• A War Called Belonging

     

     

             Some of us are lucky.

    We see ourselves in the faces that look back at us.

    We are not strangers.

    Some of us are lucky.

    The stars of us belong in constellation.

    We are not strangers.

    Some of us are lucky.

    We feel the warmth of our connection.

    Its comfort is not worn thin by wariness.

    We are not strangers.

    Some of us are not so lucky.

    Our cry is a wolf’s cry in a chorus of bleating.

    We are strangers.

    Some of us are not so lucky.

    We recognize ourselves in people we have never met

    and places we have never been to.

    We are strangers.

    Some of us are not so lucky.

    The pith of connection fails us

    again and again.

    As inconsistent and as short lived as a dream.

    We are strangers.

    We are strangers in this world. 

     

    belonging-quote-5-picture-quote-1.jpgSome of us are lucky.  We feel a sense of belonging.  We are born into families and societies that we feel like we are a part of.  Others of us feel like strangers in our own families and societies.  We do not feel like we are a part of anything.  We feel fundamentally disconnected. 

    Belonging is one of the highest frequency vibrations in this universe.  In fact, we could consider oneness, love and belonging to all be different “tones” of the same color.  But it is not simply that.  It is also a basic human need.  So many of us in the spiritual field believe it is not only possible but also good to transcend human needs.  We use our spiritual practice to work against our own biology instead of with it.  But it is not possible to un-need something that you need.  It is only possible to meet that need in a different way.  We need to feel as if we belong in order to feel ourselves to be connected with anything in our lives instead of completely alone.  We are social creatures.  Human beings that are isolated die in a similar way that a plant dies if it is not given water.  But the sad thing is, without a sense of connection and belonging, a person will die even if they are surrounded by other people. 

    To belong is to be a part of something.  But true belonging is to be so much a part of something that you can’t not be a part of it, even if you wanted to.  For example, to belong to a club you simply have to be a member of that club.  But that is not true belonging because you can decide not to be a member of the club and then, you don’t belong to the club anymore.  With true belonging, it doesn’t matter if you leave or if you don’t want to be a part of it anymore, you are.  The best explanation I can give you is to see that you are a human.  It doesn’t matter if you don’t want to be a human, you are.  You belong to the human race and the only way out of that belonging is death.

    In true belonging, you are held and contained by something.  It is the most positive expression of ownership in existence.  In this kind of ownership, all parts are indivisible from the whole so you cannot do harm to a part without harming the whole. For example, if someone belongs to you and with you, you take them as part of yourself and so you cannot hurt them without hurting yourself.  This is the complete opposite of the form of ownership where something doesn’t belong to you, you simply possess it and so you can harm it without perceiving any harm to yourself because you don’t see it as part of yourself. 

    To love something is to take something as part of yourself.  It is therefore obvious that belonging and love go hand in hand.  If you take something as part of yourself, it belongs to you.  One of the problems on the planet is that we get into relationships that are absent of belonging.  Our relationships are entirely conditional.  We don’t ever take the other person in as part of ourselves and so we cannot consider their best interests as a part of our own best interests.  We exclude them from us.

    I have decided to do an Ask Teal episode on belonging.  I find it both amusing and incredibly sad that people join spiritual communities that teach members to transcend their highly attached need for belonging, specifically because they get belonging in those very communities.  It is painful for me to watch people look so desperately for belonging because they are starved for it. 

    sexy light teal.jpgI am no exception.  I had no sense of belonging growing up.  It is my most unmet need even now.  I couldn’t find anywhere to fit in.  Eventually, I had to just start broadcasting myself so that people who I might be able to belong with could follow the beacon of my voice and find me.  I created Teal Tribe, which I’ve affectionately been referring to as the island of misfit toys.  It was my thinking that perhaps people who don’t fit anywhere, might just fit in with one another. What I have created for people is a sense of belonging.  The sense of belonging with each other that they were missing in their lives.  And then we had some problems.

    Conflict is inevitable in this life where we have separate embodiments and perspectives.  Spiritual teachers like myself are no exception.  Except the problem is that besides not fitting in anywhere, Teal Tribers had one thing in common… me.  So what happened when someone in Teal Tribe decided they were in conflict with me?  Suddenly their sense of belonging was at risk.  When they would post something abusive or slanderous in the public forum, the moderators would warn them and then if they did not resolve the issue, bar them from the forum.  The consequence was that they felt separated and isolated again. 

    If someone is in this position, they have only one choice.  Resolve the conflict with me (something that is impossible for most people because I am a public figure who is largely inaccessible).  Or find belonging again… but this time with the other people who are in conflict with me.  It is terrifying emotionally to know that the consequence of having unresolved conflict with anyone in my life is that tomorrow; I could see them in the forums belonging to my hate groups.  It is terrifying to consider a person a friend one day and the next day see them posting messages organizing other people to collectively take me down.  It is terrifying to know that because they still want belonging, their method is going to be to turn anyone they can against me when they go.   

    The reality I have come to see is that one of the main reasons my hate groups are so incredibly strong and vicious is because they offer belonging to those that have fallen out of belonging with Teal Tribe.  I am a match to people who desperately need and want belonging.  This doesn’t change when they feel they no longer belong with me.  They still need and want it just as much.  But now, their sense of belonging is dependent upon being against me instead of with me.  So the way they get a sense of belonging and connection is through the similarity of their hatred of me.  The stronger their hatred becomes collectively, the greater their sense of belonging.  Now, the war that has been waged is a war called belonging. 

    Today, I am looking out the window realizing that they are not aware of the dangers of this state of starvation.  They are not aware of what exactly they are getting out of ‘being a part of’ these Anti-Teal groups.  They are not aware that belonging and validation is the reason they feel so much relief when they find other people who agree that I am horrible.  Today I am realizing that I cannot argue with the need beneath the way they have banded together to defeat me.  Their need is my greatest need as well.  Today, I don’t have an amazing speech to share with you about belonging.  I have no words of wisdom.  I have no action I wish to take or  that I wish for you to take.  Today I want nothing more than to make you aware of the need we all share… The need for belonging.    

    i-wish-belong-blog.jpg                    


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    Interesting read until the haters were brought up. Do everyone a favour, let the haters be haters, and focus on the actual substance.

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    Great insight! Well explained and gives understanding about hate groups, can relate also to other hate groups around the world not only anti Teal's. 

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    A Tictacnic passenger belonging to 3rd class once asked the captain about any justice issues he was aware of, but mentioned just-ice-eating problems and too much spice for his vice, not very importantly the 2nd class off-broadway comedy-show tonight was just banned because the ships 1st class ice-protecting grey-whale was not working as planned ... 

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    I'm curious as to what it took for someone considering themselves a part of teal tribe to suddenly go as far as a hate group. Maybe you can share a little bit of that next time so we can understand both sides.

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    Dear Teal,

    Thank you for writing about this issue.
    I agree that belonging, love and connection are basic needs for human beings and I feel very much as you described as a "stranger in this world"...I always have felt it... 

    I was part of Teal Tribe group and I enjoyed very much the interaction you had with the group (the challenges and games, the insights and the frequent direct answers to tribers' questions, worries or sharing of ideas) and most of the posts people shared there, I  must admit it didn't felt right or fair to be banned from the group many months ago (I was banned without previous warning for posting about cow's milk - without graphic images - with a quote from one of your own texts, describing the suffer of the mother cow!)
    However, I never thought of joining the haters' groups!
    When I was banned I felt an outcast during a few days, but I kept following everything you so generously share in your FB page, in other groups, on your website and on Youtube. And I hope someday I will be admitted to TT again.
    And of course I have many interests and I follow other groups and foruns were I feel a sense of belonging.

    I believe that if people really know your life story (watching your interviews  to TV channels, reading your bio and your books), are truly following your teachings (videos, blog, articles, interviews, workshops, books, paintings, et cetera), and if they share the vision you have for a New Earth (I share all your ideas about the new paradigm) it would be impossible for them to join the haters...but it is their choice...You have no blame in it.
     

    Much Love and Gratitude <3 :5761df41047f1_EmojiNatur-69:<3 

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    I am glad you've been put in the public eye so that I could find you (someone I feel belonging with) but the con of being in such wide view is that now there are so many of us who feel this way which makes it damn near impossible to have the closeness that is inherent in belonging. Online is not the same as real life. Having this half-hearted belonging with you just dangling out of reach is torturously frustrating because it's there like a false sense of belonging, not tangibly close enough or real enough. I need 3D belonging with you TEal! 

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    I think Teal you are going wrong here. U are missing the point. If you are right and u know it deep inside, u will not justify and ur constant need to justify urselves speaks volumes abt ur fragmented mind. 

                              A "WHOLE MIND" does not have need to justify itself for it's action.

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    Dear Teal,

    Jesus had hate groups.

    Buddha had hate groups.

    It is only natural.

    If law of resistance is still helping, your blogs creates a sense of belonging for many.

    You are not able to see us but we feel you.

    Some expresses and some do not.

    But support is there. Think of us, the supporters and no need to concerntrate too too much on the other group.

    I pray you have someone in your life to offer you that support.

    During "peeling" process, it is always painful and uneasy for me.

    Thank you!

    --- Support ---

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    Dear Teal, you just described the Terrorists reason for what they are doing in the name of Islam. How insightful.
    You did ask Tealers if they could think of ways to include those who Post hateful and inflammatory remarks on the Forum. I ask it now again for those who may have some insight or comment:

    How can Teal's moderators deal with people who Post inflammatory comments or attack others for no seeming reason?

    The idea is not to dis-clude them but still let them know there are other ways to comment rather than create the disassociation. 
    Anyone?

    My view is somewhat different - I see them as a mirror of reality. Nothing wrong with comments that can make you think. It's a human reaction to be offended. Compassion and thoughtfulness, seems lacking in these people - how do you include someone who goes to great lengths to be dis-included...? 

    crystal Rob

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    Dear Teal

    You are more than your words. You are more than your wisdom. You are more than your actions. You are more than your honesty. You are more than your belonging.

    You are a gifted human with more love and light to share than some people can accept.

    Let others keep their resistance to change and stay consumed in ignorance with your blessings.

    Whilst your door of truth remains wide open.  

    I'm so happy I have found you and can see many people feeling the same way.

    This door leads straight to your heart and it changes everyone's life for the better and these better life's are your strength and your purpose and your fulfillment so know it, embrace it and thrive because you are wonderful.

    Through your amazingly brilliant  work we are all inspired to give more love and share your universal teachings. Love Mark x 

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    Okay, this is a really stupid comment, but I just woke up and I had a dream about you and Ale. I haven't even read the blog entry yet, I just went to this site to see if there was a new blog entry that I could comment on like a maniac, and there actually was.

    I don't wanna be a dark Nostradamus type of person, and I consider myself to be more on the rational side of spirituality. But just 5 min ago I had a dream of you and Ale going to some kind of event. In the dream I watched the video about the event, after it happened. There were two of your haters, dressed up "as hippies" to "fit in". And they shot Ale. God I hate writing this and it's probably stupid as I know dreams are of the subconcious, but this was just so weird. I've never believed that your hate groups are actually dangerous, I think they're doing what is right in their mind. And this was just so random, and even though the most important thing about dreams are the emotions you're having, the emotions that can come to surface during dreams because when awake, they're surpressed, this dream was weirdly emotionless.

    It was more like a reportage and after it told me what had happened, I woke up right away (ca 9:45 am here). And to make this clear, I'm not an obsessed stalker that dreams about you all the time. Anyways.

    In the dream Ale died and he fell, and you fell with him, because you were in shock, and the crowd freaked. It's it so horrible because Ale looked so goddamn innocent. All happened outdoors, as you were walking down a hill. And it made you cancel all your planned workshops. Anyways, again, not trying to be dark or a Nostradamus tryhard. It was just all so weird and when I woke up, I was actually so scared. All I wanna say is, and I never thought I'd say this: Please be careful. Of haters. Or other things. Please take care of your security, please don't hesitate to conduct all secutiry measuremts possible. AGAIN, I do not wanna be scary, I don't think I'm a prophet, I don't think anything like this is gonna happen just because someone dreamed it. But when it comes to security and awareness, being cautious can't be a bad thing. I'm sorry if this just sound silly to you but I just had the strong urge to tell, just to make sure. I actually had other things goung on in my mind and have no idea where this was coming from. 

     

    EDIT: Just read the blog entry. When I wrote this comment I thought, I bet this blog entry is coincidentally about haters, and it is.

    Edited by Ptolemy

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    The divinity in me acknowledges and appreciates the divinity in you. Thank you for your personal perspectives and insights on the idea of belongingness. I accept you however you feel the need to show up, and I wish you continued peace and closure on this matter. :) <3 

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    I appreciate your need to always be honest with us and see things in a bigger perspective but, of course, it still hurts. When others say Ignoring them or "stop being insecure",  They don't have your haters so how would they understand?  I hope that your following gets so big that their voices are drowned out and they began to question what they are doing.  I have felt more whole listening to you than I have my entire life! Thank You !!Thank You!!!

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    Thank you Teal. Thank you for always being authentic, thank you for being true and thank you for helping me realize aspects of myself. I hope that one day we can meet. I hope one day I can tell you in person "thank you". For everything. 

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    I cannot wait for the Ask Teal about this because I know when it's up it'll be exactly what I need to hear. I'm finding that the sense of belonging is like a wave: sometimes it's so present and rushing in all around you and then other times it feels like a drought that will never end. We're all going through the same crap it seems; whether we want to face it or not. But that's why I gravitate to your work: because you're honest about everything even if it hurts or if someone else might disagree. 💛

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