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Passing Through

The countryside flows by so fast that the eye cannot settle on anything to look at.  The movement of this European train makes the outside look like a river of landscape or like a Van Gough painting perhaps.  After seeing this, I find myself reflecting on the movement in his paintings.  It makes me wonder if he ever really settled into life on earth or if he spent his days merely passing through life.

architecture-buildings-city-1308940.jpgI am on European tour again.  This time I am stopping in Paris, Amsterdam, England, Dublin, Luxembourg and Basel.  The last time I was in Paris was the day after the 2015 Paris terrorist attacks occurred.  I expected to find Paris restored to its original ways but I find the city much changed.  Fear hangs in the air in the city still.  I have never seen more police and military officers there before.  Paris is not alone in this way of being.  Since being here I must admit that Europe in general feels incredibly unstable right now.  It is caught in a state of guarded uncertainty. 

wa.jpgThe last two days were spent in the countryside of France.  Yesterday, we visited a medieval castle called Chateau de La Roche–Guyon.  For me, visiting historical sites can be like eating a cream filled doughnut… You know better than to do it, but it tastes so good you end up doing it anyway and regretting it later.  As a ‘sensitive’ the density of these ancient thought forms is destructive to the subtle matrix of the energy body.  It is a bit like heavy poison.  I find places like that so utterly fascinating that all of myself is gripped into the experience.  But as the minutes go by, I feel weaker and weaker, more and more horrified by what was considered “normal” back then.  For an extrasensory, these places are still fully alive with the practices that once took place in them.  When it comes to medieval castles this means beheadings and dark religious rites and torture and public defecation and imprisonment in dungeons and complete unconsciousness.  Human life did not hold the same value then that it does now.  Human life was expendable. 

These places are also alive with the people who were the most identified with them.  We had the thought form of a gamekeeper from the 1600s following us through an entire wing of the place.  It was lurking around the stairway stretching from the main building to the tower. 

Coming from a lawsuit happy country, I am both terrified and thrilled at the lack of restriction that exists in many other countries.  To reach the tower, one has to climb a seemingly never-ending vertical staircase that is chiseled through the limestone, like a white cave going straight up.  There is a metal handrail in the center that you literally have to use in order to not fall backwards.  I could not believe it was open to the public.  In America no place would risk the potential law suit of someone inevitably injuring or killing themselves by slipping while going up or down it.  I really wonder how many people have hurt themselves or died there over the years.  Alas, because we were not in America, we made our way up it, huffing and puffing from the exertion.  Vertigo hit me so hard I felt weak in the knees.  It was that same off-kilter feeling I get in so many of my nightmares that involve heights. 

IM0604-hr.jpgExiting the cave-stairs you can see the tower above you with a barred window on its left side, exactly like the one depicted in the old story of Rapunzel.  It is not hard to imagine what life would be like, imprisoned in that room.  When you climb to the top of the tower, miles of French landscape unfold before you.  The architecture below, the spires of the castle, the courtyards and the gentry manors below, have not changed with time.  The sound of the homing pigeons that were kept there still exists in the present day.  The sound itself has become a ghost. It is a pleasant sound to behold. 

I managed to get myself stuck in a hallway where the only way out was to pass by the castle crypt adjacent to the 2 religious halls.  Now it remains open and empty of bodies, but in no way empty of emotion and projection.  It has the energy of a cavern where coveted jewels are kept safe, but jewels that terrify and afflict people with the feeling of mortality and loss.  The impression you get of the rawness of life back then is brutal against the bones.  It makes you feel sore and heartbroken underneath the fascination that compels you forward.

IM0612-hr.jpgOften a soul stream will incarnate over and over in a certain way or at a certain time or place in the universe if the experience available to that perspective causes the kind of continual expansion that the soul stream is looking for.  For example, a being may project forth into third dimensional life as an insect over and over again during the cretaceous period on earth.  Because of the type of expansion available to me at the time, the soul stream that I belong to projected itself forth over and over again as a human in Europe from the 1200s to the 1600s.  This expansion is part of the reason I opted into European genetics this time around again.  In fact, I chose to come into Genetics in this life that are the direct result of people who I actually 'was' in the past.  Let’s hope that means that my current perspective is an improvement upon who I was then.  I was particularly interested in the perspective of Gentry…  Both the freedom and imprisonment inherent in positions of leadership and nobility. 

Having lived so intently over that period of time, it is now the time period most familiar to me somatically.  I have this problem any time I visit Europe and find my way back to these old castles and manors.  They immediately feel more real to me than the life I am currently living.  It feels as if I have awoken from a bizarre dream, but the bizarre dream is this life as Teal Swan.  I feel disoriented for the remainder of the day after stepping back into them.  I relate to them all so strongly that the memories that live there are echoes of my own memories. 

My first on-stage appearance is tomorrow in Amsterdam.  I am not looking forward to it with as much zeal as usual.  This year, I have had more people turn against me than ever before, and aggressively so.  I expected this opposition to happen because it is the nature of the career I have chosen.  But what I did not expect is that this opposition would come from so close to home.  I did not expect that people who I considered to be 100% trusted friends and even family would turn on me and join the opposition.         

blue-1593878_640.jpgThink about it this way, if you and your friend or co-worker have a big disagreement that makes you feel hurt by them in some way, you have nowhere to go to get validation for the way you feel and confirmation about your perspective.  But when people have disagreements that make them feel hurt by me (or any celebrity really), they do have somewhere to go to get validation for how they feel and confirmation about your perspectice.  They can go to the people who already publicly say that I am a horrible person.  My haters will justify and validate the way anyone feels about me as long as it is not in favor of me.  In fact, they will fuel it.

And I have learned the hard way that I cannot do anything to create repair once they turn against me because they adopt a certain perspective.  They see me through the lens of “evil” and everything I say or do will be filtered through it.  I am damned no matter what I do.  Everything will simply be converted into proof that I am what they have decided that I am.       

horse-racing-2714849_640.jpgWhen people are opposing you, especially those who you took far into your heart, the natural inclination is to withdraw, close up and not extend yourself towards the world anymore.  I feel unwanted in the world because of how much louder and dedicated the minority is with their hate than the majority is with their love.  And yet I know that I am like a racehorse.  The minute their hooves touch the track, they are in their element and the rest is merely the bliss of instinct… The peace of doing exactly what they were designed to do.  And I know that the minute I can get face to face with someone who is in a place of questioning or struggle, I will snap into this place where nothing exists except for them and me.  A place where we are concealed in a vortex of my obsessive passion for this work and my true purpose. 

Anonymity has a sweet texture to it.  Too much of anything is a poison.  Too much anonymity is a prison of insignificance.  Too much visibility is to be a target on display in a world full of weapons.  And I am sore from the arrow points today.

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Dear Teal,

I just LOVE your honesty and authenticity.

I feel you and it makes me very sad when I read about your challenges connected to the betrayal. It is hard. It is painful.

May you find courage and strength again.

I am forever grateful for you work. I have never experienced such a powerful shift in my life than after a completion process session...

Much love to you!!!

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Dearest Teal! 

You have ni idea what positive impact you make on my life. Even if you nerver spoke again you made this for ever changing impact on my familyline. 

I have not met you, still you validate me like no other. And I give it on. 

I can well understand your situation with your haters and the insecurity around it. Thank you for sharing your perspective. That too helped me. I am also a person with a special perspective, frightening and not always understandable for others, especially those who are unaware and powerful. They hit hard on me for every new thought every attempt to get into alignment.  It tok me a long time to gather strength and sanity enough to stand up. They kept me back by pushing all my fears, one of them is the fear of making  me look like a victim, manipulating    Very effective manipulativt way of stoping me  to call out verbal abuse. Then I learned the saying "Name it, don't blame it". So now I can sort out description from blaming/victimizing.  And from my point of view, it looks as you can too. I love your tone and perspective, it sounds balanced and sincere. Keep it  up,  your light is so bright it   cast  really black shadows. I send you all my love and gratitude. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️????????

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Sweet and dear Teal,

know that from my point of view you are a wonderful human being, who I consider very precious to me, as just your pure existence and presence brings so much joy and inspiration into my world, imagine how much your work and ideas add to this. There is no other way for me than simply and heartfully love you and I'd love to convey it to you through firmly hugging you with all my feminine softness, tenderness and gentleness. It deeply saddens me that you still encounter betrayals and opposition that hurts you and makes you feel powerless and unwanted. I feel that's especially dishartening when this comes from women, as there could be so much nurturing love and creativity in our banding together. If we just dropped the plain old perspective full of fear, anxiety and victimhood that makes us believe that we are threats to each other, and started seeing the true abundance that lies in us, in our Earth and Universe. Then we could finally open up to a new world full of possibilities we couldn't even imagine before, because we were running in circles, blinded and seperated from each other with our fear and old pain - Come on now! This attitude, this old perspective served us already, there's no need to repeat it endlessly! Why not start anew?! Let's interact with each other without same old fearful, pessimistic expectations and be rather surprised with each others brightness and radiance !:)

May you be even much more gentle with yourself, Teal, and may you feel your own incredible strength and courage despite your fragility!

Sending you lot's of love, warmth and tenderness and wishing you awesome and joyfull surprises each brand new day!:loldog:
 

Edited by Hana Homsi

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:5761e0b45d018_EmojiSmiley-08:Lovely Teal  <3

 Sunny light shining through 

Time to wish something New

Love and Strength to your heart

 May  your probs goes apart 

Shiny smile on your face 

Wish you Love full of Grace <3  

xxxxxx :) 

 

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Teal, 

I think you are great!  I just always want to smile and wave to you :)  I don't know you personally of course but it is your generous transparency and strength in standing in who you are that allows me to see you, and inspires me to feel and impose with acceptance of myself in this unknown world.  I live in Paris from Canada and really feel the uncertainty you mention, but your support has been ongoing affirmation to me and I have felt deeply validated in the humanity and love you lead, not to mention your enthusiasm for what you do.  Thank you--you forever have a supporter in me.  I am in your corner, sending you lots of love and gratitude, and openness. 

Pamela

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Teal,

It is hard to hear you struggle with haters and say that your followers don't express enough love. So here I am expressing mine!

I want you to know that you have changed my life and keep pushing the boundaries of my mind in a good way - your teachings help me accept myself, the totality of myself, not just the good aspects. And because of following you, I am able to help other people with similar issues and share the lessons that I've learned from you.  Please keep following your passion for changing the world and making people more conscious and challenging us and yourself! We need more revolutionaries like yourself and believe me, you are making a huge positive impact on those who love you! And the world!

I cannot express enough gratitude to you and I hope that you feel the appreciation on some energetic level whenever I think of you and your teachings (which is a lot)!! I have even been thinking of how I can be a part of your Headway foundation and help make the world a better place. ;):) 

Thank you for being! I love you! My friends love you! Many people love you! Be strong and keep us in your heart to help protect against haters. You are fascinating and you bring joy and peace and hope and love and acceptance to those who need it. <3

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Hi Teal, these past couple of weeks I have watching your video's and they have been helping me tremendously. I thank you so much for making the time to help people to be enlighten for themselves. I am very sorry that their are people out there that has something against you, because you speak the truth, according to your perspective of what you feel is right. I feel the same as you thus far because the different views I have been feeling lately within myself. When  someone is different and stand out some people always seems to have a problem with someone.  God or Source created us to be different , so people should respect other people opinions, because we are all made from the same particles.  If everyone thought the same this world would be boring in itself. Yes, I come form a Christian background, but I am open to different beliefs as well. There is no one way to truth, and people have to to come to understand this. I agree like you said you have to go by what feels good to you.  For example, I like Christian worship music still in all forms, classical, rock ,  and contemporary. However, on the other-hand  I like things centered around Buddhism, crystals, tarot cards and so forth. I was confused at one point, but I just stop fighting the confusion and accept this is who I am , in which even more you helped me to understand this . I've read the "Shadows Before Dawn " book, awesome book!  thank so much  for writing it, it is helping me to understand myself even better. :thumbs-up-yahoo-emoticon:

Blessings, Marcus  

Edited by Mark Bailey

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Hang Strong, you have provided the strenth for other spirtual leaders like myself to come out of the shadows.  And remember as the catalyst you don't have to change and you don't have to make the changes - You simply provide the knowledge which is responsable for the change.

Also like you I am clairvoyant and it is hard for the fire we see ahead not to effect us, if its any consolation it's your spirit quide Shen who sent me to read your blog today and compels me to let you know for every enemy you have made 10 new embers of truth now flurish...

I send you my energy and white light, take a minute and your shoes off feel the cleansing energy of the earth, hug a tree!  And stop eating junk food (lol)....

 

 

 

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I made a video expressing my love to you. Our love to you. 

Hang in there, we keep going. You can only do your best. Im coming to see you in Dublin and we will meet, hug and smile. We will connect. Drink of the elexir of life and continue to be you.

Ur my soul sister Teal. I feel you. We are good. We keep going. 

It's so courageous of you to do a tour in Europe. :love-struck-yahoo-emoticon:

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Wow, a discussion of the brutal tulpas within French castles and then ending on a photo of Damascus steel arrow points.  There is something to how Western Europe is feeling this backlash. The reason that France feels fear from violent attacks is perhaps the same reason that Teal has been apprehensive about all the spiteful negativity sent her way. The middle east attacking Europe is a hurtful magnification of real hurt, and it is in some senses old hurt that goes back to the French occupation of coastal Syria in… yes the 1200s.  It is not random that these ideas are connected in one post. 

I struggle with my own ways of disarming negativity sent my way. It is really hard to do, hard to not magnify it and create a custom hell for yourself and others. I see Teal's personal struggle  as important. I hope you can bear this well and dissolve those arrow points. Do be heartened that reading this lends me perspective and inspires me to keep on with my own efforts of "disarmament" and repair. Thank you. I hope things go well. 

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Listen to me...

1. The way you feel right now is exactly the way youre supposed to feel. It is the correct emotion for feeling hurt and appropriate response to rejection. <YOU taught me to say this verbatim and i use it literally every single day of my life> 

2. Feeling sad for yourself is a sign of emotional health it means you are doing what someone who loves themselves would do. In the same way you would feel sad if someone you love was treated meanly... you should feel those same feelings towards yourself because you love you too. In the same way your instincts would lead you to hug and kiss them and maybe make their favorite snack to comfort them.. your instinct is to share your hurt gain comfort from the acknowledgement, release, and support from your friends here on your blog... who like you.. alot. I dont know if you said that or i said it.. but one of us did and either way its correct.. i dunno read MY blog... maybe it will help you it helps everyone else.

3. People are fkng jerkoffs. 

4. You KNOW what happened to me. Youre the only one who knows the whole story. You KNOW what that psychologist did to me.. abused her power  told everybody exactly what to say tricked me set me up lied and turned EVERYBODY against me. Dude, I DIED..  because of that EVIL WOMAN and i came back... my haters tried to fkng kill me... God said  NOWAY. Now not only did i come back stronger.. but i came back gifted too.. just like you.. but without the visuals. POINT = Everytime one of YOUR haters have really gotten rediculus.. YOU end up doing the most AWESOME stuff you do.. like all of your BEST.. the best of the best comes out right after some crazy haterade shitshow... so... ive said it before and ill say it forever DONT STOP. THE WORLD NEEDS YOU TEAL. You just keep plowing right through those bastards. Just keep knockin right threw em. ;-) <3 I know it hurts. It's supposed to. But.. YOURE Teal Swan.. so.. go be teal swan and dont take no shit.

 

 

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