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A Very Real Risk

 An empty canvass sits on an easel in front of the window with an expanse of tropical landscape behind it.  The paints are neatly arranged next to it; the paintbrushes dry and waiting.  I want to paint on it.  I can feel the pressure of art yet to be expressed inside me.  Over the last few months, it has felt like these creations paintings-316440_640.jpgwaiting to be born are on backorder.  

aircraft-1555434_640.jpgA close friend of mine has a saying… Starting a business is like making a plane take off of the runway.  Everyone involved has to put everything they have into it and in the beginning it is tense and sometimes rocky and then after a bit it stabilizes.
philia sign.jpgThis retreat center (though it ties in with my mission and current business perfectly) is in reality, a brand new business.  Since the second we decided to go ahead with it, it has taken every last drop of sweat, every breath and every minute for every person involved.  None of us have been able to focus on our respective role within the organization because of everything we have had to get done.  Instead of fulfill my usual role, I have had to sort out details with design and direct contractors and workers and shop for necessities and haul things in pick up trucks.  At this point everyone on the team feels guilty for having ever been upset at the price any of us ever had to pay for a hotel or any other hospitality service (having seen what goes into the back end of a retreat).  It is a crazy amount of work and the minute something goes right, something else goes wrong.  The kind of pressure we are all under has made the team's collective shadows and wounds surface.  On top of that, the intensely shamanic nature of this property itself is a catalyst.    

teal philia river.jpgTo add to it all, there are people around the world who are so vehemently opposed to my career ( actually mostly to me as a person), that they have decided to dedicate themselves to trying to destroy this retreat center.  The minute that we announced Philia, they began planning how to try to shut it down.  This began with them collectively contacting the FBI and the local police.  Now their efforts are aimed at attending so as to sabotage it from the inside.  They have been targeting both attendees and teachers of the retreat.  We had one teacher resign from doing a retreat here because of the amount of Anti-Teal 'Danger' propaganda sent to her when she announced that she was working with me.  The teacher of the current retreat and many of the prospective attendees have confessed that they too felt deeply insecure coming here because of it.  Essentially, the principal strategy of those who oppose me is to “befriend” people associated with me and then turn them against me.

It has been a frustration being told by some that I should just ignore it all (which can’t happen if they are taking tangible steps).  And on the other hand being told by others that they need my help and a direct response to it all.  As sad as it makes me to say, the reality is that conflict and controversy now surrounds me. 


customer-563967_640.jpgNow, I am at a point where I literally have to warn people publicly (like I am doing in this blog) that because of the intense dedication of these individuals that have decided they hate me and then banded together to form an Anti Teal group, that people who demonstrate association or alliance with me should expect that they are going to be targeted for conversion by these people. 

I am now facing several issues because of their strategy.  Primarily the fact that this hate group has done such a good job with their fear propaganda and slander that people’s moms and dads and brothers and sisters and friends are getting scared about me and then trying to turn the people they love away from me.  It’s WAY harder to brush off the concerns of a passionate hater than the concerns of someone in your life that you love and whose opinion and connection you care about.  Second, many people do not want to stick their necks out in support of me and be 'shot at' by this hate group too (condemned by association).  Third, even more people than that, are merely conflict avoidant and simply do not want to be involved in the heat and pressure of controversy. 

I feel more like a revolutionary than a spiritual teacher when I see people polarizing around me so dramatically either FOR or AGAINST me as a person.  And to add insult to injury, the shadow aspect of the spiritual field has reared its head in the form of messages from people saying that the reason they are pulling away from me is because they believe in the law of attraction.  And therefore, if I “attract” so much hate and controversy, it must mean something about me as a person.  When they say things like this, I wonder how people can hold such a double standard.  They say that the level of controversy surrounding me is indicative of some dark shadow within me.  And yet, they revere characters like Jesus, Ghandi, Martin Luther King and Joan of Arc.  History has shown us that controversy is not always indicative of people being evil, but people being change.  Many of the biggest game changers on earth end up dead as a result of circumstances like I find myself in today.  As history has shown over and over again, the person who wants to stand up the loudest for change, takes the highest risk and is often the one who suffers the consequences of taking that risk.                            

hustle-and-bustle-1738072_640.jpgThe pressure I am under now is the very reason that people choose to stay small.  I am acutely aware that it is much safer socially to do so.  That is sad to me.  This is what people are trying to avoid by holding themselves back.  The reality is that launching anything in the hopes of success, just like you do when you push the throttle on a plane to launch it into the air, is a risk.  It is a risk that you’ll never be ready for.  And so, rather than provide any solution today, I would like to end this blog by inviting you to ask yourself the question… What am I afraid of that is currently making me hold myself back?  By taking a risk to ‘really go for it’, whatever that may be, what is it that I risk?

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 I completely relate to this blog and understand what you mean. I know that you give off a need to know basis on "dark Forces" and some what avoid the conversation for what ever reason but I have recently spoke with someone who has spoke of things I have felt my whole life. That of us not being free with regards to external forces. So for instance if you bring the light, which we are, the dark can respond with retaliating forces as well and although we are hear to bring the light we have dark forces attached to us ethericly who can try to sabotage us via our guides and other forces.....what do you know of this and how do you think it is playing out in regard to your experience here. Do you also think that we have ways to remove these strongholds that hold us back or attack us and if so what are they? I know you mentioned being free before but when I read this I immediately felt the vibrational ding of that which I feel of my own light and what I feel is sabotaging my doings.  Thank you Teal. 

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Hang in there, Teal. You know you're on the right path when people are freaking out around you (or something like that?) You have a mission and you know it; don't let them stop you. You have support from me and lots of others. We believe in your mission to bring light to the dark. Much love and light to you.

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Teal, you need more unconditional support for the work that you are doing now. Expand your innermost circle of friends. Let them take some more of the burden off of your shoulders. Connect deeper and more directly with everybody around the globe who is willing to lend you this support, too. I am sure there are very many of us. Enhance your trust and let all the magic in.

And thank you very much!

Love, Borut

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Stay strong. Reserves are coming in on Saturday. I can't wait and look forward to being supportive. I would write more but I'm on Bart right now ... so sending my very best intention. Xoxo Karen 

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I totally know how you feel, dearest Teal ! I've been a catalyst for transformation of others shadows all my life....and have had many haters....been very hard often., emotionally, physically.....easier now...because my compassion for them makes me not become hurt easily anymore...most of them call me and ask for forgiveness  months or years later....when the seed I planted is ready to grow....

the energy now is more polarized than ever, so your haters will naturally now go more crazy than ever., they feel worse than ever and blame you/hate you more than ever....screaming children, really.

I love  so much about you and admire your courage to stand in the front lines of this big global transformation true pain....Because I've felt as a too sensitive empath, i have tried to work more incognito for many years...often without luck, since my energy is a catalyst  anyway without saying or doing anything......

Now feeling strong enough to be more in the front lines too...so Yes , I'm with you, no matter...all the way

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I want to send you much love and light.... 

For me the theme is that people have to learn to think for themselves. Don't follow this or another person, be for someone or against someone.... but looking at their perspective and integrate it in their on way..... 

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You just need to keep doing what you're doing. You of all people know those who resonate will gravitate and those in fear will fight it or shut down. Neither is about you and neither will change the scope of the information as truth comes through regardless of recipient.  

As for your questions:

What am I afraid of that is currently making me hold myself back?  By taking a risk to ‘really go for it’, whatever that may be, what is it that I risk?

I have feared the response of those around me when I stand in my truth but what I have experienced is those around me accept me and my family, most, has shut me down in gossip, judgment, and misalignment of truth.  Mostly I have feared the doubt in them is really my doubt reflected. As I stand further in my truth I hope to not be affected by the negativity around me as it is not mine. So long as I work through my own fears of rejection and doubt.

What i risk is my vulnerability taking me down instead of my vulnerability as a strength to lift and support my truth and purpose.

PS Many blessings your way. AND THEN SOME.  


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without the haters i maybe would not be here. So i have to thank them. And they are making me energetic AND creative... AND nicly anrgyyyy .. for now. Star Wars is just a film. A old one - now is now and the now itself is change. So i am very very curious 'bout the future programs and expiriences. I still love you all. You are and also are not my balance. Even the closest ones are testing me. And they call out with hate and fear. So i have to go and see for myself. If She allows (world) and if i allow.

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Currently, nothing is holding me back.  I am going for it all the way. It's do or die.  Death doesn't scare me; failure doesn't scare me; pain doesn't scare me; and judgments no longer scare me so much.  I risk nothing and yet everything at the same time.

This life is just an experience, a game to be played well.  I want to play it well, not play it safe.  And, I thank you Teal for helping me to get to this point.  

I love that you are not holding back.  You are risking it all too!  You have my heart-felt support, deep appreciation, and complete trust.  Sending you lots of love. 

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Hi Teal,

you definitely deserve, that people stand up for you - you are so brave! 

I have been listening to your teachings for over a year now and it has made such a difference in my life, I feel very grateful. 

We can all make up our own minds and don't need to give others the power to tell us what we should think about you. People who spend their energy and life discrediting others should be suspicious to everyone. What are they hiding behind? 

I don't see you hiding behind anything. You are so courageous! 

I have signed up for a retreat and am very much looking forward to finally meeting you in person. 

I prefer spending my time to inspire people around me to listen to your teachings and make up their own mind. 




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My Ex recently sat down with me and told me how you (Teal) are dangerous for me the arguments always fall flat but the shame is difficult sometimes that is the shame they throw upon me for being associated with you. I stand strong and one of my goals is to go to the retreat and become a completion practice practitioner. They push only drives me closer to you. I have always been  ridiculed and an outsider, if you were mainstream and accepted by everyone I probably would not be intrested lol. Much Love Teal I am with you. 

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The work you are doing has absolutely changed my life, and I am so thankful for that. Perhaps it is better to not have teachers/attendees at Philia who are unable to discern for themselves what they feel is true. You have support in me, and I cannot wait to attend a retreat! ?


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