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Found 21 results

  1. toemilyjune

    365 Days to Self Love Day1 of 365 days of 'What Would Someone Who Loves Themselves Do?' I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Aiding in my tiredness is a viral load off the charts at 750 of the Epstein Barr Virus. I've watched Teal's videos and two times took notes on her very enlightening Chronic Fatigue video. My self-esteem seems to prevent me from making any lasting changes and often prevents me from even starting things. This trickles over into every aspect of my life including when I lay down for bed, when I leave my home, and when I answer the phone. I live in a perpetual state of fear. Even before this virus prevented me from working I lived in fear. I want a different life for myself than sitting on the couch being brainwashed by the media. I want to feel amazing with my toes in Grecian sand, and I want that flight to be a breeze instead of something that petrifies me to think of. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to have a partner. I want to make jewelry and have filthy hands from playing in potters clay. I want to help people in a way that doesn't leave me resentful and scraping by financially. Here's my starting point. I lay on the couch all day watching Netflix and switching to my phone eyeballing Facebook and Instagram. When it's time to sleep I brush my teeth, floss and oil pull (new habit), then turn off the tv and remain on the couch to sleep. My Adrenal fatigue is very severe. I can be on my feet for a couple hours during the day without exhaustion, but I will feel uneasy and fearful of my blood sugar dropping. I have hypoglycemia and my blood sugar drops every two hours, three if I'm lucky. I live alone in my apartment. I have one casual married male friend I see once a month at a vegan potluck and another I talk to occasionally via the Marco Polo application. She lives in Seattle. I leave the house to go to Costco and the grocery store. I'm doing this here in Teal's space because I feel safe here. I feel other people will accept what I'm doing. I want to hold myself accountable and follow through with a whole year documenting my journey. Finding self love and reclaiming my life is my top priority and I feel it's time to do something drastic. I'd like to look back on this and rejoice this time in my life as a valuable painful learning experience that is in the past. If one person reads my trials and begins their own journey to self love, thats an immeasurable bonus! Day 2 of 365 days of 'What Would Someone Who Loves Themselves Do?' I felt pressure yesterday following this new way of thinking. I didn't turn on the tv until the evening, which was a huge detour from my normal life laying on the couch. I was however on my laptop a lot haha. I went to my family's house (200 foot walk) and talked with my mom and pet her many corgis for over an hour. She breeds them under strict standards and shows them professionally. What was notably different was I received a renewal application in the mail and instead of looking at it until the day it was due I filled it out and actually dropped it off. I was dizzy and foggy headed doing so and I was scared to go to the grocery store which I had planned after. I asked the sacred question wondering to press on or go home, and was surprised to get the answer of 'go to the store'. I did. I didn't feel great, but I got through it, and actually felt peace that I could trust this answer from my higher self because it was not my first inclination. I know, a boring read so far. Prepare for more boring. I asked randomly during the day and I was told 'eat', 'go to the bathroom' and even 'lay down', 'relax'! When I listened to my body sure enough these things were a priority and I guess I was just ignoring them until it became glaringly obvious. Day 3 of 365 days of 'What Would Someone Who Loves Themselves Do?' In the name of authenticity and shame. In asking the question 'WWSWLTD?', I was pulled to catch up on Teal's blogs. She discussed shame that she feels and it probed me to ask about my shame, so I thought jogged the following: Being seen as a slob, Being seen as lazy, Being seen as sexual specifically around family, Being seen as free spirited “wild” = without discipline, Being seen as WooWoo or spiritual, Being seen as inadequate, especially in artistic measures, Being seen as a victim, Having racist moments when I know better, Not finishing things, Not meeting financial goals, Not looking ideally thin and healthy (in control), Not being well liked by people, Not being really good at something for my age. Not being seen as a good example of how to live in society with success and discipline. So afraid of being disliked that you end up alone. (because you judge others as harshly as you do yourself and abandon them if they do things you don’t agree with, or see as spiritually devolved.) Shortly after creating my list, my friend is Seattle rang on Marco Polo and we had a rare authentic conversation about projecting an accurate image of yourself into the digital dating world. She told me stories of vast misrepresentations and I admitted I rarely take pictures of myself and the only full body one that was not a 'shameful selfie' was when I was 10-15lbs lighter (just after a breakup no less). People online would want to meet me and I would never meet them in person because I knew I was false advertising and could not handle the rejection of reading the disappointment on their face and the utter awkward moments to follow. I just wanted someone to talk to and mask my loneliness and pain. The point this made me realize is this. Up until two years ago I have been in a relationship since I was 13 years old. I was a master at finding a guy I could land and accommodating myself to reflect his interests. Since I was ashamed of being spiritual, energy sensitive, or the barefoot bohemian type, I led with other aspects. I like long haired musicians, nice cars and fast bikes, have an innocent face, am desperate to go to Greece. What did I find? Long haired musicians I was petrified to sing around. Lots of handsome intelligent foreign men who were great with numbers and facts, attracted to my wholesome look, and loved my need for speed. Never mind I was used and using them for non intimate sex because that was the only way I knew how to get connection. Finally, A couple years ago this blew up in my face. Out of lust of Damon Salvator the bad boy in Vampire Diaries I manifested an American who looked strikingly similar to him and had similar non acting interests. On a beautiful night in Santa Cruz, CA my friend decided to have a beach party. 7 or 8 attended and I was on a rare moment happily myself since there were only two guys and both were in relationships, and what I considered too young. I told embarrassing shit stories of when I was in the Army and we all drank and bonded. What I didn't know was this boy 7 years younger had fallen for me, went home broke up with his girlfriend of three years and started pursuing me three days later. Naturally I was completely off guard and scrambled to put on my protective swave game face. Bam spiritual barefoot Emily vanished and out came wholesome, catering, attentive, adventurous Emily. We fell in love hard and fast. He worked in the forrest and loved to fish, which fit right in line with my family's way of living. Everyone was shocked I was dating an American with a red Jeep and a yellow dog. We moved in together two blocks from the beach and everything was going great, until I started getting sick with my Chronic Fatigue symptoms. He started to realize I was depressed with suppressed anger, which only magnified how uncomfortable he was with his suppressed feelings. As I got sicker I became more spiritual and obsessive with Feng Shui hoping to fix my life. He was alien to the idea of energy and even what healthy food was, and I was all about that when I got sick because I had saved my own life with diet before. A great love, or ideal of love, turned into two near strangers living together trapped after a year and a half. One day laying on the couch I put his arm around me for one too many times. I told him that it felt forced for him to be close to me and I absolutely don't want to be around someone who doesn't want me. In that moment I l probed him hard learning of his flailing feelings and immediately, what felt out of the blue, we broke up. I was already too sick to work and lonely from his rejection of my natural treatment methods. This made me feel so awful, but so so much worse when I learned he had been sleeping around. By now I was unable to hold down even my own massage practice so I flew home to Alaska to be with family and recuperate. During the month home, he began a new relationship, and there was no mending it. When I returned I found myself with a fast timeline to move out and another girl was to move in immediately after. Thus began a heartbreak so painful my health hit the floor. I moved to Alaska where I now reside and have worked hard to forgive him, which I feel I have genuinely done. It took a heartbreak so painful, a true rejection from someone I loved, and two years for me to sit here and say this. Not representing myself authentically is a form of self rejection and shame that can be so terribly painful and devastating I wondered how it has not killed me. The moral is to accept myself, and courageously be myself, thus attracting people who feel the same about themselves, and have the capacity to give to me in a way that is less likely to be detrimental. So how do I do that when I have so much shame and have never been authentically myself around any man or immediate family member for fear of rejection? That is exactly why I am asking the question throughout the day 'What would someone who loves themselves do?' because, I don't know yet. I'm at what feels like ground zero of unconditional self love. I do know that self rejection is a futile leaned behavior to seek acceptance and now a state too painful to live with.
  2. Receiving Support and Being Supportive in a relationship are very different things. We intrinsically give certain levels of support and if we are looking for our partner to support us in a way that is not natural to them, we may be missing out on our own needs being met. This Ask Teal video about ‘What kind of supportive are you’ by Teal Swan helps shed some light on this issue. Teal Swan is an International Contemporary Spiritual Leader. She offers perspective on a wide range of topics including relationships, anxiety, meditation, shadow work, authenticity, the law of attraction, The Completion Process, healing, PTSD, emotions and spirituality Website: www.tealswan.com For daily updates, monthly online Synchronization Workshops join TealSwan.com/premium Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thespiritualcatalyst/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tealspiritualcatalyst/?hl=en Twitter: TEALCATALYST Newsletter: https://tealswan.com/newsletter Completion Process Book: https://thecompletionprocess.com/#the-book Teal's Meditations: https://gumroad.com/tealswan Teal's e-shop: tealswan.com/teals-products Beginning Song: Kuan Yin's Mantra (c) 2002 Lisa Thiel Help us caption & translate this video! http://amara.org/v/9Hq9/
  3. This guest at the Chicago Synchronization Workshop asked how to recover her self worth from being attached to productivity. This is good for anyone dealing with the fear of failure, shame, anxiety with success, and attaching what you do to your own self worth. To Watch the Rest of the Workshop Visit https://tealswan.com/premium-workshops/chicago-workshop-2018-12-r101/ Help us caption & translate this video! https://amara.org/v/iMST/
  4. Talking on Love and Fear, and Isolation. If you have had trauma, abuse, ritual abuse, the most important thinking is to treat yourself with gentleness. Eventually, self love is possible. There is hope to overcome what has happened. There is always a way! More information how to heal: www.laurajworley.com
  5. Alright. I've been watching a bunch of Teal's videos recently, and I'm trying to figure out how this self-love works. I've finally learned that I ought to accept my shortcomings, as it's part of me, and thus something I should be able to love. However I occasionally smoke, I occasionally drink, I ocasionally eat heaps of sugar and cake, and I occasionally spend entire days playing games or bingeing series, and I love it! Sure I feel the effect now and again, but if there wasn't something fun or attractive about these things, I'm sure I wouldn't do it. Still these are some of the hardest things to accept about myself, and I believe it might be because, external sources are constantly reminding me how bad and sometimes "evil" they are. I know Teal says, that I should start by accepting my shortcomings if I want to love myself (which should bring happiness in my life, and possibly direct me towards enlightment, which also would be pretty cool), and I should ask myself "what would a person who truly loves themselves do in this situation". And I've done this, and to me the answer seems to be, that I should accept smoking, drinking, sugar, cakes, video games and bingeing series, yet still this seems to be frowned upon or at least adviced against even in the spiritual community. So what am I missing here? Am I misunderstanding my wants? Am I being mislead by my ego? (Which I think would be more interested in exercise and quitting smoking, as it (the ego) is the only thing that will truly get damaged from those activities) Will my wants automatically (or magically) change to healthier things as I become more well versed in the practice of self-love? Or is it possible that I could become one of the first masters to walk the Earth and still beat up kids in Rocket League and disappear on a mountain for a day or two when the next season of Stranger Things is out?
  6. Share and Tell - A Story About self love Hi Everyone! I just wanted to share a personal experience, which I hope might inspire others. I have been feeling physically and emotionally sick / tired / drained. It's been a tough couple months. I admit I am quite hard on myself mentally. So, I decided I needed to be more self loving. I needed to let my inner child out to play. ( I realized how almost NOTHING I do is ACTUALLY play!) So, one morning I woke up and I said, inner child you pick out my outfit today. I just let my inner child and intuition put together and outfit. Pattern with pattern, blue, red lavender, yellow! It was wild. But No matter how crazy or "weird" it was I decided no matter what, I would leave the house and go on an adventure. I took myself out to lunch and I went to an art gallery. Well, let me just say I got SOOOOOOOOO many compliments. It was getting ridiculous! Just a great example of how important it is to honor your innocent child self, let them out of there cage!! PLAY! Your world will transform!
  7. Compulsive Lying - The why and How it started Have you ever crossed paths with someone who you think is genuine only to find out that nothing about them is true? I'm just wondering how compulsive lying comes about in a person. What may have happened in a persons life to make them so insecure about themselves and see so little of themselves that they would fracture this part of themselves off and feel the need to create a barrier of this sort? What does it mean when someone lis compulsively? How has it come about and how can it be helped? How can the damages/trauma of a persons past/past life be repaired? Any thoughts?
  8. Hello everybody, I recently joined the site and am eager to get immersed in the community and make some new friends through this platform. I have been watching Teal's videos since my senior year of high school, so that is about 3 years now. Anyway, some time ago Teal posted a video on her channel about how to connect with yourself (its title is the title of this post). It is about doing mirror work. I found today to be a good opportunity to do it, and so I finally took the chance. I was planning to keep a journal of my experiences with this, but I am deciding to challenge myself by posting about my experiences here. I have a body mirror hanging on my door. I bought it a month or two ago just for this process when the video was uploaded, but since then I have been avoiding actually doing it. Before starting, I cleaned my room and then I wanted to watch the video to refresh myself on how it works, but I decided I was just stalling and I just decided to go with it. I finally finished reading Teal's latest book (Shadows Before Dawn) recently and decided it was time to own up to how I feel. Anyway, I took off all my clothes, sat the chair in front of the mirror, and scooted up my chair so my knees were touching the door (to make it as if my knees were touching the knees of my reflection). I took several deep breaths and just stared into my own eyes. The first wall I encountered was fear. We were both afraid. I let him know I was afraid too and that I was here. The next wall my vision started to get cloudy a little and I was starting to see my face in gritty detail. It wasn't ugly, but there were "blemishes." My face started to become distorted, deformed even.My face then transformed into an older face. My hair even appeared gray-- like the color of an ash coating. This image would come and go, as if pulsing. There came a moment when the image of my old face was strong enough that it felt as if I were looking exactly at how I will look when I am old, but the face wasn't completely recognizable as my own. When that wall passed, I encountered a wall that my reflection was using to hide itself from me. At first, it was that my entire face would blur out, making me appear faceless. A lot of the time it was mainly my upper face (from the nasolabial crease and up) that would cloud up and disappear before me. Other times the face would disappear, but it would be distorted around the eyes, and I could see a glimpse of my dark brown eyes. It looked as if someone had poured acid on my eyes. I decided to start talking to my reflection out loud. I let him know that I was not going anywhere and that I wanted to try to reconnect with him. I became conscious of how I had abandoned myself and hurt myself. I was telling my reflection that I was trying this for him because he is all I have, and if I lose him then I'll be all alone. I started crying as I told him this. I apologized and asked him to forgive me. I told him I understand if he doesn't want to forgive me right now and if he doesn't want to trust me yet. I understand why he wouldn't and I let him know that I was going to try for him. After the emotion was felt (it passed quickly; I did not need to cry for long) the wall my face was using to hide behind was now only covering his eyes. Everything else about the face was clear, but the eyes were masked. I waited for him to respond, and he did by covering his whole face again. I received understanding that he was not ready at the time to let me enter. I told him I'd wait for him to be ready and that I understood him and I just stayed there with him for some time. I tried using love to melt myself through the wall, but it was not working.I just continued to wait and wait there, to let him know I wasn't going to easily give up.After some time, I felt the exercise had gone as far as it was going to be able to go for today, and so I took another deep breath and thanked him anyway. I let him know I was going to return and that I wasn't going to give up on him, and I thanked him again. After that, I sat with him for a bit of time, and then got up out of the chair and put my clothes back on. I plan to post one of these each time I do this process.
  9. Geri

    Self love help? So I re-watched Teal's video " Self Love -The Great Shortcut to Enlightenment " and that night I decided to commit to asking myself "What would someone who loves themselves do?" The first night was fine when I asked the question to myself the answer came like a flash of intuition. But the next day when I asked the question nothing came to me. Sometimes an answer comes and sometimes it doesn't. Maybe I ask the question too often because I do have a lot of free time. Sometimes it feels like I'm making up the answer. I'd really like to commit to this and sometimes when I asked this question I'd have weird answers come to me, but sometimes I worry if I should take action on it because I'm not sure if I just made it up in my mind. I'm probably overthinking this, but what should I do if I ask the question and the answer isn't clear or doesn't come?
  10. I'm back-- Self Love Process Part 2 Hey all In my last post on this forum I told you all of my first time trying the "connecting with yourself process." I said I'd update you all each time I did this process, so I am holding my promise true. It is true that I have not done this process since the first time since last summer, so I have not broken my promise to you all. However, I broke my promise to myself to continue the mirror work. I forgive myself for this. Since last summer and now there has definitely been a shift in my internal world, especially last month (December). In the time between last summer and now I have been focusing on owning up to the way I feel and practicing the art of "Being with My Self." Last month I also happened to attend my first synchronization workshop that Teal had in San Diego. I was actually called up and my question was about the fear of death. I discovered I am not afraid of death, but instead I am afraid of isolation. That solo trip to San Diego definitely catalyzed a greater shift within me, and since the workshop my objective has been clear: I have to deal with this fear of isolation through the Completion Process. I have since then been trying to practice the Completion Process more. I have had one CP session with a certified practitioner so far. I have been trying to sit and meditate with binaural beats (my house is not the most quiet) but I am beginning to realize that this traditional method might not work in the best way for me right now. So now we get to the main topic of the post: the self love process. I suddenly remembered about it tonight as I was trying to meditate and it just snapped to me that the Self-Love Process (connecting with yourself) is also a great way to give yourself unconditional presence. So I got out of bed and got out my mirror, trying out a different setup. This new setup works much better for me, as I feel I got farther with myself this time. I can post a picture of my new mirror setup if you guys want me to. So far, I prefer to practice this process as naked as possible. Being that it is winter time however, I kept on my undies and socks and pulled a robe over myself to keep warm. It could quite possibly be the new setup that caused me to go into this process so much more easily, because quite soon after sitting down and beginning to stare into my eyes did I encounter my first wall. I encountered more walls and so I cannot remember the order of them, but I can definitely remember their qualities and descriptions. The rest of this post I will just describe to you what I saw. Of course, there were some familiar walls, such as the distorted ugly face, the old face with gray hair, and a bit of the face that looked like it was acid-damaged. This time my reflection did not really try to cover itself up, and it definitely tested me harder. But it was nothing I couldn't manage. This time around I decided to focus on my left eye. Many of the walls this time around were centered on the eye area instead of the whole face. I think this time around my focus was sharper, zeroing in on just my eye now. I saw my eye change shape, size, and form. There were some where the eye was smaller, others where it was more elongated, and some where the whole area directly around the eye would black out, giving the eye a lot of focus. Most interestingly, there were 2 or 3 walls in which I saw the eye of another animal in my own. The first one of these I saw my eye transform into the yellow eye of a serpent, and in the next one of these my eye transformed into what I interpreted to be the eye of an elephant. Other walls concerned my face as a whole. I also saw another familiar face-- a face of sadness or grief. In this wall, my face was distorted in a way that reminds me of the way an elf looks. It had black beady eyes and a droopy frown and eyebrows expressing the sadness. This wall was sending the message of simply wanting to be recognized and given presence. I sat with this wall for a good deal of time. I shed some tears out of my right eye. My left eye did not want to shed tears, even if it was the one I was choosing to focus on. Immediately after this wall, a wall of anger followed behind. In this wall my face was back to normal, but my eyes were darkened and my eyebrows were furrowed. I let this wall know I understood his feelings. Additionally, there were more distorted, ugly face walls thrown at me. The worst one was one in which the skin on my face appeared to have this grainy texture and it was browner-- like carved wood. I call this face the "wooden doll face." It was the scariest face, expressing anger, nasty hate, almost evil and it was definitely intimidating, but I simply breathed through it and let the face know that I was here with it. It subsided soon enough. Different from last time, most all these visual illusions of each wall would come at a regular fading in & out pulse, not remaining static. However, there were a few instances where I encountered a wall where it seemed like my reflection self was completely still, static. In these walls, my vision blurred a bit and the entire reflection in the mirror started to shake fast. I think in this wall, my self was testing me and trying to "shake me away." This wall happened 2 times and I just stuck through with it until the end. One other wall I want to mention was auditory illusion. One of the walls I encountered began picking up the sounds around me and making them scary to me. This wall was quite a test, and ranks up there with the wooden doll face. The sounds were not grotesque. I soon realized the sound I was hearing was the sound of my hands sliding off the seat and the wooden floor cracking a bit. I realized it was nothing to be afraid of. It was so scary because it was so different and I had not experienced something like that before.
  11. In this episode, Teal Swan explains why we can’t and don’t feel loved for who we are. She explains the origin of self-hate. Most of us don’t feel like we can be loved for who we are. As a result most of us are inauthentic. Teal Swan explains that we can’t feel loved for who we are because most parents only mirror a child when they are doing something and thus only associate a child with what they DO, we only associate ourselves with what we DO. Our entire identity becomes about what we DO. That becomes our sense of who we are. As a result, it isn’t even that we believe we are what we do. It is that we don’t feel like we exist separate from what we do. Teal Swan is an International Spiritual Leader. She offers perspective on a wide range of topics including relationships, anxiety, meditation, shadow work, the law of attraction, The Completion Process, healing, PTSD, emotions and spirituality. Subscribe to Teal’s newsletters here: http://thespiritualcatalyst.us6.list-manage2.com/subscribe?u=a0c9fbd5534138eb374993029&id=bebf0eebc3 Teal's Web page: http://tealswan.com/ Teal's Meditations: http://www.jointeallive.com/meditations/ Teal's e-shop: https://gumroad.com/tealswan http://www.askteal.com Kuan Yin's Mantra (c) 2002 Lisa Thiel Help us caption & translate this video! http://amara.org/v/0GN9/
  12. I know it's a strange thing to mention as the first thing considering many negative connotations it has with it, but I've always wanted to be a gogo boy and anything remotely close to it. Truly loving yourself and all those around you, and also connecting through music and all sorts of passions. It always seems to come back to my own fantasies and desires, and this profession/hobby, seems to help me reconnect with being truly able to express myself, the love i actually have of the male form, including my own. i've already seen through most things to their core and which is why i find myself deeply intrigued by practically everything i come across. Even know i practice all sorts of dancing in the private of my own home and hardly even show it with my BF who would be somebody i'd like to entertain in this way or even has a partner in crime so to say. but early on a simple conversation shook me some years back and it just gave me this feeling of instantly not wanting to express myself in a certain way with him even though we may enter certain subjects from time to time and they can remain rather playful in nature.. Anyways, he in a way wouldn't let me get into it because of the dangers he was aware of and wanted to keep me form it. but also laughed at me when i said how i wanted to be an awesome and inspiring gogoboy. and something he said in explanation was like how the word doesn't match the rest of the sentence.. when i for one have seen many people and dynamics through the internet that shows different into this whole lifestyle which has alot more to it than just dancing around.. even though simply doing that is super fun for me. Just a world where everybody is close and just has fun with eachother. Hell, even pornstars have more to it than meets the eye.. Being gay tends to revolve around these things a bit and i don't take any offense towards it{only misjudgements by outsiders}. It's not trashy.. it's magical.. even the ''trashy'' bits, lol. ( I guess i just resemble alot of what is taboo, to my core. Almost like my very existence is taboo, just as fascinating as simply existing.) It's really all about pure expression and love. specially for dance, art and music.. I've always liked pretty much all forms of dance, no matter their origins and cultures behind. So much that i almost gotten Kabuki among other things to be part of the theater/drama curriculum of my first high school before i had to move away. ( also because of my roots, and wanting to get some raw culture into the mix, which would remedy appropriation and stuff like that with the purity and power of the art-form itself. I've always loved interior design. which also ties into how much I just love getting a look into peoples homes even just from the road side while walking by. as well as getting to feel a bit into the aura and mood of the room and everything in. ( reminds me of one of Teal's blog about how sh could decorate a room that would And most of all, I love to write, sing and draw. Though most of my stories have for the most part stayed inside my mind for further action. lol I also love photoraphy but never had much to use as an outlet for that but still dying to try out the next camera i got in the city i am in currently living in for example. I'm also into alot of academic things.. specially philosophy and theology.. even when i was in high-school, i desired for the collage experience.. .. you know.. full of genuine knowledge seeking adults and young folk. ( I've also been known to look through people and see into their heart. which allows me to like anybody. even those who have seemed to hurt me in some way.) [that's it for now.]
  13. Stephanie Wintermute

    Just saw this. Really motivated me as a writer. Share the videos that inspire you!
  14. Hello everyone out there I am curious if there are people in this community who have made significant progress and/or attracted things they always wanted into their lives - thanks to Teal's teachings? How have your lives changed? When was the first time you realized "Wow, this is really working"? Share your success stories with us Love, Flammable
  15. Millie

    The healing trap versus reverse integration vs intentional non-integration: for example, social anxiety causes a healing trap- i want conditional acceptance but i also want to heal and they conflict. how do i not abandon myself while speaking with someone? I put pressure on myself to "perform well" and not let them see my anxiety because they will see my flaw. Yet the very act of wanting this conditional acceptance is so damaging to myself and I just can't escape the social anxiety. I am caught with trying to accept this aspect of myself so that in turn maybe I will heal it and then I will feel accepted by people. With the idea of reverse integration or also intentional non-integration (putting the social recluse in a safe mental corner while putting my extroverted side out there) there comes this immediate feeling that I have not accepted the trait of social anxiety. It feels like abandonment. How do I reconcile this??
  16. Saul_Tasier

    Hi how are all of you In my tags I have included some major aspects of myself, though they don't define who I am a human being, they definitely can help me find people on here who have at least these things in common with me. I'm queer and transgender (pansexual/ androgynous), I use they/them pronouns, originally from the midwest now in the north east. I enjoy making art and music. I have just begun practicing what may be called chaos magic, though I feel I've been practicing chaos manifestation my whole life. I feel synchronicity is a huge part of my life, and that I am a person who's very in touch with their body and soul. Especially considering the abuse that I have endured as I am a trauma survivor. Lately I've been having intense amazing psychedelic visions while sober (mostly in a meditative state) and have had my spirit guide instruct me to do several things in life in order to become more positive. I am healing from Chronic C-PTSD. I have a litany of symptoms that in the past have gotten in the way of relationships and jobs. I am still working on my self-esteem and anxiety. Lately my worst symptom is being clingy with my girlfriend. Though this is true, I resolve to not feel ashamed about it and re-shape my behavior patterns. I refuse to abandon myself while I'm making headway on dealing with complex emotions. That is why I have decided to dedicate as much time as I can to re-wiring my brain and to loving myself. I have spent most of my life with complex emotions about my identity but now I feel I am really stepping into my power. There is pain involved in that process. Pain of letting go of old habits, but I resolve to feel and accept my pain in order to move on with life. Karate has been a huge part of that for me, and I intend to follow that practice until I master it, so I can teach other people who struggle with disorders that I have struggled with. *deep breath* WOOO! Thanks for reading! Off to the forums! Saul
  17. Kim

    http://youtu.be/Gj3oK885JFo Teal shared a vid... This made me think about my own struggles with truly accepting and appreciating myself, my journey and how far I've come.
  18. Iceberg Lettuce

    Hi there. I was wondering if anybody knew anything about manifesting attention, or getting out of a rut of feeling isolated, unloved, overlooked or forgotten. I am in desperate need this type of security at this point in my life. And I know that this problem stemmed from feelings of abandonment in childhood. I know that this needed attention from others must come from self love from within, but I still struggle. As a Leo woman, this desire to be adored is especially prevalent. Does anyone else struggle with this? Any insight, wisdom or intuition I welcome with gratitude.
  19. Okay, so does anyone have asymmetric breasts? Like, sometimes it's okay and it doesn't bother me, but other times it makes me feel so uh, well, ugly. Like, I am blessed to have boobs and healthy ones at that. That I can appreciate! Just sometimes, dear gosh it's uncomfortable. Shouldn't be, but I mean, we are conditioned to think they should look pretty immaculate. Does anyone know any natural remedies? Or, how to just accept ya self?
  20. This topic is dedicated to the subjects of breatharianism, fasting and detoxing and to share information about, along with methods of practising breatharianism/fasting/detoxing. Although all perspectives are welcome, this is not a place intended to try to force opinions on whether people shouldn't or should practice this lifestyle. This thread is meant for information only. So any information or experiences you may have with breatharianism, and/or fasting and detoxing are most encouraged here! So without further ado, here are the experiences and information that I have gathered on fasting and breatharianism: Resources Videos: I recommend watching these videos in order, however it is not necessary. Watching them in order can (kind of) give you a step by step introduction and progression into the topic. That's how I've attempted to lay it out anyway. Channels: https://www.youtube.com/user/royalt227 - (Channel I resonate with the most when it comes to this topic. As you may have already noticed due to the high volume of videos from this channel) https://www.youtube.com/user/DryogizenMASTER/featured https://www.youtube.com/user/maorray https://www.youtube.com/user/akamicuerposluz/videos https://www.youtube.com/user/Mescalito19 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC55QnHkKBlcTiBd7bTICJew Articles: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24691430 http://www.smithsonianmag.com/ist/?next=/science/sorry-hipsters-organic-kale-genetically-modified-food-180952656/ Experience: I've done 2 lots of 3 day dry fasts. I now eat eat mostly fist sized meals with soaked/sprouted nuts, seeds and fruits. I also drink herbal teas often. There's more for me to post but this took me a while and I want to take a break. I intend to edit this post later if I can. For now, enjoy! I look forward to hearing your feedback.