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A Very Real Risk

 An empty canvass sits on an easel in front of the window with an expanse of tropical landscape behind it.  The paints are neatly arranged next to it; the paintbrushes dry and waiting.  I want to paint on it.  I can feel the pressure of art yet to be expressed inside me.  Over the last few months, it has felt like these creations paintings-316440_640.jpgwaiting to be born are on backorder.  


aircraft-1555434_640.jpgA close friend of mine has a saying… Starting a business is like making a plane take off of the runway.  Everyone involved has to put everything they have into it and in the beginning it is tense and sometimes rocky and then after a bit it stabilizes.
philia sign.jpgThis retreat center (though it ties in with my mission and current business perfectly) is in reality, a brand new business.  Since the second we decided to go ahead with it, it has taken every last drop of sweat, every breath and every minute for every person involved.  None of us have been able to focus on our respective role within the organization because of everything we have had to get done.  Instead of fulfill my usual role, I have had to sort out details with design and direct contractors and workers and shop for necessities and haul things in pick up trucks.  At this point everyone on the team feels guilty for having ever been upset at the price any of us ever had to pay for a hotel or any other hospitality service (having seen what goes into the back end of a retreat).  It is a crazy amount of work and the minute something goes right, something else goes wrong.  The kind of pressure we are all under has made the team's collective shadows and wounds surface.  On top of that, the intensely shamanic nature of this property itself is a catalyst.    

teal philia river.jpgTo add to it all, there are people around the world who are so vehemently opposed to my career ( actually mostly to me as a person), that they have decided to dedicate themselves to trying to destroy this retreat center.  The minute that we announced Philia, they began planning how to try to shut it down.  This began with them collectively contacting the FBI and the local police.  Now their efforts are aimed at attending so as to sabotage it from the inside.  They have been targeting both attendees and teachers of the retreat.  We had one teacher resign from doing a retreat here because of the amount of Anti-Teal 'Danger' propaganda sent to her when she announced that she was working with me.  The teacher of the current retreat and many of the prospective attendees have confessed that they too felt deeply insecure coming here because of it.  Essentially, the principal strategy of those who oppose me is to “befriend” people associated with me and then turn them against me.

It has been a frustration being told by some that I should just ignore it all (which can’t happen if they are taking tangible steps).  And on the other hand being told by others that they need my help and a direct response to it all.  As sad as it makes me to say, the reality is that conflict and controversy now surrounds me. 

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customer-563967_640.jpgNow, I am at a point where I literally have to warn people publicly (like I am doing in this blog) that because of the intense dedication of these individuals that have decided they hate me and then banded together to form an Anti Teal group, that people who demonstrate association or alliance with me should expect that they are going to be targeted for conversion by these people. 

I am now facing several issues because of their strategy.  Primarily the fact that this hate group has done such a good job with their fear propaganda and slander that people’s moms and dads and brothers and sisters and friends are getting scared about me and then trying to turn the people they love away from me.  It’s WAY harder to brush off the concerns of a passionate hater than the concerns of someone in your life that you love and whose opinion and connection you care about.  Second, many people do not want to stick their necks out in support of me and be 'shot at' by this hate group too (condemned by association).  Third, even more people than that, are merely conflict avoidant and simply do not want to be involved in the heat and pressure of controversy. 

I feel more like a revolutionary than a spiritual teacher when I see people polarizing around me so dramatically either FOR or AGAINST me as a person.  And to add insult to injury, the shadow aspect of the spiritual field has reared its head in the form of messages from people saying that the reason they are pulling away from me is because they believe in the law of attraction.  And therefore, if I “attract” so much hate and controversy, it must mean something about me as a person.  When they say things like this, I wonder how people can hold such a double standard.  They say that the level of controversy surrounding me is indicative of some dark shadow within me.  And yet, they revere characters like Jesus, Ghandi, Martin Luther King and Joan of Arc.  History has shown us that controversy is not always indicative of people being evil, but people being change.  Many of the biggest game changers on earth end up dead as a result of circumstances like I find myself in today.  As history has shown over and over again, the person who wants to stand up the loudest for change, takes the highest risk and is often the one who suffers the consequences of taking that risk.                            

hustle-and-bustle-1738072_640.jpgThe pressure I am under now is the very reason that people choose to stay small.  I am acutely aware that it is much safer socially to do so.  That is sad to me.  This is what people are trying to avoid by holding themselves back.  The reality is that launching anything in the hopes of success, just like you do when you push the throttle on a plane to launch it into the air, is a risk.  It is a risk that you’ll never be ready for.  And so, rather than provide any solution today, I would like to end this blog by inviting you to ask yourself the question… What am I afraid of that is currently making me hold myself back?  By taking a risk to ‘really go for it’, whatever that may be, what is it that I risk?


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Trust in the decision you made to live an honest, open, and authentic life. Know that where you are, you are protected and surrounded by love. You are a catalyst for change and fear of death is fear of change. These individuals do not know themselves and so associate who they are with what they believe themselves to be, forgive them for they know not what they do. Reconcile it within yourself and realize that it does not matter what they do but what you do that matters most. They have no more control over you than you do them and those that have bailed out of fear do not trust themselves. Keep going Teal do not stop, take each moment as it comes and know that the solution is always at hand. I am with you, I do not stand for you or against you, indeed I am you and I love you dearly. Find your footing, find your rhythm, and dance with abandon. Allow the pure joy of delivering your dream into reality to fill you to overflowing and meet each challenge with the resolve that you have already won, you are simply going through the motions.

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I am with you! You truly inspire me to step out, be courageous and BE myself. Thank you for everything you do. Hang in there and keep shining your beautiful light. The evidence of your light and your skills is in your creative expressions. and the way you share your soul so fully and unashamedly ..time and time again you are able to produce inspiring, uplifting, supportive  and unique content. I know you can't ignore your haters, but know you are loved too.

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Oh Teal. Exhaustion is understandable...And it sucks! If I had a passport and plane fare, I'd be right there...Doing whatever needs done that I am capable of doing. I must agree that those who are swayed by these "haters", are being weeded from your field. Only those that have a motivation aligned with love, such as your own, and are vibrating harmoniously with what you're trying to build are coming through the "static". Bullshit, is what it is. Though I can see that it's cumbersome dealing with the fallout from their antics, truth will be truth.

Edited by Epiphany
Autocorrect

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"When the heart is innocent and the walls have disappeared, you are bridged with infinity. And you are not deceived; there is nothing that can be taken away from you. That which can be taken away from you is not worth keeping, and that which cannot be taken away from you, why should one be afraid of its being taken away? - It cannot be taken away, there is no possibility. You cannot lose your real treasure".   -Osho

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I appreciate what you do <3 i understand that you feel pressure, i just hope you feel love and support also, you have so much people who love you and love what you do

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Teal, the fact that people are trying to shut down your retreat center, a business you are just starting, as a fellow female, completely pisses me off.  Why is a beautiful, intelligent woman not allowed to be successful?  Is this some anomaly that people can't get past?  I don't get it.  This reminds me of that Christina Aguilera song--"Stronger."  You will RISE.  I send you THE BEST OF LUCK, and after seeing all the haters with my own eyes, through all the blogs, youtube comments, etc, if I had the money I would definitely WOULD come down and support your business.  Screw these haters!  I'm deeply offended by all the hate you get.  I think a lot of it is deeply ingrained societal sexism, quite frankly.  You clearly are intelligent, wise, and deserving of any acclaim you get, regardless of the fact that I don't consider myself a spiritual person in the least, I do think you are incredibly logical, helpful, and a fantastic resource on human psychology.  Screw these mentally unstable people who are attacking you, screw the system--you WILL rise.  Those worthy will stand by your side.  Those who are not will fall by the wayside and be easily swayed BECAUSE they were never a true friend to begin with.  The people you can trust are always there.  Take care!!!

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Teal--I don't know you well and have only met you once at your wedding which I attended with my beautiful wife Diana.  You and Ale are more genuine, more caring, and more accepting than almost anyone that is in my life on a daily basis.  You will ALWAYS have my support, and I can't wait until the day we have saved up enough money to come and stay in your beautiful retreat.  Namaste, Rob  p...s...  the hate groups you talk about are just jealous that they can't walk in your shoes, and anyone with half a backbone should just laugh and tell them to bugger off!

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it sounds like there must be something illegal that they are doing sabotage or defamation of character or something along those lines- i hope you have hired a lawyer a whole legal team.  this is not okay

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Hey Teal, I know what you're going through must be hard. World change takes incredible risk, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually it exhausts you. I wish I could do with you right now what you do with everyone else, bringing the awareness to their blocks for them to move through and gain insight. I've seen how you work, and it is of incredible value to the world but indeed risky. You have all the right ideas, but some people just aren't in the mental space to understand some of the very complex teachings you have to share, so naturally they are retaliating in fear. They are living in their egos (no negative connotation implied) instead of with them, so they believe in it fears. I've gone into these various negative perspectives to see if I could understand where their coming from... it's mostly just people reading malicious intent where it is not. Projections and mental constructs. Go into your blue, the mist... you don't always have to be so strong. Just let yourself renew for a bit, love. Heroes need their rest for the endgame. Hugs, and I hope you received this message on the emotional level. <3 I stand with you, and I'm not afraid of it's repercussions.

From the Traveling Sky.

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Edited by WeatheredNightSky

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Dear Teal Swan,

It really upsets me that you have this groups harassing you like this. I wish God provides you with protection and love so that you may arrive to your destination.

Thank you Teal for inspiring and uplifting many people the way you are doing. You are bringing the world to a better place. And I am happy that I have you as a friend. It is a miracle we have great spiritual teaches with integrity like you.

Cheers,

Gerardo Morillo

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Reading this has helped me feel less alone because now I know that I am not the only one going through a crisis right now. Thank you for that.

I never bought into what your hate groups had to say because their energy felt so ugly to me that I couldn't even watch their videos. It reminded me of being bullied and ostracized as a child for being too different.

I am absolutely petrified of being hurt by people. 

I love and support you always, Teal. Good Luck.

 

 

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I am afraid people will see me as I am. Unprepared, unorganized. A mess. Not perfect. I risk feeling inadequate. I risk not being good enough for what lies ahead. I risk having feelings of insecurity and doubt. I risk the consequences of not being prepared because I was not motivated to prepare, although I must go on and continue to live, no matter how I feel. I risk being seen in my vulnerability.

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"What am I afraid of that is currently making me hold myself back" - Realizing the proof that I really am worth nothing and have nothing worthwhile to share and contribute.

"By taking a risk to 'really go for it', whatever that may be, what is it that I risk?" - Exposure. Exposure as a worthless failure, being ridiculed and set aside. Making me end up all alone, rejected and slighted.

For what it's worth, you're helping me, like you do So Many people, and because of this, of what it implies (telling your truth as it is), you're getting all this backlash from the blind and mislead - I'm sorry for that, I'm sorry that you have to go through that. And Thank You. For what it's worth, thank you for putting yourself through this for all of us.

Love you

Ana

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