• The Mental Health System, The Land of No Return

    Walking In The City

    ALONG THE VOID WITH GRISLY VOICES,

    AND FLICKERING LIGHTS.

    LET THE RAZOR SPEAK…

    ON YOUR WRISTS THIS TIME…

    LET THEM WEEP

    WHERE YOU HOWL TO BE FREE OF THEM.

    FREE OF HOW THEY HOLD YOU UP AND BEND NOT BREAK UNDER THE WEIGHT OF IT.

    DO YOU SUFFER MY STAIN?

    YOU HAVE NOT FATHERED ME LIFE…

    YOU HAVE NOT MOTHERED ME LIFE…

    YOU HAVE STOOD AND WATCHED THESE CRIMES AGAINST ME WITH AN OCEAN OF INDIFFERENT STARS.

    AND HIDDEN ME UNDER INK BLACK NIGHT SO CARS WOULD PASS ME, BABBLING OF DESTINATIONS, UNWILLING TO WAIT.

    THAT TORTURE THOUGH HACKED AND ILL HUMORED…

    IT WAS MINE.

    UNLIKE THIS NORMALCY I SEEK NOW.

    THE SALT, SUCKED SINS (I ASSUMED TO BE PAST TIMES) THROUGH TEARS IN ONE STROKE AND DRIED THEM SO THEY WOULDN’T COME.

    AND COMPOSURE,

    THE BEGGER,

    OF

    TIDES TO STOP COMMING, BUT THEY CAN’T…

    PEACE TO RAIN, BUT IT WONT…

    PEOPLE TO SEE, BUT THEY DON’T

    SO, IN QUICK CRUEL LIGHT,

    WHAT LINES SHALL I TRACE, WITH BLOOD?

    WHAT BLOOD SHOULD I LET, WITH STEEL?

    UN CARVED SKIN,

    LIKE THE THICKEST OF FROSTS,

    BEGS TO BE CLEAVED…

    LEST IT REVEAL A MAIDEN…

    OR A BEAST

     

    Psychiatric-Ward.jpg.cd265d30355684052e2dbd13ca213081.jpgWhenever I visit people in psych wards, I can feel the echo of my own suffering.  I hear the words that used to reverberate inside of me years ago.  Words like those that I wrote at age 17 (above) when all that life consisted of was pain.  I am leveled by the horror of how we greet this pain in people. 

    The mainstream mental health system in the western world is a system that has blood on its hands.  Like all institutions that were proven to be archaic before its time, it must eventually own up to the amount of pain it has caused the world.  It is tempting to think that we have come so far from the days where strong emotion was met with lobotomy.  But we have not come so far from that.  We simply lobotomize people with medication now.  Before I go into what I am about to go into, I will say that there are some unsung heroes in the business of mental health care.  They care in a business where their bravery and caring is an assault on “the way things are done”.  I do not doubt their motives, nor minimize the good that they have done.  I do not mean to demonize the totality of individuals who work for this system.  But I must tell you that if the average person is feeling bad, I would tell them to stay as far away from the main stream mental health care system as they possibly can.  It is a system that has claimed the life of millions all in the name of trying to ‘help’.

    When you are admitted to a hospital due to suicide, they treat you like you have murdered someone.  You have more free will in jail than you have in a psych ward.  Psych wards are the modern day holocaust camps.  Instead of trying to help, people are treated like criminals.  They spend their days there punished for the crime of suffering so much that they wanted to die.

    Every single time I have visited a psych ward, I have run into people who have been admitted for some form of self abuse and whom admit to having conscious awareness of abuse in their personal histories, many of them teenagers.  This is the world we live in… a world where abuse drives a teenager into an institution where their PTSD symptoms are dealt with by strapping them down to a bed and shoving needles in their veins.  Any of you who understand somatic therapy are probably writhing in your seats reading about this form of ‘treatment”.

    The only way to justify abuse is to think you deserve it in some way.  How do people justify abuse at the hands of mental health professionals?  By becoming convinced that they are mentally ill.  I’m not going to argue that there are a very small number of cases (exceptions) for whom mental illness is a reality.  But I will tell you that after 23 years of being immersed in this world of mental health from both sides of the fence, most people who have been diagnosed with mental illness are not mentally ill at all.  Instead, they feel in a world that does not allow feeling.  At the heart of most every mental health diagnosis is one symptom… FEELING TOO MUCH OF AN EMOTION.

    It is a travesty when feeling is the enemy of the very business that is designed to care take people’s feelings.  So what if it is ok to feel?  What if it isn’t wrong to feel furious or depressed or anxious or even suicidal?  What if you feel that way for a valid reason?  What if feeling that way doesn’t mean something is wrong with you, but instead that something happened or is happening to you to lead you to feeling that way?  Then it means you aren’t mentally ill.  It means the way you have been treated was not fair.  It means that the way you are was an adaptation, not an illness.  It means you really didn’t deserve to be treated like you were treated. 

    psych w.jpgAnd lets pretend that someone is actually legitimately mentally ill… What good did it ever do to tell someone that?  What good did it ever do to tell someone that something about themselves was not acceptable the way it is and has to change?  When a person walks into a standard mental health clinic and says they are not feeling good; no one thinks to say, “That’s ok; you probably have really good reason to feel that way let’s figure out why and what we can do about it”.  Instead, they start by saying “Uh- oh, something must be really wrong with you because it’s not ok to feel that way.”  This seemingly benign and standard way of approaching mental illness puts the ‘patient’ at war with himself.  He will start to relate to himself as crazy.  It ensures that now he will see himself as living with an enemy inside his own skin.  He will distrust himself.  The chances of him “getting better” with this terrified relationship to himself is now very, very small.  We tell him, the way to stay safe from this ‘defective’ side of himself is to medicate.  So we medicate him.  We medicate him with drugs that he will most likely be dependent on for the rest of his life.  And the pharmaceutical companies want this.  They want him sick… so their CEOs can pay the bills for their mansions and for their private jets.  And this is if the medication does actually (genuinely or through placebo effect) make him feel better.

    pills.jpgThe reality is no one knows enough about these medications.  No one knows enough about the brain.  No one knows enough about any aspect of this business to be able to say exactly what these medications will and won’t do.  Psych meds can make a person worse instead of better so the entire business of psychiatric medication from the creation of the drugs to the testing of the drugs to the administering of the drugs is based on trial and error.  People lose their lives every day because of this willingness to take risks that should never be taken.  And what’s worse is we are taking those risks with children now.  We are medicating the brains of children whose minds have not even developed yet.  And you know what?  No one knows how it will turn out.  We are dolling out incredibly dangerous psych meds like candy for every single emotional and mental complaint.  And what people in this field will not be honest with you about is that if you subject yourself to these drugs, you are essentially subjecting yourself to a human experiment.  An experiment you may just regret for the rest of your life.  That being said, I believe in freedom.  If people are desperate, they should absolutely be allowed to take these kinds of risks.  But they should be well informed about just what an experiment it is before deciding to take a risk.     

    People in this industry love to hide behind what they are taught in medical school or psychology courses in college.  They do so under the belief that the information shared there is the “best info we have yet”.  Which is complete fallacy.  First of all, if you follow the “money trail” for who is funding the studies that then get converted into standard training for new students, you will want to throw it out the nearest window.  But the reality is SO many alternative techniques exist for so called ‘mental illnesses’ all over the world.  So many different approaches and methodologies that actually do work that it is criminal as a mental health professional to not seriously and sincerely explore them.

    psych.jpgSo many people who have simply been hurt and who simply do not fit into a box of “how you’re supposed to be” are lost to this system.  We are slowly killing our revolutionaries, our geniuses, our philosophers, our change makers, our future leaders, our empaths, our artists.  The very people who have come here to make this world great and to change it into something better are being turned against themselves before they can mature enough to grace this world with their gifts.  We will all suffer because of it.

    I do not really care whether or not this message (or exposing my stance on main stream mental healthcare) is met with resistance.  I will be campaigning for alternative methods to mental health care for the rest of my life.  I will be campaigning for a society that makes it ok to feel.  Today, the mental health system is a system of no return.  Like being pulled out to sea in a rip tide.  By getting into it, you will be lucky to find shore again.  So many people lose years of their lives finding this out the hard way.

    A funny thing happens the minute people get out of the mainstream mental health system… They start getting better.  They learn how to stop fearing themselves.  I am now in a position of teaching open-minded psychiatrists and psychologists a different way to deal with these conditions.  Every time I shake hands with these therapists who are brave enough to think outside the box when the box so obviously isn’t working, I feel like the world is one step closer to being a world that does not have to be coped with.  I feel like we are one step closer to creating a kind of world where pain is not the perpetual human condition.

    download.jpegToday, I have a message for anyone in the mental health field.  If you remember nothing else that I say, remember this:  The worst thing you could ever do to someone from a position of authority is to turn them against themselves.  The worst thing you could do is to make them believe that it is wrong to feel how they feel and so something must be wrong with them.  It is not malice that makes ‘therapists’ do this.  It is ignorance.  But it is ignorance that must end.  And I will dedicate myself to ending that ignorance for as long as I draw breath. 

    IN TODAY’S WORLD, A WAR HAS BEEN DECLARED AGAINST FEELING.  TODAY, AND FOR AS LONG AS IT TAKES TO WIN THIS WAR, I ASK YOU STAND WITH ME ON THE SIDE OF FEELING.

    broke.png


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    Thank you!

     I have several family members who are lable with Bi- polar.  Some days they seems so close the what I call the veil, and so gifted. But they are so drugged up with medication, that they are not them self.  

     

    I wish I knew more to help them. 

    Brenda

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    This is very moving. 

    I was medicated for anxiety at the age of 8 or 9. I had no say. It wasn't okay to be as sensitive as I was.  I think I was cheated In a way. From there it was years of medication changes and rat testing on a small 90's child. As an adult I've had to parent a lot of things inside. I'd like to know how I can feel safer. Mania feels like a lion is constantly chasing me. In high danger 24/7. I'm happy there is a lot more dialogue about mental illness. It is very important key to help stop suffering. I will write a book on it.✊🏻

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    My father was there. I remember visiting him, and what the drugs did to him in the few times he came home. He finally committed suicide. I'm convinced that most of the people in mental institutions are there because they showed their spiritual talents to the wrong people at the wrong times. Very good thing that things are a little different now or I might well have ended up there too. Instead I've made a big difference for the world in the area of technology, and continue to do so as I link that with Spirituality. I am incredibly impressed with the soul that goes by the name Teal, who managed to heal herself despite the system, and now teaches this healing to others even as she reveals her authentic self.

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    I STAND ON THE SIDE OF FEELING

    Wow, thank you so much for flawlessly verbalizing everything I've wanted to say in regards to this subject. A person in my family has been given the bi polar and mental illness label, and, I don't buy it.  The medication just makes things weird, and the label seems like an excuse to continue behaving in ways that no longer serve anyone.  My contribution is rarely received in a the way I intend it to, that it is an interesting and difficult time to come in, that this world is hard on sensitive spirits, that it's a good thing to not be like the rest!  And I'm simply not allowed to bring up anything in regards to feeling better though diet and nutrition or else the hammer comes down.  This person is young and beautiful and talented and sensitive, and now believes and accepts and embraces this label to the degree that their perspective on it is completely rigid.  It is difficult and I feel powerless to the institution in this relationship, but your post inspires me to stand my ground.

    p.s. Nice cadence on your poem, and at age 17, deep...

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    Man, I love the dark poem at the beginning. I understand that your style of poetry has changed since then, but it's still really good!

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    Wow, thank you Teal! I think it is very important to many of us so called "mental ill" so see and hear those words written above. The war on oneself must stop. Thank you for pointing that out constantly. <3

     

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     I'm totally resonate with that ,  I read the post in a middle of the night and couldn't sleep. Long time ago after parents divorced I tasted my self the pills and touched the grids on the windows, later I've tried to suicide by taking all rest of these pills, and I saw already Light in the end of Tunnel but some wall shuts my way and I wake up in a hospital again, they treated more serious by Insulin Shock Therapy.. after several weeks powerless I was looking at my green yellow violate stains on my arms from countless needless  and thinking  Who I'm? Why I'm here? What wrong I made...

     

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    During the Sunday dinner on the top-deck doctor Ph.Ill was asked by the chief officer Mr. Calling-Backsoon whether he was close to paranoid when sometimes feeling the ship was chased by storms, and that he had hired the famous Hardway windcalmer Mr Lesser Airkonn-Dissions to avoid cancelling the weekend concert with the upcoming duo Swifter Umbrella, but the doctor calmed him by explaining that 1 out of 3 paranoid patients he knew in fact were chased , and many rainmakers were followed by skies, also during their spare-time ...

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    This is exactly why some of us are delving into the neuropsychology, neurobiology, and neurochemistry of how the mind and body work, so we can have better control of our emotions and evolve as a species.  We are making strides in this area, never lose hope; things are getting better.  Anybody reading this--please stop the sabotage because you don't understand or are fearful. :)  Support the reasearch for a happy, balanced, and evolved mind as long as no animals are harmed in the process.  Feeling sorry for people is compassionate but probably not solving the problem.  Understanding the problem is a start to resolving the problem.  

    By the way, animals evolved the same as us in terms of of reptilian and mammalian brains.  Some pretty cool research is out there.  Look up research done by Pankepp and Porgess.  Please do the research, because I need to get back to studying for my engineering exam.  I have to be way more respectful of my time and energy.

    Edited by hydrophiliaks

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    Wow... I'm speechless. First talk from Teal I don't agree with, at least not entirely.

    So, when you are bedridden with depression you should just keep telling yourself you are fine and that is a normal reaction to life? Even when all the bad things happened many years ago and you did not start out in bed, you just overexhausted your burdened systems over the years, until only preparing to open your eyes makes your heart beat 160 in a minute? Depression is not just 'bad mood', it is very bad on your body and intelligence as well.  You are also so much nastier and so much more stupid than you can be. Before medication, when I spilled my food or drink i was like "FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK, I HATE MYSELF, I HATE THIS LIFE, I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF, I'M RUNNING AWAY AND WON'T COME BACK UNTIL SOMEONE HAS CLEANED THIS MESS UP, I CANT LOOK AT IT, I HATE F'ING EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE MILLON TIMES IN ONE SECOND". When i spill my food or drink when I'm on medication it's just - "Ouch, this was not how I planned it!" And I just clean it up. I may laugh at myself. I feel like a normal grown up would feel in this (and in any other) situation. Without meds i feel my emotions are so overexagerated they throw me against the walls and I have no control over myself. With my meds I feel there is no need to 'control myself'. I'm normal. I'm me! I say what i mean to say, I do what I mean to do, I am what I want to be.

    So 'which me' would you have to raise my child?

     

    I do agree, though, that children should not be shamed for their feelings and forced to participate in things they don't want to participate, and that people should be able to live the way they can enjoy living.

    Edited by sille

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    I STAND ON THE SIDE OF FEELING

    Thank you Teal, once again you have elucidated many of the things i have seen and felt as a counselor and pastor. I was unable to put them into words. You speak for us all. When our training goes against our heart, we as "professionals" have to muzzle our hearts and go with policies and procedures that protect us and our profession; not our clients or our hearts. "What's wrong with this picture?" It's what many if not most of us have thought or felt, if not said. We have failed to admit that we are codependent on our patients. If they are not sick then how can we demand payment to treat them for their illness? So we have the need to keep them sick so we can keep our jobs, our practice, our status, our profession. We teach them to deny their humanity, their feelings, their heart by denying our own and becoming more alienated from our own feelings and theirs. It's a negative spiral leading to death, denial and destruction. I have been blessed to be able to use my dual status as pastor and counselor to avoid some of these traps and show clients love when my profession counseled distance and to find paths for personal integration when my theology offered  judgement and condemnation. i sometimes feel like I'm living in a modern Tower of Babel with all of our professions hiding behind their various languages of jargon professing their own importance while sailing further and further away from sanity and mutual understanding. We say "It's complicated." it's not. The truth of our heart is denied and the fallacy of our importance is clung to like a floating piece of debris.

    Thank you for speaking truth to the power of professions and the greed of corporations. Be blessed, you are a blessing!

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    I remember when I was in the psych ward as a teenager, and the doctor said my diag-nonsense was "you have a little bit of everything".   My friend told me... "It means you are normal."  HA!  Well rounded in the emotional realm.  They could fuck my brain with chemicals... but they couldn't change my mind.  

    I made it out of that hell hole partially alive.  And learning to feel revives me everyday 

    Much love, 

    Stephanie Meyer

    Edited by Free Spirit

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    Thankyou Teal Thankyou Thankyou THANKYOU!!!!

    I was put on medication at the age of 17. I was young and uninformed, under the impression taking medication was the only way to feel better.

    Now 8 years later I have managed to slowly wean myself off of all medication & have been clean for 1 year.

    While medicated I felt that everything was fine and that by being on medication i was dealing with my emotions. Nothing phased me. I hardly ever cried. I hardly ever truely laughed either. I was like a zombie for 7 years and i didnt even know it. I wasnt myself. I didnt even know who myself was.I had no intention of ever getting off of medication either really until I found Teal & the Completion Process (along with a bunch of other great teachers) and realised i was addicted to pills I knew nothing about, i had been numb and disconnected from my true being for 7 years. I was full of suppressed emotions I am now working through. 

    I have a long way to go but I know I'm on the right track now (now that I'm taking my mental health into my own hands and out of the system!). I feel so much better off of medication. When an emotion arises I feel it! It's okay to feel! 

     

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