Each person comes to this life with a unique essence, like an energetic signature.  Our unique purpose and unique thoughts and unique feelings and unique desires and unique needs and unique role within the greater universe is embedded in that essence.  You could picture that essence as a unique pearl that is contained inside of a lotus flower that is tightly closed. Our life experience is a process of unfolding.  In a perfect world that lotus blossom would unfold naturally to reveal the pearl within to the world.  But this is not the world that we live in.  We live in a world where so much of what we encounter within the world is an impediment to this process of unfolding. 

When we come into the world the people around us do not look at us like gifts to nurture so we can unfold so they can see the unique pearl within us.  The people around us look at us as if we are a raw substance to mold into what they think is best for us and for them.  They tell us that certain things are acceptable and if we are those things, we will be loved and safe.  They tell us that certain things are unacceptable and if we are those things, we will be rejected and unsafe.  Anything that remotely resembles something that will meet with disapproval is then something that we feel vulnerable about.  And we begin a process of splitting ourselves.  We put forward only the things about us that make us loved and safe in the world.  The rest we keep hidden.  It is as if we will not let certain lotus petals open and therefore keep the pearl hidden so as to fit into the world, be loved and feel safe. 

This means that our personalities are in essence, manufactured. Our personalities are merely the parts of us that we identified with or developed so as to stay safe and away from vulnerability in the very specific situations that we were raised in.  We suppress, reject, deny and disown the aspects that make us vulnerable or get us disapproved of in the world.  By doing this, they become subconscious.  They are buried outside of our awareness and we don’t know they even exist.

We can only be authentic to the degree that we currently know ourselves.  We can only be authentic to the degree that we are currently aware of ourselves.  And because so much of us is denied, rejected, disowned and suppressed into the subconscious, we are not aware of very much of ourselves.  We are copies of other people.  We are not genuine.  We are not real and we do not reflect what is true at our core.  Our commitment to unfolding usually ends up being something that we have to take charge of and allow to happen in spite of the world.  We end up having to sort through illusion to find what is real about us.  This is so much of what you have been doing in the previous years of your life.   

This universe unfolds itself in coils.  Each loop of the spiral coil can be seen as a cycle.  The year 2019 is the end of one of these loops in a spiral and also therefore the beginning of the next loop…  A ten-year cycle that began in 2009.  In 2009, in each being’s life, a cycle of authenticity began.  The seeds were sewn for a vision that was born at that time; a vision that was in alignment with who you really are and what you really want.  It is coming to a point of crystallization.  That process of crystallization is so much of what last year was about.  It was the year of stability.  This did not mean that we would all simply feel good and feel stable, quite the opposite.  It meant that anything that was unstable would crack and disintegrate until all that remains is what IS stable.  Now that the foundation of what is stable is set, we can really move forward.  We can move forward towards improvement.  We can progress.  We can really come out of the closet. 

2019 is the year of STRIDE.  Stride means a considerable step or stage in progress towards an aim.  It also means to cross an obstacle in one step.  It also means large decisive steps in a specific direction.  All of these definitions fit the frequency of 2019.  In 2019 we will see a second cycle of the liberation of our own unique selves.  To understand this, we can imagine a butterfly.  If the process of becoming a butterfly was looked at in terms of a spiral coil (whose loops are cycles), one process of the butterfly unfolding so as to become its authentic self would be the caterpillar dissolving in the cocoon so as to emerge as a butterfly.  The next stage would be the butterfly taking flight for the first time.  We could say that each phase is a great stride towards the self actualization of the butterfly being what it truly is, which is a butterfly.  2019 is the year for making great strides.  Great strides that are specifically coming from a place of authenticity.  These strides will only be made if you have discovered your personal truth and are therefore taking actions in integrity.

A lack of integrity should be defined as the quality of not adhering to principals communicated to you by your own conscience. And not living in a state of wholeness in and of yourself.  For example, if your conscience tells you that honesty is right for you and you lie, you are demonstrating a lack of integrity.  Two parts of you are split in that moment and you will feel bad as a result of it.  Your internal guidance system will be guiding you in the opposite direction of where you are currently headed.

Some examples of lack of integrity are: Saying you will do something and not doing it.  Telling a lie when the truth is the opposite.  Leading someone to believe that they can trust you and then betraying them. Hiding things about yourself and keeping secrets about yourself so that the aspect of you that other people see is not the real you.  Being two faced.  Self-sacrificing instead of adhering to your true wants and needs.  And changing your stories and opinions in order to bend to public opinion instead of staying steadfast in them.  All of these things have something in common.  In all of them, two parts of you are in opposition.  For example, one part of you says something is right and good and the truth and another part of you adheres to the opposite way of acting anyway.        

We tend to see a lack of integrity when we meet with some kind of crisis.  When stress is put on our system, we have the tendency to crack.  This is why people say you have to wait for a crisis or a bad time to see someone’s true colors.  In order to feel better, people resort to all kinds of behavior that society could consider to be immoral.  For example, it isn’t until we suffer financially that we steal.  It isn’t until we are tortured that we betray someone’s trust.  It isn’t until the truth will get us in trouble that we tell a lie.  It’s not until someone puts pressure on your own authenticity that you decide to cave in and change your stance so others will see you as a good person.

Soundness within yourself and between all the aspects of yourself is the foundation of a strong sense of self.  This is something that cannot be taken from you.  It is only something that can be given away.  Therefore, the reason that a lack of integrity is so damaging to you is that a lack of integrity is a form of self-betrayal.  And it is a guarantee that what you need most in a crisis (to remain strong and intact) will not happen.  The good news is integrity can always be built no mater how compromised it may have been in the past.  The bad news is that 2019 will come with many scenarios where our integrity will be tested. 

Without sugar coating them, when we are ready to really face these curveballs, we can see them as opportunities for us to be in integrity by being completely honest with ourselves and those around us…  Opportunities to act according to our fullest authentic personal truth.  There will be many surprises this year.  There will be many unforeseen, sudden events, circumstances and changes that we cannot even imagine from where we are today.  Some of these good and many of them not so good.  The question is: HOW WILL YOU USE YOUR FREE WILL TO RESPOND?  We will find ourselves at a place where we could polarize as a result of these curveballs.  For example, we could jump on opportunities so fast that if we are not integrated, we may leave parts of ourselves behind or bulldoze them completely in the process of moving forward.  We could meet these challenges and decide that we are going to spiritually bypass or escape or avoid or deny as a result of them.   We could choose to totally lose touch with our free will and sink and close down as a result of them.  We need to use our free will to not allow this polarization to occur within us.  For example, we need to use our free will to make sure that all parts of ourselves are aligned when we take a step forward in a particular direction.  We need to use our free will to acknowledge and face the muck and mire of our lives consciously and by choice instead of avoiding it or believing in our own powerlessness so that we allow it to sink us like quicksand.  I must mention that there is a big difference between choosing to go down a black hole and a black hole sucking you into it.  The difference is free will.  Instead of allowing ourselves to become polarized or even try to achieve balance, we must use our free will to become the highest expression of all polarities.  2019 is calling you to come into the mastery called Free Will.  The tension you experience in your life is calling your attention to the areas of your life where your free will is needed as a necessary agent for progress.     

With all these curveballs as well as the pressure of progress and overall tension of the year, the immune system will be the part of the body most affected by the energies of 2019.  This means it is important this year to really think about what you need in order to maintain stability while you are taking strides.  What does your body need in order to maintain stability?  What type of lifestyle, including the way you eat and sleep and your living environment do you need in order to support your immune system especially?  Pay special attention to your senses when you are considering this.  What nourishes your senses?

Security will come into question in conjunction with this pressure and these curveballs.  A sense of security and the immune system are like a married couple.  How secure are you financially?  How secure are you emotionally?  How secure is your self-concept?  How secure are your relationships?  What is security?  The more clearly you can define security for yourself and actualize it, the stronger you can be in order to move forward.

Economy is also something that will be affected by the energies of this coming year.  The consciousness of mankind will be reevaluating energy exchange in general, and money is a big part of that.  There will be pressure on finances and curveballs relative to finances and potential recessions in finances and changes in our approach to finances.  This is a year to be mindful and real and practical around the security of finances, not to wildly spend.                    

In 2019 you will make strides no matter what.  But if you want to capitalize on these strides and make them the biggest they can be, you need to actualize your free will.  Free will is so much a byproduct of authenticity.  Our free will is decided by what uniquely defines us.  It is defined by our individual desires, our own thoughts, our own feelings, our own needs, our own vision, our own essence.  Purposeful living is the result of acting in alignment with those things.  You need to choose the liberation of your unique self and chose to come out of the closet and chose your direction in order to make strides that are in alignment with your authentic truth.  Do not isolate yourself this year.  Seeking out authentic emotional connection is like finding a doula for your process of birthing your authentic self out onto the world.  It makes progress much easier.

Be mindful as you move into 2019 that it is possible to understand your limitations, which are part of your authentic truth, without being limited.  Because you are meant to blast off!  You are meant to realize no limitations and no boundaries for this vision, which is a manifestation of your unique essence, to come into its full expression.  You are birthing your essence into the physical dimension in the form of a vision.  Great strides will be made in 2019 in the pursuit of this vision.  And you are now at that next level of that vision.  It is time to use your free will to expand your horizons.  2019 is the year where you will be taking the seeds that were sewn in 2009 and that vision that has begun to really crystalize into a whole new phase.  It’s time to take a stride and to take everything in stride!