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Found 5 results

  1. Soul exhaustion...harassment and losing my appartment Losing my appartment. Losing my so-called friends after a very, very intense, violent and abusive relationship I broke with a man who swore to God he would kill me if I ever left him. I won't go into graphic details... Maybe one... his d... all over my crying face and his laugh, jeez Losing my trust in everybody he is now triangulating (my so-called "friends") with his favorite masks... So sick and tired of his little mind games where there can only be one goal: my inner destruction. Why do we have to have people live ONLY to destroy the ones who saw through them.? WHY? I'm at loss with words for it looks like his cruelty can only be perceived by a few ones but nobody, nofuckin body, will take the right step to stop him for good. My guides warned me... I am suffering a true and massive exhaustion on all levels. I really hope I will reunite with my Mom, the sooner the better I miss you so much MOM!
  2. 2:18 FREEDOM VS COMMITMENT. My current priority is the freedom of personal choice and it has caused immense distance between me and one of my very special loved ones. I HATE hurting her, but it feels like I need to have choice and be able to do what I want. Should I continue? 4:11 HOW DO I KNOW IF MY HEALING WORKS? When doing shadow and LoA work, I get confused about whether or not a certain remedy I think of will actually heal a pattern, I feel it might not work, be too vague or unrelated to resolving the issue, how do we know we've found a good way of healing something or resolving a split? 7:00 ANGER. A part of me gets angry when I do shadow work, why? 9:42 FEELING INVISIBLE. I was the invisible child in my family and I don't know how experience the opposite feeling to heal this trauma. How can I feel seen? 17:37 TOO MUCH SELF LOVE? I have been using the Completion Process and am learning to love myself and approve of myself. And I am so grateful for this because I feel so much better. But I am wondering if this can ever go too far? Can I love myself too much? 19:57 ADOPTION. I have heard adoptees mentioned: "They don't know who they are." The latest studies have concluded adoptees are doomed to neurosis for the rest of their lives. What would you say to adoptees in your Tribe? Are we able to become aligned? 27:47 HYPER SENSITIVITY. What is the reason behind choosing to be born highly sensitive? Are we supposed to teach people something and if so, what is it? Words of encouragement? 33:00 PLASTIC SURGERY. What is your opinion on plastic surgery? Can a woman/man be in alignment and at the same time get plastic surgery to look better? How does it affect us (our consciousness/body etc..) 35:28 NO SELF CONCEPT. My lifelong issue has been a complete lack of self concept. I get triggered even when I get remotely near this idea of me as a separate being. I badly latch onto people and only get satisfaction by others showing me importantce, I cannot enjoy/love anything outside of me. Can you help me with this? 39:00 POLARITIES. Can you talk about how to hold two opposing polarities at the same time. When I experience cognitive dissonance, I notice I tend to see someone as ALL good or ALL bad and struggle to hold the fact that both truths are valid. Any tips on how to hold both realities at the same time? 40:56 FEAR OF LOSS. Two weeks ago the person that I feel most (strangely) connected to in this life got the message that he has a life threatening illness. Since the doctor's "can't do anything" me and my alternative health friends are researching day and night to find cures. How do I handle the extreme fear and shock that is tearing me apart? I'm so afraid of loosing him. We have a very special story. 46:00 FORGIVENESS. How can I forgive my abusers for what they did? Is forgiveness a necessary part of healing? I feel so much resistance to forgive, but I feel like holding on to resentment is ruining my life. 49:38 I DON'T CARE ABOUT PEOPLE. I want others to care about me and be interested in me and have relationshipsbut it is impossible to have a good relationship, which I am starving for, if I dont geniuenly care about others so is it possible to start geniuenly caring about others and be interested in them? 52:18 SUPPRESSION. How do you express emotional energy that results from everyday triggers/circumstances if at the moment you do not feel it as intensely but see direct manifestation of its suppression later? 55:08 LACK OF MOTIVATION. What would you say to someone who cant get out of bed in the morning unless someone is holding them accountable. A person who watches motivational and self help videos a lot, who has many dreams. But has trouble taking action, and major resistance to getting a job. 57:10 BLADDER INFECTIONS. Why are sooo many women struggling with bladder infections etc.? Typical when having a new partner. It’s so hard to heal it completely. When I did bit of research I found the internet is FULL of desperate women suffering from chronic UTIs! Any tips/clues?
  3. Grieving all of humanity's pasts. Processing loss and grief. The past few days I've been feeling grief for personal reasons. There is this feeling though when I look outside and see the world and realize that everyone has a story. Everyone has experienced life just like me. And if I grieve my past in my own individual life then each human has had a past. I was looking at a row of houses and realizing that they've all experienced sadness, grief, loss, happiness, etc. Thinking of my past with my parents. Thinking of my parents pasts. Thinking of all of humanity's pasts. I remember listening to old songs sung by people who have died. They sung about their lives. Centuries and centuries of lives. So much to remember, so much to reminisce that it's overwhelming and fills my heart with loss. It seems that we create our whole lives just to lose it. I'm having to say goodbye to so much in my past. And one day I will die and say goodbye to everything and everyone in my life. There's just so much loss. And it seems the answer may be "focus on the present" and I haven't it seems I was living vicariously through my past. And now that I am saying goodbye to it I am now realizing the present. In the present I am feeling alone. I lack the connection I once felt with others and I'm grieving the past. How should I go about processing these feelings? I don't want to abandon myself and then have it reflected to me through more loss. Where is the hope in existing just to die?
  4. In the summer of 2017, I decided to move in and stay with a friend for about 6 months. In the later part of summer, she had gotten two kittens that I had a huge hand in helping raise. She mostly works. I don't have a job; since I'm on disability, I stayed at her home (a trailer) and watched, fed, and played with her cats. I scooped the liter, vacuumed the carpet, cleaned the floors, did the dishes, and cleaned the bathroom. This "friend" of mine and I had a falling out recently and now I'm not allowed to even visit the cats again. To say that they mean a lot to me is an understatement. What I'm thinking will help me the most is to have some sort of comfort during this process. There isn't anything I can do about not being able to see these cats. This person has humiliated me and hurt me very deeply, many times. People are not a source of love or comfort in my life ─ animals are. Last night, I felt suicidal over this sense of loss. As I said, people aren't a source of love or comfort in my life, but animals are, and because I'm going through intense feelings of grief, the only thing I can think of doing is reaching out. If this needs to be said, I am definitely a cat-person. My mother has a dog that I'm absolutely not interested in. There are neighborhood cats that I have and do feed from time to time. It's not the same as having a cat cuddle with you and purr while sitting in your lap. There really is nothing that has ever made me feel that loved. I'm in a lot of pain. - On a positive note, I've attempted to make this transition easier for myself, on my own. There is a website where you can upload personal photos and put them on just about any item you can think of; my plans on are to put photos of these cats on sweatshirts and buy them for myself for Christmas. ♥ I have photos of the cats. Soon, I may make a "Goodbye" video of me in the cats in the cat room, right before I move out of the trailer. In the end, I'm not sure if all of this is going to make it hurt worse, or if its going to help me feel better because I won't have the nagging worry that I will forget about the parts of them that I love the most ─ that has upset me terribly. Thank you for reading.
  5. I have being trying for children for 4.5years, 1.5years of that time has been clomid and IVF & ICSI. I have had 2 miscarriages at approx. 7 weeks. Is it me stopping the pregnancy or the soul coming to me? It is a very confusing time because I want children but, know I don't want the same family situation I was raised in (I have very different behaviors to my parents and know I will be different). Does anyone have an opinion on miscarriage? and/or an opinion on the scientific assistance to have a baby (IVF etc)?