A symphony of chaos, New York City buzzes and screeches around me in all directions. Bodies jockeying for space. The streets and air are stained with grunge. The buildings close out the sky. I walk through pockets of smells. One second, the rich heat of flat crust pizza. The next, the stinging sharpness of urine. New York is an assault on the senses. It overwhelms you. I have come here to gather people so as set off a ripple of consciousness within the unconsciousness.
This is not my first time to New York City. It has a way of staying the same. Of all the cities in America, doing an energetic diagnosis on New York makes me the most uncomfortable. It makes me uncomfortable because of just how identified New Yorkers are with New York. Indeed many of them cannot conceive in their hearts that anything exists West of the Hudson. The people, who love this city, LOVE this city and defend it with fervor. I’m used to people identifying with the location where they live to the degree that they feel personally offended by any critique of it. But knowing the NYC psyche, I fear an unusually high amount of backlash. But today, I’m going for it anyway...
The dominant negative vibration of New York City is: “Cut Throat”. This is the word, which best sums up the particular flavor of callous aggression that drags down the vibration here. It does not simply flavor the city. It owns the city. This is what gives New York its reputation for being the most unfriendly city in America. What is confusing about the average New Yorker is that this unfriendliness does not come in the form you would expect it. One would expect an unfriendly person to be aloof and to keep a distance between themselves and you. But New Yorkers do not do this. They are not aloof. To the contrary, they easily strike up conversation to the degree that one could say they even insert themselves in your space and business. They are outgoing but, at the turn of a dime, that outgoing energy can turn harsh and aggressive. Argument is an experience generally avoided amongst people. Conflict is uncomfortable. But New York is a city full of inflamed Egos. And Egos like to feel a sense of self. Egos feel this sense of self, only when they are in opposition to something. And so, it seems like everywhere you go in New York is an argument or interpersonal conflict of some kind. Anger serves to suppress the fear that the people feel here.
I remember hearing once that though rats are generally peaceful, friendly creatures, if you put them in a cage that is too crowded; they start to eat each other. To the negative, New York is like a rat cage that is too small. The competition for space, resources, ruthless achievement and a sense of self within the world has made this city “Cut Throat”.
The dominant positive vibration of New York City is: “Vocation”. Vocation is a strong feeling of suitability for a specific occupation (most often it comes in the form of a career). Employment is usually the main occupation people have in life. And New York is ripe with people who regard their employment as being particularly worthy and of requiring great dedication. This dedication can be an inspirational thing. It fills the city with the feeling of being driven and it makes you want to get up and get moving.
In the spiritual world, we mostly teach people how to get beyond doing and just be. Being is therefore valued over doing. But the truth is that doing is a beautiful thing. Doing is a natural expression of being as long as it is not done to escape being. New York City is a place full of doing, which is why you can wake up at 3:00 am and walk out into a city that does not sleep. Sirens blaze all night with the rush of traffic and lights. People in New York have work to do. As a result, it feels like things are getting done and happening here. The relentless pace of life in New York can be it’s greatest downfall and it’s greatest gift. There is so much buzz to the city it would be very hard to get bored here. This buzz one feels on the New York Street feels like it’s own dimension. London is the city in the world that is the most similar vibrationally to New York. But in London there is an heir of “meandering or wandering” to the pedestrians on the streets. In New York, the heir is about purposefully charging forward. And if you walk out onto the street, you had better follow suit or you’ll be trampled to death. It’s like walking into a very fast moving current; it quickly teaches you to go with the flow.
After this weekend’s workshop, I have decided to take a look at changing the format of my synchronization workshops. I don’t know exactly how yet, but like any good event, they evolve over time. I’m going to allow this change to take place as they have a life of their own and I’m curious about what they want to become. It seems change is happening in all areas of life right now. Sometimes, we collectively go through this process. As was predicted not only by myself, but also by so many other astrologers and extrasensories, this year all areas of life are being forced to change form and function. We are in the instability of change so that we can find true stability. Think of it like a purification process. When we ask for the best possible version of life, our life has to mutate to become that. In the unstable transition from where we are to where we want to be, we step out into the unknown. Transition is not easy or comforting. As a result, the background noise in many of our lives right now is anxiety. It is tempting to think that anxiety means something is going wrong. But I assure you it is not. It is simply that we are being pushed WAY past our comfort zones into a new frontier. And when we confront the unknown, we project all the fears we have from past experiences into the unknown and in turn begin to fear it.
This desire to “know” is not in and of itself negative. It is a desire for security. But there is a shadow side to the quest for knowing. The shadow side is that knowing is often used by the ego as a security blanket. The ego uses knowing to avoid things that it fears. Things like insignificance and worthlessness and pain. Knowledge is worshipped by cultures the world over and knowledgeable individuals are valued. They command respect within their society. In society, knowing more about something than somebody else boosts one’s social status. We become significant to others when we know something more than they do. We become significant when we are the venue through which they can get their knowledge “fix”. It is easy to see then how the ego could use knowledge to avoid insignificance, personal insecurity and worthlessness.
Knowledge also helps us to avoid future calamity. If we know the winter is coming, we can stock up on food and survive the winter. If we do not know it is coming and do not stock up on food, we may die. If we are a person who worries about the future and most of all who does not trust ourselves to create a reality that feels good to us, knowledge becomes a tool for self-protection. Knowledge is the worrier’s best friend. Knowledge is often used by the ego to keep itself away from the rocky seas of uncertainty. Cognitive closure makes us feel safe. If we look at the ego for what it is, which is an identity (the identity you call by your name, which is temporary and also illusion), we quickly see that the ego’s goal is to stay alive and serve as contrast for our true self. The ego serves us by facilitating our expansion. And one way it does this is by keeping you alive in the physical long enough to learn/progress. And if the ego’s goal is survival, knowledge is more essential than even food or water is. After all, knowledge is what allows us to find food and water in the first place. All humans are knowledge junkies as long as they are identified with themselves.
We are set up to go after the goal of realization or the goal of grasping a concept. We go after the goal of knowing instead of the process of learning. This makes the learning experience uncomfortable. This makes learning something that we have to “get through” in order to get to the mental carrot we are chasing. You’ve heard it again and again, we fear the unknown. Guess what? The idea that we fear the unknown is total BS. We don’t fear the unknown. If we truly feared the unknown, babies would fear everything and they do not. What we fear is what we project into the unknown based on our previous experiences. When we are facing the unknown, the mind goes to work projecting it’s already acquired fears into the unknown to try to predict what lies in the unknown and then goes to work trying to figure out how to avoid those fears. It’s those projections that we fear.
For example, if we quit our job that we have been working at for 10 years to do something radically new and different with our life, we are venturing into the unknown. But we don’t fear that unknown in and of itself. We fear the potential failure and fall from grace that we could experience socially by venturing into the unknown. We fear this because we have experienced the feeling of failure and fall from grace before and wish to avoid this feeling at all costs. We do not fear the unknown in and of itself. We fear the potential unwanted things we predict that the unknown could contain. If we learned to not project our fears into the unknown, the unknown would no longer be scary.
The ego is obsessed with the quest for truth and knowledge because it’s convinced that knowledge and truth will keep unwanted things from happening to it. But the unknown holds a glaring truth; like a clam holds a pearl and that truth is that the state of learning is a higher state than knowing. The open state of inquisition and questioning is a state open to all possibilities. The closed state of knowing shuts the door to further learning. In a way knowing is ended-ness. You can’t know everything about everything. Source doesn’t even know everything about everything. There would be no reason for life to exist if source knew everything. Source only knows what it knows up unto this point. You, being a microcosm (a fractal) of the larger universe, only know what you know up to this point.
Most of us fear not knowing because we fear that as a result of that lack of knowing, we will end up going through a “bad” experience. Your worry will greatly be reduced when you train your focus to see that value is contained in every single experience. There is a Zen master that once said, “the barn is burnt down, now I can see the moon”. Inherent in that statement is the idea that even the things that we would identify as a tragedy contain value. If there is value in all experiences in our lives, we will not run around trying to avoid certain experiences. That in and of itself is liberation. Bad or unwanted experiences are only what we call experiences, whose part in our growth and integration we do not yet understand. The minute we understand that all experiences enrich our life because they all cause learning and growth, we cease to see any experience as bad. We begin to see experiences from source perspective. Source does not see “bad experiences in life” as bad. Source sees every experience, no matter how uncomfortable, as an integral and valuable experience. The experiences we go through are open to interpretation. That’s the beauty and the pain of it. We can interpret any experience in a way that causes us to suffer or we can interpret it in a way that causes us to grow and integrate, thus becoming more whole in and of ourselves.
You cannot know everything about everything. Expecting yourself to know everything about everything is cruelty. It is also the result of fear. The universe works like this, questions lead to answers, which lead to more questions which lead to more answers, which lead to more questions and no one, not even the universe at large, knows if there will ever be an end to this cycle of questions giving rise to answers giving rise to questions giving rise to answers. The progression of thought may be eternal and it may not be eternal. You have heard the expression, “It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey”. What If I was to tell you there is no destination? Now it really is only about the journey and all life is nothing more than a journey. All life is based upon exploration, expansion, adventure, and the progression of discovery and learning. So how do we come to love learning without becoming attached to knowing? We release the fears we have surrounding the idea of not knowing. We admit to what we are really afraid of. For example, I might be afraid of not knowing because I have chosen a career that is built upon the expression of information. I might be afraid that if I do not know all the answers to everything, that I will lose my value to the people who come to seek my knowledge. I may fear that if I lose my value to them, I will fall from grace and be rejected by the very people who profess to value me now. Or I might be afraid of not knowing because if I don’t know, I could make a tragic mistake. And if I make a tragic mistake, I would feel bad about myself and it would revive my childhood feelings of shame, which are painful. We need to be brave enough to face what we are trying to avoid by knowing. We need to own up to and face what we are really afraid of. We need to turn around and face the fears that we are projecting into the unknown. Because the unknown has become a scapegoat that keeps us locked in a vicious pattern of avoiding what we are really afraid of. So… What are you REALLY afraid of?