I officially completed my major garage sale. I made exactly enough to rent the largest U Haul I could find. I am donating everything that did not sell to Habitat for Humanity.
When I was about four years old, I started collecting Breyer horses. Over the course of my childhood and young adulthood, I amassed a collection of over 80 of them. I have been dragging my collection from place to place with me since I moved away from home. This weekend, I decided that I want to find an underprivileged child who is obsessed with horses that I can send my entire collection to. I want someone to love them like I loved them. It makes me sad to keep them in boxes and the reality is, like all things that were a part of my childhood, looking at them evokes the memories of trauma and pain. I do not know how I’m going to find this child yet. But I trust the universe to reveal them to me.
I have only five days left in this house. I am excited for the next phase of my life, but also disoriented. I have thrown myself into the waters of uncertainty yet again. It is the vulnerable feeling of uncertainty that sours us the most. As people, we spend a lot of energy and time trying to reduce our vulnerability. We try to make things good or bad, black or white, right or wrong. We try to make them definite and reliable. It is only when we move into the discomfort of vulnerability that our life becomes meaningful. The vulnerability of uncertainty provides the richness and depth of positive human experiences. The desperate quest for certainty prohibits our ability to allow meaning and purpose to be revealed to us. It is a wall that is impervious to synchronicity. It strips the magic out of life. I feel like by moving, I am following the magic. I feel like I am beginning anew.
To begin anew is to recognize the truth that in the present moment, the past does not exist, and neither does the future. The past and future are not here with you in the present, unless you bring them into this moment with you. Therefore, it is your choice what you bring with you into the present moment. Each moment is in fact an opportunity for a fresh, new beginning. Each moment is an opportunity to begin anew.
Time is a property created by the brain. It is an illusion that does not exist past this physical time-space reality. We disallow the present moment because of the illusion of time and instead of seeing each moment as new, we live our lives nearly entirely from the standpoint of memory or the standpoint of anticipation. Identity arises from the concept of past and the future presents us with the uncertainty of either the promise of “more” or the possibility of “loss”. Because of this, it is easy to see why we hold the illusion of past and future as our object of attention so powerfully and cling to it so desperately the way we do. If a person is to achieve the kind of happiness that is only possible from a standpoint of objective consciousness however, one must learn to see beyond this illusion.
When time is seen as the illusion that it is, it ceases to be precious to us and it ceases to be necessary. What becomes precious is the present moment we are in. Life is not in the past and it is not in the future… it is now. The now is the location of all the power you have ever had and will ever have. All that you are has culminated in the now, all that will be is becoming in the now. The now is all there is.
Each moment is cataloged within the mind and when we draw a line of continuity through all of those moments, we call them “past”, but all of those moments happened in the now… they happened in a past now.
When we imagine moments that might take place in the moments to follow the current moment, we draw a line of continuity from now to then and call those projections of moments to come “future”. All of those projections of future moments will happen in the now…they will happen in a future now.
The objective reality of eternalness which exists far beyond the confines of the subjective truth of time contains a glimpse of an axiom. The axiom is this… Because time does not exist, it is our choice what we become in each moment. We do not have to bring our old selves with us into the now. We do not need to think our happiness exists in the future. All guilt, all sorrow, all fear, and all resentment can be left behind as we begin a new this very instant. All optimism, all freedom, all appreciation and all joy can be experienced in this very instant. The only thing holding us from this is our belief patterns that it cannot be so. Each moment is an opportunity for a new beginning.