• Futility

    9940636.jpgLike so much of the Western United States, Seattle is shrouded in white-gray wildfire smoke. The sunlight penetrates it like splinters.  It does not feel like the same shimmering city by the sea.  I visited one of my favorite restaurants in the world, which happens to be here, called Mai Thaiku.  It is a little Thai restaurant in what feels like a residential neighborhood.  A good friend dragged me there years ago.  He told me that the food there is so good that you actually can’t hold a conversation while eating it.  When I first tasted the food, I could not believe it.

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    If food is a certain level of excellence, it makes me shed tears. True to form, my eyes started welling up with tears. The flavors are so all consuming and pleasurable that they suck you inside yourself. They paralyze you. You feel the food in all of your senses like you have come alive but at the same time; you cannot interact with the world. It never matters who I take to Mai Thaiku, they always have the same experience. Once the food gets to the table, as if everyone has taken a shamanic medicine instead of eaten food, a silence falls over everyone. As everyone eats, they close their eyes in ecstasy and breathe in as if trying to inhale the food at the same time as taste it.  If I learned that I was only going to live for a month, one of the things I would do is fly to Seattle to eat my two favorite dishes at the restaurant, Authentic Pad Thai and Red Coconut Curry.

    37113-City-Sightseeing-Worldwide-01_preview.jpgI took a Hop On Hop Off Bus Tour around the city in order to get an energetic look at the people.  I usually love those kinds of tours because they usually consist of an overload of historical information and city facts that I love.  But the bus tours are no longer like that.  They are literally nothing more than an advertisement opportunity for local companies.  The drivers now shamelessly sell restaurant after restaurant, shop after shop and tourist attraction after tourist attraction as if directly reading a marketing blurb submitted for Television.  As a business owner myself, it makes perfect sense.  A part of me is thinking, “Well that was a genius idea”.  As a customer, part of me is thinking, “Did I just get on a city tour bus or sign up for an infomercial tour?  If you want to spend a day being driven from tourist site to tourist site and getting on and off at will, it is a great idea.  What it did allow me to do is to survey the city both on a physical and non physical level.

    Several unusual things were taking place in Seattle this past weekend, including a huge hemp festival and to the opposite side of the social spectrum, a pro gun rally.  I was unfortunate enough to end up being stopped right in the middle of it…  Essentially a furious collection of the kind of ultra right wing Americans who scare the crap out of other Americans.  For someone who tends to swing more towards the left of American society, it was truly a strange feeling.  For a second you are feeling curious about what the buzz is all about and then after the shock of reading two or three posters settles in, you get that sinking feeling that you have just wandered into the wrong side of town.  It is what I would imagine it feels like to be an albino animal that suddenly realized it walked straight out onto the savanna.  I could feel my body freeze, hoping that at that moment (in the middle of an angry mob) I wouldn’t be recognized as someone from the ‘enemy camp’.


    protestsign21.jpgThe dominant positive and negative vibrations of a city do not usually change.  They tend to be incredibly fixed patterns inherent in the people and the place itself.  The dominant positive vibration of the Seattle is still the same (discernment).  But the dominant negative vibration of Seattle (annoyed) is being overtaken by another frequency.  And not for the better I fear.  The exasperation and irritation that is so inherent to the collective is sinking into a shade of futility.  If a person is irritated, it means that they have expectations that are not being met.  The irritation is like a last stand for what someone wants to have happen.  But if that irritation leads to nothing more than just revved engines against a brick wall, at a certain point people give up.  But they give up with a real resentment for the way things are.  Since I was here last, it is a real feeling amongst the people of Seattle that what each individual is wanting is just never going to happen.  This feeling is like the first cobblestone on a road towards depression.  I am wondering if this trend is not just isolated specifically to Seattle, but might be an energetic epidemic that is rippling out across the human collective.  There is a real resentment developing for the way things are.
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    As the frequency of this universe is increasing and consciousness itself is expanding, what is occurring is an energetic cross roads between all opposites.  Darkness and light, conscious and unconscious, love and fear for example.  It is no longer an option at this crossroads to continue on in an un-integrated state.  It is no longer possible to bulldoze our own fear.  It is no longer an option to operate despite our unconsciousness.  This means that the polarization within us will stop us dead in our tracks.  We must face it directly and resolve the ‘split’ within us in order to be able to move forward at all.  For this reason, so many people are feeling more ‘prevented’ and ‘opposed’ than ever.  And because this universe is operated according to the law of mirroring, this internal resistance will reflect in the outside world.  Meaning we will meet with serious opposition outside as well and not be aware that it is a reflection of the internal opposition that exists.  Needless to say, if a person has no awareness of what is happening with this crossroads within the universe, it simply feels like one is stuck and as if forward movement (so as to create what you want) is impossible.  This feels really, really unfair.  It creates a sense of futility and disillusionment with life itself. 


    the-sheaf-pleiadian-lightwork-model-teal-eye-print-store.jpgWhen we are trying to get what we want or when we are trying to heal, any force that opposes our healing or opposes us getting what we want is going to cause us incredible amounts of pain.  What we do when we feel this opposition either internally or externally is that we try to push through it.  We ignore it.  We do not deal with the resistance directly.  Because of this, we actually enhance the resistance because we are in fact resisting our resistance.  We are also wasting lots of energy this way and getting nowhere.  Just like a bad game of tug of war or when two people paddle in two different directions, we end up stuck or spinning in circles or having to put forth so much effort to try to get where we want to go or get what we want that we eventually give up.  If I had one message for the people of Seattle and more than that, one message for the human collective at this time it is: The time has come to directly face and resolve resistance; the internal opposition within you. 


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    I feel really overstrained and frightened.

    Im most of the time a bit confused about how to do all of this internal work in practical ways for resolving the resistance. Thats very frustrating, too!

    That also feels like opposition and efford and i feel very threatened and preshured to do it, otherwise i will be screwed and my life will get even worse and more of the hell it already is and so on... i feel really threatened and preshured by the universe and yes it feels like: whatever we are doing, its just not enough or not right enough... 

    i wish Teal could release more videos on the HOWs, how to do the work, even more than she already has. more practical examples, just more help on how to do it in practical terms and a little hopespending motivational stuff. I feel really overstrained with all of this and sometimes like the biggest failure.

    Her videos are great and informative, but the how is often enough too abstract in my oppinion. 

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    @my-alteregos-and-meYou may have to watch a collection of videos from her before you catch all that you need to understand not that she doesn't try to explain that but that its hard to understand concepts if you don't have the prerequisite information. It takes specific examples to find exactly where you are. Ya know what I mean? Shadow work starts with meditation though. Find the space between your thoughts. Then ask yourself literally anything. See what pops up. Ask if its true. Ask what the first time you felt this was and well you probably know how that works, so releasing resistance is the same type of process. Just as you can not rush healing, you can not resist resistance. So you must find out what you need. You cant force yourself to be okay with something you are not okay with.

     

    Teal this isn't just a Seattle thing. I feel it everywhere I go as well.  I feel  them pulling themselves in so many directions that they can't focus. Waging wars within themselves that they have no hope of winning. They have convinced themselves that we are fighter and while we are very courageous we are mostly here because of love. We got as far as we are because we believed in a cause not because we fought our way here. But the fight would mean nothing without the cause and the cause nothing without the fight. Both live in harmony with each other swinging off of the momentum of this connection and opposition. Owning your resistance is different than resisting it. Knowing what you desire is a completely different vibration from resisting what is stopping your desire. If you focus to much on the problems it can be hard to find solutions.

    People can tell you what they want but if you really wanna get them going  ask them what they don't want

    If they'd fix the perspective they'll find the answers you seek

    Say I prefer

    Rather than I don't want

    Focus on your desire and

    not what holds you from it 

    and watch how the universe responds

    I bet its with the same respect you are giving

     You are the universe after all

    you want to give yourself everything you desire

    you just gotta figure out how you want to do it 

    You're just setting up your preferences

    after that its almost all flow with no ebb

    the ebb is just asking you questions dont get to frustrated 

     

     

     

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    Man, if there is one way to advertise a restaurant, you just did it Miss Swan!

     

    Now it's time for me to deal with my internal opposition...

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    Definitely feeling the resistance! Like trudging through knee deep mud. And with kids, man is it in your face. I am SO grateful to Teal for shedding light in many ways , all the pieces are beginning to fit together and I now have many tools up my sleeve to be more and more whole and authentic. Not so afraid of the dark, Thank you Teal 😺

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    Not sure if it really matters what you tell yourself.  People have different methods but not everything works well for everybody.  After all, we have different DNA and different life experiences.  I just make it known what my likes and dislikes are and move on with my life.  I discovered that my likes and dislikes are rooted in my DNA and I'm not going to force a square peg into a round hole.  Humans try to show up and test those likes and dislikes but I just realize they are just humans trying to influence and kindly excuse myself from their presence.  Over the course of my life, my likes and dislikes might change slightly or maybe not  at all, but it is my business and nobody else's business.    I don't agree with your opinion that we are at an energetic crossroads; we are a constantly evolving species and that is the direction of flow.  My opinion is that there are no crossroads, just change and evolution..  I can believe what I want to believe and you can believe  what you want to believe. That is the essence of life.  There is nothing written that says we are obliged to change each other's mind, and that's not what I would want anyway.

    Edited by hydrophiliaks

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