I have a confession; I have fallen in love with Indian Saris. I’m obsessed with them now. Someone sent a sari to me last month in honor of my recent marriage (an Indian man) and I figured out two very important things as a result of figuring out how to wear one.
- Indian women are intimidating. Saris are damn complicated to tie on and Indian woman make it seem easy. And the tutorials Indian women make on YouTube are not made for “whiteys” who need step-by-step demonstrations. I ended up having to get one of my Indian clients, Sunita to help show me how to put it on. I have never felt so white in my life and we were both laughing hysterically by the end of the tutorial. Now I have this fear that one day I will have to pass an Indian woman in the street who really knows how to tie a Sari, and she’s going to be thinking to herself “that’s a terrible job”.
- Indian mothers have a very different way of mothering. I had been warned about what to expect from Indian mothers by other Indians. It was explained to me that they worry too much, are hyper critical, have perfectionistic standards and that they have no problem telling their children when they fall short of those standards. Basically, Indian mothers are the eastern version of Jewish mothers. I discovered this first hand when I got all excited to show my new sari tying skills to my new mother in law and her response was “It could be better”.
- I have finally found clothing that represents my divine feminine essence. Saris are my new favorite modality of self-expression. They are like a riot of color. Each one is an art piece. And the way they accent the curves and flow of a female body is breathtaking.
I’ve been taking full advantage of E bay. My favorite place to shop for clothes! I now have a collection of Saris. Today, I am wearing a georgette sky blue sari with tangerine orange trim. Regardless of the fact that it is the middle of winter, I went out into the town wearing it today. It is interesting to watch the reactions I get when I wear Saris. Some people seem genuinely stopped in their tracks by the beauty of the fabric. They go out of their way to come up to me and tell me how beautiful I look in them. Other people look at me like I’ve lost my mind. I have never really understood the idea of dressing for function. To me, clothing serves one purpose… self-expression. I have always dressed impractically. And I love it. I love transforming myself into a walking art piece. I love using clothing to accentuate my body. It is heaven to step into a world full of conformity and oppression, in something that says “this is me today”. It wakes people up out of the monotony. It is freedom.
I’ve noticed that it is difficult for people to maintain the confidence to not base their outfits on other people’s potential reaction instead of on their own inner self. You see, people who dress for the reaction of other people, dress for other people and not themselves. People, who dress according to societal expectation, dress for others and not themselves. And people, who dress for function, often dress for the world and not themselves. It seems most people dress for everyone but themselves. Now you might ask, why is clothing such a big deal? It’ a big deal, because it is so often a reflection of what we are doing internally as well. A person, who dresses for others, often caters not just their clothing, but also the rest of their entire life to other people. They are not intimate enough with themselves to really discover and express their true selves. They do not give themselves permission to be free. True freedom is self-expression. True freedom is about being ourselves. The fear of self-expression is rampant in our society. Suppression and oppression plaques us all, and yet by conforming to the ideal that we hate, we keep it alive and make it harder for others to break out of it.
When I was in New York, a woman showed up in 1940s clothing, complete with a large pink sun hat. Some people loved it because in truth, she looked absolutely beautiful. Other people kept coming up to me in the middle of the gathering to ask what her “mental problem” was. When I talked to the woman later, what she told me was “I wore this outfit in honor of your video on the divine feminine. When I asked myself what the truest expression of the divine feminine within me is, the answer was…the true woman in me would dress like this.” I was completely floored. I was floored that someone took it upon themselves to discover the true divine feminine essence within them. I was floored even further to be in the presence of someone who “got it” to such a degree. Someone who had set themselves free to be their true self regardless of what anyone else around them thought of didn’t think. When we give ourselves permission to be fully ourselves, we give permission to others to do that also.
I love it when I see people who are dressed in a way that tells me who they really are. Especially when they seem pleased with who they really are. I wish that each and every one of us could take the time to discover who our real self is and what our real self would dress like if there were no one around to make any judgments at all. I wish those of us who were brave enough to act like and dress like and be the pure expression of our true selves, would take it upon ourselves to demonstrate what that looks like, so we could start waking people up out of the societal norm together; because it is beautiful. It is beautiful to see someone who is truly unashamed and unapologetic of themselves.
The Painting Above, Is The Vibration of Confident Self Expression
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