Search the Community

Showing results for tags 'depression'.



More search options

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Content Type


Forums

  • Discussion
    • Spiritual Development
    • Love & Relationships
    • Health & Diet
    • Crystals, Tarot & Astrology
    • Music & Art
    • Other Discussions
  • The Completion Process
    • Shadow Work
    • The Completion Process
  • Teal Swan's Work
    • Ask Teal Videos
    • Processes
  • Community
    • Member Introductions
    • Europe
    • North America
    • Central America
    • South America
    • Asia
    • Africa
    • Oceania
  • Front Desk
    • Support and Feedback

Product Groups

  • Premium Content
  • Online Workshop Tickets
  • Tarot Cards
  • Event Replays
  • Books
  • Pendants
  • Mugs
  • T-Shirts

Blogs

There are no results to display.

Forms

  • Submit Questions for the July 30th Online Synchronization Workshop
  • Contact Form
  • Add Community Event Form
  • Ask Teal
  • Apply For Completion Process Certification Training
  • Sports & Business Coaching Inquiries
  • Start A Community
  • Contact Tran Kononova
  • Contact Natha Perkins
  • Contact Mia Falco
  • Contact Lazz Tulpa
  • Contact Michelle Murray
  • Contact Therese Titus
  • Contact Javier Reyes
  • Contact Nathaniel Paice
  • Contact Steve Clews
  • Contact Sunita Yalamarty
  • Contact Rafael Cuadros
  • Contact Christine Dürschner
  • Contact Nadine Kühn
  • Contact Bethany Walker
  • Contact Angelica Horvatic
  • Contact Jeanne Surmont
  • Claim The Tarot Deck Discount!
  • Get "The Completion Process" Pre-Order Gifts
  • The Completion Process Q and A
  • Contact Tomas Miklosko
  • Contact John Malotky Aka Big River
  • Contact Remco Van Hamersveld
  • Contact Graciela Hernandez
  • Online Synchronization and Connectivity Workshop - Oct 16th 2016
  • Contact Friederike Peters
  • Contact Beatriz Reyna
  • Contact Lanna Lake
  • Contact Abigail Kastner
  • Contact Oksana Shiv
  • Contact Jaye Oakley
  • Contact Zsuzsanna Bekesi
  • Contact Nadia Danielle
  • Contact Hunter Moore
  • Contact Maddy Christiana
  • Contact Corinna Eckenstein
  • Contact Gabriel Fernandes
  • Contact Ewelina Dolzycka
  • Volunteer Application
  • Contact Diana Rubio
  • Contact Douglas Courtois
  • Contact Kaleigh Goodford
  • Submit Questions For The Online Synchronization Workshop Jan 21 2018
  • Contact Elisabeth Karasek
  • Submit Questions For The Online Synchronization Workshop March 4 2018

Media Categories

  • Ask Teal
  • Interviews
  • Other

Find results in...

Find results that contain...


Date Created

  • Start

    End


Last Updated

  • Start

    End


Filter by number of...

Joined

  • Start

    End


Group


About Me


What Community Would You Like To Host?

Found 30 results

  1. notfromthisplanet

    depression, anxiety, loneliness Hello there! I'm Alex. I'm severly depressed, extremely lonely and anxious and also schizotypal. Long story short, I have Complex PTSD and denying my feelings and emotions only led to this incredibly heavy apathy, which means having no interest in anything and being numb. I feel so numb, that I can't do anything, because nothing motivates me to change my life (even though I want to). I have no family and no friends. Psychotherapy didn't work, so here I am!I registered on this forum because I believe that, if there is someone that would want to talk to me at least 3 or 4 times a week via e-mail, I could be much less apathetic. For a very long time I wondered why I can't get motivated and do the things I want to do and live my life etc., and the only answer to this question is that there is no one to keep me accountable - and I really believe that's what I need right now.If I only could find someone that would listen to me venting and give me a ''feedback'' to my rant, it would be great! I need someone to encourage me and congratulate me when I deserve it. I need someone whom I can talk to about my everyday struggles. I also wish I could talk to that person about the things I like, about what I read and what music I listen to. It's the first time I ask for something like this on the internet and I hope that I can find the type of person I'm looking for.If there is someone like me out there that is looking for the same thing, I could definitely offer the same support!
  2. Are you or someone you love a victim of Self Hate, Suicidal Feelings, Self Harm, or Severe Depression? Understanding how self hate begins with how hatred for the self was developed during childhood is critical. How to stop hating yourself resides in the realization that Self Hatred is merely a coping mechanism developed in childhood. A Genius Coping Mechanism at that. Teal Swan is an International Spiritual Leader. She offers perspective on a wide range of topics including relationships, anxiety, meditation, shadow work, authenticity, the law of attraction, The Completion Process, healing, PTSD, emotions and spirituality Website: www.tealswan.com For daily updates, monthly online Synchronization Workshops join TealSwan.com/premium Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thespiritualcatalyst/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tealspiritualcatalyst/?hl=en Twitter: TEALCATALYST Newsletter: https://tealswan.com/newsletter Completion Process Book: https://thecompletionprocess.com/#the-book Teal's Meditations: https://gumroad.com/tealswan Teal's e-shop: tealswan.com/teals-products Beginning Song: Kuan Yin's Mantra (c) 2002 Lisa Thiel Help us caption & translate this video! http://amara.org/v/9Hq9/ Help us caption & translate this video! https://amara.org/v/gAMs/
  3. Lauraaa

    Prebirth trauma?! Hello all! I find this subject very vague and hard to approach..so any opinion/suggestion/anything is welcomed! I ve always suffered from depression, even since kindergarten. If I am to describe what depression is to me, it s mostly a reccurent feeling of "not wanting to be in this life", that no structure existent in this 3D life can actually meet my deep needs (I don t even know what needs specifically, I just know they re not met)..there s not even a want for a relationship, money, a good job, having fun or whatever people usually seem to want in their lives. My energy levels are depleted, I ve always felt like a zombie and I sleep 12 hours/day. I have a very very low grasp on my individuality, I feel like I want to melt into everything around me. I spend 90% of my time alone in bed covered with the sheets over my head not wanting to involve in life in any way possible. Very often I feel like I don t even want to talk, and the dissociated and disconnected from everything "in the air" feeling is always there. Recently I ve started to question these 'symptoms' by going deep into myself and the answear I keep running into is that the trauma occured during my conception, when the egg from my mom didn t even want to transform into a baby and participate in life. From this point on, I have not a clue what should I do with this information or with my life in general. Going through life, I ve of course undergone the splitting process, and I ve ended up with parts which want to get this 3d life done rightly, want to be like everybody else, feel the same things people usually do, want to finally understand myself and my needs. I don't know how I can possibly integrate this prebirth part of mine (it s my most dominant part by the way) with all the other parts and with the world around me. Does anybody share this feelings and sensations? Is anybody there who does know how to deal with such stuff? Thank you in advance!
  4. GabijaCij

    Will Healing ever end? Are you in a never ending loop of suffering, despair, depression and loneliness? It seems like when you are on the road to healing, that there is never an end, especially in psychological and emotional healing. But a reality is that anything that has a beginning has an end. Also that healing is what life is made of because learning and discovery come through the process of healing. Here is what to add to the description: Teal Swan is an International Spiritual Leader. She offers perspective on a wide range of topics including relationships, anxiety, meditation, shadow work, the law of attraction, The Completion Process, healing, PTSD, emotions and spirituality Website: www.tealswan.com For daily updates, monthly online Synchronization Workshops join TealSwan.com/premium Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thespiritualcatalyst/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tealspiritualcatalyst/?hl=en Twitter: TEALCATALYST Newsletter: https://tealswan.com/newsletter Completion Process Book: https://thecompletionprocess.com/#the-book Teal's Meditations: https://gumroad.com/tealswan Teal's e-shop: tealswan.com/teals-products Beginning Song: Kuan Yin's Mantra (c) 2002 Lisa Thiel End Song: Howling Sloth www.sundyer.com/products Help us caption & translate this video! http://amara.org/v/9Hq9/
  5. My boyfriend is having financial issues Hey, good evening Haven't wrote or been on in a while, I always love it here. I love this community :). I'm having major anxiety for my bf because he is having issues with having steady work as he is an operator, but does not have a "great" job where he gets to work all year round. So his cheques have been coming up short from lack of snow(where I live it's snowy in the winter). And I'm wondering if anyone can read into my energy on this post, or have insight as to why myself am involved but not directly, and how I can overcome it, and maybe help him as well. I hate to see him suffer, and I am too. We don't live together he lives on his own, while his family is far, and I live with my mom still because I am a student. Thanks guys! Kels
  6. Douglas Power

    When Is Suicide Okay? Hi all. When do you think suicide is permissable? Is it ever? Yes, it can leave loved ones grieving, but what if a soul was truly up against a no win situation, such as an accident or coma or jail/prison or horrific violence or suffering? If the point of life is to love, and learn, and find happiness, there are truly many instances where it is just not possible within given circumstances for any kind of evolution to happen for that particular soul. Do we agree? I feel like some souls, to save themselves and potentially others from harm or even more sadness and chaos, have a right to set themselves free. Wipe the plate clean. Start again, but take those lessons learned into the new dimension and experience awaiting them. If we are truly immortal spirits, we all deserve a chance at happiness and redemption. Food for thought.......
  7. Are you unhappy, depressed or generally not ok? Every time you get close to happiness are you suddenly blocked by some unseen force? Teal Swan uncovers a strange condition that blocks our ability to be happy and to be ok. This affliction can be very confusing and frustrating if every time you feel like you are happy, that it is wrong in some way. In this episode, Teal Swan explains this dynamic. Teal Swan is an International Spiritual Leader. She offers perspective on a wide range of topics including relationships, anxiety, meditation, shadow work, the law of attraction, The Completion Process, healing, PTSD, emotions and spirituality Website: www.tealswan.com For daily updates, monthly online Synchronization Workshops join TealSwan.com/premium Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thespiritualcatalyst/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tealspiritualcatalyst/?hl=en Twitter: TEALCATALYST Newsletter: https://tealswan.com/newsletter Completion Process Book: https://thecompletionprocess.com/#the-book Teal's Meditations: https://gumroad.com/tealswan Teal's e-shop: tealswan.com/teals-products Endsong: Kuan Yin's Mantra (c) 2002 Lisa Thiel Help us caption & translate this video! http://amara.org/v/9Hq9/
  8. Lisette Nilsson

    "Burnout" and depression Hi everyone, I posted here a few months ago and I want to thank everyone who replied to that post. I am currently, and have been for a long time, going through a depression and what in not so medical terms would be called a "burnout". I was always the top student in school, obsessed with getting good grades because that was the only way I could compensate for my lack of self-worth and feel that I was lovable and "good enough". I've had my share of emotional trauma during my childhood and my obsession with being "perfect" has now resulted in me collapsing totally. I'm 24 years old, turning 25 in December, by the way. I've been feeling like this on and off for several years, and 2015 and 2016 have been the worst years of my life so far. I recently "graduated" from university (although I haven't gotten my diploma because I haven't finished all of my courses). The majority of my time at university I felt exhausted, depressed and I knew I was about to hit a giant wall sooner or later, where I would no longer be able to put up the facade of being able to hold it together. I felt that the field of study that I had chosen (biology) wasn't right for me but still I kept trying to make it work. My boyfriend at the time, who comes from a culture which mentality is to always work hard, be honorable and never ever be weak or give up, didn't understand me and told me to just "keep it together and keep going" (giant reflection of my dad, of course…). So I kept pushing myself. I remember one day, in May 2015, I went to the schools' psychologist and broke down in tears. I told her how tired and exhausted I was, how I couldn't do this anymore and how hopeless everything felt. She scheduled an appointment with the school's doctor, who gave me a prescription for antidepressants, which I never took. It felt like nobody really understood me. In September 2015 I went to England as an exchange student, hoping that it would change everything for the better, that it would give me my zest for life back. It didn't. Instead, I felt worse than ever. I felt more sluggish, tired, exhausted, unmotivated and hopelessly depressed than I ever had before. I also broke up with my boyfriend, which left me feeling even worse, althoug I knew it was "the right thing" to do. I was relieved to come back home after the semester was over, but the fatigue and the depression didn't go away, it got even worse. I felt like I wanted to die, and I couldn't see any end to my suffering. I managed to get a job after my "graduation", at a company I had been wanting to work for since I was little, but the job was really stressful. I also had a very irregular work schedule. Some days I would start work at 7 am and finish 4 pm, and some day I would start work at 1 am and finish work by 11 pm. I can't do it anymore. My body has given up. I feel like I'm in this fog all the time. My head feels dizzy and foggy and no matter how much I sleep I still feel completely exhausted when I wake up. I was hoping things would start getting better by now. I have had one, if not several "awakenings", I've become really conscious of myself, I’ve done so much shadow work, I've grown so much over the past year, and this is what life rewards me with (sorry for being pessimistic right now). I've been trying to not have any resistance to feeling depressed, but it doesn't help. It breaks my heart to know that this is what my life will look like for one or two years, maybe more, before I can finally start being normal again. The reason I started working for this company, was to save up money for travel. If there's one thing I'm sure I want to do in my life, it is to travel (I blame my Sagittarius sun for that, partly). I want to write, to have a blog where I can inspire and help people. I want to make Youtube videos that inspire people. I want to make the world a better place, but it frustrates me and makes me want to smack people in the face when they tell me to “follow my dreams”. I would have followed my dreams already, if I could. It made me absolutely nuts the other day when my brother told me what the medium he recently went to had said when he asked if she had any advice for any of his family members. The medium, or well, her guide, had told him that I (his sister) need to change my mindset regarding work, and that I have a vision of what I want to do, and that the time for me to do that is now, not later, and that I have to be brave enough to do it. I makes me absolutely furious. It’s easy for her (the guide) to say, who doesn’t have to be weighed down by human feelings and human perceptions. My dream is to travel, make videos and write and inspire others, but HOW could I possibly do that, when the total amount of my savings is the equivalent of 1520 USD? I would probably be able to travel for a month or so, if I travel really cheap, and then I would have to go back home. I want to travel to Costa Rica (I’ve been there before) or some Caribbean Island, but the problem is that even if I managed to find some sort of job, I’m not allowed to stay in Costa Rica for more than 3 months at a time, and I won’t be able to afford a ticket out of the country and then back again. I would have to go back to Sweden and be jobless and homeless after “selling everything and moving to Costa Rica to live the dream for two months. Roses and sunshine. ”, lol. Ugh. Furthermore, I don’t want to travel right now. I don’t want to do anything. Also, I know that only bad things could happen if I go travel, given the vibration that I’m currently holding. I have always felt like the universe is against me and that life is a hard struggle, where you have to struggle and fight for everything. Not really a yummy vibration to bring along on your first big trip as a solo female traveler, eh? It’s so hard to change that belief. When I was 3 years old, my baby brother died. He died at birth, so I never got to meet him, but my parents have told me that I went absolutely crazy after that happened. I was constantly angry, I wouldn’t let anybody touch me or come near me, especially not my dad, and I would run around looking for my brother, thinking that my parents had hid him somewhere. It got so bad that my parents tried to take me to see a “child psychologist”, but I refused to see him. I don’t have much memory from this, but I can see how that whole event probably lead up to the destructive beliefs I have about the world today. Anyhow, traveling seems very far off right now, and given the state that I’m currently in, it’s not something I am currently capable of doing. I need rest, and I need to try to survive, although most days I just want to die. The problem is, in today’s society, being sick or unwell is a luxury. Someone like me can’t afford to be sick, to not work. I know that I theoretically could move back home to my parents and live there, but it would kill me. I can’t stand my dad for even a day, and I can barely stand my mum either. It’s all good as long as we are joking and laughing together, but as soon as we start talking about anything even remotely serious, all hell breaks loose and I just want to run away and never have to see them again. Also, it’s not ok by my parents standard to be unwell. They keep telling me how this is not normal, how I need to get better and how me eating “rabbit food” (I’m vegan) is destroying my health, although I take better care of my health and my diet than I’ve ever seen them doing. My dad never ever understands me, he is so pessimistic, narrow-minded, stubborn and judgmental. Anytime I won’t apply for a promotion at work, he goes absolutely nuts and starts saying mean things. He used to tease me and bully me for working in a restaurant before. He is also super negative, always super stressed, complaining about how he has no time to do anything, and how he never has enough money. This is the kind of energy I grew up in, so…. Thanks Universe, *facepalm. So, you can see that living with my parents would be like living inside a torture chamber. They are very unconscious people, in my opinion, and even though I love them, I couldn’t do it. If I feel suicidal now, I can’t imagine how I would feel if I moved back home. So, it’s not an option. I guess I could keep working half-time at my current job and in my free time try to heal myself and take care of myself as best as I can. Otherwise, without a job, I would have to live on the street. I think I could do it (keep on working I mean), but the problem is, if I only work half time, all of my money would go to surviving (paying the rent, paying bills, buying food etc.) and I wouldn’t be able to save up money for travel. I know that travel can’t be a priority in my life right now, but it still breaks my heart to think that I will have to spend my time something I don’t want to do just to keep myself alive. Then I could just as well kill myself. Before, I always had my dream of travel to work towards, and I could find a purpose in doing something I hated, because I knew it would enable me to save up money for my dream, but if I only work half-time, I won’t even have that dream to work towards anymore. I know that I need to come into a space where I feel abundant and shit, but I can’t. I’ve been trying it, and when I have a good day, it works, but in the long run it never works. I haven’t yet come to a space where I fully believe I can be abundant. It’s easy to believe that I can be abundant when the sun is shining and I feel happy, but days like these I can’t feel anything but miserable. I’ve been trying to heal my issues around money but it takes time. I hate life. It’s so unfair, hard and horrible. I hate the universe. This has been a long rant, but I feel so desperate for connection and understanding, and I feel desperate to express myself. If any of you have taken the time to read this, I want to thank you. If you have experienced anything similar, if you’ve been depressed or “burnt out”, maybe you could share your story and your thoughts below? It would mean a lot to me to know that I’m not alone. Thank you. Lisette
  9. elama

    Addiction- Need help Hi, I belong to a well-reputed family. I was married to a person from another well-reputed family. In our province, we were one of the wealthiest families. But now we are one among the poorest families. Until last two months, our family life was wonderful, filled with love and care. But from few months my husband is involved in gambling. This is affecting our family life a lot. He is not finding time for my kids, not even for me. He comes home late. Initially, I thought he was busy with his office work. Later I came to know that he was busy with gambling. Because of his gambling, our happiness has gone. As he was losing money in gambling, he was being depressed. I spoke with his best friend. He told me that, he had advised my husband to stop this gambling. But my husband is addicted to it. How can I get him out of this gambling? His friend suggested undergoing gambling addiction treatment program from a clinic in Edmonton. Will this help? Please give your suggestions.
  10. Ruined my own life, don't know what to do now I'm 26 years old. I had a ton of interests when I was a child/young teen, but I didn't have enough foresight to structure my life so that I would be able to make a living out of those pursuits or even to learn or be involved in them at all. I got lost in obsessive or addictive behaviors because of a deathly fear of my body, illness, anxiety, self-rejection, spinelessness, arrogance, and lacking the concept that I could have positive results from doing anything. I have wasted many years that I could have been using to develop a great life. Now I've already wasted the time and money and support that could have been invested in those pursuits. I'm horribly depressed and I haven't had a social life or a generally good experience with people since I was a child. I haven't had fun in an extremely long time. I have wasted my life and let my spirit die over so many years that I don't feel compelled very much by the worth of whatever I can do from now on. I will be in the shadow of the life I destroyed forever and that just makes me want to die. I don't think I can have a fully satisfying future and I don't want to live that kind of life. I don't know what to do, but I'm moving away soon.
  11. Ruined my own life, don't know what to do now Hey, I'll keep it really simple without going into the story too much. I'm 26 years old. I had a ton of interests when I was a child/young teen, but I didn't have enough foresight to structure my life so that I would be able to make a living out of those pursuits or even to learn or be involved in them at all. I got lost in obsessive or addictive behaviors because of a deathly fear of my body, illness, self-hate, and lacking the concept that I could have positive results from doing anything. I have wasted many years that I could have been using to develop a great life, but now I've already wasted the time and money that could have been invested in those pursuits. I'm horribly depressed and I haven't had a social life or a generally good experience with people since I was a child. Essentially I have wasted my life and let my spirit die over so many years that I don't feel compelled very much by the worth of whatever I can do from now on. I will be in the shadow of the life I destroyed forever and that just makes me want to die.
  12. psychedelics for depression and anxiety What are the best psychedelics for depression and anxiety ?
  13. Nemo

    .

    .
  14. Stuck in an abusive and arranged marriage Hi everyone, I'm now in a relationship with the opposite gender. For my girlfriend I want ask help for her current situation in Singapore. She is married since 18 years. The indian father decided in her age 22 to arrange wedding with an indian man from a spiritual sikh family. He didnt even ask her, but normally the parents ask both if they also agree with this... But I think the tradition of Hinduism have more influence in the Sikh tradition in Punjabi. She didn't say her opinion, she learned to be quiet and to sacrified everything for her parents and now since long time for husband and the two kids. He is cheating her since long , even left her for 10 years in India alone with kids. She give so much love but receives so less from both - kids and husband. Before left India she discovered that he is cheating her since a time with an philipinnes girl. After they arrived Singapore , he began continuesly cheating her . She forgave him everytime but he even forced her in the last years to been touched sexual. Now I have a relationship with her, she tried to avoid sex, but he is very aggressive and thinks his right is to take what he desires. Before her vacation in India she has been sexual abused twice, she reported me everytime. She said he changed after India, but he tried again in common bedroom, but she began to disturb him with fighting. I offer my help through Facebook, but me as a young man I have not enough money and time to support her more directly in Singapore. She had begin to allow her to see dreams, to have wonderful future with me. But because of kids, she actually dont want see future, but wish so much to live with me as wife. She dont see any chances so she lives with husband in one room to take care for her kids. How can she come in her own power to find a way back to radical self-love , so she can create a better life to live?
  15. lesteinhoff

    .

    .
  16. These last few weeks I have been feeling very emotional. I am crying so easily at a lot of things, that which would not usually bother me. I am not pregnant, but I am experiencing a lot of energy change, and the universe is now forcing me to adjust my vibration so I can expand. But it has been very painful. I'm wondering if anyone else has been experiencing this, and how they are dealing with it.
  17. Hello all. It's as the title explains. And I'd love it to stop. I also must add that i created a thread where i attempted to bring up how unhappy and confused I am most of the time. ( Note, I do feel much better lately but I'd still LOOOOVE if i could start making some friends on here for starters. ) So yeah, here I am and almost always ready to talk/connect with you guys. / I'm no good at this.. x__x; Edit: I t also feels like my old age will mean just as less as my youth does right now. A good example is the title 23 and ready to die. And a few others of this nature. not exactly about this topic either. ( for those wanting to get to know me better. )
  18. Subscribe to Teal’s newsletters here: http://thespiritualcatalyst.us6.list-manage2.com/subscribe?u=a0c9fbd5534138eb374993029&id=bebf0eebc3 Teal's Web page: http://tealswan.com/ Teal's Meditations: http://www.jointeallive.com/meditations/ Teal's e-shop: https://gumroad.com/tealswan In the past, Teal has spoken a lot about the invalidation of negative emotions and about how to deal with emotions in general because people tend to struggle the most with negative emotions. And societally speaking, most societies deem positive emotion acceptable and negative emotion unacceptable. However, our resistance to emotion as a species is not limited to negative emotions. Often, we disapprove of, dismiss, disregard, invalidate, trivialize and suppress positive emotions in ourselves and in other people as well. In this episode, Teal explains how this works, the long terms effects of it and teaches us how to avoid doing this to one another. http://www.askteal.com Kuan Yin's Mantra (c) 2002 Lisa Thiel Help us caption & translate this video! http://amara.org/v/WIx7/
  19. ftaborconsulting@gmail.com

    Hi Guys, For the past year I've been working as a project manager in London. Its been tough on my health..I got a lip condition, skin issues and had an extra long period. However during this time my spirit was never broken, I would spend weekends out of London in nature and spend evenings at home with my boyfriend exploring all the things I am fascinated by. However, then I went on holiday. I went to the most incredible place in Italy called Argentario. Its completely wild, the sea is beautiful, you can see a full vista of the stars and will have the company of wild cats and wild boar (pig). It may sound slightly scary, but I've been going since a child, so its like home. Its a place that my grandfather discovered and helped to develop into what it is today. He is passed away now, but I felt his presence and his desire for all the family to be there united enjoying this place together. Unfortunately my parents are broke, so they couldn't come so I spent x1 week there with my boyfriend and x1 week there by myself. I loved every moment, I took masses of pictures and I also really bonded with some extended family who were there at the same time. When I came back to London I was super excited to give my presents to everyone. The day after we went for dinner and my mum threw a scene and ended up in the car crying. Apparently my parents were reaching breaking point financially and my sister said my mum had been hitting my dad quite a lot when I was gone. I had come back to London in a heat wave and the next couple of days I was invited to hyde park quite a lot by my sister for a picnic and by my boyfriend who lives nearby. However I did not enjoy the experience at all, after being in real nature, this felt so inadequate.. My first day back at work after the holiday was horrific. I had just been been moved off my old client, onto a new client because the former of 10 years had moved to another job and I was far too unqualified and prepared for the job. My new team of developers all stated how they were concerned and I too. So that morning I mentioned to my boss that I really did not want to work on the account. On the way back from work I had a fight with my boyfriend who I felt was always negative and complaining. That night the IBS started. I had some dinner with my boyfriend and my stomach completely seized up with cramps. The next morning I felt so ill and fevery. I handed in my notice and soon after I was making my way home, to my mum who is the best nurse carer in the world. I spent a couple of days in agony getting cramps and deep sweating till I would nearly pass out. I didnt know what I had at this stage but I was already taking laxatives and other things because nothing was coming out at all. However this was exhausting so I stopped. My parents were worried that I had lost so much weight and accused me of anorexia, to which I got furious and my sister suggested I see the doctor, who was only so helpful and very expensive. He suggested I take depression pills, to which my mum refused. And after realised the deep connection between nerves and anxiety and our gut. I think I was processing so much negative feelings about being back in this reality after the holiday, my gut completely shut down. The constipation after that changed to excreting this horrible jelly, which really freaked me out, which then turned to diarrhea. This morning I felt so depressed. I have completed flopped at home these recent weeks, allowing my mum to do everything and this morning I didnt want to get out of bed I just wanted to stay in a ball in bed. So as usual I made my way like a sick zombie to work. When I got to work, there was my chair. The were the tasks that Im familiar with and colleagues I know. Somehow I feel better here. I know that I want to work for myself on this app idea I have and that I want to live in nature - i.e. I dont want to work somewhere like this, with the horrid commute and stress of London. But all my family are here in London and I love them very much. However I do feel bad living at home, maybe being cared for all the time is not that constructive and being told by my controlling mother which direction in life to move in is not helpful either.. I am so confused right now! I hate being depressed! If anyone can intuitively help me on this or is willing to help me heal please me know! Franki!
  20. elkur

    I submitted a question about adrenal fatigue. It is not diagnosed in Western medicine, however Traditional Chinese Medicine addresses this problem. I'm going to share my own experience briefly on this topic and maybe someone can relate to this. When I started my independent life I put myself into a huge amount of stress I was not used to. I had no idea who I was and what I wanted, so I did what everyone else around me also did. Which is moving to another city to go to university and get a job. I noticed myself to be very unmotivated and 'phlegmatic' as one of my bosses said. I hated every singe one of my jobs and thought that there is something wrong with me. When I was working at a fast-phased restaurant I was often told that I was moving too slow and I started to push myself faster and faster even though my body was like dragging me down. I'm still unsure of what it was all about, but I'm getting closer. These past five years have felt like going upstream constantly, I developed anxiety and panic attacks and now I ended up in a place where I crashed so hard I had to quit everything and move back to my moms, I feel constant impending doom, I feel like my body can't handle even the slightest stresses, even qigong seems like a too much of an exercise and I've also experienced some very dark feelings of depression. I've been feeling depressed a lot during this time, but I'm starting to learn that the majority addresses these symptoms I have (weakness, overwhelm, low stress tolerance, low energy, lack of motivation) as depression! I am honestly not sure if the emotional feeling of depression can really make you physically unable to function? As I said, I have experienced depression and yes, suppressed it big time, but I'm honestly amazed how I'm being labeled as 'depressed' when all I thought was that my adrenals are exhausted and they cannot produce stress hormones like they used to. I don't deny that I feel depressed emotionally, but the physical stuff is like a whole different world. That is not surprising at all given how I pushed myself to live these past six months, I started new school, new job in sales where I had never worked before, I was struggling with money, because the first few months I was learning skills and didn't make much. I had my first panic attack a year ago and developed a panic disorder, I successfully overcame it, but they did come back when I started my new work and school, I had 12-hour days, I was extremely anxiuos every morning and stressed out most of the days. Until I couldn't push myself anymore, I was mentally willing to, but I felt like I just can't do it anymore and I had to quit everything. I wasn't surprised how my body reacted, but it seems like these are 'just' symptoms of depression according to the mainstream. I've been trying to rest for almost two months now and every time I get out and be active I crash hard afterwards. I'm very unsure what to do and how to recover. I have contradictory needs, one is to rest and the other is to go out and see people, but I feel like they're working against each other. I have never considered taking antidepressants, but now I'm actually thinking about it, because I can't function normally. But at the same time, I feel like this would not treat the root cause, my adrenals. Well there is definitely another root cause beneath that, but that's another story. I've been thinking of seeing a Chinese Medicine doctor, but since I don't work, I cannot really afford it at this time. I need a recovery plan, but I'm unsure if western medicine has optimal tools for that. Other than that, my symptoms have gone a bit better and this feeling of collapsing or impending doom is way smaller, but I don't feel confident at all in what my body can or cannot handle at this time. I would really like an episode on it and if anyone has some light on that topic, I'm listening.
  21. Hello, I am in desperate need for help. Some background info: I'm 19 years old, I have been dating my boyfriend for 10 months now. When we met, we had an instant connection and it was as if we had found our best friends in each other. We were happy for a very long time. But that was only until recently. About two months ago the relationship started changing. My boyfriend is sick and tired of me and my emotional problems. I have severe anxiety and I tend to panic and cry in situations that frustrate me. I think he just doesn't understand what I am going through. He says that I am stressing HIM out, because I am always depending on him to make me feel better. It is true that I am very clingy, in fact, I believe that I have separation anxiety. I used to have it when I was a kid too, I would stress and cry about my mother leaving the house. My boyfriend probably feels trapped in the relationship because he never gets to spend time with his own friends, and I am always latching onto him, and when we aren't together, I'm texting or calling him constantly. I love him so much. I wish he understood how much. I love us together. How can I save our relationship and stop feeling like the world is over when he isn't by my side? And how can I stop that horrible feeling in my stomach when I feel like he is going to leave me, the panic attacks when we have arguments, and stop crying every day? It is absolutely exhausting. Thank you for any help, it is much appreciated!
  22. Hello, I am in desperate need for help. Some background info: I'm 19 years old, I have been dating my boyfriend for 10 months now. When we met, we had an instant connection and it was as if we had found our best friends in each other. We were happy for a very long time. But that was only until recently. About two months ago the relationship started changing. My boyfriend is sick and tired of me and my emotional problems. I have severe anxiety and I tend to panic and cry in situations that frustrate me. I think he just doesn't understand what I am going through. He says that I am stressing HIM out, because I am always depending on him to make me feel better. It is true that I am very clingy, in fact, I believe that I have separation anxiety. I used to have it when I was a kid too, I would stress and cry about my mother leaving the house. My boyfriend probably feels trapped in the relationship because he never gets to spend time with his own friends, and I am always latching onto him, and when we aren't together, I'm texting or calling him constantly. I love him so much. I wish he understood how much. I love us together. How can I save our relationship and stop feeling like the world is over when he isn't by my side? And how can I stop that horrible feeling in my stomach when I feel like he is going to leave me, the panic attacks when we have arguments, and stop crying every day? It is absolutely exhausting. Thank you for any help, it is much appreciated!
  23. Hey Tribers, Here is the situation. I rent a house in Jacksonville and I get some roommates from Roomster and craisglist. My newest one, that moved in five days ago, is some 19 year old girl student with her dad paying her rent. She has a "needy" friend, some guy. He's stayed the past three nights, and today, he's been here the whole day while she was gone. So I feel I've been lied to, about renting the room to her... she didn't mention that this guy, who doesn't have a job or a car, would basically be her live in puppy dog. Anyway, So I'm pissed about it, primarily being lied to, and from that, I anger I get depressed and disappointed with myself, because i feel like a failure. I feel if I were more successful, I wouldn't have to deal with stupid shit... Lastly, I'm not sure if I believe I can create my own reality in terms of financial abundance. I think that i'm unsuccessful because I don't find joy in what I do. I am not a very motivated/ambitious person. I'm trying to figure out what really Inspires me. I feel stuck. I welcome any thoughts and comments.
  24. Adam

    I just want to let anyone know that if you're going through a really bad time right now you can PM me and I'll listen. I know that things happen and I can't even be surprised anymore. PM me with whatever you want to say or vent and I might give some advice but sometimes being heard is all we need. I'm just a normal guy who cares and can help. Peace
  25. AbsoluteWave

    I'm going to bring it up that even from others information. I am indeed chronically depressed. ( so despite of my optimistic personality and my " mental disabilities" ) along with my past experiences, have made me quite a strange person. I've also went through something rather annoying and ended up with two less friends than I already had ( next to nothing ) ( I'm rather depressed every day despite how happy I can get in a day. seems more like a distraction and I recall that nothing actually got better ) I've experienced next to no friendships throughout my entire life. if anything, a few acquaintances or strong friendships that lasted until people moved and the other never sends me a message unless I message them and so on. that's always the case with me and in many cases it is obviously me becoming annoying or less interesting as they the once thought. Or we just stop talking all together. fine and all but damn... So many liars about. even when I can see they are doing other things, scheduling whatnot. displaying their friendship and so on. I've only got like 3 GOOD friends who I know wouldn't actually ditch me and so on. so i actually don't mind it when they are suddenly silent for a while or longer. Even before my biggest depressions, seeing others happy and so on bring me much joy.. specially if i'm the one who brings some form of it. And being the person that I am and would imagine myself to me.. passionate, compassionate, empathe0tic, trustworthy... and so one.. much of which I only take on the title from what others have said about me and so on. Main reasons why I don't say such things about myself is because how angry i can get and so on. That remind me that I am NOT kind... i am NOT sweet... Despite even the smallest spark of something gives me hope and so on. (I shouldn't have said anything and nobody would have seen this mess of a post and other users would only see what's been around the forum up til now. I'm a poor excuse for anything to be honest... which is why I try to not vouch anything in my " worthless" name Though I am worth alot to many people that still doesn't erase how useless I actually am. not even to myself. I'm not particularly amazing to around 24 7 where as other people seem to just be somebody who you want to be with and prove you right every day.. x.x ) What makes an attractive person? Their race? Their family? Their job? Their qualifications? Black sheep of the family. black sheep of a family that was cut off from the greater portion of the tree. I can hardly take care of myself ( I reckon I could do much better now, but still ) My personality is lacking an damaged. Despite how badly I wish to be a great person perhaps others would like to aspire to be. And seems like a long shot to think I'm like somebody else rather than simply aspire to be like specific people who just beam lights of true hospitality and so on. I mean, I grew up in a rather strange but well off family but everything was so dysfunctional, mainly on my part. Always compared to my older nephew and almost practically demanded i be more like him and follow in his footsteps But also more and more I figured out that this " you're the baby of the family " was souly to be somebody who wont leave the house and so on when one of my older brothers has been living with us since before I was even born, so... And he is hard to live up to.. ever since elementary, perfect grades, super athletic, loved by everybody and his teachers. respected as a human being Even to this day almost all of his friends from elementary are people who are still his friend NOW. Even hang out with him often, travel to see him. ACTUALLY follow through with plans and shiet like that. Not to mention he easily became manager of a restaurant in Vancouver BUT also now runs his own business and so on. And for the longest time, has this wonderful girlfriend I wonder why she's even with that scum. But as I have said many times before with other things. seems like his truer side shows off to everybody else but with me he cntinues to torment and tease me. Oddly enough, after I told his girlfriend about my " gayness" of which she was fine with and so on, that it turns out he didn't care either but he doesn't seem to care that it means alot to me and my parents would most likely disown me if they fully accepted the fact. Specially my older sister who I admire alot and out of them all, she's the one I'm closest with. besides my mother.. >_>'' I guess I'll just wait a little longer until the shift into 4d before anything cam be truly positive in my life. Not like I should really care since I LOVE being alone anyway.. also RATHER it this way. not just cause of my influence on people. I'd rather be somebody that looks nice on the first glance.. Whether or not I'll become fully healed in time... I just want everyone else to be happy. Witnessing world peace will be more than enough for me.