I am asked often to share my opinion about mass shootings directed at peer groups. I want to begin by saying that there are victims on both sides of the gun. This is always the story without exception. We must cultivate understanding for the internal hell that causes such a person to behave in such a way. Without this understanding, we cannot alter the causation of such events; we will simply go on tinkering with effects. Without proper understanding of causation, we will simply increase our gun laws and can crack down on threats. This will change nothing. The real change must happen at a much deeper level. The way we raise our children must change and the world we are bringing them into must change. These “mass shooters” have specific elements in common. They are intellectual outcasts. They are involved in violent media (like movies or cartoons or video games) as a way to both escape and express the suppressed rage that is covering their deeply suppressed grief at being rejected. The question is, rejected by whom?
These shooters will often explain who they want to kill and why. But they are doing so from a place within them that is unconscious of who they really want to kill and why. The target of their rage is in fact only a reflection of a deeper wound within them, their relationship with their primary caregivers. Our relationship with “people” and with “the world” is nothing more than a reflection of our relationship with our primary caregivers. All of us are children who never grew up. We are all un-integrated children. These mass shooters are in fact reacting against the pain of the rejection they felt from one or more of their primary caregivers. They did not get the affection or attention they needed. Because of this, they lack two of the most primary human needs, loving connection and significance. This painful emotion within them was invalidated and they could do nothing about it and so it was covered over with rage and it was suppressed. They spent the rest of their lives (especially from the onset of external orientation at puberty) trying to gain approval from other people. The mind does this to try to gain closure and resolution for the old wound. The subconscious motivation goes something like this: “If I can get a girl to love me then mom loves me. If I can be significant to a girl, I am significant to mom”, If I can get a girl to pay attention to me than mom pays attention to me etc.” But the buried emotional pain is what needs healing. That pain needs to be allowed and fully felt, like it wasn’t when they were a child.
And so, the universe continues to match the vibration of the pain in hopes that they will one day integrate it. In their reality, this takes the shape of continuing to be cast out by the peer group. They copes the same way they coped as a child. They indulges in the “cover emotion” of rage and revenge. They become preoccupied with violent video games and movies and fantasies because we all know it feels a lot better than the time stopping grief of rejection. Each time they engage in this cycle of suppressing the pain and grief, the pain and grief gets bigger and louder and they get rejected a little bit more until they find themselves at a crossroads of no return. They have only one option, to reject what rejected them. The “void” look you see in the eyes of these mass shooters is the look of realization that they will never get the loving connection they need. Their connection with love is severed. Their connection with the human race is therefore severed. Because love is the closest vibration to source energy itself (otherwise known as the soul), when they reach that point where they give up the search for affection and submit to their disconnection with love, they now hold a vibration that is so vibrationally different than source itself, they appear soul-less. Instead of the presence of source consciousness that we are used to seeing in the eyes, we see void. Because one cannot remain disconnected like this from their own soul and remain alive, they now become a match to death themselves. But they still need significance. And it occurs to them that the way to get this significance (if they can’t get it through being loved) is through being feared. The best way to become significant to someone if you can’t become the object of their affection is to take their life. The best way to become significant to the world if the world wont love you is to make the world fear you. The ego (identity is being threatened and so it becomes preoccupied with the feeling of superiority that occurs when you are capable of controlling a person and the world to such a degree. The ego (identity) is sick and tired of how insignificant and inferior it feels because of the painful relationship (or lack thereof) with it’s primary caregiver(s). Because the ego (identity) sees the world vertically, it sees only inferior and superior. It seeks to escape inferiority by becoming superior and having power over others. The rage that is the result of this suppressed pain mixed with the loss of hope for love mixed with the drive for significance (to be noticed) mixed with the relief that is felt when one seeks revenge, mixed with that relief being provided by violent media, leads to a definitive decision… To kill the reflection of that suppressed pain. In most cases, an offending peer group. By doing so, they are in fact killing their primary caregiver and/or anyone else in their family that got the attention that they did not get. And in fact, some mass shooters do kill the parent that they felt rejected by as a part of their killing spree, though they are not consciously aware of why. These events are not isolated. They are happening more and more often. These events are not even surprising. In a society like the one we have today, our collective suppression of awareness will result in outbursts like this. Consider these incidents eruptions at the weakest point. And until we understand human emotion fully, we will still be telling the lie that some people are just born this way. The question we should all be asking is, how do we structure our society so that all children have access to their primary emotional needs, especially love, connection and significance regardless of what their parents do or don’t do?