We are at one of those scary points in the timeline of human history where the future is not certain for people. Occasionally the whole world goes into a kind of flux where massive changes happen. There is a social battle between going forward to something totally new and a battle to go back to what was, with fear and reactivity raging on both sides. These are times when the political sphere is so unstable that it is shifting existence for citizens daily, giving them no sense of control over their life experience. Human society functions like much more of a web than most people really understood before. And they find this out the hard way when a crisis in one place on earth, ripples outward causing crisis in their own lives as well. And there is a massive crumbling of all the things that people thought they could rely on. Things that offered them security, stability, confidence, trust and guarantee. And one thing is absolutely pervasive the world over… Uncertainty.  

People do not thrive well in a state of uncertainty. Uncertainty implies that nothing is predictable. And people are wired to need a certain level of predictability. Without this predictability, when you don’t know what is coming next, people slip into chronic stress and anxiety. Interpersonal conflicts increase and maintaining relationships becomes harder. People become frozen in a kind of decision and action paralysis. Many people become hyper controlling, trying to anticipate and prevent every possible negative scenario they can think of, which leads to burnout. And people cope with the distress they feel through a myriad of unhealthy coping mechanisms. 

Because uncertainty is such a tormenting experience for us as people, I am going to reveal to you a question that you can ask yourself in times of extreme uncertainty, which has the power to turn things around for you, as well as some other tips for facing times of extreme uncertainty.

The question that you can ask yourself in times of extreme uncertainty is: What Would I Do, If A Sense of Certainty Would Never Come Back? If going forward, things were always just as uncertain as they are today? 

I know that at face value, this question sounds odd. You would think that the right thing to do would be to find ways to create a sense of certainty, not lean into uncertainty. But let me tell you why this question is so powerful. This question puts us in a place where we must let go of all sense of guarantee regarding the outcomes of what we put our energy into. Why is this so powerful? Because it reveals to us what matters so much to us that we can put energy into it, no matter the outcome. 

This gives us a sense of purpose, meaning and direction in the storm of uncertainty. And this is a wildly stabilizing force. Like having a north star shining for us to navigate through a storm on the open ocean. On top of this, we are no longer playing a game solely for the future. We are playing a deeper game that is far less vulnerable to challenges. 

Asking this question puts us directly in touch with our deepest values. And values are an incredible thing because when we are conscious of them and are living according to them, they make us very, very resilient. Asking this question also reveals something else. What we would vote for with our thoughts, words, decisions, behaviors and actions, regardless of what the outcome is. We vote for the future in this life we are living. We vote for what we want to have be the reality and we vote for what we want to have happen. But in this time space reality, we vote with our thoughts, our words, our decisions and our actions. If you would like to dive deeper on these concepts, you can watch two of my videos. The first titled: The Secret To A Happy Life – Values. And the second titled: Cast your Vote. 

Really spend some time answering this question for yourself, without the influence of anyone else. But, for the sake of your understanding, here are two examples of answers submitted by two people who were kind enough to let me use them. 

1. When I see this question, my first thought is, I can’t rely on the future or place my happiness in some guaranteed future so my power exists much more in the present moment and extracting my desired life experiences from the here and now. I do still want to work towards something. So, I will set more realistic goals that are short term. Like for example, if I want to feel a sense of adventure, I won’t try to plan something out that is very far in advance, like a big trip to Asia. I would be looking at what I can do in the next few days or this week that would give me a sense of adventure. So, my answer to this question would be I would live mostly in each moment. I would make sure that when I am walking on the beach, I am totally there, feeling the sand under my feet, smelling the ocean air, feeling what it feels like emotionally to watch kids laugh and play in the water and build sand castles. Really noticing all the colors of the rocks and seashells. Feeling the warmth of the sun against my skin. 
   I would keep all my options open regarding where to live. I would keep learning Icelandic. I would make all my decisions knowing that things could change at the drop of a hat, so I would be very conscious of what I commit to. I would make sure when I am making decisions however, not to fall into short term thinking. This means, I would put some energy into my retirement plan, but also a backup plan in case that retirement plan falls through. I wouldn’t wait to go on my trip to Mexico until things are more certain with the borders. I would go on my trip next week and fly back in through an airport that is smaller, where the border agents are more relaxed. I would limit the amount of time I am listening to the news and doom scrolling to a certain time of day and a certain amount of time. I would put more energy into giving my dog quality experiences. I read this thing that said your dog may be your best friend for a period of your life, but you are their best friend for their whole life. And I am realizing that it is uncertain how long she will be on this planet. I want her to have good memories and especially good memories with me, where she knows I love her. I’m going to do things to enrich her life experience, rather than just taking her along on things that enrich my life experience.         
   Also, something that is immediately obvious is that what I care the most about is enjoying these moments with other people. I would seek out and create positive shared memories. I’d approach every day with the intention of crafting experiences I can look back on with joy, whether that’s a walk on the beach, a shared laugh, or a meaningful group activity. I would intentionally create those moments, week by week, through things like community meals or spontaneous games. I want to seek out new people too who share that same desire for meaningful, present-moment connection with each other. My life would become about curating and living the kinds of memories I want to remember, not someday—but now. 
2. If a sense of certainty would never come back, I would stop putting my energy, dreams or hopes into the future. It would all be about why am I doing whatever I am doing right now and what is my motivation for doing that? It wouldn't be about the outcome anymore, but it would become about the process. The process is what should be fun, exciting, energizing, motivating and when this is the case, it doesn’t matter as much for me how things end up. When I say this, I don’t mean that I would only do easy, comfortable or enjoyable things from now on. Rather it would mean getting myself to a place where everything I do, feels right for me to be doing, no matter how it goes. What this means is that what matters most to me is that I derive a sense of meaning from everything that I'm doing.
   When I think deeper about this, I can see that I want to explore the world more. Because I don’t care whether exploration turns out good or not. I just love exploring. Also, I would stop dedicating so much of my life to my career because what I really value is time with my wife. It kind of shocks me that I spend so much time doing something that would not even be part of my life review after I die. I need to re-think my life here. Because if I am looking at this, if there were no guarantees regarding my future goals, the life that would make me the happiest, would be to explore new places with my wife. So, I’m going to make it a point to do more of that in a really intentional way. I may even consider changing my job around so that our lives can revolve around doing that together. Knowing her, this would make her so excited to hear this. In fact, until I did this exercise, I was the one who was arguing with her about the importance of future security and who wasn’t willing to make our lives about adventure.

And for the sake of making these times of uncertainty even more livable, here are some additional suggestions. 

1. Make your life as “flexible”, “adaptable” and “fluid” as possible. Knowing what matters most to you is going to act as the north star to direct and stabilize you through this flux experience. But responding to times of great uncertainty calls for you to be adaptable, psychologically flexible and to make your life as flexible as possible. This is a time to really have an open mind. It’s a time to diversify. This is a time to organize your life so you are able to make very fast decisions and make very fast changes. This is a time for multiple back up plans for every plan.           
2. Grace the vulnerable feelings that come with this uncertainty with your unconditional, focused presence. Uncertainty causes us to feel a flurry of emotions and sensations, usually in the range of anxiety, terror, tension, doom, powerlessness, loss of control disgust, hopelessness, helplessness, depression, frustration, anger, rage, confusion and grief. We usually try desperately to distract ourselves from them and to get out of and away from them. But we need to take the opposite approach. We need to let the emotions ‘sound’ through our entire body. And allow the information contained within those emotions to surface to our conscious awareness. This will make you far less reactive to the uncertainty, and far more conscious. Because of this, you are far more likely to make the right decision and take the right actions. You can do this through meditation. I have a good meditative process I can highly recommend for this. It is called The Emotional Experiencing Process. You can learn how to do this process in my video titled: How To Do The Emotional Experiencing Process. 
3. Make the following conscious: What I Can Control and What I Can’t Control. When things are uncertain, we tend to try to control everything so we can try to avoid pain. But we are in a situation where there is a lot that is not within our control. Ironically, because this poses the biggest threat, this is where we put the vast majority of our focus and time and energy. And as a result, we end up in terror and being very disempowered. We’ve got to see the doors that are closed in order to see the ones that are open. So, you need to take the situation that is causing you uncertainty and clearly define what you can control and what you can’t control. Literally make a list. With the stuff you can’t control, you need to set it aside. Let go of it until the day that something you can control and do about it becomes obvious to you. With the stuff that you can control, put your energy and time and actions there. Follow through on those things.
4. Keep Coming Back To This Thought: “Whatever is happening might supposed to be happening, can I remain open to seeing why?”. When we are being thrown into a situation where it feels like we are headed towards a future that is unwanted, we immediately feel like it shouldn’t be happening. This puts us in resistance to what is happening. Rather than leaning into what is happening, so we can really work with what is happening effectively, this just puts us in a war with what is. This question does the opposite. It helps us to lean into uncertainty with an attitude of openness and curiosity towards what we don’t yet know or see. Even if you are a scientist at heart and not spiritual at all, you can at least acknowledge that you cannot know 100% if what is happening is supposed to be happening or not. So, you must remain open to the possibility that what is happening is supposed to be happening. There were plenty of things that we do not understand the bigger purpose of because that bigger purpose is revealed only in time. 
   There is a great story of a Chinese farmer which reveals this truth. In this story, a farmer's horse runs away. His neighbors express sympathy, after all, this is a terrible thing that shouldn’t have happened but the farmer replies, "Maybe so, maybe not. We'll see." The next day, the horse returns, bringing several wild horses with it. The neighbors are now excited. They feel this is a wonderful thing that should have happened. After all, it is well deserved given that he deserves some good luck after the pain of losing his horse. But the farmer says, "Maybe so, maybe not. We'll see." Later, the farmer's son, while trying to tame one of the wild horses, is thrown off and breaks his leg. The neighbors are concerned, they see it as something that shouldn’t have happened. Something unfair. After all, he is too old to work his fields alone. But the farmer again responds, "Maybe so, maybe not. We'll see." Finally, soldiers arrive to conscript young men into the army, but they spare the son due to his injury. The neighbors are relieved, they suddenly see the son breaking his leg as divine intervention. Again, the farmer simply states, "Maybe so, maybe not. We'll see." The story is written to emphasize that it's impossible to know the true nature of an event at the moment it happens. Nor is it possible to know whether it will lead somewhere good or bad or both. What seems like bad luck might eventually lead to a positive outcome, and what seems like good luck could have unforeseen negative consequences. The takeaway is that becoming overly attached to wanted or unwanted outcomes, is not an effective approach to life. That embracing the uncertainty is a better approach. 
   Let go of your need for things to be a certain way. When we know what we want and we know what we don’t want, we tend to become very attached to the way we think things have to be and have to happen. But this world is littered with stories where the thing that someone wanted and needed most, came to them in the most unexpected way. Including through the very experience they thought would take them further away from what they want.    
   Become curious about where this life is going to take you. If our life journey were a trip down a river, you will notice that like most of us, you probably spend your life trying to control the current of the river. You do not consciously know where the river will take you. You only know where you would prefer for it to take you. But in order to embrace uncertainty, let go of the idea that you can control the river itself and be curious about where the river of your life is leading you.   
5. Realize that we do not fear the unknown. And discover what it is that you actually fear. The saying, “I fear the unknown.” is a popular scapegoat in times of uncertainty. No one actually fears the unknown because one would not know what to fear. We only begin to fear what we do not know when we think that we DO in fact know what bad thing the unknown could contain. For example, I may say that I fear the unknown when I’m talking about changing my job. But the truth is in fact that I’m afraid that there is a potential that I might like my new job even less than my current one. If this is the case, what I am really afraid of is being stuck with a job I don’t like. So, ask yourself: What painful or scary thing is it that you are afraid the unknown contains? Face those fears directly. Control what you can control regarding those fears and put some energy into finding ways to decrease your fear of those things that you fear. 
6. Seek out healthy stress reducers. Uncertainty sends us into fight of flight mode that never ends. The body cannot sustain this. It wasn’t designed for chronic distress. You need to allow your nervous system the things that help it to come back into a state of ease. This includes eating a diet that calms the nervous system instead of stimulates it. It may be tempting to eat junk foods because you find them comforting. But those foods are only adding pressure to a body that is already under pressure. Remember that the things that reduce your stress may be different from what reduces someone else’s stress, so look to design your perfect cocktail of stress reduction assisters. Here is a list of some ideas to start with. Go for a walk barefoot somewhere in nature, exercise, write, take a hot bath with Epsom salts, watch cute or funny video clips, get a massage, do progressive relaxation techniques, take a yoga class, listen to a guided meditation, swim in the ocean, dance, create a bed time routine that helps you to wind down, make gratitude lists or list of positives, listen to stress reducing music, cook, spend time with animals, drink tea, attend a social activity, pick up a new hobby, break down big tasks into small manageable steps, make lists, watch a movie etc. 
7. Consciously spend time each day in the present moment. Pretty much everyone will tell you to focus on the present when you are afraid of the future. This is not easy to do and even seems stupid when it seems like a threat is on the horizon, charging right for you. The way around this, is to realize that you are not being asked to just stay in the present moment all the time. You can dedicate time and energy to the things you can control that decrease your fears regarding the future. At the same time, uncertainty has a way of robbing you of your life. It causes you to start living your life in the future, most especially in the possible worst-case scenarios in the future. This, causes life in the here and now to pass you by. It also tells your brain and body that something bad IS happening. By consciously spending time during your day only in the present moment, your brain realizes that nothing bad is happening in the here and now. And it starts to take in the full experience of whatever is happening in the here and now. The key here is that wherever you are, no matter what you are doing (for example, sitting on a couch at home or doing a hobby of yours or spending time with friends or family or while you are driving), give all of your attention to it, being fully present, experiencing what is occurring through every one of your senses. When your mind wanders, just bring it back to what is happening right here and right now. If you want to learn a great exercise which will help you to do this, you can watch my video titled: Teal’s Favorite Exercise for Getting Into The Present Moment. 
8. Seek Support and Connect. Times of serious uncertainty put pressure on social connections and cause many people to isolate. But the reality is that what is needed is the opposite. Stress is greatly amplified if we are isolated with no help. Uncertainty is so, so much more tolerable if we have someone to go through the uncertainty with us and help us with the things we need help with. This means go to and seek out those people who you can trust and who you can share your thoughts and feelings with. Expand your social network. Connect both with people who are going through the same struggles as you are, as well as with people who seem to have mastered what you are currently struggling with. Brainstorm with people. Move closer to the people and places that offer you the most support. Seek out advice. Find professionals who can help you with whatever you are facing. Get help with practical things. Ask for help and accept it, no matter whether that help is with small things or big things. Think of it like this, on the river of life, which is taking you somewhere uncertain, how much different would your experience be if your raft was hitched to someone else’s raft and you were floating down that river together? Social connection and support can provide something solid when nothing else is solid.  

Life is like a journey into uncharted waters for us all. You are not alone in this respect. So don’t ever let your pain convince you that you are alone in the uncertainty of your life. Let’s all see what this ride down the river has in store for each one of us, and for us all.