• Passing Through

    The countryside flows by so fast that the eye cannot settle on anything to look at.  The movement of this European train makes the outside look like a river of landscape or like a Van Gough painting perhaps.  After seeing this, I find myself reflecting on the movement in his paintings.  It makes me wonder if he ever really settled into life on earth or if he spent his days merely passing through life.

    paris-travel-guide.jpgI am on European tour again.  This time I am stopping in Paris, Amsterdam, England, Dublin, Luxembourg and Basel.  The last time I was in Paris was the day after the 2015 Paris terrorist attacks occurred.  I expected to find Paris restored to its original ways but I find the city much changed.  Fear hangs in the air in the city still.  I have never seen more police and military officers there before.  Paris is not alone in this way of being.  Since being here I must admit that Europe in general feels incredibly unstable right now.  It is caught in a state of guarded uncertainty. 

    Chateau.jpgThe last two days were spent in the countryside of France with my very close friend and master healer Jacques Connan as well as his family and friends.  I spent a lot of time doing inner journeywork in his healing room late at night.  Yesterday, we visited a medieval castle called Chateau de La Roche–Guyon.  For me, visiting historical sites is like eating a cream filled doughnut… You know better than to do it, but it tastes so good you end up doing it anyway and regretting it later.  As a ‘sensitive’ the density of these ancient thought forms is destructive to the subtle matrix of the energy body.  It is a bit like heavy poison.  I find places like that so utterly fascinating that all of myself is gripped into the experience.  But as the minutes go by, I feel weaker and weaker, more and more horrified by what was considered “normal” back then.  For an extrasensory, these places are still fully alive with the practices that once took place in them.  When it comes to medieval castles this means beheadings and dark religious rites and torture and public defecation and imprisonment in dungeons and complete unconsciousness.  Human life did not hold the same value then that it does now.  Human life was expendable. 

    media25133.jpgThese places are also alive with the people who were the most identified with them.  We had the thought form of a gamekeeper from the 1600s following us through an entire wing of the place.  It was lurking around the stairway stretching from the main building to the tower. 

    220px-La_Roche-Guyon_-_Escalier01.jpgComing from a lawsuit happy country, I am both terrified and thrilled at the lack of restriction that exists in many other countries.  To reach the tower, one has to climb a seemingly never-ending vertical staircase that is chiseled through the limestone, like a white cave going straight up.  There is a metal handrail in the center that you literally have to use in order to not fall backwards.  I could not believe it was open to the public.  In America no place would risk the potential law suit of someone inevitably injuring or killing themselves by slipping while going up or down it.  I really wonder how many people have hurt themselves or died there over the years.  Alas, because we were not in America, we made our way up it, huffing and puffing from the exertion.  Vertigo hit me so hard I felt weak in the knees.  It was that same off-kilter feeling I get in so many of my nightmares that involve heights. 

    tower.jpgExiting the cave-stairs you can see the tower above you with a barred window on its left side, exactly like the one depicted in the old story of Rapunzel.  It is not hard to imagine what life would be like, imprisoned in that room.  When you climb to the top of the tower, miles of French landscape unfold before you.  The architecture below, the spires of the castle, the courtyards and the gentry manors below, have not changed with time.  The sound of the homing pigeons that were kept there still exists in the present day.  The sound itself has become a ghost. It is a pleasant sound to behold. 

    I managed to get myself stuck somehow in a hallway where the only way out was to pass by the castle crypt adjacent to the 2 religious halls.  Now it remains open and empty of bodies, but in no way empty of emotion and projection.  It has the energy of a cavern where coveted jewels are kept safe, but jewels that terrify and afflict people with the feeling of mortality and loss.  The impression you get of the rawness of life back then is brutal against the bones.  It makes you feel sore and heartbroken underneath the fascination that compels you forward.

    vue-du-chateau-de-la-roche-guyon.jpgOften a soul stream will incarnate over and over in a certain way or at a certain time or place in the universe if the experience available to that perspective causes the kind of continual expansion that the soul stream is looking for.  For example, a being may project forth into third dimensional life as an insect over and over again during the cretaceous period on earth.  Because of the type of expansion available to me at the time, the soul stream that I belong to projected itself forth over and over again as a human in Europe from the 1200s to the 1600s.  This expansion is part of the reason I opted into European genetics this time around again.  In fact, I chose to come into Genetics in this life that are the direct result of people who I actually was in the past.  Let’s hope that means that my current perspective is an improvement upon who I was then.  I was particularly interested in the perspective of Gentry…  Both the freedom and imprisonment inherent in positions of leadership and nobility. 

    Anyway, having lived so intently over that period of time, it is now the time period most familiar to me somatically.  So I have this problem any time I visit Europe and find my way back to these old castles and manors.  They immediately feel more real to me than the life I am currently living.  It feels as if I have awoken from a bizarre dream, but the bizarre dream is this life as Teal Swan.  I feel disoriented for the remainder of the day after stepping back into them.  I relate to them all so strongly that the memories that live there are echoes of my own memories. 

    Trademark-opposition-procedure-in-Italy.jpgBecause I am in the middle of a new book, I have been holed up in a room, writing from 6-8 hours every day.  This tour has forced me to put it on hold and come out and begin to interact with the outside world again.  My first on-stage appearance is tomorrow in Amsterdam.  I know that those who want to see my career end will revel in knowing that they have succeeded in negatively impacting me.  But, I feel like being honest even though it will give them pleasure to hear.  To be honest, I feel apprehensive to be on stage again.  Putting yourself ‘out there’ is hard enough as it is, much less when people are booing you off stage.  This year has been the year for that experience.  I have had more people turn against me this year than ever before, and aggressively so.  I expected this opposition to happen because it is the nature of the career I have chosen.  But what I did not expect is that this opposition would come from so close to home.  I did not expect that people who I considered to be 100% trusted friends and even family would turn on me and join the opposition.         

    The people who turn against me tend to band together.  They form groups where they all get together and validate each other about how terrible I am as a person.  And now, I feel this terrible feeling that I cannot afford to have a disagreement with anyone or fail to live up to the expectations they have in their mind for how a spiritual teacher ‘should’ be; because of the inevitable course of action they will take. I have been feeling like I cannot afford to fall out with people because they join my hate groups and then become convinced through influence that I am in fact way worse than they thought… I am in fact corrupt and fraudulent and evil. 

    images.jpegThink about it this way, if you and your friend or co-worker have a big disagreement that makes you feel hurt by them in some way, you have nowhere to go to get validation for the way you feel.  But when people have disagreements that make them feel hurt by me, they do have somewhere to go to get validation for how they feel.  They can go to the people who already publicly say that I am a horrible person.  My haters will justify and validate the way anyone feels about me as long as it is not in favor of me.  In fact, they will fuel it.

    And I have learned the hard way that I cannot do anything to create repair once they turn against me because they adopt a certain perspective.  They see me through the lens of “evil” and everything I say or do will be filtered through it.  For example, when I write this blog, in which I am authentically expressing the fact that I feel hurt, they will warp it into me manipulating people through self-pity.  I am damned no matter what I do.  Everything must simply be converted into proof that I am what they have decided that I am.       

    images (1).jpegWhen people are opposing you, especially those who you took far into your heart, the natural inclination is to withdraw, close up and not extend yourself towards the world anymore.  I feel unwanted in the world because of how much louder and dedicated the minority is with their hate than the majority is with their love.  And I do not keep my energy where it is unwanted.  And yet I know that I am like a racehorse.  The minute their hooves touch the track, they are in their element and the rest is merely the bliss of instinct… The peace of doing exactly what they were designed to do.  And I know that the minute I can get face to face with someone who is in a place of questioning or struggle, I will snap into this place where nothing exists except for them and me.  A place where we are concealed in a vortex of my obsessive passion for this work. 

    I can see now that anonymity has a sweet texture to it that I never felt compelled to touch before now.  Too much of anything is a poison.  Too much anonymity is a prison of insignificance.  Too much visibility is to be a target on display in a world full of weapons.  And I am sore from the arrow points today.   

       850b arrow points close up.JPG

     


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    ❤️

    I can so feel you reading this. I had similar emotions, especially this week & today. But I am very happy seeing you tomorrow ~ sending lots of LOVE to you! 

    ❤️

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    Dear Teal. So great to read about your facination towards medieval castles. I have it too and like you i feel the raw aliveness still kept in such places. 

    I get the impression that your apprehension towards stage-work has to do with some change coming in how your work will unfold in the future. So maybe being anonymous and invincible for a while is necessary for the hatching of this new way.

    Anyway, take care and know you are much loved. 

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    Thank you so much for keep being loving, authentic, vulnerable and raw. The world needs more of that, much more... 

    I know it is impossible to be loved and understood by everyone and haters will hate just for the sake of it (I think that in reality they are not OK with themselves and they suffer from envy, jealously, insecurities, ignorance, lack of validation, lack of self-love, self-esteem and empathy...). They are not ready to fully embrace your (and their) authenticity, knowledge, teachings, generosity, rawness, joy, love and energy.

    But there are a lot of people that are ready and eager to learn, that are open to fully embrace your Self, your insights, teachings, processes, work and vision for a New World!

    There are a lot of people that are alive today because of you, that are happier because of you, that found their purpose and follow their joy because of you, that are awakening because of you, dear One...

    I humbly send you my most sincere wishes that the Love of All will protect you from the arrow points and that you can heal and keep doing your Work to the greater good of all beings and the expansion of Consciousness.

    Much Love and Infinite Gratitude :5761df401fd0b_EmojiNatur-66:

     

     

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    its painful to read this and i feel pity for the opposition. but i think, we should try to repair the relations. there are categories of people sitting in opposition. the message should go across to each individual based on his/her category and the reason for opposition. This situation can be repaired.

    But any one repair option wont work for all the people. need to be surgical to repair according to the personalities that are opposing. the higher spirituality may not work for them due to their limited perspective. i also think, that stubbornness of the opposition can be successfully dealt with more convincing. i just hope, the opposition realizes who is the enemy and joins the team one day. 

    Dear opposers, dont kill the spirit please. You may not be able to find such a courage elsewhere. Why dont you confront directly instead of manipulation? 

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    Teal Swan,

    My friend in my head.  Even though we do not know each other personally....and indeed I do not know if we somehow did connect in this life if we would attract or repel each other.  But I do know that you are magnificent yet you are human. And have human obstacles just like me.  I am not worshipping you.  I know better than thinking we are not equal.  But I do appreciate you in every sense of the word.  You have helped me and many others pull back layers of crud and expose the real issue whatever that may be.  I also allow others to have their opinions and judgements because that's something they need to work out.  I have my own shit I need to work out too...and I'm sure you do too.  At the end of the day that's all there is.  We learn we grow we live....I see me in you and you in me.  Much love! 

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    In a game of chess you should not have the black king walking around without purpose, but during the end-game there is not rare , that you may need him near ...

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    Dear Teal,



    I am usually a silent follower, lets say. But today I will write to you, because I want you to know how much good you do for me. I dont see you as evil or as perfect, I see you as an extremely talented human being who spreads hope and knowledge and passion and love. 

     

    When I "discovered" you for myself, I heard of your haters - they are quite loud, but I kept and open mind and I figured out for myself who you are to me. And to me you are a great source of inspiration, your techniques help a lot, I learn so much from your videos and books and most recently Im doing your meditations and it has been quite a journey with you. 

     

    I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR WHAT YOU DO!!! I am sorry that I dont participate more actively in letting you know, but at least for today I do - thank you for what you do. Please, keep going. I look forward to your videos every week, I read your webpage cover to cover, I ordered all of your books, Im trying out what works for me from your techniques - and its a lot!

     

    Thank you

    Thank you

    Thank you

     

    Love, Hana

     

     

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    You will be fabulous tomorrow , as always . How could you not . As an old stage master once said - Breathe up through your feet, relax, and keep a cool head and a warm heart. 

    I am sending you much love and support, as are many. 

    have a great time , enjoy xm 

     

     

     

     

     

     

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    Dear Teal,

    Hope you feel better by now. I Long to see you in the physical world, our souls have met in the non-physical world.

    Stay safe and healthy,

    Pantheia

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    Dear Teal; 

    I was very sad to read that the minority is louder with their hate than the majority with their love. I take this as an opportunity to express how thankful I am for YOU.  I keep you in my heart and I send you positive vibes as best as I know how to! 

    Lots of light for you and your team in this Euro Tour <3 

    I love you! 

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    I completely don 't understand why someone would want to hurt you , as you are love, compassion and a spiritual guidance too all of us .

    I had to cry when i read this , it touches me so deeply since i cannot stand unjustice to someone i love.

    Much love and light xxx

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    Hi Teal, 

    I've been following your work now for a few years and your influence has had a huge impact on me.  I live in Glasgow,Scotland. Definitely a city you should visit. 

    If you do decide to come,I do some massage treatments in a place called Six Rooms health & beauty (6 Highburgh road).  They have a room there for air b n b, just to let you know, its a really lovely place to stay if you decide to come. 

    I'm sorry to hear about that kind of deep betrayal.  You are loved by many and your work is so extraordinary, I guess I can only imagine it will take a while for people to catch up with it. 

    Ill send you my blessings.  You are such a blessing in my life and I'm truly so grateful.

    Lots of Love,

    Cristina  

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    Dear Teal,

    I just LOVE your honesty and authenticity.

    I feel you and it makes me very sad when I read about your challenges connected to the betrayal. It is hard. It is painful.

    May you find courage and strength again.

    I am forever grateful for you work. I have never experienced such a powerful shift in my life than after a completion process session...

    Much love to you!!!

    aube.jpg

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