His heart chakra was so closed that it did not spin in a circular motion like it should. No energy in, no energy out. I placed it over his heart and he and the woman chuckled to each other as if they knew what I was doing and why I was doing it. A slight vibration of shame came over the man’s energy field. I proceeded to perform a small energy healing technique on the man to connect his heart energy field with his head energy field because his energy was pouring from his heart through his base chakra. When I was done, I lost consciousness again, and was back in the room with my mentor, who was holding a lemongrass essence under my nose. That day, I had assumed that I was taken to another place in the universe to do a healing on this “Native American man”. That is, I thought that until two days ago.
On occasion, I still struggle to stay conscious when I am especially triggered by something that reminds me of my childhood. Two days ago, in my waking life, I was triggered in such a way that I lost consciousness. On occasion, when I am unconscious, the people who are around me will be able to talk to a previous self. It is as if the adult me leaves and the child self that is in the memory that was triggered steps forward. It just so happens that two days ago, my seven-year-old self stepped forward after I spilled a cup of water. Graciela and my husband talked to this aspect of my consciousness for nearly half an hour, after sitting me down on the couch in the living room. They say that during the episode, I saw my Anahata frequency painting around Graciela’s neck and took it from her to place it on my husband’s chest and proceeded to perform an energy healing session on him, before losing consciousness again.
When I came back to consciousness as my adult self again, I was hit by a wave of Déjà vu so strong, it actually made tears rise up in my tear ducts and the veins in my neck felt like they were full of lighter fluid. I jumped. I said “Oh my god, I’ve seen this, I’ve been here” I went on to explain that when I was seven years old, I had been in this exact place, with he and Graciela, but I didn’t know who they were back then. I had not lost consciousness as a seven year old to travel to an unknown place in the universe; I had traveled into my own future. I was holding the frequency jewelry that I was going to create. I was sitting with my future husband, an Indian man who only looked Native American to me because I had never seen an Indian man before. Amazing.
Unbelievable as it felt even for me, I had to consult someone about what had occurred, so I went in search of Silabhadra. He confirmed that he had experienced going into the future, first his own and then he discovered that he could go forward into the future of any being and told me that some of the same techniques he used to get there, he thought had great implications for the art of prophecy. He led me into his little live in dorm and let me touch the texts that he had written on the subject. For whatever reason, when out of body and uninhibited by normal learning processes, I can absorb information by touching things. I “read” over fifty separate scripts authored by Silabhadra on timelessness and how it relates to time travel. Sometimes visiting old mystics or philosophers does not help you learn because thought has progressed so much beyond their understanding. It feels a bit like reading a grade school paper rather than an epic and cutting edge text. But this was definitely different. I loved the way he described his experiences and the way that he related the experiences to practical implications which could help a student walk the path of the bodhisattva.
Turns out, he grasped the idea of the quantum universe and simultaneous timelines far before our science could. My favorite line was one where he said that “it seems when all things are considered, past present and future, instead of being three abacus beads, are unified into something akin to a single abacus bead - only one.” I was time traveling during some of my most traumatic childhood experiences.
When I went to leave, I got down on my elbows and knees in front of Silabhadra. He looked distressed and expressed that he needed me to wait so he could ask me questions. He wanted to know all kind of things from me, like what the world was like where I came from and whether humans would one day go into space and if his texts would get back to china. I answered his questions for what seemed like a long time. And when I went to get on my knees and elbows as a traditional show of respect, he caught my shoulders in his hands and lifted me up to stare me in the eyes instead. He smelled like reetha, a kind of nut that was crushed and boiled and then used to wash everything at Nalanda from clothing to hair to the walls and floors of the buildings themselves. I withdrew my consciousness and as I was sucked backwards towards my body in what you know as real time, I was curious about whether from Silabhadra’s perspective I had disintegrated into thin air in front of his eyes, or what the experience had looked like from his perspective.
So there you have it. How wonderful it is to be able to go backward in time, to see people who no longer live and yet nonetheless exist. How wonderful it is that consciousness can reach beyond what is now ruins to see an ancient university in its prime. How wonderful it is to experience the triad of time, past present and future as a single abacus bead.