The rush of cars, like lazy waves, woke me from my sleep this morning to the cold whisper of air against my skin from the ceiling fan. Outside the window, a crow is calling from its perch on the telephone wires. A man, in his Hawaiian shirt is strolling down the sidewalk with his coffee in hand. The golden sunlight that is so native to California is crawling it’s way across the eastern face of the houses across the street. Everything is as still as a photograph. The palm trees stand so motionless, they look like they have been painted here, instead of grown.
I have not been back to Los Angeles for many years. I tried moving here when I was younger, after being signed to a new modeling agency whose headquarters were here. I lasted a handful of days before putting everything back in my beat up red Subaru and driving straight back from where I came. I would love to write a glowing report on LA, but the reality for those of us who are energy sensitive, is that we dread coming to LA. LA is one of the hardest cities in the nation to be in. It is as if Los Angeles is a vacuum like vortex. As it spins, it sucks people who feel an internal emptiness in with it. And it spits people of a higher vibration out and to its periphery. California is littered with high vibrational towns and cities, places where the consciousness is far beyond average. And sometimes it feels as if all of those high vibrational places are here to balance the black hole that is Los Angeles. Like any city, I am sure that small pockets of positive consciousness exist. I am sure that the people who love this city will not appreciate my “evaluation” of this city. But I have spent a lot of time here and so, I am able to give you the full energetic picture of what is occurring here.
The dominant negative vibration in Los Angeles is poisonous ambition. LA’s poisonous ambition makes it one of the most “cut throat” cities in the world. To say that something is cut throat, means that there is a competition here that is so fierce and intense that ruthless measures are taken in order to succeed or win. Greed, vicious competition, emotional separation, lack of compassion and the drive for power abound. There is a startling shallowness to the consciousness of LA. To generalize, there is an inner emptiness to the people here. Like scavengers, people feed off of success and social status. They feel that something is missing. Their hearts are crying out to be seen and heard, but to show any sign of emotion is to show vulnerability and to show vulnerability in a city like LA, is to be used as a stepping-stone by someone else. The idea that you can become important by making someone else unimportant or better by making someone else worse, has not gone out of style here. The people of Los Angeles need two things desperately. The first is compassion and the second is intimacy, both of which revolve around genuine connection to other people. It is difficult to connect with someone when they will not give you more attention than their cell phone. It is difficult to connect with someone when they are scanning the room for someone who might be more important than you. And it is difficult to connect with someone when they are surveying you for how you might be of use to them later. Los Angeles is one of those places on earth where if you are not born here, deep inner conflict and wounds lead you here.
People move to Los Angeles to make a success of themselves. It is the absolute epicenter of fame. Now fame in and of itself is not a bad thing at all. But the shadow that drives people towards fame, wreaks havoc on people’s lives. The people who move here have very much in common with each other. Early on in life, their families did not understand them. They felt insignificant. They felt unseen and unheard and invalidated. Fame is validating. Success is validating. And so the people who come here are on an endless quest to make themselves important. It is an attempt to “prove themselves” to the original people who should have loved them, but whom invalidated them instead. It is an endless quest to make themselves more impressive, more beautiful, more rich and the list goes on. Many children who are born here are born to parents who have in fact made a success of themselves. They are second generation significance addicts. Forever hanging in the shadow of their hyper-successful and often famous parents, they are desperate to become something more than just their parent’s child.
The hole where validation and love should be, behaves like a vacuum, sucking everything into itself. The insatiable hunger can be felt on the people here. To get very aggressive with the metaphor, they do not want to connect with you; they want to see how they can feed off you. This energy is what drives energy conscious people out of Los Angeles, to the contrast of the surrounding cities and towns. Massive shadow work is needed here to put people in touch with the deep absence they feel in the core of their being.
Ironically, hundreds of years ago when this was a native settlement poison oak used to litter the Los Angeles area. Poison oak only takes over in places where the consciousness of the beings inhabiting a location feel defenseless and vulnerable to attack. This feeling of being defenseless to attack is still a dominant vibration within the collective consciousness of the people here. It renders people defensive as well as distrusting. Like any floodplain, many parts of Los Angeles are devoid of vital energy because the energy drains from the land straight into the sea. Like moths to a light bulb, people in LA are pulled to the sea. It is the great stabilizer. The ocean, like the emancipated soul of the city, sits to the west, always offering it’s energy and it’s depth of spirit. People venture there to find themselves again and to feel something.
The dominant positive vibration is ambition; ironically the positive flip side of poisonous ambition. Ambition is the strong desire and inspiration to do something or achieve something, which involves strong determination. Ambition, which is pure intrinsic motivation is emotional expansion at it’s finest. People move to Los Angeles to chase their dreams. And for many, their dreams are actualized. The day that we stop chasing our dreams is the day that our species is done for. Contrary to popular belief, doing what is sensible and rational will lead you to a no more safe, meaningless and fruitless life. And the people of Los Angeles have it in them to teach the rest of the world to throw caution to the wind and to go for it no matter what. Now if we could hold each other’s hands while we “go for it” instead of destroy each other in order to “go for it”, the emotional expansion and progression coming from this city would be unparalleled. With its finger controlling the world’s entertainment, Los Angeles plays the biggest role in determining where humanity places its focus. We know what the outcome is when humanity places it’s focus on destructive things. But imagine the power of placing the world’s focus on things that positively fed the human soul. That is the potential of LA, the potential to set trends in the mindset of the world. And if you ask me, it’s the best reason to live here. If you really want to make a difference, you really have the opportunity to do that here. It is heaven to me to imagine what would happen if the truly conscious, took over LA.
I must admit that I’m a bit nervous for tomorrow’s workshop. In general, the people who attend these workshops are so conscious and connected to others that they have unlimited interest in, and patience for, processing and healing. But in a town like LA, where entertainment moves at such a fast pace you can hardly keep up with it, I am worried that some people might come to the workshop looking for entertainment or a “show” and thus be disappointed with the pace of true healing as it happens on the stage. I hope that by admitting to that insecurity, it will be a shadow that will not longer follow me around.
The benefit to being in a looks obsessed city is that to be looks obsessed is to be health obsessed and so it is easier to find vegan and raw food restaurants here than anywhere. As you know, my favorite part of travel is the opportunity to try out new restaurants. I could not be more excited if I tried to sample the health conscious cuisine here. I am going to gather energy for tomorrow’s workshop by gravitating towards stress free activities today like visiting the beach and enjoying food and spending time in the little galley sized apartment that I rented. It will be a little test to see if I can spend a whole day in a state of ease.
In honor of my energy critique of Los Angeles, I’m going to leave you with a little sentence for thought…
“Heart without ambition is like a bird without wings and ambition without heart, is like wings without a bird.” –Teal Swan-