Some of us are fortunate to have had the experience of a good feeling life. Others of us have had more painful experiences in our lives than we have had good feeling experiences. As a result, we have a limited experience with positive feeling states. When this is the case, it is difficult for us to feel positive feeling states because they seem alien to us. We know we want them, but we don’t know how to create them for ourselves. Here’s an example, if we have had the experience of feeling unsafe as children, chances are that we are so acclimatized to the feeling of danger that we don’t know what safe even feels like. Or if we have been disappointed over and over, we may settle into a feeling state of pessimism to the degree that we do not know what optimism or joy feels like. When people tell us to do what makes us feel safe or to do what makes us feel joy, we find ourselves confused. Everyone else seems to think it is so easy, but we feel like we’ve just been told to solve one of Einstein’s equations without a single science or math class under our belt. The problem is that we keep trying to work with what we don’t have instead of what we do have.
We have to drop the idea that we have to know what the thing we want to feel actually feels like in order to feel it. We don’t have to know what happiness or love or optimism or safety actually feels like in order to get to the point that we feel it. Instead, we need to find the feeling of the experience that we think might be the closest to that thing we want to feel. And we need to consider all feeling states that we currently know, whether they be physical or emotional or both.
Every little feeling is unique, like a signature. The way it feels for you to be kissed by someone you have a crush on feels a very specific way in your body physically and emotionally. And it feels differently to be kissed by someone you have a crush on than it does to be hugged by a friend as they are saying goodbye. These individual feelings, though we may give them names, are ultimately something we feel. We know and remember them by how they uniquely feel inside our body. I call these feeling states, feeling signatures. Right now I want you to close your eyes and imagine eating a lemon in as much detail as possible. What just happened to your body? You probably felt that reaction to sourness in the back of your jaw, like a sharp cramp. You probably started salivating a bit. Your body reacts as if you are really eating the lemon. But open your eyes. You aren’t eating a lemon. You experienced the feeling signature of eating a lemon. That means your body does not know the difference between what you are thinking about and what is really happening. And we can use that exact mechanism to our advantage.
Here’s an example, when I escaped at nineteen after years of torture, I had no example of what safe felt like. When people asked me “what makes you feel safe”, honestly I felt confused and a bit ashamed because people expected that I should know what safety felt like and I didn’t. Because I didn’t know what safe felt like, I asked myself what I imagined it might feel like. I figured that if I ventured a guess, safety would feel somewhat cozy. So I thought to myself. “I don’t know what safe feels like, but what feels the most cozy of anything I’ve ever felt before?” When I looked back through the years and through all of the feeling signatures that I had experienced up to that point, I discovered that I felt the most cozy when I was sitting down in front of a steaming warm bowl of creamy, thick soup. When I closed my eyes, I could imagine that feeling of coziness. That feeling had it’s own feeling flavor; it’s own feeling signature. It was a sensation in my body that made me feel like everything was ok. And so, I focused on taking that feeling and spreading it throughout my whole body. I discovered that I could create that feeling of being filled with the feeling of warm cozy soup no matter where I was or what I was doing. That feeling became my resource for feeling safe. From then on, if I felt unsafe because I was triggered, I would imagine that feeling of soup and I would spread it throughout my entire body and out into my auric field as if it was not only in me, but also around me like a cocoon.
Two years go I was working via correspondence with a man who was in prison and had been for almost ten years. He wanted to feel free, but he had no idea what freedom felt like. When I asked him to venture a guess at what freedom might feel like, or when he thinks he felt the closest to freedom ever, he told me it was when he was riding his motorbike across the country. When I asked him to imagine that feeling as if he was doing that right now, he could feel that feeling of expansiveness and being without burden and the feeling of being untouchable and invincible in his body. He had found the feeling signature. I told him to spread that feeling (as if that feeling itself was a substance) through his whole body and out so that it surrounded him. For him, that feeling was his resource for feeling free. Even though he was not currently on a motorbike, he was in a jail, when he imagined that feeling, his body did not know the difference between where he actually was and where his mind was telling him that he was. It responded accordingly. From then on, any time he felt powerless to a security guard or another inmate and any time he felt stuck and imprisoned, he would conjure up that feeling of being on his motorbike and spread it through his whole body. Because of this, he was less combative and ended up getting his sentence reduced significantly. Long story short, we need to work with the resources we do have and the experiences we do have when we are trying to experience a feeling state that we have no experience with. I want to mention though that we do not have to have directly experienced things exactly in order to use the feeling state of it. For example, I may never have pet a unicorn in real 3-d life, but imagining the feeling of doing that may be the closest reference that I have to joy. I may not have ever been floating through space, but imagining floating through space, might be the closest feeling to being stress free for me. So we can use feeling states that we have actually experienced in our 3-d life, or things we have experienced the feeling of imagining in our 3-d life. Your imagination is literally the limit because there is no way to do this wrong. Now as it applies to your own life, think about the feeling state that you want to have. Maybe it’s love or abundance or friendship or self esteem.
What do you imagine that feeling state you want to experience might feel like?
When do you remember feeling the closest to that feeling? What experience or circumstance do you imagine might feel the closest to that feeling?
Imagine that experience or circumstance in as much detail as you possibly can. Make it real to yourself as if you were experiencing it right now. When you feel the sensation of that specific feeling signature, imagine spreading it through your entire body and out into your aura so that it is not only inside you but also around you like a cocoon. Spend as much time there as you need. Eventually you will not need to close your eyes to perform this exercise. Realize that you can call on this feeling experience at any time by imagining it. Just like a medicine you can use it any time you feel the need for it. Another perk to using this exercise is that in a universe that essentially functions as a mirror hologram, when you focus on those feeling states that feel the closest to what you want to experience, you are a match to them being mirrored in your reality. In other words, the more I imagine the coziness of soup with the desire to experience safety, the more experiences that mirror and reflect and match the vibration of coziness come to me and thus, the safer I feel and the safer I feel, the more experiences that feel like safety happen to me and then I will know what safety really is and really feels like.
You may not know what friendship feels like, but you may know the feeling of having a cat curl up on your lap. You may not know what trust feels like, but you may know what it feels like to imagine being held by Jesus and to know that he will always have your best interest at heart. You may not know what joy feels like, but you may know what it feels like to lay in the grass at sunset, listening to the crickets. You may not know what confidence feels like, but you may know what it feels like to get to experience a victory on your favorite video game. It is an empowering thing to realize that you are not at the mercy of the way you currently feel. It is empowering to realize that you do not have to know what something like happiness feels like, to get to the place where you feel happiness. You can work with what you do know instead of what you don’t know to feel the way you want to feel in this life.