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  • The Answer You've Been Looking For


    All of your spiritual practice up to now has led you here. In fact, all else is in fact just a preparation for this one thing. Spiritual practices and principals are designed to wake you up from the dream of time and physicality a little bit more and a little bit more until you are really ready to fully wake up from the dream called life; until you are ready to wake up to your true state of being. Most people are not ready for a true state of being. That is why this answer does not show up in their reality. And it is why even when it does, most people do not take the next step and apply it to their lives consistently. What I am about to share with you is the true Holy Grail. It is the answer, which all of your questions have been leading to. I cannot tell you the answer with my voice. But I can tell you exactly where this answer is hidden. I cannot tell you the answer with my words because this answer cannot be conveyed through mental concepts. It can only be told to you organically as an experience. I can lead you to the door. You have to be the one to walk through it. It will feel like you are walking through this door alone. But on the other side of this door, you will see that it is not possible to have ever been alone and so all you really did, was walk head first through an illusion.

    What does it feel like to walk through an illusion you ask? It feels like all unnecessary aspects of your being are scraped and burnt off in a violent furnace. It feels like walking straight into the eye of the storm. This process is not something that you do. Rather, it is something that you undo. We have one spiritual truth to lead us through this process of undoing and that is: The way out is in. The way out of our negative emotions is into our negative emotions. The way out of our illusions is into our illusions. The way out of our suffering is into our suffering. We spend our lives in a state of resistance. This is why we suffer so much. We resist what is, with a fervor that guarantees that we will not ever really live. We resist the thoughts we think, we resist the feelings that we feel and by doing so, we resist our own spirit. We are at war with ourselves. We resist ourselves even with processes that we think are good for us. In the beginning of our practice, coming out of the sheer powerlessness that has us all in this state of sleep, we wake up a little bit by realizing that we have the capacity to help ourselves to feel better. We feel as if we have been set free. Our entire spiritual practice is designed to help us feel better and think better. And there is nothing wrong with this. In fact, it just may be a crucial first step. We fall in love with manifestation. We chase what we want; we chase our bliss. And by doing so, we allow ourselves to come into alignment more and more. We want to heal ourselves because we know that something about us is in need of fixing. And for the very first time, we feel capable of doing that. The Spiritual Apex we pursue is still this external thing called enlightenment. Enlightenment is an idea that appeals to our minds when we live in linear time.

    And then something astounding happens. We are confronted with the fact that the very thing that liberated us is now the thing that holds us prisoner. We realize that in wanting to feel better or think better… We are asking ourselves to feel and think and be different. We discover that by trying to feel better or think better, or be better, we are resisting ourselves. And then, the whole game changes. We leave behind the desire for manifestation. We replace all wants for the want for oneness with ourselves. We stop wanting to heal because it no longer feels good to think that something about ourselves is broken. Instead, we begin to crave integration. The spiritual apex we begin to pursue is authenticity.

    Authenticity is an idea that appeals to us when we begin to live in the present moment. We fall in love with what is. We realize that the reason we have wanted what we have wanted is because we are fractured. We are walking around with open wounds that have never healed. The criticizing and ostracizing we experienced has made us want fame. The abandonment has made us want companionship, the conditional nature of the way we were loved, has made us want unconditional love. And we have chased those things and maybe even attained those things externally, but the feelings never changed. And so, we trade the practice of going in the direction of what we want and chasing our positive emotions for the practice of going the opposite direction. And we begin by dropping into our wounds. We spend our time being with those unpleasant emotions and sensations and feelings and memories with a listening and caring ear. We are present with ourselves with absolutely no conditions. We do not want to change the way we feel. We do not want to make the negative sensations and feelings better. We simply give them the attention that we never gave them before, back when we were so busy running from them with numbing drugs and distraction and endless self help techniques. We stop arguing against them. We become present fully with them and by doing so, these aspects integrate into our being. We learn that the reason we suffer so badly from anything, is not because of the thing itself, but because of our resistance to it. We learn that when we no longer resist any aspect of our being, when we let ourselves fully feel our feelings and fully think our thoughts, and thus we let ourselves fully be ourselves in this very moment. As a result, we become whole. If we resist any part of our experience, we are not whole. We become whole and complete in this moment and the whole of the universe joins us in this moment. The illusion of separation is torn down. This is the real reason that the Buddha experienced what he did beneath the Bodhi tree. He stopped resisting himself completely. He did not try to change anything about the experience. He did not try to feel better. Instead, he was fully present with himself.

    This path is not for the faint of heart. This path is the path of feeling what you never let yourself feel. And this path is for the brave, because this path cannot be walked for you. You must walk into the storm of your own being for yourself. This is the art of allowing 2.0. The answer you have been looking for will be revealed to you like this: Stop trying to feel better or trying to get what you think you want. Do nothing to change your thoughts. Do nothing to change the way you feel. Instead, when you think a negative thought, let your focus rest up that thought. Watch that thought roll into another similar thought and another. Bring the presence of your being there with it. Be with that thought without trying to manipulate it in any way. When you feel an unpleasant or even excruciating feeling, whether that feeling be physical or emotional, while breathing continuously with no unnecessary pauses between the in breath and the outbreath, drop into that feeling and be with that feeling completely. Do not run away from it. Do not try to change it. Do nothing to make yourself feel better. Instead, be with that feeling completely. Explore it. Breathe this feeling into your being. It is in and of you. It is your current truth. Be with yourself exactly how you are with no conditions. It’s what you’ve been asking for from others all of your life. The day you betrayed yourself completely, was the day that you decided you would only be with yourself based on the condition that you felt good. So you have been trying to feel good all your life, so you could be with yourself and feel whole again, without realizing that you could just decide to be with yourself here and now, regardless of how you feel. You do not need to go looking for insight so you can understand the way you feel. You do not need to go looking for wisdom so you can understand life itself or the universe at large. Insight and wisdom is the automatic byproduct of being fully present with ourselves. Feel free to ask questions of yourself, and allow your being to offer you the answer without you mentally searching for it. The capacity to understand is all too often, the byproduct of resistance to the confusion that we feel. When you stop running from yourself, (which is what you never knew that you were doing), you will see things as they really are.

    We have not been willing to feel life. In fact, we use the present moment to try to distract us from the way we feel! We try to focus on our physical surroundings right here and now, to distract us from the fact that we feel badly. This is a trapping of the ego. It is an escape from presence disguised as presence. True presence, is a presence that embraces the fire and thus, cannot be burnt by flame.

    These thoughts and emotions, like dying children, are begging to be mothered and fathered. They are begging to be heard and sat with. They, like you as a child, do not want to hear that they shouldn’t be the way they are. They don’t want to be changed. They want to be given permission to be the way they are. They want to be loved exactly as they are. And we love them by being willing to think and feel them. This is the key to finding the answer you have been looking for.