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A Very Real Risk

 An empty canvass sits on an easel in front of the window with an expanse of tropical landscape behind it.  The paints are neatly arranged next to it; the paintbrushes dry and waiting.  I want to paint on it.  I can feel the pressure of art yet to be expressed inside me.  Over the last few months, it has felt like these creations paintings-316440_640.jpgwaiting to be born are on backorder.  


aircraft-1555434_640.jpgA close friend of mine has a saying… Starting a business is like making a plane take off of the runway.  Everyone involved has to put everything they have into it and in the beginning it is tense and sometimes rocky and then after a bit it stabilizes.
philia sign.jpgThis retreat center (though it ties in with my mission and current business perfectly) is in reality, a brand new business.  Since the second we decided to go ahead with it, it has taken every last drop of sweat, every breath and every minute for every person involved.  None of us have been able to focus on our respective role within the organization because of everything we have had to get done.  Instead of fulfill my usual role, I have had to sort out details with design and direct contractors and workers and shop for necessities and haul things in pick up trucks.  At this point everyone on the team feels guilty for having ever been upset at the price any of us ever had to pay for a hotel or any other hospitality service (having seen what goes into the back end of a retreat).  It is a crazy amount of work and the minute something goes right, something else goes wrong.  The kind of pressure we are all under has made the team's collective shadows and wounds surface.  On top of that, the intensely shamanic nature of this property itself is a catalyst.    

teal philia river.jpgTo add to it all, there are people around the world who are so vehemently opposed to my career ( actually mostly to me as a person), that they have decided to dedicate themselves to trying to destroy this retreat center.  The minute that we announced Philia, they began planning how to try to shut it down.  This began with them collectively contacting the FBI and the local police.  Now their efforts are aimed at attending so as to sabotage it from the inside.  They have been targeting both attendees and teachers of the retreat.  We had one teacher resign from doing a retreat here because of the amount of Anti-Teal 'Danger' propaganda sent to her when she announced that she was working with me.  The teacher of the current retreat and many of the prospective attendees have confessed that they too felt deeply insecure coming here because of it.  Essentially, the principal strategy of those who oppose me is to “befriend” people associated with me and then turn them against me.

It has been a frustration being told by some that I should just ignore it all (which can’t happen if they are taking tangible steps).  And on the other hand being told by others that they need my help and a direct response to it all.  As sad as it makes me to say, the reality is that conflict and controversy now surrounds me. 

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customer-563967_640.jpgNow, I am at a point where I literally have to warn people publicly (like I am doing in this blog) that because of the intense dedication of these individuals that have decided they hate me and then banded together to form an Anti Teal group, that people who demonstrate association or alliance with me should expect that they are going to be targeted for conversion by these people. 

I am now facing several issues because of their strategy.  Primarily the fact that this hate group has done such a good job with their fear propaganda and slander that people’s moms and dads and brothers and sisters and friends are getting scared about me and then trying to turn the people they love away from me.  It’s WAY harder to brush off the concerns of a passionate hater than the concerns of someone in your life that you love and whose opinion and connection you care about.  Second, many people do not want to stick their necks out in support of me and be 'shot at' by this hate group too (condemned by association).  Third, even more people than that, are merely conflict avoidant and simply do not want to be involved in the heat and pressure of controversy. 

I feel more like a revolutionary than a spiritual teacher when I see people polarizing around me so dramatically either FOR or AGAINST me as a person.  And to add insult to injury, the shadow aspect of the spiritual field has reared its head in the form of messages from people saying that the reason they are pulling away from me is because they believe in the law of attraction.  And therefore, if I “attract” so much hate and controversy, it must mean something about me as a person.  When they say things like this, I wonder how people can hold such a double standard.  They say that the level of controversy surrounding me is indicative of some dark shadow within me.  And yet, they revere characters like Jesus, Ghandi, Martin Luther King and Joan of Arc.  History has shown us that controversy is not always indicative of people being evil, but people being change.  Many of the biggest game changers on earth end up dead as a result of circumstances like I find myself in today.  As history has shown over and over again, the person who wants to stand up the loudest for change, takes the highest risk and is often the one who suffers the consequences of taking that risk.                            

hustle-and-bustle-1738072_640.jpgThe pressure I am under now is the very reason that people choose to stay small.  I am acutely aware that it is much safer socially to do so.  That is sad to me.  This is what people are trying to avoid by holding themselves back.  The reality is that launching anything in the hopes of success, just like you do when you push the throttle on a plane to launch it into the air, is a risk.  It is a risk that you’ll never be ready for.  And so, rather than provide any solution today, I would like to end this blog by inviting you to ask yourself the question… What am I afraid of that is currently making me hold myself back?  By taking a risk to ‘really go for it’, whatever that may be, what is it that I risk?


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Damn girl! Fuck the bastards!  Don't ever give in!  I have been a seeker of Truth for many, many years.  Lifelong student of metaphysics.  Had many exceptional off world Teachers.  You are the real deal!  We are so lucky that you are here and doing what you are doing.  Your teaching resonates deep within.  The clarity of your teaching is impeccable.  I love your brashness, your directness.  Fuck the ignorant coward bastards!  

Much love for you girl!

Edited by BEnergy

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It’s kind of like when children have been neglected or abandoned for so long, when they see light, they reject it, stomp on it, because they feel the light abandoned them. They’re scared of what the light means. They’re scared of what they have to face in that light. They’re scared of themselves, of believing in something strongly and then realizing that hope of happiness was all wrong. That all there is is shadow. I know because suffering used to me my security blanket, and the thing I could always rely on. With the law of attraction I think it’s not necessarily about attracting this hate, so there must be something wrong with you. I think with healing, and especially global healing, there will always be a detox. Light brings people’s shadows into awareness I think :) But with Teal whom I have so much love for, I think that to the extent that it bothers you Teal means that there are still wounds regarding you being ‘bad’ and I wish there was an army of people who would put their lives on the line to spread your message and support you because hearing that there are people trying to hurt you hurts me :( Love you Teal! <3 You have my loyalty!

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Dear Teal,

I know a little bit about haters and those who lie and defend lies. They get very scared of honest people. Their defence mechanism can make them very aggressive and abusive. I  very much prefer people to be honest and try to be inlightened (about the truths of our world and time, at least)  

What can I do (as one, or a part of a collective) to help? I want to help. 

I'm with you. Sending good thoughts and vibrations to the best of my ability. 

Vala 

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On 2017-01-03 at 2:09 PM, Redbird said:

Hang in there, Teal. You know you're on the right path when people are freaking out around you (or something like that?) You have a mission and you know it; don't let them stop you. You have support from me and lots of others. We believe in your mission to bring light to the dark. Much love and light to you.

 

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All this is so my situation in the little community I'm in now that I feel like packing and leaving. I know how odd how strange how unfair it all seems, having to deal with so much pressure on a daily basis... For just being oneself, in the better free version...for standing up for what we believe in. For me it's been years. I feel exhausted to the core but... Teal, if you manage I have the faith that I will manage to stay true too. Whatever that means. Don't give up. You always find solutions, and if you manage this one, maybe the solution will reverberate to millions in my situation and something will change underneath. I actually see you in my mind right now trying to deliver a baby. May we succeed

Edited by Li'shandra

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Dear Teal,

I hope you read this (you probably won't). 

But I want to ask you - HOW CAN WE HELP? WHAT DO YOU NEED FROM YOUR STRONG SUPPORTERS?

Right now, I can offer you love, empathy, understanding, appreciation.

I'm sorry that you are experiencing such a lack of empathy and understanding from others. 

I offer no advice - just my solidarity. 

 

 

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"Inner Grandmother Work"

Welcome to the understanding, that this is a process! The Retreat Center is not as important as the making of it, the growing of it, the vision and the weaving of a group.

Just enjoy the ride, a perfect testing ground to be using all your teachings, all at the same time (yes, you will probably feel the universe's huge giggling) ...

Never mind the outcome ... the Center needs to grow in whichever way the community can grow it. 

The outcome is: "The learning of the process ... "

Your situation seems to have offered itself as perfect reflection of global challenges, thus you are facing this.

And ... for support and perspective:

Just allow your future grandmother self to view yourself in your current situation.

Our inner grandmother, grandfather is a great tool of perspective, a view from the future, from the angle of wisdom and love.

 

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I'm sorry to hear about the hate directed at you.  I just discovered you recently and I feel like your knowledge is helping me tremendously and I am so drawn to you and I love you!  I would love to be able to attend the retreat in Costa Rica one day. I do relate to this blog as many times I feel like everyone is against me and I have stayed quiet about truths I discovered since my spiritual awakening began because of the ridicule and judgement that gets placed on me. 

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I don't remember when was the first time I discovered your Youtube channel, Teal. But it does make me feel nostalgic... :)
Since then, you've became... important. You certainly have your place in my life. Whenever I feel troubled, your way of communicating spiritual guidance never fails to comfort my heart...

Today, I watched your video about the throat chakra. I was born with a condition called "social communication disorder" and am therefore very confused about that matter... especially lately, I had a sensation of oppression in my throat that plagued my life.

Now, I feel even more... that you are someone important to me.

You mean much to me. 

I don't know how to say it but... I simply love you. You are like a spiritual friend to me.... and a great one at that.

Sorry, I feel very much awkward about expressing this type of ... feeling. It's like I can only express the tip of the iceberg (maybe because I'm too shy to show how deep it is submerged in the ocean XD)

:) <3

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I don't need to personally know you to already see the peace you bring to people's lives. That being said, embrace that bullshit! Call the paparazzi! It's still attention and media exposure, let them show people how ridiculous they behave. Let them be the source of ridicule. Also, think of it as cleaning your slate and allowing room for stronger people to stand by your side and support you. If you build it, they will come and you built it, so they're coming!  You got this! 

 

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We need you, Teal. Stay focused and listen to your own message. I have never felt more awake and aware. Thank you for showing all of us the way.

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i love u teal.. ur work has  helped a lot and i'm really grateful.. i hope that u will find the peace  u need.. thank u for ur courage. 

i love u teal.. ur work has helped me a lot and i'm really grateful.. thank u so much for ur courage.

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I cannot begin to imagine what is like to be between such fires coming from all sides at the same time! For me even being in a conflict between two people is sometimes too much, so the level of pressure you are experiencing must be quite overwhelming!

However, do know that by doing that you are inspiring many people (including me) to do the same, to do the right thing, to stand for our own values and beliefs. Also, by continuing to be there,  you are modelling what is like to face the opposition but NOT to become like them. 

I hope the opposition (the haters) will realize that it is their own shadow and realize that what they see in you is what they have in them selves and that they need to heal that part.

Also, I guess they don't realize that by investing so much energy in campaign against you they are drawing more and more attention to you and I guess even the people who never heard about you before might take interest in you just because you are seen as so controversial and who knows - maybe it will draw attention of someone invaluable to help you, your cause and career.

The polarization of people who follow you and then go to the opposite side is probably part of their own purification process, I guess they don't have capacity to understand your teachings fully and they go with the superficial value and then they are later disappointed because every living human has their flaws. I think it is this immature need for idealization and perfection and inability to accept humanness of humans, also inability to accept their own imperfections...

Anyways - I hope you will find a way to continue to be here and I hope that the haters will find something more valuable to do with their time. I am with you.

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I hope you read this Teal. It strikes me how confusing it is when fierce resistance shows up and we cant see how we could've attracted it into our experience. And worse yet when our enemies (a growing entity) points out that what we are attracting must be indicative of who we are. It has always been confusing to me - when I am doing so much good why would the Universe let so much resistance get in my way?

As I read this blog post again it hits me - from an introspective point of view it must be an indication of how much resistance we have to the inner growth taking place.  I always love to talk about my struggles after the fact - but during seems always to be total confusion to some degree. 

From my perspective your situation is an indication of the freedom you are reaching for and the number of minds you are infecting with your Utopian dreams - and the current paradigm is strongly reacting so it seems good that you are causing such a panic..xD.   

Think of the irony of our struggle for acceptance causing us to go deeper and there finding more depth of self - which in-turn manifests as stronger self awareness - which inevitably will attract more resistance,.?.!.... Until at some point we graduate to a completely new question.

I can just barely imagine myself in a place as vulnerable as you currently are (for me there is a sense of near panic which seems insurmountable) but you Teal inspire me to do what you are doing.

I find my unfolding transparency to be the high that i have always been after. All i really want to do is share my innocence with the others. I long for a world where everyone is transparent and loving, where we share our innocent adorable honest truth together. When we look back from there every struggle will seem small in comparison with the world we birthed. To be here now as our naive innocent beautiful truth in a world so hostile to honesty is something heroic i think. It feels like we have an opening for heroic action and the drive to do it, in fact, it feels better facing our fear right now than not. Procrastination now brings on anxiety i can not manage. We are not going to Mars, we are going to a higher dimension I believe.     

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