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  1. Choosing your partner I'm not really sure what my question is and I'm not really sure what I hope someone could say to make me feel better. About one year ago I posted on this same topic, I have progressed maybe a little. However, I have my regrets that I am trying to move past. The scenario is, I had two loves that I had to choose between (long story). I had the romantic option and the deep serious option. In the end, I said goodbye to the romantic option. There are many many days that I have regrets about it, and I ask myself "why couldn't I have enjoyed myself, let go, enjoy a romance" that would have lasted perhaps a decade or maybe two. I never saw myself growing old with him and so I tried to make the "responsible" decision to leave him. I am mad at myself for not allowing myself to enjoy him. Now I am with the serious one, the deep one. I care for him and he tries to be good to me. But sometimes I wonder if we are truly as compatible as I thought. We don't live together but have in the past and his messiness annoyed me and to be honest I think he is lazy, this annoys me too. We do have a special connection. I'm just not sure we will work out, yet strangely I always saw myself growing old with him. It is a conflict of living in the now. Ironically, I chose the person I envisioned in my future, and now here I am trying to live in the now...and questioning my choices. I just don't know. And I am exhausted form it all. Just looking for your observations on this, no specific question.