A string of pelicans streams across the morning sky at eye level. Each bird mirrors the movements of the one ahead of it. From the 17th floor suite, I am graced with a panoramic view of San Francisco and the bay that caresses its flanks.
Alcatraz Island stands proud in accordance with the identity it has received from the people here, as an emblem. The ocean water today is steel blue. When the boats cut through the water, they leave satiny ribbons in their wake across the surface. Cars move like tiny ants in the distance across the various beautiful bridges that connect parts of the city to other parts that are separated by seawater. The city is so beautiful from here it looks surreal. I spent 15 minutes looking through the antique gold telescope in the room this morning as the sun rose.
There is nothing flat about this city. The topography of this city, which rises and falls so famously steeply below me, makes for such an aesthetic aerial view. The feeling of awe is tainted by a kind of exhaustion to think of all the manual labor that went into building this endless expanse of buildings. It’s both impressive and overwhelming.
Sometimes debacles end in fortunate changes of plan. I do not have the time to book my own accommodation when I go on business trips and so that job is delegated to other members of my team. It usually goes well but as many of you may know from personal experience, on occasion the listing of a space grossly misrepresents the actuality of a space. I love using Air B&B for my trips, however you do run the risk of running into serious false advertising with private rentals. This was absolutely the case on this trip. When we showed up, the apartment we rented was in a terrible part of Pacifica. The apartment was part of a house that was occupied by the two men who owned the house. There was not room for 3 people. The entry was through a cluttered garage and the washing machine for the whole house was in the kitchen of the rental apartment. The owners kept coming in and out at their leisure to wash clothes. The house was located directly in front of a recycling junkyard. The owners had provided a dish full of earplugs incase the incessant noise became too intrusive. But worst of all, the place was absolutely littered with Christian relics including a bible in the center of the coffee table. Coming to San Francisco and ending up in an ultra religious household is a feat only accomplishable by the law of attraction working in cahoots with deep unhealed wounds within my being. I know, I know… I tell people in this exact situation to consider their boundaries and leave if it isn’t self-loving to stay. But I ignored my own teaching and violated my own boundaries and stayed the night. Not wanting to be seen as a diva, I abandoned myself.
When morning came, Graciela and I decided to stay at the apartment. Occasionally when I come to cities where my schedule isn’t slam packed, I see a few people for private sessions. I have them come to the hotel room or apartment I have rented. This has never been a problem before, until this trip. When the owners saw an unknown person enter the apartment, they flipped out. I mean grand scale, shadows exploding all over the place flipped out. They confronted Graciela, wanting to know exactly who I was and what I was up to. For a minute, they became convinced “seeing clients” meant I was running a sexual favors business out of their apartment. Then, they decided to evict us straight away. One of the owners busted in on my session and took a picture of the three of us in the room (to use in a potential future law suit). They told me I was making their house unsafe and that I was deceptive and it turned into a real scene. I felt mortified. We packed everything as fast as we could and got in my client’s car and drove away.
Long story short, last night we ended up booking a suite at a beautiful iconic hotel. The feeling of emotional safety flooded my being the minute I walked through the doors. In the grand entrance, towered a glittering Christmas tree so large you had to tip your head back to see the very top. And behind the tree, the entire entrance to the dining room was covered in a newly constructed two-story gingerbread mansion. Walking inside of it, the warm smell of baked gingerbread and frosting enveloped me. It was pure magic. I love this time of year. I love the way all the shops smell of cinnamon and pine. I love the toasty feeling in the air and the general cheer. I love the cozy busy-ness that fills up the town. I love the twinkling lights against the snow. I love the sensual, rich colors that adorn everything. I love the familiar songs that cause me to reminisce. I feel safer at Christmas time than any other time of year. I have a full day of individual sessions booked again today. Hopefully today’s sessions will successfully take place without a catch. I am going out tonight to see a performance with horses called “OdysseO” that I’ve wanted see forever. I can’t wait. I haven’t been this excited to see a show in years. I fully intend to let myself get sucked into it and to re-connect with the otherworldly energy of horses, one of the greatest loves in my life.